Futuristic Project Griffin Official CS area

[Jarkov Malachai]

Corrected spelling errors, yet I saw so many issues with this application. Where did the xenophobia come from? Humanity should be united against the paranormals, meaning no room for subtle or overt racism. While child soldiers do happen, they aren't the primary killing force by any means. This RP is meant to be believable and grounded in real life, so the scenarios you presented at at most unlikely to happen. The bio is unclear in the timeline of events to the point I could not make heads or tails out of it. Also, a soldier would not be let go in the first place and the fact that paranormals took over would be known as soon as after they succeeded. Not to mention that South Africa is actually well developed, among the top ten countries in Africa. Humans aren't video game characters; a child's mind would be too fragile in the first place, warping near instantly with the events.

The bottom line is that I'm not accepting this one.



You didn't have to go full hog on this by any means. I didn't see any use of putting up irrelevant information. I saw minimal (if any) details pertaining to the RP. Seems more like an OC that was just thrown in. I personally could not make heads or tails out of this application. Somewhat too bizarre for me to accept.

I am afraid I dont know much about what you mean by full hog, but any who I didnt put much detail pertaining to the rp itself because I dont know ANYTHING about the rp setting as of yet whatsoever save the most basic of details. What city the characters are all around or even what country for petes sake. Whats the general publics state of mind? Do they care about the new regimes rise to power? How is said regime affecting the global status quo? How is it changing things?
All I know is that there is a alien or otherworldly power that has risen to control the government through well coordinated coups and under handed methods but not ANYTHING at all of what they are actually doing or changing.
Literally all I have to go on is theres some aliens/otherworlders that took over the planet and humanity decides ten years later its time to fight back...
WHY? You've given me no negative reasons at all to go off of to make a rebel character save they have nefarious plans for humanity and while I know what they are it doesnt say they've done anything yet to put them into motion. Have they started enslaving people yet? Eating them? I need something man.

Hence forth mine character, a semi average joe that wants to be left alone and has little stake in either side as of the moment because throwing my character into the thick of a almost guaranteed cluster fuck with permadeath isnt my idea of a good idea. If its the character himself thats the problem I could fix that should you point out what you feel is the problem with little difficulty for the whole OC was designed so that I could change it and add it into relatively any scenario or situation the rp is taking place but, it is your rp after all.

 

[DerUbermensch]

I am afraid I don't know much about what you mean by full hog, but any who I didn't put much detail pertaining to the RP itself because I don't know ANYTHING about the RP setting as of yet whatsoever save the most basic of details. What city the characters are all around or even what country for Pete's sake. Whats the general publics state of mind? Do they care about the new regimes rise to power? How is said regime affecting the global status quo? How is it changing things?
All I know is that there is a alien or otherworldly power that has risen to control the government through well coordinated coups and under handed methods but not ANYTHING at all of what they are actually doing or changing.
Literally all I have to go on is theres some aliens/otherworlders that took over the planet and humanity decides ten years later its time to fight back...
WHY? You've given me no negative reasons at all to go off of to make a rebel character save they have nefarious plans for humanity and while I know what they are it doesnt say they've done anything yet to put them into motion. Have they started enslaving people yet? Eating them? I need something man.

Hence forth mine character, a semi average joe that wants to be left alone and has little stake in either side as of the moment because throwing my character into the thick of a almost guaranteed cluster fuck with permadeath isn't my idea of a good idea. If its the character himself thats the problem I could fix that should you point out what you feel is the problem with little difficulty for the whole OC was designed so that I could change it and add it into relatively any scenario or situation the RP is taking place but, it is your RP after all.

I'd like to clarify that the paranormal entities (we'll call them Xenos from now on to illustrate their alien/strange nature) as well as the puppet government (Emergence Entity) put up aren't necessarily killing off humanity. They're users rather than murderous monsters, manipulating minds mainly (IE: playing humanity as puppets). Excuse the lack of explicit wording, I was just trying to avoid spoiling the plot for everyone.

For the application itself, if you can give it a trim and make it a little bit more vague or general, I will indeed accept it actually. A bit of advice is that characters that don't talk will be a bit of a difficult task to do. Perhaps gestures and sign language can be helpful in communication. Though keep in mind your character can only carry so much signs. But when in doubt, ask me questions and I can lend a hand or two.

