Seoulsearchers [reboot]

[goldleaf]

1x1 between sharktrashcan and goldleaf
(i'll try to make this prettier later)​

 

[sharktrashcan]

I don't even think you like boys​

Basics

Name ;; Chan Hwan-So "SoSo"


Age ;; 22 years old


Gender ;; Male


Sexuality ;; Closeted Homosexual


Race ;; Korean


Zodiac ;; Cancer, July 15th

Family

Parents ;; Chan Eun-jeong [mother], Ha-jun [father]


Siblings ;; Haneul [12 Sister] Hyeon-Jeong [12 Brother]


Pets ;; Wants a hedgehog

Physical features

Hair Color ;; Black, dyed Pink


Eyes Color ;; Dark Brown


Height ;; 5'7" 170 cm


Weight ;; 145 lbs 65 kg


Body type ;; Slim


Outfit/ Style ;; Pastels, 'Boho/ Hippie', Flower print


Limitations/ Scars ;; Faint scars from constantly falling during practice

Tattoos/ Peircings ;; a small rainbow flag on his upper rib cage he hides with makeup


Strengths ;; Excellent swimmer, good hugs

Other

Favorite activity ;; Singing, fan service with group members


A wish or dream ;; To become a primary school teacher/ retire


One thing that makes your character laugh ;; The manake line


Fears or Phobias ;; Failure, rejection and homophobia


Something they’d never do ;; sleep with a stranger


A secret ;; They have never dated or kissed anyone


Quirks and Habits ;; Hums and sings to himself, taps or moves his leg constantly.

Mental

+ Traits ;; Energetic, focused, good with kids, passionate, empathetic, caring, romantic


- Traits ;; Romantic, selfless, insomniac, forgets to care for himself, clumsy, uncoordinated, flusters easily, bottles up emotions, anxious


Likes ;; Working with kids, art, music, writing, video games


Dislikes ;; Loud sudden sounds, personal questions, jump scares, intense fans


Favorite food ;; Korean barbecue pork


Known languages ;; Korean, some english


Hobbies ;; Doodling, writing


Guilty Pleasure ;; Kdramas and cheesy romance stories

Relationships

Eun-jae (24) ;; Main rapper, and lead dancer. Secret Crush

Su-jin (24) ;; Main dancer, lead vocalist. Close/ Best friend, often shipped with

Hwan-so (22) ;; Leader, sub-vocalist. Used to be main vocalist

Haneul (21) ;; Lead rapper. Friend Maknae

Ye-jun (20) ;; Main vocalist, main dancer. Friend Maknae

Aroon (19) ;; Lead vocalist, sub-rapper. Protege/ Leader in training Maknae

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] width: 330px; background: #eee6ff; margin: auto; padding-top: 20px; padding-bottom: 20px; [/class] [class name=Container maxWidth=375px] width: calc(100% - 40px); position: relative; [/class] [class=TopInfo] height: 155px; width: 290px; background: #fff; margin: auto; border: 1px solid #ccc; [/class] [class name=TopInfo maxWidth=375px] width: calc(100% - 40px); height: 115px; position: relative; [/class] [class=Image] height: 130px; width: 130px; background: url('https://i.pinimg.com/736x/51/f3/72/51f3720873cb602bebaf35550dbc06f2.jpg'); background-size: 120%; background-position: 50% 30%; border: 1px solid #fff; position: relative; left: 10px; top: 10px; [/class] [class name=Image maxWidth=375px] width: 90px; height: 90px; [/class] [class=Box1] width: 80px; height: 25px; background: #fff; border: 1px solid #ccc; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -110px; left: 45px; [/class] [class name=Box1 maxWidth=375px] width: 70px; height: 20px; top: -75px; left: 35px; [/class] [class=Box2] width: 25px; height: 25px; border: 1px solid #ccc; background: #fff; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -137px; left: 110px; [/class] [class name=Box2 maxWidth=375px] width: 20px; height: 20px; top: -97px; left: 90px; [/class] [class=Box3] width: 25px; height: 25px; border: 1px solid #ccc; background: #fff; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -129px; left: 18px; [/class] [class name=Box3 maxWidth=375px] width: 20px; height: 20px; top: -92px; left: 10px; [/class] [class=Box4] width: 80px; height: 25px; border: 1px solid #ccc; background: #fff; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -156px; left: 82px; [/class] [class name=Box4 maxWidth=375px] width: 70px; height: 20px; top: -114px; left: 65px; [/class] [class=Box5] width: 116px; height: 25px; border: 1px solid #ccc; background: #fff; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -146px; left: 63px; [/class] [class name=Box5 maxWidth=375px] width: 100px; height: 20px; top: -109px; left: 50px; [/class] [class=InfoText] font-size: 10px; color: #666; text-align: center; text-transform: uppercase; position: relative; top: 5px; [/class] [class name=InfoText maxWidth=375px] font-size: 9px; top: 3px; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 135px; width: 290px; background: #fff; margin: auto; margin-top: 15px; border: 1px solid #ccc; [/class] [class name=MainBox maxWidth=375px] width: calc(100% - 40px); [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 115px; width: 270px; position: relative; top: 8px; margin: auto; overflow: hidden; [/class] [class name=Overflow maxWidth=375px] width: calc(100% - 40px); [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; text-align: justify; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: 'lao ui', calibri, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; text-align: justify; text-transform: uppercase; letter-spacing: .4px; margin: 5px 0px; color: #666; line-height: 11px; [/class] [class name=MainText maxWidth=375px] font-size: 9px; [/class] [class=Tag] font-weight: bold; display: inline-block; [/class] [class=BottomBox] height: 61px; width: 290px; background: transparent; margin: auto; margin-top: 15px; border: 1px solid transparent; [/class] [class name=BottomBox maxWidth=375px] width: calc(100% - 40px); height: 49px; [/class] [class=Box6] width: 95px; height: 25px; background: #fff; border: 1px solid #ccc; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -1px; left: -97px; [/class] [class name=Box6 maxWidth=375px] width: 85px; height: 20px; top: -1px; left: -59px; [/class] [class=Box7] width: 80px; height: 25px; background: #fff; border: 1px solid #ccc; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -28px; left: 1px; [/class] [class name=Box7 maxWidth=375px] width: 75px; height: 20px; top: -23px; left: 30px; [/class] [class=Box8] width: 30px; height: 25px; border: 1px solid #ccc; background: #fff; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -55px; left: 68px; [/class] [class name=Box8 maxWidth=375px] width: 25px; height: 20px; top: -45px; left: 89px; [/class] [class=Box9] width: 50px; height: 25px; border: 1px solid #ccc; background: #fff; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -82px; left: 120px; [/class] [class name=Box9 maxWidth=375px] width: 45px; height: 20px; top: -38px; left: -60px; [/class] [class=Box10] width: 120px; height: 25px; border: 1px solid #ccc; background: #fff; margin: auto; position: relative; top: -73px; left: 0px; [/class] [class name=Box10 maxWidth=375px] width: 110px; height: 20px; top: -60px; left: 27px; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [class name=Credit maxWidth=375px] font-size: 9px; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=TopInfo] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Box1][div class=InfoText]park eun-jae[/div][/div] [div class=Box2][div class=InfoText]m[/div][/div] [div class=Box3][div class=InfoText]24[/div][/div] [div class=Box4][div class=InfoText]pansexual[/div][/div] [div class=Box5][div class=InfoText]south korean[/div][/div] [/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText] [div class=Tag]HISTORY[/div] Eun-jae was born and raised in Gwangju, his parents' first and only child. Growing up, he was just like any other kid. There wasn't really anything special about him. He always talked about how he wanted to be a famous rapper when he grew up, but so did most of his friends. It was all just childish fantasies. Still, he loved music and would often attempt to compose and record songs simply for the fun of it. It wasn't until later in life, around the age of 14, that Eun-jae actually decided to go for it. He started by having his friends listen to his music, and then went on to attend competitions and perform for his classmates. By 16, he was underground rapping. He had gotten a lot of practice and feedback, and he felt like he was on the right path. It was just before his 17th birthday when he went to audition for his current label. Ultimately, he was turned away, due to his lack of skill in any other department. But instead of getting discouraged, he told his parents he wanted to take dance lessons. Six months later, he auditioned again, and he got in. Of course, he still needed a lot of training, but he was ecstatic. Now, he's living his childhood dream, and while it isn't exactly how he had imagined it, he's still happy to be where he is today. Especially because of his amazing group members, whom he cares about deeply.

