Mesenterium
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Syntra
Baba Yaga
Honestly, I've just stopped caring that much. It was a huge issue for me at one point, but then I came to the conclusion that this is a hobby, I'm stressed enough as is and I actually want to have fun with this. I know it's easy to say 'just let go of your anxieties, lol,' but yeah, it's what worked for me. I think I just learned to be kinder to myself in general. What helps, I think, is treating yourself as if you were your roleplay partner. I mean, are you tearing apart your partner's prose? Are you criticizing them constantly? Are you hounding them for replies? No? Then why are you doing this to yourself? You deserve to be treated right, too. (And, ironically, when I returned to my old posts and re-read them, I figured that relaxing my own requirements actually made me a better writer because your state of mind matters, too. So, it's a win-win situation!)
Crayons
Iconoclast
Agreeing with Syntra here - give yourself some kindness.
Aside from that, here's something to consider: Every piece of work you finish, every role play post you write is helping you improve. If you want to achieve perfection (although there's no such thing ha ha) then actually writing, actually finishing stuff and getting it out there, even though you believe it's not good enough, will help you get good quicker and more effectively than worrying as to why your writing is not good now.
I'm a perfectionist in certain areas of my life (especially work), but RP isn't one of them, because RP is purely for fun imo. Something that really helps me when I'm getting all obsessive over adjusting this line or that is thinking of this mantra: Perfect is the Enemy of Good. If you find yourself getting stressed out, try saying that a couple of times and remember that every step you take gets you closer to where you want to be.
Aside from that, here's something to consider: Every piece of work you finish, every role play post you write is helping you improve. If you want to achieve perfection (although there's no such thing ha ha) then actually writing, actually finishing stuff and getting it out there, even though you believe it's not good enough, will help you get good quicker and more effectively than worrying as to why your writing is not good now.
I'm a perfectionist in certain areas of my life (especially work), but RP isn't one of them, because RP is purely for fun imo. Something that really helps me when I'm getting all obsessive over adjusting this line or that is thinking of this mantra: Perfect is the Enemy of Good. If you find yourself getting stressed out, try saying that a couple of times and remember that every step you take gets you closer to where you want to be.
Onmyoji
HanGuang-Jun
Find a good rp partner. 1x1 or in a group, doesn't matter. This might really help to pull yourself out of this enchanted circle of 'writing - not satisfied - not writing - not satisfied with not writing - writing' when you get response from someone who cares about what you're writing.
By response I don't mean they would constantly comment on your writing style or proofead. More like, they will be eager to wait for your replies, to continue to rp with you. It's motivating by itself, not letting you boil in your own stew of frustration because there is someone out there willing to write a story together with you.
Roleplaying on the whole pulled me out of several years writer's block. Until then, I was mostly writing stories on my own and as I'm a perfectionist too, I was writing and rewriting and rewriting and never published anything because it was never 'good enough'. You can't imagine how many unfinished stories I have just because I lost motivation for them since they were never 'perfect'.
But then, roleplaying. You write with someone else. If you don't write your post, that someone will eventually leave the rp. And you wouldn't want that to happen if the rp is very good, right?
The thing is, your replies don't have to be perfect because whatever you write, they will move the story on. Or rather, not ALL your replies have to be perfect. I do understand having high standards for writing. Just that we're all human and we can't always perfectly dish out same quality writing on demand. Sometimes we're tired or sick or just have thoughts elsewhere. It can especially show if you're a novella length writer and used to writing 1000+ words posts but sometimes you can barely move over 300. Yeah that happens, and it's alright. You can talk to your rp partner about this too (this is why I prefer 1x1, much easier to communicate). Sometimes you're just stuck or unsure where to progess the story, so discussion will bring back motivation.
Another thing, no writing is wasted. Even if your writing piece is not perfect but you *wrote* it (yay!) Sometimes you just need to knock out your inner editor and let the piece go, and then re-read it a bit after to reflect on what you could do better, and write *the next piece* better.
I have a few very long-term roleplays and reading them sometimes resembles a sine wave. Here I was very motivated and wrote a lot - and here had a bad day and reply was shorter and more bland - but then I went on vacation and replies got longer and more interesting again - and here we had a very cool OOC discussion and added this new idea bringing the story in different direction - ....
