Experiences Share your GM Frustrations !!

[SilverBlack]

For those of you who GM-ed roleplays before or are GM-ing one or more now, I'm pretty sure there are times when you come across problems that you gotta deal with in your own roleplay.

One of the biggest one I personally experienced before (but is my own fault cause I didn't try hard enough to keep it up) and what others have experienced plenty too is that nobody ends up replying so you watch it just slowly die. Feel free to share your frustrations on this too, but all other types of problems are welcome. Other common problems I know is that none of the people are contributing, or too dependent on you, not listening to what you're saying etc etc. Feel free to rant all about it. I'm all ears.

What are some problems that have happened in your roleplay before that you have to deal with? How did you deal with them?

We know that when drama erupts inside the roleplay, aside from the moderators of the site itself to come solve the problem after it escalates so far, many times the responsibility falls upon you the GM (and co-GM if you have one) to solve it. Are you used to it? Still new?

How do you handle roleplayers who are not keeping up with the roleplay, or is ruining it (be it your own opinion or actually happening), and have you turned down roleplayers before they even joined, for what reasons? Do you have to kick them out eventually?

Do you consider yourself a good GM?

Personally, I am one who is still learning and growing. I'm proud that I've kept my roleplay up to ten pages so far and that it's still going. I'm fortunate to be with a group of people who don't have much problems or cause drama and are all creative with their characters and imagination and contribute to the roleplay. Sometimes it's really by chance or luck. My happiness now also reminded me of the contrast it formed with my experiences in the past when I'm still too noob to be a GM.

Share with me stories of your GM experience and any frustrations you experienced as a GM!!

(Really, I'm just bored and want to read people's experience haha.)

 

[Crayons]

Oh interesting ... there are many but I'm going to put the main ones:

1) Having to deal with people when they submit CSes or character concepts that are way out of the ballpark. It's tiring even when the person doesn't constantly try to fight with you, but when they do it's just life-draining. In one roleplay a guy wanted to join who was a friend of one of the other players, and he kept insisting that his character should be some super-high rank in the military and have hundreds of npc soldiers at his command. Every time I said no and tried to help him to think of something else, he just slightly reduced the number of soldiers he wanted until I just said no, period.

2) Players who ask you what their character should do all the time. Now, maybe if you run heavily plot driven RPs this isn't so much of a problem, but when I run RPs, I expect people to take initiative and have their character do things that their character would do, given a certain scenario, and actually contribute to the story. Please, people, have SOME idea of what your character would do given a scenario they are presented with. With these players, I really can't be arsed with them if I try to help them by making suggestions and they just ... reject all of them or go quiet. I'm not your mom, make your own damn decisions.

 

[Crow]

Oh yeah, this one time this guy submitted an app that was very unqualified and I rejected it then he started raving because his application was very decorated in CC code and all that and said that it was because of his effort that he should be accepted.

Even though I explained why I was rejecting him.

He didn't even make changes, it seemed like he didn't want to make changes no matter how hard I budged.

And then this other guy who just said 'meh' or 'yeah yeah whatever' when a GM asked him to correct his post and he doesn't, the things he was asked to correct still in his next post. He also partakes in combat roleplays but gets enraged when his character gets hit a single bit, and also seethes a lot when his attacks don't connect. He's also a hypocrite. Thankfully I only GM'd an RP with him like once or twice.

I might have one or two more stories.

 

[nerdy tangents]

So it’s been quite a while and I did my group work on another site. So the first key difference is they didn’t really have site mods. I mean technically they did but the site mods didn’t really interact with users much beyond dealing with onsite currency or like website bugs.

They didn’t moderate disputes or content or anything like that. It was entirely down to the GM and their own roleplay mods to handle that.

So I would usually do the roleplay mod role because I had a fairly standard schedule and I don’t mind keeping people on task.

One particular group of roleplays that I remember was a shared universe between three different roleplays. I ran one by myself but the other two I was just the mod for.

well we had one player who was very much of the “rules don’t apply to me” mindset. Always asking for exceptions to the rules or complaining about how they roleplay one specific way (ex. In first person) and it’s not fair to make them change for the roleplay.

And it was just exhausting. Like it’s one thing if your in a 1x1 and your partner isn’t willing to compromise. But when your in a group of like five people and your the one person doing your own thing. Well your kinda the problem.