Relationships:
Soon-hee - mother
Ki-young - father
Su-jin - friend
Hwan-so - friend, crush
Haneul - close friend
Ye-jun - friend
Aroon - friend
[/div][/div][/div][/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText] [div class=Tag]PERSONALITY[/div] Eun-jae is a caring individual. If he feels like something's wrong, then he wants to get to the bottom of it. He tries to make sure his members are happy and healthy -- as much as they can be, anyway, as idols. He knows what it's like to not have someone to talk to, and he doesn't want that for the group. No matter the time of day (or night), his door is always open and he is willing to listen. That being said, he isn't exactly sociable. He prefers meaningful conversations over small talk, and generally tries to avoid the latter whenever possible. He's usually rather quiet, except around those he's close with when he lets loose a bit more and enjoys joking around. Though he encourages others to talk to him if they need to, he isn't the most demonstrative himself. But when questioned, he is always honest about his feelings.

Traits (+): good listener, articulate, handy, honest, creative, thoughtful
Traits (-): direct, sometimes blunt, reserved, vulgar
Likes: reading, watching movies, trying new things, dancing, cooking
Dislikes: noisy places, being touched unexpectedly or when upset, hot weather, messing up
Hobbies: cooking, collecting albums
Strengths: good at word games, knows a lot about repair, can do his own makeup
Quirks/habits: plays with his sleeves when bored or nervous [/div][/div][/div][/div] [div class=BottomBox] [div class=Box6][div class=InfoText]hair: lavender[/div][/div] [div class=Box7][div class=InfoText]eyes: brown[/div][/div] [div class=Box8][div class=InfoText]6'0"[/div][/div] [div class=Box9][div class=InfoText]159 lbs.[/div][/div] [div class=Box10][div class=InfoText]body type: athletic[/div][/div] [/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText] [div class=Tag]EXTRA[/div] stage name: NJ • birthday: november 19th (scorpio) • scars: none • tattoos/piercings: 1 earring on his right, 2 on his left • style: dark clothing, long sleeves, jewelry • languages: korean, english, conversational japanese • favourite food: tteokbokki • favourite activity: sleeping • his dream: to become a father • fears: being alone, hospitals • something that makes him laugh: variety shows • something he'd never do: intentionally hurt someone • guilty pleasure: smut novels • a secret: he once unknowingly hit on his cousin [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소

Talking with your manager is never fun, talking with your manager about something that could end your career and lead to social suicide was
stressful and slightly panic inducing. Chewing on his lower lip he watched as his manager thought over his ideas and proposed solo.
"You do know this could kill you. People could call for you to quit, I mean the backlash alone? A gay man in an all boy's idol group? You are asking me to send you off to the wolves Hwan-so." The older man sighed looking it over and looking up at Hwan-so, seeing the young boy he had helped grow into fame over the past 6 years. "Do you really want to do this? I mean, you could just retire in peace, leave the group. Why this? Why make such a production of it?" He pushed the rough draft of lyrics back twoard the other end of the table, running a hand over his face.

"I don't want to just leave the group, I'm the leader right? I also want to be honest; to myself, my teammates and my fans. I don't even do much anymore, Aroon is doing wonderful he would make a good new leader. Most of the raps and lyrics are done by Eun-Jay and Ye-jun anyway, I sure as hell don't contribute to dances. The group will be fine without me, if people call for me to be fired the group doesn't suffer. Aroon can take my place or find other young talent. I've given 6 years of my life to this and... I'm not happy." He shighed looking at the mess of a script in front of him, "I want to do one last thing though, one last goodbye. Please?" Finally the manager nodded, letting out a deep sigh.
"I just hope you know what your are doing."
Hwan-so stood up, smiling sadly to himself. "This is the first thing I've been sure of in awhile." He nodded and headed back out, heading to the main practice room where the others where waiting and working. Putting on a fake smile he pretended everything was fine. "What did I miss?"