Most importantly, all of this was fun.
I know it's easier said then done, but keep reminding yourself it's all for fun and you will improve anyway if you *write*. You will not improve if you don't write.
By response I don't mean they would constantly comment on your writing style or proofead. More like, they will be eager to wait for your replies, to continue to rp with you. It's motivating by itself, not letting you boil in your own stew of frustration because there is someone out there willing to write a story together with you.
Roleplaying on the whole pulled me out of several years writer's block. Until then, I was mostly writing stories on my own and as I'm a perfectionist too, I was writing and rewriting and rewriting and never published anything because it was never 'good enough'. You can't imagine how many unfinished stories I have just because I lost motivation for them since they were never 'perfect'.
But then, roleplaying. You write with someone else. If you don't write your post, that someone will eventually leave the rp. And you wouldn't want that to happen if the rp is very good, right?
The thing is, your replies don't have to be perfect because whatever you write, they will move the story on. Or rather, not ALL your replies have to be perfect. I do understand having high standards for writing. Just that we're all human and we can't always perfectly dish out same quality writing on demand. Sometimes we're tired or sick or just have thoughts elsewhere. It can especially show if you're a novella length writer and used to writing 1000+ words posts but sometimes you can barely move over 300. Yeah that happens, and it's alright. You can talk to your rp partner about this too (this is why I prefer 1x1, much easier to communicate). Sometimes you're just stuck or unsure where to progess the story, so discussion will bring back motivation.
Another thing, no writing is wasted. Even if your writing piece is not perfect but you *wrote* it (yay!) Sometimes you just need to knock out your inner editor and let the piece go, and then re-read it a bit after to reflect on what you could do better, and write *the next piece* better.
I have a few very long-term roleplays and reading them sometimes resembles a sine wave. Here I was very motivated and wrote a lot - and here had a bad day and reply was shorter and more bland - but then I went on vacation and replies got longer and more interesting again - and here we had a very cool OOC discussion and added this new idea bringing the story in different direction - ....
Most importantly, all of this was fun.
I know it's easier said then done, but keep reminding yourself it's all for fun and you will improve anyway if you *write*. You will not improve if you don't write.
Malphaestus
Touched by the Apocalypse
My arguments may not hold much water for yourself, but I will share my own take nonetheless, whilst keeping it widely applicable for others. Whilst I am also a perfectionist by nature, and abhored every instance I did not get an A on my school projects with enough passion as to make me incapable of doing my own homework for months, I no longer care. How I do not care is quite simple but a rather brutal matter which I do not intend to share on this post in particular though. But if you write enough, you stop to care about these things also.
Which comes to the actually important point of this, and that is to quite frankly finish your writing. Finishing your writing, over long periods of time, will strengthen your character, much like
Crayons
and
Syntra
alluded to. There is, unsurprisingly, nothing that a writer can gain more from than to finish their writing. You do not even need to reflect on it for it to become unconscious baggage and support for you to carry over into your next post. And with enough time, your baggage accumulates, and you can post 'good enough' posts. After a longer while, you can write 'good' posts, and so on.
How you do this does, in actual fact, not matter. So I disagree with
Onmyoji
that you need to find a partner for this exercise. Though I will not disagree that you might benefit from having one, merely that I would not personally. All I know is that it is far from necessary, the key deciding factor is writing, and writing a lot. Experimenting, trying to expand your prose, having fun with your writing (whatever that is).
I feel that reading will also help in this exercise, as it familiarizes you with different writing techniques and widens your suite of linguistic tools for you to utilize.
Which comes to the actually important point of this, and that is to quite frankly finish your writing. Finishing your writing, over long periods of time, will strengthen your character, much like
Crayons
and
Syntra
alluded to. There is, unsurprisingly, nothing that a writer can gain more from than to finish their writing. You do not even need to reflect on it for it to become unconscious baggage and support for you to carry over into your next post. And with enough time, your baggage accumulates, and you can post 'good enough' posts. After a longer while, you can write 'good' posts, and so on.How you do this does, in actual fact, not matter. So I disagree with
Onmyoji
that you need to find a partner for this exercise. Though I will not disagree that you might benefit from having one, merely that I would not personally. All I know is that it is far from necessary, the key deciding factor is writing, and writing a lot. Experimenting, trying to expand your prose, having fun with your writing (whatever that is).I feel that reading will also help in this exercise, as it familiarizes you with different writing techniques and widens your suite of linguistic tools for you to utilize.