I eventually went to the GM of the roleplays and was like : look I did my best but this person is just being disruptive and making things unfair for everyone else. We need to ban them from the roleplays.

 

[Grey]

Seeing as you're new, you might find this useful: Tutorial - Techniques For Running An RP

I have thankfully never, ever had to worry about drama in my RPs.
Players do flake out a lot and it's very common for games to stall, to die, but I get some wonderfully inventive moments from players sometimes. Especially when they pick up exactly the vibe I'm laying down - from the player whose character showed up to a murder investigation in a cushioned palanquin, smoking a pipe, surrounded by servants, to the one who turned to mist, allowed themselves to be inhaled by a monster, and then cut their way out.

 

[SilverBlack]

1) Having to deal with people when they submit CSes or character concepts that are way out of the ballpark. It's tiring even when the person doesn't constantly try to fight with you, but when they do it's just life-draining. In one roleplay a guy wanted to join who was a friend of one of the other players, and he kept insisting that his character should be some super-high rank in the military and have hundreds of npc soldiers at his command. Every time I said no and tried to help him to think of something else, he just slightly reduced the number of soldiers he wanted until I just said no, period.

I feel you on this! I usually hope that when people submit their CS, everyone submit ones that only have minor problems that can be fixed or can be accepted straight away. My flaw is that I'm not even that good with talking with people, especially when what i'm saying might upset them. So when I saw CS that just have too big of a problem, I get all troubled! This is more of a case when the roleplay still needs people too and I just want people to join. I used to even just take the risk and just let him/her in too. When they constantly fight with you is the most frustrating part! Sometimes, I see some potential in the CS but there's just major big flaws that really needs to be changed. But then they'd feel like you're forcing them to alter their characters. >_>

What you went through must've been so annoying. u_u I did eventually learn that when dealing with those people I really have to just give a hard "no." My past experience of caving in to the person really ended up ruining the roleplay after all. I'm still learning though, I'm terrible at rejecting people without being scared that I'm pissing them off aaah.

2) Players who ask you what their character should do all the time. Now, maybe if you run heavily plot driven RPs this isn't so much of a problem, but when I run RPs, I expect people to take initiative and have their character do things that their character would do, given a certain scenario, and actually contribute to the story. Please, people, have SOME idea of what your character would do given a scenario they are presented with. With these players, I really can't be arsed with them if I try to help them by making suggestions and they just ... reject all of them or go quiet. I'm not your mom, make your own damn decisions.

Gah, I've never really faced that problem myself before but man, it reminds me of the time when I'm GM-ing or when I'm just in a roleplay that's more free-versed (not heavily plot) and the character just does nothing. No contribution, no interactions, while the other people are moving the roleplay along. One time I remembered more closely is when they proceeded to complain that nobody's interacting with him/her or bringing him/her along the flow of the roleplay. Main part is the character is really shy and really introverted, and is the type who shy away from/ reject any interactions. The characters in that roleplay all happen to be the type who will kind of be out-of-character if they suddenly go all out to try and involve the introverted character. There's no major events or things happening in the roleplay yet too that'd serve as outside-factors to force interactions. The person with the character ended up quitting, and the GM himself didn't know what to do. I would've been lost on what to do too, tbh. u_u On your part though, exactly! I feel like you can't rely just on others for the roleplay, you gotta figure out ways to involve yourself and contribute too. If you just want others to think for you then doesn't that takes away the fun in roleplaying? Aaaah. That sucks. ><

Oh yeah, this one time this guy submitted an app that was very unqualified and I rejected it then he started raving because his application was very decorated in CC code and all that and said that it was because of his effort that he should be accepted.

Even though I explained why I was rejecting him.

He didn't even make changes, it seemed like he didn't want to make changes no matter how hard I budged.

akfjaskdfjasl;df I'm terrible at dealing with those types of people. I saw people putting so much effort into a CS that unfortunately also shows that he/she doesn't even look through the roleplay itself to see if the character is actually suitable for it. I hope the rejection was successful. I also hate it when they did agree to make changes but only made like a small minor part so you ended up just keep DM-ing him/her back and forth until that person got annoyed more than you and called it quit before you even reject him heh.

So it’s been quite a while and I did my group work on another site. So the first key difference is they didn’t really have site mods. I mean technically they did but the site mods didn’t really interact with users much beyond dealing with onsite currency or like website bugs.