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]Eun-jae stood with his hands on his hips, trying to control his breathing as he watched Su-jin run through the last few moves of the choreography they were practicing. As usual, when they had a new one, Eun-jae quickly learned the basics and was now observing Su-jin and finding what he could improve upon so that he moved as fluidly as the other man. When Su-jin was finished, he looked back at Eun-jae and the elder wiped his face with his shirt collar before stepping forward to repeat the steps.

After repeating this process a few times, the two took a break. Eun-jae went over to where Haneul was sitting with his back up against a wall working on something and plopped down next to him. With a dramatic sigh, he rested his head on the younger's shoulder. Haneul gave a tiny snort of laughter in response but said nothing, continuing to work. Eun-jae glanced at the notebook in his lap, discovering a page full of half-finished lyrics, and he smiled gently, shutting his eyes.

He rested for a few minutes before glancing up at the sound of the door opening. In walked Hwan-so, and Eun-jae suddenly felt lighter. He looked at him through half-lidded, tired eyes, taking in his smile which seemed sorta off somehow. Haneul looked up too when Hwan-so spoke and waved. "Not much. Sujin-hyung and Eunjae-hyung were the only ones really doing anything," he said, pointedly glancing at the younger two members sitting together in the corner, one collapsed on top of the other.

Eun-jae chuckled softly and sat up, stretching his arms over his head before standing. He pulled down on his shirt, smoothing it out. "Where were you?" he asked curiously. He pushed his hair behind his ears, rubbing at the side of his face with his sleeve. [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소
Seeing Eun-jae always brightened his mood and he felt his face relaxed from the slightly strained fake smile. Shrugging he laughed brushing his teammate off slightly. "Eh, leader stuff. Ya'know, manager hush hush ext." He got started on stretching listening to the others chatting, balling up a light hoodie around his waist at the Maknae line. "Common kiddies, up and at em. We have to practice, you can't be that tired already. If we finish practice early we can get some ice cream and snacks ok?" He smiled, walking over to the lump of younger boys and lightly poking them as they made various noises of complaint. The promise of sweet treats worked though and much like a puppy the three popped up and the group went back to practicing. Feeling confident Hwan-so tried a slightly more complex move before getting his legs tangled and falling flat. "Owwwww... Su-jin why are you so mean to your leader?" He laughed with his friend as the other came over and helped him through it until he could get it right ( after falling 3 more times...) The hours seemed to stretch on until the sunlight faded from the small window outside and he decided to call it quits. "Hey, I think that will be enough for today, common I said we could get some icecream. As long as no one tattles to manager-nim" Stretching out sore muscles he stuffed his lyric notebook back into his bag, packing up for the end of the day looking around the room to the other zombie like members. "Good work today! I think we are starting to get the hang of it." He made his way over to the two main rappers in the group grinning. "Any updates on the new project? I've been trying to work with Ye-jun but I think he's hit a wall."

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]The elder man eyed the leader skeptically. He still felt like something was wrong, but Hwan-so seemed more at ease now, like whatever he had discussed with their manager was gone from his head for the time being. Eun-jae decided to leave it alone. Besides, if it really was meant to be a secret, then he would respect that.

They went back to practicing once Hwan-so managed to bribe persuade the younger members into joining them and Eun-jae focused on the choreography. He was startled when he heard a loud thud and looked over to find Hwan-so on the floor. He took a step closer, about to run over to check if he was alright, but then he was laughing and joking with Su-jin, who had went to help him up. Eun-jae observed the two best friends for a moment before turning away. He brushed his bangs out of his face and went back to what he was doing.

When they were finally finished, Eun-jae sighed in relief -- even he was ready to be done after awhile. After years of intense training everyday, his body certainly got more used to it, but that didn't mean he wasn't bone-tired by the end every time. He smiled at Hwan-so's mischievous tone and the excited looks on the younger members' faces. Ice cream wasn't exactly the most healthy, but he honestly didn't care right now -- it sounded pretty good.

Eun-jae grabbed his phone and slipped it into his back pocket, heading over to where Haneul and Aroon were chatting and packing up. The three started heading for the door when Hwan-so came over. "I think I've hit one myself," Haneul replied, frowning. "I mean, I have a bunch of stuff written but, it's all random and I'm not sure if I can make them work. But, I'm not giving up! What about you, Eunjae-hyung?"

The other rapper glanced at them, offering a small shrug. "I have a couple sample beats. They're alright. If you like any of them, maybe I could spend time improving them. And maybe it'll help you come up with something, Haneul. Give you something to go off of." [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소
Hwan-so shrugged making an odd face grimacing slightly. "He says that all of my songs are too "cute" and wants to give this one a more. Sexy. Vibe." He shrugged once again lost. It was true that his person was much cuter than some of the others, he liked making songs with hidden or multiple interpretations which could come off as cute or silly but would have more serious undertones and had never really mastered the sexy aspect of the kpop scene. Still all of this could wait until later, for now they had ice cream. Heading out into the main town was always slightly risky and like always he went without makeup and a baseball hat and hoodie to cover up his extremely bright hair. Thankfully they hadn't been filming anything today so he didn't have to wear any makeup which also helped a bit on blending in. He mostly chatted with Su-jin at the front of the pack discussing new dramas and shows the two would trade watching Su-jin preferring psychological horror and mystery and Hwan-so liking silly romance dramas. The group arrived at a small ice cream parlor and he set about getting everyone's order so that most of them could wait outside. Aroon decided to take the money form everyone and go in to order and bring it out to everyone so they could enjoy it allowing the others to talk with each other and relax a bit. "Hey Eun-jae you know some English right? Like pretty good right, a friend sent me this super weird English song I think it will make you laugh." He laughed to himself pulling the song up on his phone and holding out one ear bud to the other band member.

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]Eun-jae huffed at that. "Sexy?" They had done songs like that before, of course -- every group does at some point -- but that wasn't really Hwan-so's forte. Maybe his songs were 'cute', but they meant something. It was somewhat insulting to ask him to do anything else. Eun-jae didn't mind any of the different concepts they've had and have to do. He might not necessarily like them, but he didn't mind them. But his favourite songs were always Hwan-so's. Because they have meaning, and oftentimes, he can relate to them. Eun-jae hoped that Hwan-so wouldn't be forced into making some empty, cookie cutter song simply because people were bored of their 'cute' stuff. "Well, maybe Haneul or I can help you," he suggested quietly.

