Revive That Dying Flame - Voting and Discussion Thread

[Epiphany]

Revive That Dying Flame​

Main Story · Voting and Discussion Thread · Interest Check​

Voting and Discussion Thread​

This thread is intended to serve as a place for participants to record their votes, as well as discuss the choices offered, the story, the characters and anything else related to Revive That Dying Flame. I'll replicate the choices in the Main Story thread here, to make it easy for folks (especially me) to see which post votes are for.

Write-ins for what happens next as well as musing about the setting and the direction of the plot are especially welcome!

 

[Esbilon]

Woo! Glad to see this up and running It's an interesting premise, and I'm eager to see where it goes from here. Not many clues to go on, but let's see what we can figure out.

My first reaction on picking up my phone and seeing it was Monday would probably be to wonder if I shouldn't be at work. And then rushing to get to work. Of course, I'm not a hero in a story, so my instincts might be crap.

Regarding the offered choices, I'm leaning towards none of them. Are write-ins allowed?

Going over them...
1) Personally I would ignore the random guy. While he might be tied into the weirdness (how often are random people actually random in stories?) he doesn't seem at all forthcoming, and it seems unlikely that we have anything to offer or threaten him with if he does know something.
2) Calling Mama (presumably our heroine's mother?) sounds like a good instinct. Not sure about actually heading home, though, is there anything there that will help us figure out what's going on?
3) Trying to contact other friends sounds reasonable too. Probably a lower priority than mother, but still up there.
4) We don't know of a crime actually being committed, we don't have a crime scene, we don't feel drugged, and having test run would cost a lot of money and probably be fruitless.

Of the offered options, I'd go for calling around, and including Mama in the call sheet. And probably call while trying to get to work or class or whatever else we'd be doing on an ordinary Monday.

 

[Epiphany]

Write-ins are totally allowed.

What do you think this young woman should do, were you her?

 

[Esbilon]

Well, as I said, head to work/class and call people on the way. Which I suppose may be covered by the general "call people" option.

What does our heroine do with her Mondays on a regular basis?

 

[Epiphany]

At the moment, she hasn't thought much about work/class. One of the challenges of writing is how much information to front load and how much to reveal in subsequent posts. Perhaps I need to add more detail earlier in.

That said, she has a job with regular daytime hours and it's getting dark out now. Odds are good she's missed work entirely.

 

[Esbilon]

Ah. I see. Then going home makes quite a bit of sense, I suppose. Is she living with her mother? That seems to be indicated by that option, but at odds with my general impression of her.

In any case, I think I'm pretty much at "call people, as soon as you're out of the reading area where calling someone on the phone should be considered a capital offense."

 

[Error 420]

I'd talk to that guy. I mean, he's got to be plot-important for something. He wouldn't be in the game for nothing.

 

[Epiphany]

I'll give it another day, potentially the weekend to see if I pick up any other votes. Hopefully a tie-breaker.

Otherwise, I'll move on forward!

 

[Epiphany]

I went with the 'Call a Friend' option based Esbilon and ViciousVip3R 's remarks.

Appreciate the fine comments and discussion already! Hopefully this will give folks a bit more to chew on, though I've probably raised more questions than I've answered. I freely admit that my approach for writing the protagonist is to put myself in her head and think how I think she'd think...and that doesn't always lend well to a lot of expository context setting. I suspect that'll work out fine, as it means it'll be doled out over the course of this story.

I invite you to continue expressing your thoughts since, outside of the fact that reader input is the chief driver of what happens next, your reactions also tell me quite a bit about how I should handle things as I work on the Visual Novel version of this.

 

[Esbilon]

Another great piece, Epiphany . The very in medias res opening with no mention of who the character is is a very bold move for a visual novel, I can't help feel, but it can work. Not usually my thing, but this is good enough to compensate

Regarding what to do, I can't help feel that the one message we got while out cold is significant. Carma's request that Alley call her mother doesn't seem odious, so I'd say call the mother, get the pleasantries done as pleasantly as possible, and then call Carma.

Alternatively, since Carma has been in contact she's the person who'll be exposing us to the least weirdness. Mmm, still leaning towards what I said above, but I'm open to alternatives.

 

[ViciousVip3R]

(Oops, didn't realize there was a separate voting thread. My bad, I'll respond here in the future.)
I wanted to follow the lead given by the text message, as assuming that no further communications with Catherine meant that we did indeed go meet her, so she should be able to at least point us in the right direction. But, since that is not an option, I'll settle for calling Carma.

 

[Esbilon]

Epiphany allows write-ins so, Catherine would be an option that way, I guess. Plus Alley wasn't going out with only her, so presumably one of the others are people who were at the party.

 

[Epiphany]

Catherine is indeed a write-in option. I take those suggestions seriously, as they'll help me refine my path/routes for the actual game (and tell me how likely/unlikely the choices I provide are).

Alley's thought process hasn't exhaustively sorted through her Friday night (might be interesting if she chose to just stop long enough to do that). At the moment, she's confused, afraid and wanting something or someone familiar especially if they provide a way out of a place she didn't remember going to. Evidently, Catherine is not her first (or even fourth) choice for that. But I'm happy to reconsider that option if the majority want Alley to try connecting with the last girl she (presumably) saw in person before waking up here.

 

[Epiphany]

WIth the votes so far, I went with "Call Carma". Though there's two references to Catherine in this next post. Excellent thought, ViciousVip3R

Long post, particularly due to dialogue (to be fair, there hasn't been much of it to this point). Let me know if it drags too much or if I need to tighten up the pacing any.

