Other Shibe’s Emotional Support Thread

[d1uni5ys24si3o]

Omega, can you lighten up?

im afraid not yet

*drowns you*

 

[The_Omega_Effect]

*drowns you*

ty

 

[Angelofroses]

If it’s alright I guess I’ll rant a little.

Basically for a few years I had this best friend and rp partner not on this site but somewhere else. We talked and roleplayed literally everyday and I’m not even joking haha. Then last month they blocked me. Obviously I was shocked until I found out their mom was the one who blocked me. (I didn’t even learn that from them I had to learn it from someone else -.-)

To be honest I’m very depressed from this. I miss that friend so much but I hate the fact they ignore me now and don’t even wanna bother contacting me on other places. They have forgotten me and moved on pretty fast. I’m starting to think they don’t care that their mother blocked me.

Besides all of that I’m angry that they so active and happy. They don’t care that they hurt me everyday by ignoring me and rping with someone else. My other friends haven’t been helpful they expect me to move on fast already which I can’t.

A mutual friend has been extra ‘helpful’ (that’s sarcasm) they yelled at me to give my friend space and act like my friend is the victim and I did something evil. Newsflash they’re the one ignoring me and not caring that their mother blocked me. Also they act like their mother watches them 24/7 so they can’t talk to me.

I guess what even more hurts is basically they were given an option by their mother ‘Stop talking and rping with me or else their mom will make sure they are cut off from entire online world’. It hurts that they didn’t hesitate to choose other friends over me the person whose been there for them for years and was their constant rp partner. Also it’s been weeks so it makes me angry that they don’t wanna unblock me and they still won’t talk to me.

Makes me feel like I’m someone whose given up easily. Also that friend never apologized for their mother blocking me and isn’t concerned about my wellbeing. She’s acting like a coward because I know if the roles were reversed I would have done everything to contact her but she never did. It sucks that I’m the only one who actually cares about what happened

Just very recently she also deleted our roleplays so that was a huge slap in my face.

 

[PhoenixMire]

Man this thread is wonderful. You’re a great person Shibe.
I kinda need to unload something

I have a best friend. The best friend I’ve ever had. We get along really well and talk about pretty much anything. She’s the only friend I’ve felt this comfortable around and the only friend that I feel isn’t just putting up with me to be nice. I feel like she actually wants to talk to me and be friends with me; it’s great.

She lives pretty far away (probably around 700 miles away...) and it’s rare that I get to see her in person. She also has a lot of health issues and is pretty physically weak because of it. Often she struggles and has bad days because of how sick and weak she feels.

This summer has been particularly bad for her. She’s barely been speaking to me between feeling weak and tired all the time, plus having a huge influx of appointments that are taking up almost all her spare time. We used to talk daily but now she goes multiple days at a time without speaking to me.

This doesn’t make me upset or anything - I fully understand what she’s going through (even if I don’t go through the same thing), but it just makes me so worried for her. I’m constantly concerned and I often get upset on her behalf, that she has to suffer so much.

My parents (who are really awesome, kind people) are planning to go on vacation to where my friend lives, and then bring her along on vacation so we can just chill out and have lots of fun together. But as the vacation date gets closer and my friend doesn’t seem to be doing any better, I get increasingly worried.

I feel so irritated with myself for it - like, am I being selfish to worry about the vacation? I’m worried about it because I simply wanted my friend to be able to get out and do something and have fun; I wanted her to be able to take her mind off her illness and appointments, even if it’s only for a short time. Plus of course I wanted to see her in person again and I was excited at the idea of being on a vacation with her. Am I selfish for still hoping she can come and have fun with me? I honestly don’t know anymore.
I just want her to get feeling better and I want to spend some time with her. And I’m upset that she has to feel so sick all the time and struggle so much. Life isn’t fair - but we all knew that already...

Anyway, thank you for letting me vent! Sorry that I rambled for a while there.

 

[Shibe]

Hey all, I’m so dang sorry about not getting to your replies. I’ve been very sick lately, like sleeping away the days kinda sick. As soon as I’m feeling a little better I will be sure to get some supportive replies and some cards out to you guys!

-My most sincere apologies, Love Shibe

 

[FoolsErin]

Hey, so I know you're probably not gonna respond to this for a while (Or maybe not at all), but I gotta say this.