Once they left the building, Eun-jae fished his face mask out of his hoodie pocket and pulled it on, followed by his hood. Frankly, he hated the fact that he had to disguise himself when he went out these days. It was just too difficult to get any privacy anymore. He hung near the back of the group with Ye-jun, who moved closer to him so that Eun-jae could see what he was looking at, which happened to be memes. He laughed at a few, but most of them were stupid, as was expected. Glancing up, he nudged the other man with his elbow to let him know they had arrived.

After everyone had said what they wanted and Aroon went inside to place their orders, Eun-jae sighed and stood up against the wall, his hands in his pockets. He appreciated the youngest's offer to bring it out to them, but Eun-jae always felt a little uncomfortable waiting in public. Thankfully, the other members were with him so at least he wasn't alone. It amused him somewhat that he was a famous idol that struggled with social anxiety, but then, he was a different person on stage, wasn't he?

When Hwan-so came up to him, Eun-jae lifted an eyebrow skeptically. He glanced down at the other's phone and slowly took the proffered bud, placing it in his ear. "Okay..." he said warily. Every word that came out of Hwan-so's mouth worried him. He always found the weirdest stuff to show him, and the fact that Hwan-so only spoke some English meant that he wasn't entirely sure himself what he was having Eun-jae listen to. Eun-jae glanced at the pink-haired man, however, his face lit up with laughter already, and he couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips as he looked back down at the phone. [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소
Hwan-so shrugged humming to himself as they walked. "It's fine, I am letting Ye-Jun take over. I'm working on something else I'm afraid so I can't do much to help. I also am not really good at the whole sexy thing." He just thought to himself realizing how hard it would be to record and produce his solo without anyone knowing, ideally he would tell Su-jin but that could risk everything. He started to giggle as he played the song "Skullcrusher mountain" playing over his slightly tinny ear buds as he laughed manically. "Its so weird!" The song was rather creepy about a mad scientist who kidnapped a girl and threatened her to stay and "love" him. "What is crazy is this guy made a whole album like this. Each song was written, produced and recorded in a day! Maybe we should have the Maknae line do that."

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]As the song started to play, Eun-jae's brow furrowed with confusion, even as a small, amused smile formed. He had no idea where this was going. When it got to the chorus, laughter bubbled out of him at the sheer unexpectedness of the lyrics. "What the hell..." he said, chuckling as he looked up at Hwan-so. It definitely was strange, but he found it entertaining, and kind of catchy. By the second chorus, he was bobbing his head to it.

Eun-jae's eyes widened at that factoid. "Really? That would kill me if I tried that!" Granted, it was probably considerably less difficult to create songs like this, as opposed to the kind of things Eun-jae did. But that was still impressive. "Ah, don't torture the children, Hwan-so," he scolded playfully.

"Anyway, I kinda like it," he added, nodding his head at Hwan-so's phone. "What is it? I might listen to it again," he laughed. [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소
Whenever he was with Eun-jae he felt like a broken record, terrified that his affection showed too honestly, laughing and smiling more than with anyone else even his best friend within the group. In slightly broken English he responded best he could. "Skullcrusher mountain. By Jonathan Coulton, it's really catchy huh? I didn't understand it very well at first but Su-jin helped me translate most of it so I get what is going on. He just think's it's too weird though. Besides I wouldn't torment the kids that much. Just for a week." He grinned impishly bumping shoulders with Eun-jae looking up as Aroon came back with the promised ice cream and chaos descended on the group, unknowing to them a figure in the shadows taking pictures.
And that is how it continued for what felt like months, working during the day and secretly recording every night. Once all the others had gone to bed Hwan-so would sneak out to the recording studio and set to work, finalizing his last gift as he had taken to calling it. Some days he would get 3 hours of sleep, most days he missed practice. It was so difficult to write something at face value, but the fear of being misinterpreted got to him. Manager-nim suggested doing a video but he wanted to keep the least amount of people involved possible, an idea came to him though from a strange source.
The song was about him, it was hard to write to be this honest for thousands of people, but it was also a beacon of hope and understanding to all those out there like him. Soon instead of missing a few practices he missed almost all of them, Su-jin wouldn't speak to him for three days because of it the inevitable fight of keeping secrets between them. But he had to do this. One night when looking through the internet he found another strange English song 'Same Love'. The men in the video looked so happy, so in love, and neither of them where the singer. Of course part of that was the singer himself wasn't gay but the idea took root in his mind. If he payed enough money signed enough nondisclosure agreements he could make the video without ever acting in it. The months seemed to drag on under the workload, whenever someone asked where he was going or what he was doing he would simply cryptically reply. Eventually they just stopped asking. It was taring him apart but it had to be done, it would make him leaving the group all the easier. Finally after 3 and a half months, Love Story was set to drop. an hour before he went onto twitter and made an official announcement in a string of tweets after radio silence.
'Thank you to all my fans for being so concerned these past few months (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡'
'The truth is I have been working very hard on a secret project! And I'm very happy to announce that one hour form now it will be released ＼（Ｔ∇Ｔ）／'
'Please take care of me in my solo debut, and join me 30 min after it's official release on V-line for a stream going over the meaning and answering questions. See you then!'
And with that, he waited.


Beodeul 버들
Beodeul was not crazy, or obsessive. She had friends, and went to school and liked music just like any other 18 year old girl in Seoul. But she had a secret, a secret boyfriend. Those months ago he had seen her, hiding in the shadows they had met eyes and he had laughed so sweetly, smiling just for her. How could she not fall in love? Sense then he has been sending her messages, all the other fans will swoon and think it is for them but Beodeul knew the truth. Eun-jae was in love with her, and she was in love with him. And nothing would keep them apart.

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]Eun-jae has been struggling.

