Advice/Help Question of group roleplay variety:

[Ludwig]

A member of a group roleplay I'm in keeps posting looking for more (group) roleplays, while I find myself completely dedicated to our current story. He is a very vital member, and I feel like if he left all of the work we all put in would collapse. Is this normal? Do people usually find themselves looking for more roleplay, while in the middle of one? To me, it seems like you're losing interest or are unsatisfied with what is happening in the story.

The reasons I find myself a bit confused about it all is just like, we still need to write out some Lore, a lot of plotting still needs to happen before we get things full-swing. All of this work needs more than one mind to make something interesting and enjoyable, but when i try to start a dialogue instead of having a back-and-forth to improve things I only get stonewalled, and it really crushes me.

I always find myself dedicated to things, putting in as much effort to get people to join, make things as realistic and enjoyable. Am I expecting too much? Should I try to talk with him about it? How even could I start that conversation, without my anxiety murdering my soul?

If you want anything clarified let me know.

 

[kevintheradioguy]

From personal experience, it is a gamble. I can support around... maybe five RPs at a time, so naturally, I'd look for more games to kill time while I wait for someone to respond. Then again, this might be a sign they are loosing interest. Why don't you ask them? Another experience I can share is: communicate with a co-player. If you feel that something's off, ask them if that's the truth and how can you two fix it. Saved me more than one good story. It also saves you a heartbreak.

 

[Ludwig]

Saved me more than one good story. It also saves you a heartbreak.

Yeah, currently he is busy with IRL things but the next chance I get I'll try to chat with him about it.

 

[Kaerri]

I'm in three group RPs myself, and I know several people who do more. It's a matter of how much time you feel you can commit to each one, really. It's not necessarily an indicator that your partner is losing interest, just that they're looking for something different, or just more. Like keeping up with three different TV shows at the same time, if that helps?

On the other hand, if you aren't getting any response from your partner in the RP that you're doing together, that may well be an indication of dwindling interest. It could also be an indication of any number of things, potentially including his real-life busyness making him want to take a more passive role in the RP while he deals with out-of-RP stuff. It's really hard to say from the outside, so like kevintheradioguy says, the best solution is to talk to him and see just where the problem is, or even if there's a problem.

 

[Ludwig]

Like keeping up with three different TV shows at the same time, if that helps?

That's actually a great way to understand it.

 

[Idea]

It's actually quite common to have several RPs going at the same time, without necessarily losing your dedication to any. This allows you to explore several ideas at once, helping to not get tired of any by having some variety (nomatter how good a meal is, if it's the only thing you eat you're going to get tired of it, not to mention lack nutrition that specific meal doesn't provide), and it creates a contingency should players take longer to post or something happen that kills the roleplay, from ghosting to a medical accident.

I for instance tend to give my partners a LOT of leeway when it comes to when they post (sometimes months apart) and so I can afford to juggle a larger number of roleplays.

Of course, for every good case, there's also a few cases of people who genuinely have trouble staying in one RP or who can't help themselves joining new ones.

It has already been said, you should talk to your partner to see which situation you're in. With more experience, you'll probably also start being able to get a better feel for it (note: it is because you aren't certain yet that I am assuming you lack said experience), but even then, the best way to go about it is generally to ask and work it out together.

As for how to start the conversation...

"Hey there! So I've noticed you've been joining some other RPs. Are you still interested in ours?"

that message seems simple, but people will usually explain their situation after reading it.

I always find myself dedicated to things, putting in as much effort to get people to join, make things as realistic and enjoyable. Am I expecting too much?

Yes and no. Putting in effort isn't expecting too much, though you shouldn't expect those efforts to be returned most of the time. Unfortunately there are many, many paths for failure and very few paths to success. You're going to end up in a bad spot if you go around expecting success. Instead you should try to focus on ways to make even failure worth it.

 

[Beckoncall]

Don’t sweat it. Some people pour themselves into one Rp, (like you and me) and some people find it possible to enjoy several. Especially players vs. GMs as players have a lot less to do/responsibilities in many rps. If you feel like your game isn’t vital enough with the people you have, by all means get more people! I usually have hardcore people who play with me and some people who are more casual... and some people are just better at keeping track of stuff.

 

[MDL]

Classic case of taking on more than you can chew. Indecision is common in these circles and loyalty is pretty rare. But some people can swing it.