Grey
Dialectical Hermeticist
My single greatest piece of advice is: read more. Then read even more than that.
Compare yourself only to where you were yesterday, and keep writing. You won't even notice you're improving for a long time.
If you want, solicit constructive criticism from peers you respect (and extend that courtesy to them).
No one needs my advice on dealing with self-esteem issues; you can usually piece it together from my writing and you will not like what you find.
Compare yourself only to where you were yesterday, and keep writing. You won't even notice you're improving for a long time.
If you want, solicit constructive criticism from peers you respect (and extend that courtesy to them).
No one needs my advice on dealing with self-esteem issues; you can usually piece it together from my writing and you will not like what you find.
Hella Downweather
The Witch of the Quill
So...I must admit I also have some trouble liking how I write in English. Since it is my third language, it doesn't come as naturally for me as French for example, and every time I RP with people, they point out things that I do differently that seems off/strange to them (Ex : I put a space before ! or ? at the end of a sentence, dialogue is introduced with - instead of " " and not mention my army of typos when I write quickly/don't proofread with Grammarly). Sometimes, I reread a sentence that I just wrote to see I switched a few words in French instead of English -.- (the most common mistake I tend to do is switch "and" and "et" if I write quickly). Also, having self-esteem issues is NOT ridiculous or cringy. I'd say it's natural to doubt yourself, and it's ok to feel those emotions. It takes time to people to be at ease with their imperfections.
Everyone up there gave pretty good advice on how to help! I think I may add this :
-Most people won't realize the mistakes you make while writing, and most of us aren't published authors renowned for our good writing. So it's ok not to have perfect answers every time. No one is grading you. No one is judging you. Heck you are anonymous here, so everything you write here should have no incidence on your IRL life...So it's ok to let go sometimes. Publish a meh answer to a RP to open the possibility to write a real banger afterward.
-Motivation is fleeting. Habits are not. If I had to rely on motivation to do half of the things I needed to for school, work, projects, etc... I would probably do nothing but laze around, playing animal crossing or fire emblem. Make an habit of writing a bit everyday (it doesn't have to be a lot, 100 words or 50 words depending on how you feel), and I'm sure it will help when you feel unmotivated.
Last thing, more philosophical, but is it really possible to create something perfect when it comes to art and writing? Your skills in English literature now are someone else's end goal, even with their imperfections.
Everyone up there gave pretty good advice on how to help! I think I may add this :
-Most people won't realize the mistakes you make while writing, and most of us aren't published authors renowned for our good writing. So it's ok not to have perfect answers every time. No one is grading you. No one is judging you. Heck you are anonymous here, so everything you write here should have no incidence on your IRL life...So it's ok to let go sometimes. Publish a meh answer to a RP to open the possibility to write a real banger afterward.
-Motivation is fleeting. Habits are not. If I had to rely on motivation to do half of the things I needed to for school, work, projects, etc... I would probably do nothing but laze around, playing animal crossing or fire emblem. Make an habit of writing a bit everyday (it doesn't have to be a lot, 100 words or 50 words depending on how you feel), and I'm sure it will help when you feel unmotivated.
Last thing, more philosophical, but is it really possible to create something perfect when it comes to art and writing? Your skills in English literature now are someone else's end goal, even with their imperfections.
AtomBombBaby
Junior Member
Sorry you're dealing with this issue 
I used to be a perfectionist in that way, too -- until I realized, for me at least, writing was meant to be fun, relaxing, and calming. I've struggled with anxiety all my life, especially in my teen years, when I got into role-playing. I went from one-liners all the way up to thousand-plus word posts I would spend HOURS writing...and that was stressful! It made writing feel like a chore to me, which was the total opposite of why I started writing in the first place. It was one of the reasons I quit grad school, too...writing was becoming something I hated, something I dreaded doing, and in the end it wasn't worth it to me.
I don't know how helpful that little tangent was, but what I guess I'm trying to say is, try to take the stress off your shoulders a little bit. Remember why you started writing in the first place: not to hit a certain word count, not to make your RP partner happy, but to make you happy! You know you're doing something right when you forget about the world for a minute and can envelope yourself in another universe, maybe in another body, and be content with that
Hope I could help!