The past few months have been difficult, for all of them. It was Hwan-so. Everyone was worried about him. It started with him sneaking out at night. Eun-jae didn't know how long it had been going on, but one night he couldn't fall asleep and he heard movement in the living room. He got up to investigate it and saw Hwan-so leaving the dorm, just in time to watch the door close behind him. He questioned him the next day, and didn't get much of an answer. But Eun-jae left it alone, thinking maybe Hwan-so simply couldn't sleep and went to the studio to get some work done. They'd all done that at some point.

Then he started missing practice. Then it became so frequent, it was rare to ever see him there. Then he and Su-jin got into a fight, and tensions rose even more between all of them. Eun-jae comforted them. Su-jin came to him after the fight, on the verge of tears. Ye-jun told him about how the other two maknae were upset, both much quieter than usual, and how he was trying to cheer them up but he felt like he was failing. Eun-jae comforted them all, not knowing what was going on with Hwan-so but hoping he'd be back to his old self soon, all while struggling to keep it together himself. He was worried about his friend, worried about the man that found his way into Eun-jae's heart and took root there. Everyone was hurting, and Eun-jae didn't know what to do. It felt like they were losing Hwan-so.

Three and a half months this went on. There was no more laughter, no more joking around. The apartment was devoid of the usual noise, the playful fighting between the maknae line or the silly discussions they'd all have. Instead of sitting out in the living room, where Ye-jun put on a movie for everyone, Eun-jae was laying in his bed. He was exhausted, the vocalist offering to take over and instructing him to get some rest. He lay there, eyes wide open, his heart aching. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. He had to be strong, for the others. He missed Hwan-so.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Eun-jae turned onto his back. He opened his eyes and grabbed his phone from the other side of the bed, unlocking it with a shuddering breath. He needed to distract himself, so he opened up Twitter and switched to his personal account. He scrolled through his feed for about a minute before one particular tweet caught his eye. Eun-jae sat up, immediately tapping on it. It was from Hwan-so. He read the three tweets posted mere minutes ago, his brow furrowing. A sudden wave of emotions washed over him. He was confused, relieved, sad, angry. He pushed the blanket off of him and onto the floor, leaving his room with his phone clutched in his hand. Su-jin looked up, about to question where he was off to, but Eun-jae left the dorm without a word. He guessed that Hwan-so was at the studio, so that's where he went. They deserved an explanation. Eun-jae needed one. [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소
It felt too much like a real confrontation, staying at the apartment. If he could outlast the others for just one more hour, after that this all would be easier and they could continue hating him in peace. He felt thick tears roll down his cheeks, what would Su-jin think? They had been best friends for years, had sworn to keep no secrets between them. He checked his phone the minutes dragging on as message after message piled up, dread pooling in his stomach. He couldn't save himself now, he did this and he would see this through. Carefully he rubbed the tears from his eyes pulling open the chat between the group members. He hadn't checked it in weeks, seeing everyone's concern for him made him feel like more of a traitor. Sitting up from the squishy couch in the recording studio he typed out a short but simple message to everyone in the group. "Group meeting in 2 hours, dorm living room. I need to talk." Sighing his fingers hovered over the buttons before he continued sending one more despite his best judgement. "I promise, once this song drops. I will answer everything. I am sorry." Su-jin immediately tried to call him but he let it drop, checking social media instead. The fans where confused, some where angry thinking he was leaving the group, a handful of his personal fans supported him but everyone was unsure as to what this exactly ment. He had never expressed interest in being a soloist before, this would be the first song he was main vocals in in 2 and a half years, and the first one he wrote alone in a little over 3. It was simple and sincere, brutally honest. In the quiet of the studio he couldn't help but hum it to himself before looking up from his hiding spot seeing he had been found out.
Eun-jae looked murderous, and there was only one very heavy soundproof locked door between them. "Shit..." It was too late to hide now.

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]As it turned out, Eun-jae was correct. He always had a feeling that this was where he was sneaking off to every night, but he didn't understand the sneaking. Maybe Hwan-so didn't want Eun-jae to worry about him, or scold him for not getting enough sleep. Well, he's going to wish he had told them what he was up to. Despite really not wanting to be, Eun-jae was furious.

Eun-jae glanced down at his phone when it vibrated, seeing a couple messages from Hwan-so in the group chat, after weeks of not saying anything. Scowling, he tried the handle, unsurprised to find it locked. Eun-jae knew Hwan-so didn't want to be found, didn't want to talk to anyone. That was fine, he supposed (though it wasn't, really), before he had read the other's tweets. But all this secrecy for a song? And Eun-jae had to find out on Twitter like their fans, like he wasn't a fellow member and friend? Was Hwan-so leaving them? Leaving him?

He felt tears well in his eyes as he brought his hand up to knock on the thick glass of the door's window, swallowing a sob. He had spent months masking his feelings -- hell, years, really -- and he didn't want anything to come out now. "Hwan-so," he spoke roughly, knowing the other couldn't hear him. "Open the door." He knocked again, harder this time. He wasn't leaving until Hwan-so spoke to him. He needed to hear his voice, because it felt like forever since the last time he had, and he needed to know what the hell was going on. [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소
Hwan-so shrunk further in to his squishy "nest" trying vaguely to hide but knowing that he had been found out and would not be left alone. He winced feeling horrible about making Eun-jae cry but he stayed firmly curled up pulling out his phone instead sending a private message to Eun-jae.
"I can't hear you.
Sorry.
I know that this looks bad, and I have been a pretty shit leader and friend and...
Look. Just please. I can't tell you until the song drops. So if you swear not to yell at me for an hour and a half we can.
Talk...
Idk.
But I promise I have a very good reason for all of this. And I'm not leaving the group."
His fingers hovered over one last message, the ominous word that would lead to more yelling and questions. 'sorta' it was so casual and ordinary but if he hit send it could create more trouble. Doubting himself he erased the message and set his phone down waiting to hear what Eun-jae would do next. 30 more minutes until the song dropped. If he could just last 30 minutes then he would survive. Probably...
He looked up face serious and a little sad as he softly spoke to himself knowing that whatever he said wouldn't be answered, safe in a sound proof room.
"I hope you don't hate me after this..."
He chewed at his lower lip looking down at his phone and the 20 some odd messages from Su-jin before he caved, feeling sick to his stomach as he typed out the two simple words he was terrified to tell the world.
"Su-jin.
I'm gay." At the very least his best frined deserved to know, and with any luck that would mean he would only have to deal with one furious confrontation. He hadn't even been this scared when he came out to his parents 10 years ago, they had always loved and supported him. Even now when he warned them of what was to come they only wanted for him to be happy and healthy, despite everything they never loved him less or judged him. But for some reason, admiting it to his band members, his closest friends. It was terrifying.
It was like Beom-seok all over again.