I reconnected with someone from a really old roleplay I was once in. The new roleplay that I reconnected with him in itself didn't ever really take off, but through some OOC chatting and a side 1x1, we became friends. We'd talk about just about anything, and I'd honestly consider him one of the best friends I've ever made throughout my days on the internet. He listened to my junk that he didn't care that much about, and I helped him build up his ideas that I didn't care that much about. It wasn't a perfect friendship, but we made it work.

But the thing is, recently he announced that he was cutting himself off from RPN and Discord to focus on school. That was initially fine, it made sense. He had complained that he was procrastinating and stressed out a lot. But now I'm feeling really lonely and all, I didn't exactly connect with anyone quite the same way I did with him. I want him to do better, but I also just want to talk to my damn friend again. I'm wondering a lot if I'm selfish for wanting the latter statement and how I can make myself not lonely.

 

[PhoenixMire]

Hey all, I’m so dang sorry about not getting to your replies. I’ve been very sick lately, like sleeping away the days kinda sick. As soon as I’m feeling a little better I will be sure to get some supportive replies and some cards out to you guys!

-My most sincere apologies, Love Shibe

Please don’t worry about it! You’ve been really nice to the people you’ve replied to so far, and your health takes priority

 

[Angelofroses]

If it’s alright I guess I’ll rant a little.

Basically for a few years I had this best friend and rp partner not on this site but somewhere else. We talked and roleplayed literally everyday and I’m not even joking haha. Then last month they blocked me. Obviously I was shocked until I found out their mom was the one who blocked me. (I didn’t even learn that from them I had to learn it from someone else -.-)

To be honest I’m very depressed from this. I miss that friend so much but I hate the fact they ignore me now and don’t even wanna bother contacting me on other places. They have forgotten me and moved on pretty fast. I’m starting to think they don’t care that their mother blocked me.

Besides all of that I’m angry that they so active and happy. They don’t care that they hurt me everyday by ignoring me and rping with someone else. My other friends haven’t been helpful they expect me to move on fast already which I can’t.

A mutual friend has been extra ‘helpful’ (that’s sarcasm) they yelled at me to give my friend space and act like my friend is the victim and I did something evil. Newsflash they’re the one ignoring me and not caring that their mother blocked me. Also they act like their mother watches them 24/7 so they can’t talk to me.

I guess what even more hurts is basically they were given an option by their mother ‘Stop talking and rping with me or else their mom will make sure they are cut off from entire online world’. It hurts that they didn’t hesitate to choose other friends over me the person whose been there for them for years and was their constant rp partner. Also it’s been weeks so it makes me angry that they don’t wanna unblock me and they still won’t talk to me.

Makes me feel like I’m someone whose given up easily. Also that friend never apologized for their mother blocking me and isn’t concerned about my wellbeing. She’s acting like a coward because I know if the roles were reversed I would have done everything to contact her but she never did. It sucks that I’m the only one who actually cares about what happened

Just very recently she also deleted our roleplays so that was a huge slap in my face.

I guess here’s also an update.

Today I learned that friend finally apologized but now I find out the only way she can talk to me again is if she moves out of her family’s home. To be honest a part of me is sad about this because that could take years.. and who knows if she will even remember me at that point when she finally moves out. Also I don’t expect a reply back soon since I understand author of this thread is sick so take your time lol.

I don’t know if I should have hope and wait for my friend to hopefully contact me one day or just give up already.

 

[Shibe]

I guess here’s also an update.

Today I learned that friend finally apologized but now I find out the only way she can talk to me again is if she moves out of her family’s home. To be honest a part of me is sad about this because that could take years.. and who knows if she will even remember me at that point when she finally moves out. Also I don’t expect a reply back soon since I understand author of this thread is sick so take your time lol.

I don’t know if I should have hope and wait for my friend to hopefully contact me one day or just give up already.

Hi Angelofroses ! That sounds like a pretty stressful and painful situation that you’re going through, and it’s totally okay to feel sad or hurt about it. You can always have hope that your friend may contact you back one day, but don’t dwell on that thought too much. Although it is good to be hopeful, it’s also healthy to develop new friendships while you’re waiting on this old one to rekindle!

But that doesn’t mean you have to automatically jump into being someone’s friend yet, take some time to heal and care for yourself. I know situations like these can kinda take a major blow to your emotions, be sure to maybe do some things you like right now or spend some time with your family or friends. For right now, you don’t have to give up. You can always have some form of hope.