 

[Esbilon]

I didn't feel like it dragged things at all. The dialogue was good, showing both their comfort and awkwardness.

Not quite sure what to read into Alley not being cold or Carma looking at her like that, but you've got me curious and noticing things

For the next move, I'm leaning towards staying with Carma. Partly because I like her as a character and want to see more of her (the player perspective) and because showing up anywhere else will inevitably lead to questions of why they weren't our first call which seems really awkward (the character perspective). Plus, Carma is still the only one who's been in contact with us, at least assuming the text sent in this update are so far unanswered, which is weird as hell, but something of a hint as to which road is more productive.

 

[Error 420]

I'd stay with Carma. I feel like keeping this circle small might be a proactive move.

 

[Epiphany]

Going with the majority vote, Alley stays with Carma!

...Which results in the end of Day 1. I considered dragging things out just so Day 1 had a bit more duration to it but it really would have been me just dragging things out for the sake of it. Instead, we'll pick up likely on Monday with the opening of Day 2.

At which point, the plot will really start to get moving!

 

[Esbilon]

Great stuff again. It's one thing to lose contact with your family, fall back on your ex, but to be denied the comfort of a hot beverage! You really do know how to torture your characters, don't you?

I'm getting strong Sidereal vibes from all the people ignoring her, it's pretty much text-book Arcane Fate stuff. That, of course, would make Carma Alley's Sifu, which leads to all kinds of issues. Not the least of which being the shockin the morning when she drops her Resplendant Destiny.

The food thing, though, that's pretty classic vampire stuff. Say, has Alley been outside in direct sunlight yet?

In any case, I believe this calls for a song.

 

[Epiphany]

Torturing the characters you love is a long, time-honored tradition in fiction in general (and in my writing in specific!).

I freely admit the similarity to Arcane Fate. Consider it a homage. But what's actually happening, and how, is (I hope) uniquely my own. Carma's Resplendent Destiny will be working just fine for at least this story so no immediate concerns there.

Given Alley woke up in the early evening on Monday, we have yet to see her in sunlight in this story.

The song was amusing. Thank you.

 

[Epiphany]

Thanks for everyone's patience. This is another long post that's actually twice this long and I decided "just because this is going to be a visual novel doesn't mean I can expect forum readers to put up with novellas between choices". And there's some vague appeal in considering something like Bioware's Dragon Age 2 dialogue system where picking a 'tone' consistently changes the authorial voice so to speak.

Let me know what you folks think! What kind of Alley would you like to see over the course of this story?

 

[Esbilon]

Aha! Waking up at the crack of dusk? going from zero to a hundred in the blink of an eye? Score another for the vampire-theory. I'm betting that tasty looking rye toast is no more appetizing once it's in Alley's mouth than the hot beverages from last night/morning.

Another excellent piece And one update this size every couple of days is quite a bit faster than most other Quests I've been involved with.

Regarding the question of tone... I dunno, I never really felt it added much in Dragon Age, and I frankly prefer knowing exactly which words are coming out of my character's mouth. I'm sure you'll take it into account, but... I dunno, as I said, you're running this and I'm happy to answer every question you want answered, but these kinds of things seem a bit superfluous to me.

For the actual vote, I'm 100% on the serious route. A bit of joking probably isn't going to harm anyone, but when people who love you are looking at you with their serious faces, they rarely appreciate a lot of it. I'm not saying there won't be room for getting mad or blowing them off later, but let's hear what they have to say before doing any of that.

 

[Epiphany]

One of the differences between Visual Novels and Quest/Choose Your Own Adventures tends to be length of content. As in, with Visual Novels it's not at all uncommon to read for upwards of 30 minutes between choices. Given I'm using a forum for test-driving the content, I feel the need to make some adaption and allowances to make it more reader-interactive and less wall-of-text. It's possible/probable that this particular decision branch won't be in the final version at all (and it's not in the current version either, just in this forum version).

Appreciate your feedback as always. I'll take it into consideration!

 

[Error 420]

What sort of program were you planning on using for adapting this into a visual novel? Are you doing it from scratch or using something like Ren'py?

 

[Epiphany]

Oh, totally doing Ren'py. I am not a programmer at all. Or an artist or a musician. Which is why I'm quite patient about getting the first book written, and then getting the practice of Ren'pying it while looking for an artist and/or musician who can create content that fits the theme of the game.

To be clear, I did spend a few months with Ren'py building some sample stuff with it so I know (roughly) how it works. I don't especially enjoy that bit, though, and I'm hoping I'll be more motivated to finish the Visual Novel once I've actually reached the end on one route (chosen by you delightful players).

Amusingly, I've actually written most/all of what you're reading as a Visual Novel first. I'm actually adapting it to a more conventional story format for the sake of (A) readers and votes as well as (B) it's fun!

 

[Error 420]

Epiphany I learned Ren'py myself, but really it was just to mod DDLC. Also, I'm something of a composer myself, so if you're making the game and you're interested, feel free to hit me up.

I'd also offer help with writing but I feel like you're very attached to this project so I'm not sure how you'd feel about bringing in another author.

Also, for the story, I'd lean towards keeping it light. I already invested in just trusting Carma, but considering the "she'll be alright" line and the strange reaction to coffee and tea I'm not too sure to trust her too much. Keep the fine details to myself.