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]Eun-jae's eyes searched the inside of the room -- what he could see through the window, anyway. He struggled between wanting to look at Hwan-so and not being able to. Eventually, he turned his head away, aggressively wiping at his eyes with his sleeve. Then his phone buzzed again and he glanced down at it. Eun-jae let out a disbelieving huff of laughter at the messages he received from the man only a few feet away, hiding inside of a locked room. Hiding from him...

Eun-jae paused. Hwan-so was scared. Of whatever has been going on, and of him. The last thing he wanted was to hurt the other man. He didn't want him to be afraid of him. He needed to calm the fuck down right now. He slumped against the door, resting the side of his head on the cool glass. It hurt, being kept in the dark. But whatever it was was obviously eating away at Hwan-so and suddenly Eun-jae didn't think this was just about a song anymore. There was more to it, and Hwan-so needed someone to listen, not berate him. He'd been dealing with this by himself all these months, maybe even longer, because he didn't want to -- couldn't -- talk about it. Until now.

Exhaling slowly, his breath shaky, Eun-jae brought his phone up to reply. He needed to put aside whatever feelings he had for the man and be a friend. Especially since Hwan-so wouldn't understand. There was no reason for Eun-jae to be so upset over this. He wasn't his best friend, wasn't the one he had fought with.

"Fine. I believe you. I won't yell. We can talk." [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소
Hwan-so swallowed and silenced his phone sticking it in the pocket and getting up to go unlock the door. Opening it a crack he peeked out trying to hide the fact he had been crying and noted that Eun-jae was still trying to hide his own tears. "Hey... I know you probably have a lot of questions but like. If it could wait like 30 minutes that would be awesome..." He swallowed trying to conceal his anxiety and opened the door further welcoming Eun-jae into the room. He had dragged a soft blanket into the recording room and set everything up for the stream in an hour so he would be comfortable. He flopped down on the couch letting out a loud sigh looking around the room before finally looking back to Eun-jae, his face more somber than it ever was for camera or in the past as he spoke outloud almost to himself. "What do you think happens after this?"
Hwan-so didn't drink often but now he craved a hard drink to try and eliminate the anxiety plaguing him. Papers surrounded him, countless energy drink cans as the room had been turned into a horrifying nest, Hwan-so hardly leaving over the past week and a half as he put the final touches on his project. "Sorry for the mess..."

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]Eun-jae sighed softly, relieved when Hwan-so got up to unlock the door. He was taken aback slightly at the sight of the other man's wet eyes, likely matching his own. Obviously he knew Hwan-so was upset, but still, it was jarring seeing him cry. Maybe because, like him, Hwan-so wasn't very open with his emotions, so it was unusual to see him so vulnerable. Maybe it was because he didn't like to see the other unhappy, for more personal reasons. Either way, he was overwhelmed by the desire to make Hwan-so smile in that moment. Instead, he slipped his phone into his sweatpants pocket and crossed his arms over his abdomen, willing himself to stop crying so they could focus on Hwan-so.

Eun-jae blinked when Hwan-so spoke, brow furrowing. He opened his mouth to respond but promptly shut it, his jaw clenching as he looked away. He wanted answers, but he didn't want to pressure the other. He'd never force someone to open up to him, especially not Hwan-so. But God, he better have a good explanation for all of this. Eun-jae nodded shakily before entering the room, looking around. He winced internally at the state of the room, indicating Hwan-so had been holed up in here for awhile. Great, now he was worried about the other's health on top of everything else.

He tore his eyes away from a pile of empty cans at Hwan-so's unexpected question. Rubbing his bicep, he lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. "It's okay," he said in response to the apology as he thought of how to answer. He wasn't sure what the man meant, but it sounded somewhat ominous. He did not like that.

"Personally, I like to think reincarnation is a real thing," he joked, giving a small, strained smile which quickly dropped as he sighed. "After what, Hwan-so? Your debut? Our careers? I don't know. I try to take everything day by day." Eun-jae quickly swiped at his eyes before taking a seat on the couch, nestled into the corner and squished up against the armrest. He brought his legs up to wrap his arms around his knees. He was silent a moment, then glanced at the other. "Hwan-so... I know you're worried about this song, but... you're not alone, remember? You don't have to do it all by yourself. We miss you..." he said, voice getting quieter near the end. I miss you. [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소
He grinned slightly at the attempt at a joke from Eun-jae feeling himself curl up on the oppoist end of the soft couch as his teammate. "When we joined we knew we had an expiration date. We knew that we wouldn't be young forever and that eventually all of this," he jestured to everything, to the room, himself and Eun-jae "Would end eventually. I mean. We where kids, we thought we could make it to number one and stay there forever! Anything was possible and we had stars in our eyes as we struggled to get by. And then we broke even, and then we got big and now. No I can't help but look forward to the fall." He felt a little rude saying all of this, he was after all not the oldest in the group but it still dug at his mind. "Not even the greats and famous can fight ageing. So what comes after getting big? What happens after the fall and the stuido picks up another group of boys who will be the next big thing in 4 years? Eun-jae I barely got my GED, I have no life skills. I can't even cook to feed myself!" He had started to lean forward and gesture in his rant but at the end he just felt tired, flopping back into a defensive position. "I guess it's just been eating at me. I've had an amazing 6 years but this can't be the peak of my life, I want to do so much more with it but I'm not sure how." He rubbed his eyes already feeling exhausted from all the emotions, his original goal was to take a quick power nap before the drop and stream but he couldn't seem to be able to relax and now Eun-jae was here and he felt like he was going to be sick. "That's one of the things Manager-nim and I where talking about. I'm not quitting but just. I don't want to end up on my face with nothing prepared for the inevitable end." He gave a vague shrug trying to force a laugh and failed horribly sounding closer to sobbing. No enough time had passed, the minutes seemed to drag on forever but he would get through this. If he could last the final few minutes then he would survive. Impulsively he checked the time, 10 more minutes until the drop, and looked back.