 

[Blitzer]

Corrected spelling errors, yet I saw so many issues with this application. Where did the xenophobia come from? Humanity should be united against the paranormals, meaning no room for subtle or overt racism. While child soldiers do happen, they aren't the primary killing force by any means. This RP is meant to be believable and grounded in real life, so the scenarios you presented at at most unlikely to happen. The bio is unclear in the time-line of events to the point I could not make heads or tails out of it. Also, a soldier would not be let go in the first place and the fact that paranormals took over would be known as soon as after they succeeded. Not to mention that South Africa is actually well developed, among the top ten countries in Africa. Humans aren't video game characters; a child's mind would be too fragile in the first place, warping near instantly with the events.

Bottom line: I'm sorry, but I cannot accept this one..

Well I'd like to explain a few things. Currently Xenophobia is very strong in South Africa. If you don't believe me then just look it up. Xenophobia probably would grow stronger, not to mention racism in South Africa if there were an alien take over. Child soldier often are used as recon, disposable troops. And two, he was sold into the interior, DR Kongo area. I will edit it quite a bit. I kinda wrote it in a rush.

And edited.

 

[DerUbermensch]

Well I'd like to explain a few things. Currently Xenophobia is very strong in South Africa. If you don't believe me then just look it up. Xenophobia probably would grow stronger, not to mention racism in South Africa if there were an alien take over. Child soldier often are used as recon, disposable troops. And two, he was sold into the interior, DR Kongo area. I will edit it quite a bit. I kinda wrote it in a rush.

And edited.

I looked at the new draft and still found it to be unbelievable. It would be better if you would scrap it and start with a new one with a semblance of reality. This will be your last chance. If you refuse to comply or fail at the request I ask, it'll be a no-go.

 

[Blitzer]

I looked at the new draft and still found it to be unbelievable. It would be better if you would scrap it and start with a new one with a semblance of reality. This will be your last chance. If you refuse to comply or fail at the request I ask, it'll be a no-go.

Done.

 

[DerUbermensch]

Done.

Reviewed it. Much better. Though there are typos, quirks, and some questions I want to ask. Was your character a city slicker in Russia? Russia would allow plenty of nature unless he was a city slicker.

Also, being discharged for knowing secrets would be odd (militaries don't simply discharge just for knowing secrets; there must be other reasons) and overall doesn't seem to add up to the premise. Was his time in the military pre-2020 contact or post-2020 contact? Was his parents in their political careers before or after the contact? Another question I have is: When and how did he find Project Griffin? It formed circa 2030. Yes, that's the actual name.

 

[Blitzer]

Reviewed it. Much better. Though there are typos, quirks, and some questions I want to ask. Was your character a city slicker in Russia? Russia would allow plenty of nature unless he was a city slicker.

Also, being discharged for knowing secrets would be odd (militaries don't simply discharge just for knowing secrets; there must be other reasons) and overall doesn't seem to add up to the premise. Was his time in the military pre-2020 contact or post-2020 contact? Was his parents in their political careers before or after the contact? Another question I have is: When and how did he find Project Griffin? It formed circa 2030. Yes, that's the actual name.

Post contact, as in time when Aliens started to actually gain power. I imagine he was poking around too much in someone business who was an alien, or at least alien controlled and got kicked out on trumped up charges.

Also I imagine his parents living in Moscow and being very busy. It would be a massive change from living in the outbacks wher nature is everywhere.

 

[DerUbermensch]

Post contact, as in time when Aliens started to actually gain power. I imagine he was poking around too much in someone business who was an alien, or at least alien controlled and got kicked out on trumped up charges.

Also I imagine his parents living in Moscow and being very busy. It would be a massive change from living in the outbacks wher nature is everywhere.

While you didn't answer my last question, I'll condone that. You're in.

 

[Blitzer]

While you didn't answer my last question, I'll condone that. You're in.

Oh sorry. He was recruited by an agent that noticed how he was researching continuously aliens and kept over lapping on his research.

 

[Imperator_tenebrae]

Name: Edmund “Old Man” Connors

Country of origin: United States

Class: Mission Command/Deadeye

Appearance: Edmund is a 54 year-old Caucasian male with a grizzled appearance from a long military career. Standing around 5’ 10” he is often seen with a cigar in his mouth and barking orders in his booming gravelly voice that would give some drill instructors a complex. Even though he is part of mission command he does not fret over a uniform, instead he is seen in classic combat fatigues and vest festooned with pockets to keep various devices on hand and his trusty pistol at his waist.

