Journal Relationships are hard.

[salvia palth]

I'm at my wits end with my boyfriend. Every single day it's something new. Now I know it's not supposed to be all sunshine and roses in a relationship, I get that. But every day, we fight over something completely pointless, and then we ignore each other for hours. What makes it worse, is that I'm only trying to FIX our problems, but he thinks he's the best thing in the world and doesn't have any problems, so he ignores them and moves on to mine. He's very selfish sometimes, and I am too. I think everyone is about some things. But being so blind to your own faults, that you cause your significant other to cry every night? Feel like they aren't loved?

He says I don't try to talk to him. That's bullshit. I have tried everything. I've tried the general sit down and talk, but it always escalates, because I point out something he does wrong and he explodes immediately. He's a horrible liar, as well. I can tell whenever he does. He screamed at me yesterday morning over that.

I'm lost. I love him. I have loved him for six years now. But I just don't know what he wants me to do anymore. I'm exhausted.

 

[cupidcreep]

(I'm not sure if you are asking for advice or not- so I'm sorry if you're not, and I can delete my reply if that's not what you were going for.)

I'm not a genius, but it seems like you are in a very toxic relationship. If he doesn't understand that you want to fix things and isn't making an effort to do so himself (or even realise there is any,) I think it would be best to not see each other anymore. You should not stay in a relationship if it is making you feel this sad, make you cry, or make you feel like you aren't loved. There are other boys that are much better than him, I assure you. I understand that you love him, and it will be hard to separate if you have loved him for 6+ years and have a connection- but if he isn't doing anything to help and the relationship isn't improving, you need to let him go. If you suffer from the separation it won't be as bad as what you're going through while you're with him.

 

[Lurker]

I'm not the most qualified to give relationship advice because lord knows I'm terrible at them, but I've been where you are. Dated a girl for three or so years and we would fight constantly. I wanted space when I was upset, she wanted to talk about it right there which just caused more fights. It's hard to argue with someone that you really want to make things work with but sometimes it just can't.

You definitely shouldn't be in a relationship that doesn't make you happy but try talking to him about these feelings if you haven't already. Tell him you can't keep doing this. Maybe that ends with you two breaking up and that'll suck, but after a while you'll start to feel better. And that doesn't mean you can't still be friends. Maybe not best friends but I still talk to my ex every once and a while. She's got her boyfriend and I have my cats. We're happy.

 

[Imperator_tenebrae]

And this is why I stay single...

 

[TrumpCard]

I can say one thing. There are two sides to every story, always. Your boyfriend could just be an asshole. That is fully possible. But, without seeing his side of it, it is impossible for me to know.

I won't get too much into it, but allow me to speak from personal experience. My ex and I, we loved each other. I have no doubt that she loves me still. But, I am not the most selfless person. I have more issues than most and I knew that. I also knew that I was not good for her. I tried, but I couldn't change. So I did what was best and left.

There are two possibilities. Either you are the wrong one. Or he is. There is no room for bias in a relationship. You must see things for what they are. All of this said, I will not tell you what you should do. That is up to you and you alone.

 

[salvia palth]

I can say one thing. There are two sides to every story, always. Your boyfriend could just be an asshole. That is fully possible. But, without seeing his side of it, it is impossible for me to know.

I won't get too much into it, but allow me to speak from personal experience. My ex and I, we loved each other. I have no doubt that she loves me still. But, I am not the most selfless person. I have more issues than most and I knew that. I also knew that I was not good for her. I tried, but I couldn't change. So I did what was best and left.

There are two possibilities. Either you are the wrong one. Or he is. There is no room for bias in a relationship. You must see things for what they are. All of this said, I will not tell you what you should do. That is up to you and you alone.

You know, what's super weird is that that's exactly what's going on. He just can't seem to change. He says that every time we fight, that he's trying and all that, and then the next day it would go right back to the same way. Lately, though, we've been getting a lot better actually! I sat down with him, and forced him to be quiet and actually listen to me without resorting to automatic arguing and yelling. Afterward, he FINALLY understood. To be honest, I think it's gotten a lot better than before as well.

 

[salvia palth]

And this is why I stay single...

If only I had that mindset 6 years ago before I got too involved with this guy.

 

[TrumpCard]

Well, I hope it works out for you. And him.