They didn’t moderate disputes or content or anything like that. It was entirely down to the GM and their own roleplay mods to handle that.

First of all safjslkdfj I've never tried GM-ing on other sites. I love the site mods here, they really helped solve a couple of problems that escalated in the past. So just GM-ing somewhere else sounds hard to me. >< That does sound a lot harder, gucci to you for modding somewhere else haha.

well we had one player who was very much of the “rules don’t apply to me” mindset. Always asking for exceptions to the rules or complaining about how they roleplay one specific way (ex. In first person) and it’s not fair to make them change for the roleplay.

I had to face someone similar to that in the past. It's annoying because they make it so that the roleplay has to change for his/her sake. it's good that you talked to the GM about it and I hoped the GM took good actions. For me, aha, I was the terrible GM who practically didn't know how to handle with situations like that before and the roleplay ended up dying. Welps! But I definitely feel you.

Players do flake out a lot and it's very common for games to stall, to die, but I get some wonderfully inventive moments from players sometimes. Especially when they pick up exactly the vibe I'm laying down - from the player whose character showed up to a murder investigation in a cushioned palanquin, smoking a pipe, surrounded by servants, to the one who turned to mist, allowed themselves to be inhaled by a monster, and then cut their way out.

Thank you for the useful information!
And that's very fortunate of you to never have experienced drama! I believe that kind of depends on luck then--and well yeah, how well the GM took care of the situation (which I was pretty bad yet)! Regarding roleplay itself, definitely, some just eventually die as players flake out, but I'm definitely experiencing what you said right now too where the roleplay just gathered the right group of people and is seemingly lasting because everyone just going along with the right vibe and contributing, so I'm hoping this one lasts--and if it doesn't I'd have definitely learned a lot from it. Thanks again for the link though, I'd definitely check it out! :3

 

[Delinquent]

When people include stuff in their characters backstory that has a drastic effect on your worldbuilding and any future plot without talking to you first.

 

[Becker]

I always find it quite funny whenever someone posts a character with a backstory that's completely pointless and unrelated in regards to the context of the story/theme.

Ah yes, a U.S Ranger Sergeant with 6 tours of duty under his belt and several hundred confirmed kills.. but this is a slice of life RP.. not fucking D-Day... ​

 

[SilverBlack]

I always find it quite funny whenever someone posts a character with a backstory that's completely pointless and unrelated in regards to the context of the story/theme.

Ah yes, a U.S Ranger Sergeant with 6 tours of duty under his belt and several hundred confirmed kills.. but this is a slice of life RP.. not fucking D-Day... ​

That happens so many times! I always try to see if that backstory ends up actually becoming an relevant throughout the roleplay...did it?

 

[Becker]

That happens so many times! I always try to see if that backstory ends up actually becoming an relevant throughout the roleplay...did it?

They never do...

​

 

[M.J. Saulnier]

I always find it quite funny whenever someone posts a character with a backstory that's completely pointless and unrelated in regards to the context of the story/theme.

Ah yes, a U.S Ranger Sergeant with 6 tours of duty under his belt and several hundred confirmed kills.. but this is a slice of life RP.. not fucking D-Day... ​

It's exacerbated when they are genuinely clueless and try to lean into the bit the entire time. RP is becoming less about story telling and more about spontaneous, ultimately meaningless character interaction with each passing year. Most people reuse the same OCs, using RP projects as little more than door mats to experiment and mold characters.

...then he started raving because his application was very decorated in CC code and all that and said that it was because of his effort that he should be accepted.

 

[Chordling]

I have so many other ideas I want to GM, and I want to start planning for all of them right now, but I am being good. One of my roleplays just started and I don't want to neglect it.

 

[M.J. Saulnier]

Not counting derailments and extreme circumstances amid failed projects, my biggest frustrations would have to be poor creative choices and the blurred line between liking your creative space and throwing hissy fits because you can't have your way. Players have become insanely self-centered on an almost sub-conscious level. They need to feel as though both they and their character have at least one hand on that wheel at all times, or so help 'em god, they are GONE. We all value our precious free time, but I remember when an RP wasn't essentially a death race to determine the One True Main Character. It's why projects die, and why people ghost out.