 

[Shibe]

Man this thread is wonderful. You’re a great person Shibe.
I kinda need to unload something

I have a best friend. The best friend I’ve ever had. We get along really well and talk about pretty much anything. She’s the only friend I’ve felt this comfortable around and the only friend that I feel isn’t just putting up with me to be nice. I feel like she actually wants to talk to me and be friends with me; it’s great.

She lives pretty far away (probably around 700 miles away...) and it’s rare that I get to see her in person. She also has a lot of health issues and is pretty physically weak because of it. Often she struggles and has bad days because of how sick and weak she feels.

This summer has been particularly bad for her. She’s barely been speaking to me between feeling weak and tired all the time, plus having a huge influx of appointments that are taking up almost all her spare time. We used to talk daily but now she goes multiple days at a time without speaking to me.

This doesn’t make me upset or anything - I fully understand what she’s going through (even if I don’t go through the same thing), but it just makes me so worried for her. I’m constantly concerned and I often get upset on her behalf, that she has to suffer so much.

My parents (who are really awesome, kind people) are planning to go on vacation to where my friend lives, and then bring her along on vacation so we can just chill out and have lots of fun together. But as the vacation date gets closer and my friend doesn’t seem to be doing any better, I get increasingly worried.

I feel so irritated with myself for it - like, am I being selfish to worry about the vacation? I’m worried about it because I simply wanted my friend to be able to get out and do something and have fun; I wanted her to be able to take her mind off her illness and appointments, even if it’s only for a short time. Plus of course I wanted to see her in person again and I was excited at the idea of being on a vacation with her. Am I selfish for still hoping she can come and have fun with me? I honestly don’t know anymore.
I just want her to get feeling better and I want to spend some time with her. And I’m upset that she has to feel so sick all the time and struggle so much. Life isn’t fair - but we all knew that already...

Anyway, thank you for letting me vent! Sorry that I rambled for a while there.

Thank you and hi Phoenix! I don’t think you’re at all selfish for caring about your friend, she sounds very dear to you and it’s okay to feel concerned about her wellbeing and wanting her to get better.

I think spending time with you would really make her feel better, but don’t feel bad if she isn’t able to go. Sometimes things just happen, but I’m really sure she would appreciate you thinking about her! If I were in such a situation, I’d seriously want a friend like you.

Worrying about your friend isn’t at all something to feel bad or ashamed about, but I’m more than certain she loves having you on her side and to be there for her.

 

[Shibe]

Hey, so I know you're probably not gonna respond to this for a while (Or maybe not at all), but I gotta say this.

I reconnected with someone from a really old roleplay I was once in. The new roleplay that I reconnected with him in itself didn't ever really take off, but through some OOC chatting and a side 1x1, we became friends. We'd talk about just about anything, and I'd honestly consider him one of the best friends I've ever made throughout my days on the internet. He listened to my junk that he didn't care that much about, and I helped him build up his ideas that I didn't care that much about. It wasn't a perfect friendship, but we made it work.

But the thing is, recently he announced that he was cutting himself off from RPN and Discord to focus on school. That was initially fine, it made sense. He had complained that he was procrastinating and stressed out a lot. But now I'm feeling really lonely and all, I didn't exactly connect with anyone quite the same way I did with him. I want him to do better, but I also just want to talk to my damn friend again. I'm wondering a lot if I'm selfish for wanting the latter statement and how I can make myself not lonely.

Hi FoolsErin ! Feeling lonely or missing a friendship isn’t at all selfish, we as humans naturally crave to be social and wanting to form relationships with others! I definitely understand that you may be feeling out of touch with others since your friend has left social media to better himself.

To cope with loneliness, I just have maybe a couple of suggestions that may or may not help you out. Like maybe learning to do a new skill that involves some hands on work, like knitting, painting, origami, embroidery, or even just kneading some clay! Try reaching out to maybe some of your other friends online and express how you’re feeling, if they’re great friends I’m sure they’ll understand what you’re going through and respect your emotions. Or even set up a time and a place to hang out with your irl friends or even family. Journaling might also help you as well, you can write down a couple of sentences about how you’re feeling and then draw a picture to describe how you’re feeling!

But remember, just because your friend is taking a bit of a break certainly doesn’t mean that it’s the end of your friendship. Think of it as a period of growth for both you and him!