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]Eun-jae watched the other as he spoke, nodding slightly in understanding. It's not like he had never thought about the future -- in fact, he does so quite often -- but he preferred to live in the now, and to worry about that stuff later. He knew, though, that most of the other members didn't feel that way. They can't help but worry, and Eun-jae understood, he really did. He knew this wouldn't last forever. He wished it could though.

Eun-jae looked down at his lap as Hwan-so went on, swallowing thickly. His throat hurt from trying not to cry. He looked up when Hwan-so had finished speaking. "Soso..." he started softly, glancing from the other man to the couch and back. "There's nothing wrong with planning for the future. I just wish you would've told somebody. We're in this together, y'know? We're all going through the same thing. Maybe I'm not agonizing over it, but I'm well aware of the fact that one day..." he paused, before cutting off altogether. "Look, I get it. You don't wanna worry us with these thoughts. But trust me, we've already been thinking about it. We're more worried about you. So I hope, after this, you'll come back to us." Eun-jae shifted in his spot, crossing his legs on the seat in a pretzel. He wished he could take away all of Hwan-so's pain. [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소
The tears welled up again listening to his teammate console him, his heart ached overflowing with the love he felt for the other man. He wished he was braver, he wished that Eun-jae loved him back and would kiss him and hold him and whisper his fears away. But that wasn't the world he lived in, and he knew that being in a relationship wouldn't fix him, that someone else couldn't fix him only he could. Still he wanted to kiss his incredibly kind teammate for being there for him, for caring for him, for supporting and believing in him these past 6 years. At first he had been blown away by his looks alone but came to love his quirks and personality and every flaw about him. Through the tears he gave a weak smile looking over to the clock on the wall.
It was now or never.
"Thank you. But... That's not all." He smiled weakly and powered on his phone, opening youtube and pulling up his own channel seeing the new song. With shaking hands he pressed play, passing the device over to Eun-jae.
As a child his parents had insisted he learn an instrument; violin, piano, guitar, percussion, cello, something and eventually he had caved picking up piano. At first he hated it, hiding during lessons or skipping notes to annoy his tutors but eventually he was thankful for the skill. He didn't tell many people, he was out of practice and didn't like to seem vain but a mellow rhythm and fewer instruments seemed right for this type of song. The video opened with him at a wonderful grand piano in a dark room, his cloths where simple and dark and originally he considered temporarily dying his hair back to black instead of the bright pink but decided to keep it, a splash of color in the dark. The version of him in the video started to sing and the scene shifted, the camera angle similar to a student walking to school; moving and looking around, looking up at the sky and admiring the bright leaves in the wind against the dappled cloudy sky. The camera panned out to two younger boys, probably about 13 in a generic school uniform, talking silently as Hwan-so started to sing setting the script for the two boys. For once he kept things very literal, the music video following his lyrics, a story of two best friends in middle school against the world.
He sang about his other friends talking about girls but he never did, caught up in the curve of his best friends smile or the shine of his eyes. How his friends where going on dates and he would do everything to make the other laugh, share ice cream, play video games, anything to spend more time with him. He sang about feeling his face burn and his heart hurt when his best friend got a girlfriend thinking it was jealousy, watching the two of them hold hands like he used to. He poured out his heart for everyone to see as he admitted his darkest demons, how he started to realize he was gay when he was 13 with a crush on his best friend, daydreaming about kissing him instead of girls. He sang about how much it hurt watching his best friend drift away, driving a wedge between them as he hurt over all of the love he held for the other distancing himself to ease the pain. He admitted to the world what he had told himself all of those years ago in secret 'I think I love you more than I should/ but it doesn't matter anyway I don't think you even like boys'. He focused on his love for his childhood friend, about coming out to his family and learning to love himself. He sang about how this wasn't a choice and the fear of acceptance, he prayed he gave a hopeful message to others like him, confused and alone and unsure of what it all meant as he sang about love the first pure love of his youth that set so many things in motion for his life.
After what felt like a lifetime the song ended, Hwan-so standing proud in a dark room with a rainbow flag behind him and the simple Hangul message he hoped to convey.
'Love is Love'
'
사랑은 사랑이다

Hwan-so looked up from the screen, part of him was happy with how it turned out and proud that the manager of the account had preblocked comments to avoid the shit show that would follow. He looked up, trying to gauge Eun-jae's reaction. "So yeah, that's why I had to keep it such a secret..."

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]Eun-jae looked at the other man curiously, glancing at the phone when he pulled it out. Hwan-so's hands shook as he handed it to him and Eun-jae studied him for a moment before taking the phone silently and proceeding to watch the video. He knew that this had to be it, and scrolling down just an inch revealed to him that it indeed was. This was extremely important to Hwan-so, and so he tapped full-screen mode and sat back, preparing himself for whatever was to come.

Eun-jae felt his breath catch in his throat as the video opened, his only thought being how beautiful Hwan-so looked. He briefly lifted his gaze to the man beside him now, face and eyes red from crying and overall disheveled from practically living in the studio lately, and still he thought How can you be so pretty? He quickly looked back to the phone as Hwan-so began to sing.

At first, he wasn't sure what was going on. But it quickly became clear to him what the song was about and it felt like Eun-jae's heart had stopped entirely. This was Hwan-so coming out -- to him, to the world. Suddenly, he understood all the secrecy, and why Hwan-so was so upset. His chest hurt with how awful he felt for being angry with Hwan-so, and his heart began to pound with the possibility that maybe...

But no. Eun-jae simply kept watching, not wanting to take away from this pivotal moment for Hwan-so. He'd never come out to anyone before -- never felt the need to -- but he knew how scary it could be for some, especially knowing how close-minded people were here. It's getting better, slowly. But the way things are right now... Hwan-so wasn't stupid. He knew the consequences, and Eun-jae was sure that was the main reason Hwan-so was so distraught over it. He wished he could tell him everything would be okay.