But aside from all of that extreme shit, speaking in terms of healthy projects that I've taken the distance as a GM (or close to); it would have to be the character death problem. I always found it hilarious how for the entire RP players will quit before they allow their character to die. But the moment you offer up a chance for someone to die gloriously as a hero and martyr, it's like watching a pack of starving, feral dogs set upon a three-legged pig. They will argue, write essays in the OOC detailing why it should be their character. They'll tear your inbox to pieces, buttering you up, bribes promising eternal love, spots in their RPs, etc.

It's just wild.

 

[Crow]

But aside from all of that extreme shit, speaking in terms of healthy projects that I've taken the distance as a GM (or close to); it would have to be the character death problem. I always found it hilarious how for the entire RP players will quit before they allow their character to die.

Usually I see people put up warnings on death possibility in RPs, since people have a problem with that, so these days it's more of a 'you didn't read the goddamn fine print' thing.

 

[M.J. Saulnier]

Usually I see people put up warnings on death possibility in RPs, since people have a problem with that, so these days it's more of a 'you didn't read the goddamn fine print' thing.

We all get that (I've rarely seen it). What I'm suggesting is, if you put your character in a bubble of immortality, don't step up to be the one who infiltrates the enemy base to do that super dangerous, suicide mission task.. Part of the frustration is, no one dies. Ever. So despite LOADED situations they are sent into, they worm out of them all, often with the dumbest writing and npc nurfing.

You don't really get both. Either you stay in the vehicle and never get injured, wounded or die, or you get your hands dirty as an artist once in a while.

 

[M.J. Saulnier]

The reason I quit RP is because a single conversation broke the part of me that was fulfilled by doing this. What we are talking about reminds me of it a lot.

I was doing an RP with a young woman. I thought her character was pretty good for the age indicted by her profile, the maturity in the presentation of her account, and her join date on that site, so I accepted her. Well into the RP, after 2 of the original 9 had ghosted, and 3 new people had joined - I mean we were nearing the end - we were in an OOC conversation together about the plot and the options we had at hand. Just brainstorming together. Anyway after talking for a while I finally threw it out. My character could kill her instead of us finding some weird complicated way for her to escape (she should never have been there but had a character need should refused to let go, however suicidal. She just had to see her npc sister in the villain stronghold). I explained that we were primed for an emotional, beyond perfect death scene, and I explained to her how I'd do it to make it beautiful and nice for her, and even give some startling depth to that particular villain OC of mine.

Her next reply was literally:

"But what would be the point of the roleplay if my character dies?"


I didn't know how to respond without seeming - or even being - too damn blunt. I took a night to even reply. I thought about it and asked her.

"What's been the point of the RP for you so far?"

Her response was a short paragraph about her character, then she said if the OC died in this RP, she'd feel too weird about using it again, which was the whole point of the OC.


I walked that day. Never been back to that site. It killed that part of me that got reward from rping with other people. Now I see it everywhere. It couldn't be more indicative of the standard.

 

[Zer0]

Ghosting. The hope that you have that dies when they just don't reply and you realize, you've waited for nothing. So hard to trust people after that.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Ghosting. The hope that you have that dies when they just don't reply and you realize, you've waited for nothing. So hard to trust people after that.

I found an active OOC helps with this. Get them making friends among themselves and not just popping in solely to drop off a character and post.

Also having very specific requirements with posting helps. Because a lot of ghosting (well what isn’t just IRL which you can’t control) is people being intimidated in social scenarios.

So giving them a clear out without them having to contact you directly is incredibly helpful.

Something like - if you don’t post for two weeks your character will be written out of the action.

It gives them a time period but it also gives them some breathing room to come back. Versus if you just kill the character off.

 

[Daisie]

I didn't know how to respond without seeming - or even being - too damn blunt. I took a night to even reply. I thought about it and asked her.

"What's been the point of the RP for you so far?"

Her response was a short paragraph about her character, then she said if the OC died in this RP, she'd feel too weird about using it again, which was the whole point of the OC.

Big... Big oof.
I understand everyone RPs for their own reasons, but this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. It's so strange that someone's ENTIRE reason for being in a RP is their own character. At that point, why are you even roleplaying? You can just as easily explore that character via means that don't include other people. Write a book or something, at the very least a few short stories. I don't get it.

There is so much more value in a character death than just ending someone's stay. The drama, the emotion, the adverse effects of the other characters in the RP, the introduction of the idea that "Oh crap, this is really getting serious!"