 

[PhoenixMire]

Thank you and hi Phoenix! I don’t think you’re at all selfish for caring about your friend, she sounds very dear to you and it’s okay to feel concerned about her wellbeing and wanting her to get better.

I think spending time with you would really make her feel better, but don’t feel bad if she isn’t able to go. Sometimes things just happen, but I’m really sure she would appreciate you thinking about her! If I were in such a situation, I’d seriously want a friend like you.

Worrying about your friend isn’t at all something to feel bad or ashamed about, but I’m more than certain she loves having you on her side and to be there for her.

Thanks so much, you're too kind - it means a lot c:

 

[dazzling]

Hi Shibe, and before I start ranting (rip) I just gotta say thank you! Means a lot to me

So, I absolutely hate all my irl friends. I've dropped off the face of the earth for several weeks at a time on multiple occasions, and the whole time our group chat is just them talking about their beach vacations and shit. After one of my 'episodes' I came back, right? There were two people on the chat I knew were active. One I had been struggling with for a bit, since all she would do is complain about how her parents don't let her have 8 boyfriends (A story for another time). The other one is alright but I've never been super close with her. So I text a hello and the one I'm not close with responds. I wait for like ten minutes, but no response from 8 boyfriend girl. Then the responding one sends a meme, and 8 boyfriend girl starts texting immediately. That's ok, right? She probably just picked up her phone. But no, she won't even acknowledge me. I would understand if she was upset that I disappeared again, but she seemed super happy considering she sent like 20 pictures from the beach.
And now, a few weeks later, basically everyone else in the group chat (All friends of mine) are constantly talking to her. I tried talking to them once after that but they just all ignored me. I don't know, I'm just feeling a bit done with them right now. Not exactly sure if I'm ready to go back to school in a few weeks.

Sorry if that doesn't make sense haha, it's a bit hard to explain. I'm just really fucking over it ((:

 

[Shibe]

Hi Shibe, and before I start ranting (rip) I just gotta say thank you! Means a lot to me

So, I absolutely hate all my irl friends. I've dropped off the face of the earth for several weeks at a time on multiple occasions, and the whole time our group chat is just them talking about their beach vacations and shit. After one of my 'episodes' I came back, right? There were two people on the chat I knew were active. One I had been struggling with for a bit, since all she would do is complain about how her parents don't let her have 8 boyfriends (A story for another time). The other one is alright but I've never been super close with her. So I text a hello and the one I'm not close with responds. I wait for like ten minutes, but no response from 8 boyfriend girl. Then the responding one sends a meme, and 8 boyfriend girl starts texting immediately. That's ok, right? She probably just picked up her phone. But no, she won't even acknowledge me. I would understand if she was upset that I disappeared again, but she seemed super happy considering she sent like 20 pictures from the beach.
And now, a few weeks later, basically everyone else in the group chat (All friends of mine) are constantly talking to her. I tried talking to them once after that but they just all ignored me. I don't know, I'm just feeling a bit done with them right now. Not exactly sure if I'm ready to go back to school in a few weeks.

Sorry if that doesn't make sense haha, it's a bit hard to explain. I'm just really fucking over it ((:

Hi dazzling ! That certainly doesn’t sound like a fun situation at all, being ignored and feeling left out isn’t at all a nice feeling. But in the kindest way possible, it kinda sounds like you might need some new friends. These guys seem like...butts to say the least.

A good thing I like to use to determine whether or not it’s worth staying friends with someone is by asking myself three questions.

1) Do they say kind things to you?

2) Do they try to include you?

3) Why are they really friends with you?

If you find the answers are negative, or aren’t exactly the greatest. It’s probably time to find some new friends who respect you as a person and don’t ignore you. Friends don’t exactly ignore each other.

Though I wouldn’t recommend telling them off or anything if you want to end the friendship, just kinda disappear and slowly cease communication with them. Then you can go on to form more healthy relations. This method makes it a little easier and less stressful, especially since you may be attending school with them.

Though if you do want to remain friends with them, maybe you could express how you’re feeling about how they’re treating you. Just speak to them in a unaggressive manner that you don’t like being ignored, and that it really makes you not feel good. If they’re good friends, they’ll respect that and maybe try to be a bit more inclusive.

 

[Angelofroses]

Hi Angelofroses ! That sounds like a pretty stressful and painful situation that you’re going through, and it’s totally okay to feel sad or hurt about it. You can always have hope that your friend may contact you back one day, but don’t dwell on that thought too much. Although it is good to be hopeful, it’s also healthy to develop new friendships while you’re waiting on this old one to rekindle!