By the time the song was over, Eun-jae wasn't sure what he was feeling. He wasn't upset, of course not. He firmly believed in people just being themselves and loving who they love, and it'd make him a hypocrite anyway if he got mad at Hwan-so for that. It was... unexpected. Eun-jae thought Hwan-so just didn't have time for relationships, or wasn't interested in anybody. Now this uncomfortable little spark of hope bloomed inside him and he didn't like it. This song was clearly about someone, and it wasn't Eun-jae, so he did his best to smother it. It wasn't the time, anyway. Hwan-so was expecting a reaction.

Eun-jae had paused the video on a frame of Hwan-so standing with the flag and the words 'Love is love' on the screen and he stared at it for a couple more seconds, trying to think of what to say. Truthfully, he had no idea. He never really freaked out about this kind of stuff or thought it was a big deal. But it was to some people, and apparently to Hwan-so, and he wasn't sure how he should react. Honestly, he supposed.

"Hwan-so..." he said, voice quieter and rougher than he had intended. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Thank you for showing me this." Eun-jae looked up at him. "I think it's really brave of you. And it's cool, y'know? That you're gay..." he paused, rubbing his sleeve on his thigh nervously. "I mean... uh... I'm fine with it? Like, I have nothing against gay people. I mean, I'm... well, I don't know. But, yeah... It doesn't change how I feel about you. You're still Hwan-so," he finished, face turning red at the wording. He looked away, brushing his hair out of his face. God, he sucked at emotional shit. [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]

 

[sharktrashcan]

Hwan-So 환 소

From the start of the video he was already tearing up in panic and with his anxiety but when Eun-jae admitted that he didn't mind he was full on bawling. Relief washed over him and he felt his shoulders shaking with heavy sobs wanting to give his friend a hug. To hear that it didn't change a thing, especially from Eun-jae it made him so happy. The exhaustion of the past 3 months of production hit him all at once and he was just so tired. "Thank you... Thank you so much." He smiled through his tears laughing a little at himself and what a mess he must look like right now. "Want to join me for the stream in like, 30 minutes? And can like, is it ok if I still do skinship and stuff with you?" He felt the flush climbing up his face and burn through him as he admitted one of his deeper fears of the teammates no longer wanting him to hug or cuddle with him anymore afraid that physical affection was flirting. Hwan-so had always been very tactile and the idea that his closest friends and practically family where uncomfortable with him made him so sad. He wiped his tears and let out a deep breath relaxing a little bit and saw several messages from Su-jin the most recent one stating the same that Eun-jae had said, saying that he 'didn't care what [ hwan-so ] was as long as they stayed friends and he was ok. "Thank you...."

 

[goldleaf]

[class=Container] --bg-color: #eee6ff; --bg-color-2: #fff; --name-and-tag-color: #D3C8E2; --border-and-shadow-color: #9F86C0; --main-text-color: #666; background: var(--bg-color); height: 200px; width: 200px; margin: auto; [/class] [class=Image] height: 60px; width: 60px; background: url('https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DaHo2YgWkAAMnsB.jpg'); background-size: 180%; background-position: 55% 30%; border: 2px solid var(--border-and-shadow-color); border-top-left-radius: 50px; border-bottom-left-radius: 50px; border-top-right-radius: 50px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; [/class] [class=Name] font-size: 20px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; text-transform: uppercase; text-decoration: underline; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=Tagline] font-size: 15px; color: var(--name-and-tag-color); font-family: Arial; text-shadow: 1px 1px var(--border-and-shadow-color); position: relative; top: -55px; left: 72px; font-weight: bold; [/class] [class=MainBox] height: 110px; width: 180px; background: var(--bg-color-2); border: 1px solid #ccc; position: relative; left: 10px; top: -35px; [/class] [class=Overflow] height: 100px; width: 170px; position: relative; top: 5px; left: 5px; overflow:hidden; [/class] [class=Scroll] width: calc(100% + 17px); height: calc(100% + 17px); overflow: scroll; box-sizing: border-box; [/class] [class name=Scroll maxWidth=375px] width: 100%; height: 100%; [/class] [class=MainText] font-family: Arial; font-size: 10px; line-height: 10px; color: var(--main-text-color); text-align: justify; [/class] [class=Credit] font-size: 10px; text-align: center; color: #666; [/class] [div class=Container] [div class=Image][/div] [div class=Name]eun-jae[/div] [div class=Tagline]박은재[/div] [div class=MainBox][div class=Overflow][div class=Scroll][div class=MainText]Eun-jae glanced at the other man when he didn't say anything at first, only to find that he was now sobbing, and Eun-jae could tell that it was from sheer relief. This weighed heavily on Hwan-so, and to hear it was okay was probably an immense comfort. Eun-jae was glad he could make him feel better. Hwan-so didn't need -- didn't deserve -- to be in so much pain, not over something like this. Eun-jae simply offered him a small smile in return, happy to see the other laughing.

He furrowed his brow at the question, pulling his sleeve up a bit to uncover his hand and setting it on Hwan-so's thigh before quickly moving it down to rest on his knee. Clearing his throat again, Eun-jae looked at Hwan-so, meeting his eyes. "Gay or not, you're my friend, Hwan-so. Who you love is not going to change that. And the rest of the guys aren't gonna care either," Eun-jae said, shaking his head gently. He wanted to assuage the other's worries, because he knew Hwan-so was scared about that. He paused, hand still on Hwan-so's leg, before he pulled it away slowly and placed it in his own lap. He smiled at him. "I know you love to cuddle. And if you want to know a secret, so do I." Eun-jae gave a small laugh and shifted his legs to plant his feet on the floor, body turned toward Hwan-so. "Seriously, don't worry Soso. This doesn't change anything. You can always come to me if you need me, even if you just want a hug." He smiled shyly, bowing his head to look at the floor. Truthfully, it would kill him if Hwan-so pulled away from him after this. Not just because of the obvious, but because Hwan-so was his friend and he cared about him and he didn't want that to end.

Sighing softly, content with how this turned out, Eun-jae looked up and nodded. "Sure, I'll join you." He wasn't entirely convinced this stream was a good idea, but if Hwan-so was intent on doing it, Eun-jae wasn't gonna let him do it alone. [/div][/div][/div][/div] [/div] [div class=Credit]code by pasta - bbcode+ by me[/div]