If I was given the chance to kill off any of my characters in the most perfect and climactic way possible, you bet I'd take it in a heartbeat. I'm sorry, but I really can't imagine putting my singular OC on a pillar above the content and storytelling of the RP... Especially for something as odd as "feeling too weird about using them again". I just don't get that.

 

[Delinquent]

I'm sorry, but I really can't imagine putting my singular OC on a pillar above the content and storytelling of the RP... [...]

To be fair, I don't think that not wanting your character killed of is quite the same as "putting your oc on a piller above the content and storytelling of the rp".

 

[Daisie]

To be fair, I don't think that not wanting your character killed of is quite the same as "putting your oc on a piller above the content and storytelling of the rp".

I get where you're coming from, but it's not the fact that they didn't want their character to be killed off that was the issue for me. It was the bit I quoted:

"What's been the point of the RP for you so far?"

Her response was a short paragraph about her character, then she said if the OC died in this RP, she'd feel too weird about using it again, which was the whole point of the OC.

That specific bit kind of implies that they do put their character on a pedestal above the rest of the RP, since she's saying that to her, the whole point of the RP was her OC. I understand not wanting to kill off a character, but I think the explanation for it is a bit off.
Sorry if that was confusing!

 

[M.J. Saulnier]

Sorry if that was confusing!

Not at all confusing.

Her not wanting to die was just what happened to lead to the revelation that she didn't care about the story at all, not to mention the other characters. And her logic really did place that OC over the project and story.

 

[Zer0]

I found an active OOC helps with this. Get them making friends among themselves and not just popping in solely to drop off a character and post.

Also having very specific requirements with posting helps. Because a lot of ghosting (well what isn’t just IRL which you can’t control) is people being intimidated in social scenarios.

So giving them a clear out without them having to contact you directly is incredibly helpful.

Something like - if you don’t post for two weeks your character will be written out of the action.

It gives them a time period but it also gives them some breathing room to come back. Versus if you just kill the character off.

But doesn't that perhaps seem intimidating to potential new players? Like maybe they'll feel like they are obligated or something before they get to know the rp and the people there to be able to make a decision whether they're willing to be that active for them. I actually have this rule in my rp:

" Let me know if you want the story to move along, not be able to reply for awhile, want to leave, or if you're having trouble with another player, etc. I’m all ears. That said, do not hold up the story. Write your character out of the scene if you sense that you'll be making people wait a long time. "

But most of the time people don't follow it. I want to still welcome them to the rp, but I want to draw the line too without like giving them an obligation before they get to know the rp and the people there. Or . . . is stating that time limit really better, because of yeah, the intimidation of telling me no matter how nice and gentle I am in stating it in the rules?

 

[nerdy tangents]

But doesn't that perhaps seem intimidating to potential new players? Like maybe they'll feel like they are obligated or something before they get to know the rp and the people there to be able to make a decision whether they're willing to be that active for them. I actually have this rule in my rp:

" Let me know if you want the story to move along, not be able to reply for awhile, want to leave, or if you're having trouble with another player, etc. I’m all ears. That said, do not hold up the story. Write your character out of the scene if you sense that you'll be making people wait a long time. "

But most of the time people don't follow it. I want to still welcome them to the rp, but I want to draw the line too without like giving them an obligation before they get to know the rp and the people there. Or . . . is stating that time limit really better, because of yeah, the intimidation of telling me no matter how nice and gentle I am in stating it in the rules?

No I didn’t find it to be particularly intimidating to players. Mind I managed what they called “lit” on my old site roleplays. So it was like three paragraph minimums and the time limit was two times the post requirement in the rules.

So if the requirement was you post once a week then you have two weeks to post before your character is written out. If it’s every other day than you had four days.

In addition there was the idea that you would be active in the OOC so it made it more likely that you would tell someone of any planned absences even if it wasn’t GM.

 

[Zer0]

No I didn’t find it to be particularly intimidating to players. Mind I managed what they called “lit” on my old site roleplays. So it was like three paragraph minimums and the time limit was two times the post requirement in the rules.

So if the requirement was you post once a week then you have two weeks to post before your character is written out. If it’s every other day than you had four days.

In addition there was the idea that you would be active in the OOC so it made it more likely that you would tell someone of any planned absences even if it wasn’t GM.

Okay. If you don't mind me asking, how did you write that written out rule?