I used to be a perfectionist in that way, too -- until I realized, for me at least, writing was meant to be fun, relaxing, and calming. I've struggled with anxiety all my life, especially in my teen years, when I got into role-playing. I went from one-liners all the way up to thousand-plus word posts I would spend HOURS writing...and that was stressful! It made writing feel like a chore to me, which was the total opposite of why I started writing in the first place. It was one of the reasons I quit grad school, too...writing was becoming something I hated, something I dreaded doing, and in the end it wasn't worth it to me. I don't know how helpful that little tangent was, but what I guess I'm trying to say is, try to take the stress off your shoulders a little bit. Remember why you started writing in the first place: not to hit a certain word count, not to make your RP partner happy, but to make you happy! You know you're doing something right when you forget about the world for a minute and can envelope yourself in another universe, maybe in another body, and be content with that
Hope I could help!
Grey
Dialectical Hermeticist
Oof, I really didn't meant to imply anything like that. Self-esteem issues are far more serious and worthy of consideration than most people appear to think.
I'm just very nihilstic in how I deal with it myself so I meant rather that no-one needs to hear the details.
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AtomBombBaby
Junior Member
It's pretty cool for me to look back on the writing I did ten years ago when I started RPing and see the improvement. That's a great way to look at it ^-^
AnimeGenork
The Duck Overlord
If I can post a reply that says "[NAME????]" for a character whose name I forgot to look back for and then have my partner in stitches over it,
I think anybody can brush aside the little things and post with confidence.
In all seriousness, I put humor into my writing because it makes me feel good about it. If I can laugh at myself, I can have confidence in myself. And if I make others laugh, even unintentionally, I think that makes it all the more worth it, too. Find something to smile about. It makes all the difference.
I think anybody can brush aside the little things and post with confidence.
In all seriousness, I put humor into my writing because it makes me feel good about it. If I can laugh at myself, I can have confidence in myself. And if I make others laugh, even unintentionally, I think that makes it all the more worth it, too. Find something to smile about. It makes all the difference.
NoQuillToLive
Sardonic Writer
Honestly, this thread just encapsulates me— I was lately feeling disconnected with my writing, emotion, empathy, and valued my writing as just meh. I became a little more active on here, and helped to reignite my spark somewhat and what made me love writing again. Honestly, just find a concept that just excites you and have fun with that. One morning I am not in the mood but by evening, I might be a bit more positive to post?
Reading helps and the right group/partners can help you with your slump, groups I am currently in did that with me.
I just talk a little bit about what I wanna write, and the rest flows. Kinda like a reminder that I love my dumb-ass characters and the potential for growth, development and shenanigans follow because of that. I am in this for them and myself, as an author to see where my character goes.
Reading helps and the right group/partners can help you with your slump, groups I am currently in did that with me.
I just talk a little bit about what I wanna write, and the rest flows. Kinda like a reminder that I love my dumb-ass characters and the potential for growth, development and shenanigans follow because of that. I am in this for them and myself, as an author to see where my character goes.
Jannah
Barely holding on.
Oh man, I feel this so much. I constantly feel like my writing is shit.
ikiqaiii
account no longer in use.
i'm sort of new here, - and to written rp - so i'm super self-conscious about doing something "wrong." all of my partners have had drastically different writing styles and i was constantly trying to figure out which one was "right." it was really damaging and took the fun out of rp because every time a partner took an extra day or whatever to reply i would panic and think i had been ghosted because i missed a comma, or my writing was bad.
my advice is, read the damn replies above me. so inspiring.
kisses to all, good luck, and farewell,
-kai
my advice is, read the damn replies above me. so inspiring.
kisses to all, good luck, and farewell,
-kai
Becker
“Someone else always has to carry on the story...”
Hello there
Unfortunately, self-esteem is something almost anyone struggles with in life, in many different ways.
For me, a huge perfectionist, those struggles are recurrent whilst writing, roleplaying included. So much that, sometimes, I can't finish certain pieces of work because I know, for sure, that they won't be as perfect as I want them to be, finding each small detail unbearable, which often leads to unmotivation. I feel so ashamed of such works that I can't publish them as well.
How to you deal with such self criticism?