But that doesn’t mean you have to automatically jump into being someone’s friend yet, take some time to heal and care for yourself. I know situations like these can kinda take a major blow to your emotions, be sure to maybe do some things you like right now or spend some time with your family or friends. For right now, you don’t have to give up. You can always have some form of hope.

Thank you so much for those kind words and advice

 

[Minako]

Oh gosh... I'm not really much of a religious person anymore, but you're seriously doing the Lord's work here with threads like these.

It's rare to see positivity around here, which sounds a bit wrong to say... Because this community isn't GENERALLY negative or anything...?

Anyway, I'm.... Not really one to lay it all out there anymore (because once it's out there, it's... out there, y'know? You can 'delete' it all you want but... it's there. Somewhere... Forever...) but I will say I'm going through a lot of stuff and seeing threads like this meant to help others and stuff really restores my faith in.... well, everything.

It makes my day.

Thanks for this, really!

 

[dazzling]

Hi dazzling ! That certainly doesn’t sound like a fun situation at all, being ignored and feeling left out isn’t at all a nice feeling. But in the kindest way possible, it kinda sounds like you might need some new friends. These guys seem like...butts to say the least.

A good thing I like to use to determine whether or not it’s worth staying friends with someone is by asking myself three questions.

1) Do they say kind things to you?

2) Do they try to include you?

3) Why are they really friends with you?

If you find the answers are negative, or aren’t exactly the greatest. It’s probably time to find some new friends who respect you as a person and don’t ignore you. Friends don’t exactly ignore each other.

Though I wouldn’t recommend telling them off or anything if you want to end the friendship, just kinda disappear and slowly cease communication with them. Then you can go on to form more healthy relations. This method makes it a little easier and less stressful, especially since you may be attending school with them.

Though if you do want to remain friends with them, maybe you could express how you’re feeling about how they’re treating you. Just speak to them in a unaggressive manner that you don’t like being ignored, and that it really makes you not feel good. If they’re good friends, they’ll respect that and maybe try to be a bit more inclusive.

Ahhhh, thank you so much for such a detailed response!! I really appreciate it

Your questions did get me thinking though. I like that system, I think I might steal it ((:
And I agree, maybe it is time to get some new friends...

 

[Shibe]

Oh gosh... I'm not really much of a religious person anymore, but you're seriously doing the Lord's work here with threads like these.

It's rare to see positivity around here, which sounds a bit wrong to say... Because this community isn't GENERALLY negative or anything...?

Anyway, I'm.... Not really one to lay it all out there anymore (because once it's out there, it's... out there, y'know? You can 'delete' it all you want but... it's there. Somewhere... Forever...) but I will say I'm going through a lot of stuff and seeing threads like this meant to help others and stuff really restores my faith in.... well, everything.

It makes my day.

Thanks for this, really!

Hi! And thank you Minako ! It really means a lot that my little project has brought a bit of hope into your heart! Thank you for your support, as it is very much appreciated.

 

[FoolsErin]

Hi FoolsErin ! Feeling lonely or missing a friendship isn’t at all selfish, we as humans naturally crave to be social and wanting to form relationships with others! I definitely understand that you may be feeling out of touch with others since your friend has left social media to better himself.

To cope with loneliness, I just have maybe a couple of suggestions that may or may not help you out. Like maybe learning to do a new skill that involves some hands on work, like knitting, painting, origami, embroidery, or even just kneading some clay! Try reaching out to maybe some of your other friends online and express how you’re feeling, if they’re great friends I’m sure they’ll understand what you’re going through and respect your emotions. Or even set up a time and a place to hang out with your irl friends or even family. Journaling might also help you as well, you can write down a couple of sentences about how you’re feeling and then draw a picture to describe how you’re feeling!

But remember, just because your friend is taking a bit of a break certainly doesn’t mean that it’s the end of your friendship. Think of it as a period of growth for both you and him!

Alright, I appreciate the kindness but um....

1. My friend actually sorta returned on the day you responded?
2. I don't have the patience for any of the skills you listened, trust me.
3. Family beyond my parents and my brother aren't in the same state as me.
4. Most of my IRL friends are busy with summer stuff and can't really hang out with me.
5. I'm pretty sure I specified in my original post that I don't have anyone as good of a friend as him.