Bio: Born in a small southern town in Virginia and the youngest of three children, Edmund had a normal life until he joined the military when he became of age and went into the USMC. Over the years he found his calling as a sniper and went into countless counter insurgency missions with the second most confirmed kills in the Corp’s history. Having spent most of his young years in the military he could not see himself adapting well to civilian life after suffering two divorces and relationships with his siblings deteriorating due to different beliefs and petty politics. Edmund became an instructor and got a desk job to be a tactical advisor to put off retirement as long as he could.

As cynical as anyone can get, he saw the formation of the Emergence Entity as a blessing in disguise. He was drafted into a syndicate of mercenaries, military minds, criminal misfits, assassin guilds and even occultists to combat the insidious and subversive nature of the Emergence Entity in their plans for a paranormal hostile takeover of the planet.

Over time this syndicate he was part of for a few years eventually became what is known as the Griffin organization. Although not a founding member, he was instrumental in developing the field operations to combat the paranormal entities and a liaison to mission command.

Personality: Edmund is a reserved individual as he mellowed with age but has not dulled his ability to be a total ball buster when he has to be. As stoic as he is pragmatic, Edmund can be exceedingly stern and very rigid in his methods which at times have caused problems with fellow officers in mission command and his grumblings are akin to an old man’s, hence his moniker.


Name: Slayne, others simply call him by his callsign “Murder”

Country of origin: Unknown although verbatim accords indicate he is from the United States

Class: Commando

Appearance: Slayne is a 25 year-old Caucasian male with the visage of uncontrollable rage and bloodlust without the tattoos on his face. Standing at 6’2” he is a pale individual, bald and has cold blue eyes and hard muscled. He has various tattoos of effigies of death such as a large red skull on his back and the rest of his body marked as if he wears his skeleton on his skin. Slayne has his face to look like a skull done shortly after he joined the Griffin organization.

Bio: As a victim of the Emergency Entity’s systematic purges his records of his existence has been expunged by the entities. What he told Griffin organization officially that he was born somewhere in the southeastern US. He has refrained to discuss his personal life other than he escaped from a horrid paranormal prison where they experimented on humans which may explain his psychiatric record.

Personality: Slayne is obsessed making himself a more effective killing machine. He is not much of a talker and if anything he is a very quiet person when not on mission. Few can attest he has a split personality on and off the field where as he is a uncontrollable berserker on the field and when off the field he is a reserved person who goes out of his way to avoid conversation and being around people in general.


Name: Argyle McWallan

Country of origin: Scotland

Class: Scientist/Mission Command

Appearance: Argyle is a 32 year-old Caucasian male standing at a modest 5’ 6” and often seen with glasses with a built-in HUD to his many smart devices he has on hand. He is always wearing various combinations of khakis, button-up shirts and converse shoes and wears a flat cap to cover his already thinning hair.

Bio: Born in Edinburg Scotland and the oldest sibling in a family of four, Argyle was something of a prodigy as he built his first robot at age seven and written over a dozen innovative programs used by most Fortune 500 companies by the time he was in middle school. He graduated the top of his class in Glasgow University and attended dozens of other Universities across Europe and some in the United States and became the founder of “parallel physics” coincidentally a year before the paranormals appeared.

Personality: Despite his rather diminutive stature his demeanor more than makes up for it and his attitude. Argyle is often made fun of for having “little man syndrome” by his peers and rivals alike and can have a bad temper in the labs when someone screws up a procedure. He has little patience for people and incompetence and when machines aren’t properly prepared. There are many times people in the labs would have to leave their stations doubled over in laughter and in fear when Argyle has one of his infamous meltdowns when he starts shouting in such a thick Scottish brogue he is difficult to understand at times.

 

[DerUbermensch]

Name: Edmund “Old Man” Connors

Country of origin: United States

Class: Mission Command/Deadeye

Appearance: Edmund is a 54 year-old Caucasian male with a grizzled appearance from a long military career. Standing around 5’ 10” he is often seen with a cigar in his mouth and barking orders in his booming gravelly voice that would give some drill instructors a complex. Even though he is part of mission command he does not fret over a uniform, instead he is seen in classic combat fatigues and vest festooned with pockets to keep various devices on hand and his trusty pistol at his waist.