And if you are passing through the same and if you wish to, share your story! All writers need a bit of love and support from time to time
This is just my personal opinion, if I like the person i'm writing with then i'm going to like their writing.. regardless of it being two perfectly written paragraphs or twenty bits of mad rambling. It is their work, their expression and as a autistic person I find it to be a very personal connection between me and them. I suppose it's the same way people might look at pen-pals or some other exchange of words, simply having the time to spare and effort to spend on writing up about some fictional interaction between two characters is significant enough to me that I believe it should have my full attention ~ same that I would ask of someone that looks at my messages, I wrote them with purpose, with effort and enjoyment of doing so.
All in all, I suppose that I too worry about my ideas and how people might perceive them, whether it be with absolute enthusiasm or a simple 'meh'. I haven't published a RP idea for a very, very long time because I worry that my time and effort will be wasted on something that might die out within a week or so due to my failure to audition the characters properly and things quickly fall apart. So with that, i'm content to wait until I come across someone that I like enough to want to share my ideas with and enjoy the mad adventures that comes from it.
Becker
“Someone else always has to carry on the story...”
That's very considerate of you! And I feel the same towards my roleplay partners: I feel utterly honoured by the fact that they spare a bit of their time in order to work on something together with me. It proves that we are on the same page and that we respect each other's work, but, above all, the simple fact that we are working together towards something we both enjoy and can appreciate, something that can make us both entertained. And the fact that we often try to give our best, even though it is not always possible (and I don't think that that's a problem), is also something to take in consideration.
Those exactly same feelings, allied with an increasing lack of time and some other issues have been preventing me from posting mine, even more now that I am taking a break, sort of. And at the moment I believe that I might be turned towards some introspective writing. In fact, I have been reading more than anything else, and the fear of simply not getting anywhere with my possible roleplay as well makes my work look so even more frivolous and tedious, in fact. For the meantime, I believe I prefer to stick around lurking through the recruitment page. Patience is key, I believe. The day will come. Soon, hopefully.
Thank you so much for your insight
Well, from one writer to another.. hit me up sometime, whenever you wish or want to.. i'm happy to talk about anything and everything that's on your mind ~ be it RP or otherwise.. my door will always be open for you to come and go as you wish!
Minako
🎮Super High School Level Gamer: Chiaki Nanami🎮
Oof, Man, I honestly wish I knew how to help, but me trying to help you with that would be like the blind leading the blind.
I will say good luck! And you're probably a lot better than you think!
And if you ever find the answer, lemme know!
I will say good luck! And you're probably a lot better than you think!
And if you ever find the answer, lemme know!
Lorsh
Varlot
Just find your least favorite RPs on the site that aren't made by you and force yourself to read them
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Lorsh
Varlot
Wrong, your roleplay is superior
laceanddoodles
Your run of the mill Victorian lady
I'm going to give you the same advice that my creative writing professor gave me in his advanced fiction class.
Every writer has that little voice in their head that says they aren't really a writer, they aren't really good enough. The only way to make it properly go away is to write. Then write more. Write enough that when that voice comes up, you can say "I am here, I am writing, I am doing the work and I am growing. I am a writer." And revise, revise, revise. I promise you that every book you've loved had a first draft, and that first draft was a mess. The difference between your writing and something on the NYT bestseller list is that the NYT bestseller had a 40th draft. The meat of writing comes from rewriting. From sculpting and fine tuning a story until it's nothing like the first draft, and it's as close to perfect as you can get it. Buckle in, roll up your sleeves, and do the hard work. It isn't always easy, and it isn't always fun, but it does make that voice go away.
Every writer has that little voice in their head that says they aren't really a writer, they aren't really good enough. The only way to make it properly go away is to write. Then write more. Write enough that when that voice comes up, you can say "I am here, I am writing, I am doing the work and I am growing. I am a writer." And revise, revise, revise. I promise you that every book you've loved had a first draft, and that first draft was a mess. The difference between your writing and something on the NYT bestseller list is that the NYT bestseller had a 40th draft. The meat of writing comes from rewriting. From sculpting and fine tuning a story until it's nothing like the first draft, and it's as close to perfect as you can get it. Buckle in, roll up your sleeves, and do the hard work. It isn't always easy, and it isn't always fun, but it does make that voice go away.