Sorry if it's rude, but I'm a nitpicky pessimist who likes to complain, so I kinnnnddaaa had to say it.

;_;

 

[Shibe]

Alright, I appreciate the kindness but um....

1. My friend actually sorta returned on the day you responded?
2. I don't have the patience for any of the skills you listened, trust me.
3. Family beyond my parents and my brother aren't in the same state as me.
4. Most of my IRL friends are busy with summer stuff and can't really hang out with me.
5. I'm pretty sure I specified in my original post that I don't have anyone as good of a friend as him.

Sorry if it's rude, but I'm a nitpicky pessimist who likes to complain, so I kinnnnddaaa had to say it.

;_;

Hey! That’s totally okay! It doesn’t really bother me. As long as you’re alright.

 

[Shibe]

I would like to sincerely apologize though to those I took a while to respond to, I didn’t intend to be absent for such a long time.

I caught pneumonia and was in the bed for quite a bit, and now I’m running back and forth to doctors to have my jaw and its joints looked at. Yesterday I had to have a splint and a bite guard made in the same day, and take a sleep apnea test last night. Then had to get an x-ray today.

But either than that, I’m doing quite well and am happy to be back and share some positivity with you all.

Much love, Shibe​

 

[WolfSol]

I normally would unleash the word vomit that is constantly on my mind, but I wish to break the montony of sad or stressful things... This may not make sense to some (perhaps no one), but:

I no longer let my insecurity drive me to go to the gym. My eating disorder is nowhere near where it used to be. Sure, I gained what I had lost, and although some of that weight is due to muscle weight from weight lifting... I do not feel that anxiety of how much food I ate. Yes, I have my moments, and it gets hard... But when I realized how much more relaxed I was, I was thankful for once in the two years that I'd gone through a terrible friend fallout that I no longer had someone comparing themselves outwardly to me.

I had never realized how toxic it was to have someone compare their weight and size to me. I had never realized how toxic attention to my insecurity of weight and size was. I had friends that would compare each other, and friends that encouraged bad eating disorders (not eating near enough). Now that I've cut people out of my life and took a step back to accept myself, to taste food (everything used to taste like cardboard), and to go to the gym because I want to let out some steam, because I want to be stronger rather than simply skinnier... It's nice.

Does that mean that I'm cured of body dysmorphia or whatever you want to call an insecurity over how one viewa themselves? Hell no. But it's nowhere near as bad as it had been, and that makes me happy.

 

[PhoenixMire]

I would like to sincerely apologize though to those I took a while to respond to, I didn’t intend to be absent for such a long time.

I caught pneumonia and was in the bed for quite a bit, and now I’m running back and forth to doctors to have my jaw and its joints looked at. Yesterday I had to have a splint and a bite guard made in the same day, and take a sleep apnea test last night. Then had to get an x-ray today.

But either than that, I’m doing quite well and am happy to be back and share some positivity with you all.

Much love, Shibe​

Please don't worry about it! You've been amazing to all the people on this thread so far, and you deserve rest and relaxation too. Hopefully you're doing okay!

 

[Shibe]

I normally would unleash the word vomit that is constantly on my mind, but I wish to break the montony of sad or stressful things... This may not make sense to some (perhaps no one), but:

I no longer let my insecurity drive me to go to the gym. My eating disorder is nowhere near where it used to be. Sure, I gained what I had lost, and although some of that weight is due to muscle weight from weight lifting... I do not feel that anxiety of how much food I ate. Yes, I have my moments, and it gets hard... But when I realized how much more relaxed I was, I was thankful for once in the two years that I'd gone through a terrible friend fallout that I no longer had someone comparing themselves outwardly to me.

I had never realized how toxic it was to have someone compare their weight and size to me. I had never realized how toxic attention to my insecurity of weight and size was. I had friends that would compare each other, and friends that encouraged bad eating disorders (not eating near enough). Now that I've cut people out of my life and took a step back to accept myself, to taste food (everything used to taste like cardboard), and to go to the gym because I want to let out some steam, because I want to be stronger rather than simply skinnier... It's nice.

Does that mean that I'm cured of body dysmorphia or whatever you want to call an insecurity over how one viewa themselves? Hell no. But it's nowhere near as bad as it had been, and that makes me happy.

Hi WolfSol ! I just want to say I’m so proud of you, I know the journey you’ve went on. As I’m kinda going through that too. But I am so happy to hear that your health has improved both mentally and physically.

I’m sure the future will be bright and amazing for you, much love from me! :3

 

[LocoMetal]

I'll share my 2 cents (Canadian). Buckle up because this is a ride. Ends on a note I'd share with the world.


At the beginning of the year I suffered the greatest loss I've ever known. It's the kind that makes you ask questions, those "what if's". You know, the destructive type. The two months prior were the happiest months my nihilistic ass would come to know without even realizing it.

7 years ago I adopted the nihilistic perspective after an accident that affected my physical health permanently. Nihilism helped in certain ways. I let go of hate completely (except for when I'm playing up a character for my friends entertainment). I let go of caring about myself to an extent. For me, life had no value, no sense, no answer. "One day I'll die. I'll be forgotten" so, like every nihilist I asked myself "what's the point?".

I know! it's super dark! But trust me here, this goes in a nice direction soon.

"What's the point" defined me. If there is none then I might as well lay down and wait. Well that's fuggin stupid. Instead of that I started to look for my own answer because nobody is going to say "this is the answer to life". I begun to observe my family. What motivates them: Their kids. Me, my brother, my sister and their kids. Well, I don't have kids so that ended pretty fast. Move to my friends. Ok, so they enjoy this, they enjoy that. Makes them happy. Aha! It's so simple yet I was blind to it.

It was happiness. That simple concept. I'm so god damn terrified of dying that my own mortality is always at the front of my mind and it scares me but others don't have to be. I can make them smile and laugh. I can be that little bit of joy they just might need on a shitty day. So, for the past 7 years that was me. I was the funny guy of the group. The guy who'd be the entertainer. Everything I'd do and still do is for the sake of entertainment. To make people laugh and keep the invading negative emotions at bay for as long as I can.

Then something happened. I didn't notice it until it was too late. I had this weird feeling. I wasn't scared about thinking of tomorrow. Of next week. Of next month. Of 3 years from now. Actually, I really liked thinking about the future. I loved making plans! The looming fear of my own mortality was overpowered. I didn't notice it because it was so foreign to me.
-It's like.... you know how when you're walking down a flight of stairs and you think there's one more step so you step down only to find there isn't... so your brain does this whole "Well, it was a good life. Ciao, world" until you do realize you're on solid ground? It was similar to that.

*I was happy because my friends were happy. If they weren't I wasn't and who doesn't want to be happy save for Oscar the Grouch? It turns out I tricked myself. For 6 years I tricked myself. I wasn't actually happy. I was content. I lied to myself and told myself "this is happiness". How did I know I lied to myself? Because it was after those two moths I realized I was happy for myself for once. True, honest happiness. Then it was gone. No warning. Like a sadistic prank.

You know what happens when you take away a drug from a drug addict? Yeah, they go batshit for awhile. I was looking at life in a far worse way. I felt as though somebody gave me a pair of glasses and I saw the real ugliness I couldn't see before. I reserved judgement for close friends. I thought ill about them because they weren't doing this or that, or they'd do this when that's just wrong. They wouldn't accept my help when I tried to help them. Took me too long to realize it was me who had changed. They were all still them but I wasn't me, it was just easier to blame others for my problems. I fell into such a basic mindset that I'm embarrassed to admit I left myself go there. It was selfishness. "I'm suffering, why don't my friends care?" Well, they do, idiot, but they have problems of their own and can't be giving me all of their attention all day. I'm not the main character in this story.

Knowing all of that I'll end it here on this final note. What's the point? Happiness, yes, but before that comes self care.
Again, I realized too late that I was happy for myself. Why? Because I didn't like myself. I kept trying to be the funny guy and make others happy. I'd bet money that those "what if" questions would still haunt me had I not been open about what I was feeling.

Love yourself. Love yourself and realize that you can be open to your friends about anything. They love you. Understand that you impact them in such a positive way and they might not realize it. You don't need to point it out. Just smile and know they're going to be ok because they have you in their life. You know they'll come to you for support as you would them. You're not the main character in this story but you are important so be the first person to ask them how their day is. Ask them if they need a hand with anything. Such a smiple question can make a bad day much more tolerable.
Kinda like how Shibe is doing with this thread, actually. Everybody needs a Shibe in their life.

Alright I'll end it there but holy hell I could rant on about how people just need to love. And that is the most hippie shit I'll ever say in my god damn life. But it's the truth.