Bio: Born in a small southern town in Virginia and the youngest of three children, Edmund had a normal life until he joined the military when he became of age and went into the USMC. Over the years he found his calling as a sniper and went into countless counter insurgency missions with the second most confirmed kills in the Corp’s history. Having spent most of his young years in the military he could not see himself adapting well to civilian life after suffering two divorces and relationships with his siblings deteriorating due to different beliefs and petty politics. Edmund became an instructor and got a desk job to be a tactical advisor to put off retirement as long as he could.

As cynical as anyone can get, he saw the formation of the Emergence Entity as a blessing in disguise. He was drafted into a syndicate of mercenaries, military minds, criminal misfits, assassin guilds and even occultists to combat the insidious and subversive nature of the Emergence Entity in their plans for a paranormal hostile takeover of the planet.

Over time this syndicate he was part of for a few years eventually became what is known as the Griffin organization. Although not a founding member, he was instrumental in developing the field operations to combat the paranormal entities and a liaison to mission command.

Personality: Edmund is a reserved individual as he mellowed with age but has not dulled his ability to be a total ball buster when he has to be. As stoic as he is pragmatic, Edmund can be exceedingly stern and very rigid in his methods which at times have caused problems with fellow officers in mission command and his grumblings are akin to an old man’s, hence his moniker.


Name: Slayne, others simply call him by his callsign “Murder”

Country of origin: Unknown although verbatim accords indicate he is from the United States

Class: Commando

Appearance: Slayne is a 25 year-old Caucasian male with the visage of uncontrollable rage and bloodlust without the tattoos on his face. Standing at 6’2” he is a pale individual, bald and has cold blue eyes and hard muscled. He has various tattoos of effigies of death such as a large red skull on his back and the rest of his body marked as if he wears his skeleton on his skin. Slayne has his face to look like a skull done shortly after he joined the Griffin organization.

Bio: As a victim of the Emergency Entity’s systematic purges his records of his existence has been expunged by the entities. What he told Griffin organization officially that he was born somewhere in the southeastern US. He has refrained to discuss his personal life other than he escaped from a horrid paranormal prison where they experimented on humans which may explain his psychiatric record.

Personality: Slayne is obsessed making himself a more effective killing machine. He is not much of a talker and if anything he is a very quiet person when not on mission. Few can attest he has a split personality on and off the field where as he is a uncontrollable berserker on the field and when off the field he is a reserved person who goes out of his way to avoid conversation and being around people in general.


Name: Argyle McWallan

Country of origin: Scotland

Class: Scientist/Mission Command

Appearance: Argyle is a 32 year-old Caucasian male standing at a modest 5’ 6” and often seen with glasses with a built-in HUD to his many smart devices he has on hand. He is always wearing various combinations of khakis, button-up shirts and converse shoes and wears a flat cap to cover his already thinning hair.

Bio: Born in Edinburg Scotland and the oldest sibling in a family of four, Argyle was something of a prodigy as he built his first robot at age seven and written over a dozen innovative programs used by most Fortune 500 companies by the time he was in middle school. He graduated the top of his class in Glasgow University and attended dozens of other Universities across Europe and some in the United States and became the founder of “parallel physics” coincidentally a year before the paranormals appeared.

Personality: Despite his rather diminutive stature his demeanor more than makes up for it and his attitude. Argyle is often made fun of for having “little man syndrome” by his peers and rivals alike and can have a bad temper in the labs when someone screws up a procedure. He has little patience for people and incompetence and when machines aren’t properly prepared. There are many times people in the labs would have to leave their stations doubled over in laughter and in fear when Argyle has one of his infamous meltdowns when he starts shouting in such a thick Scottish brogue he is difficult to understand at times.

Thanks for providing us a potential chief scientist. All look excellent. You're in. Have fun and make sure Slayne is our Captain Ahab.

 

[Elucid]

Name: Simãuñ Carvalho

Country of origin: India

Class (AKA Specialty): Apothecary / Medic

Appearance:

Bio:
Simãuñ was born into a comparatively well off family in southern India where his father owned a local business while his mother contributed to the household income by working at a nearby hospital. It was at his mother's workplace that Simãuñ was first introduced to the profession he would later pursue , everyday after school little Simãuñ would join his mother at the hospital until after her shift finished sometimes even helping her out in his own way. Having first hand experience in how a hospital worked and how doctors did their jobs not only added to his knowledge but also helped garner love for the subject . Simãuñ was by all accounts was a good and hard working student which is why it was no surprise that he was able to get a scholarship to study Medicine at the University of Toronto.

After gaining his MD form Toronto Simãuñ was persuaded by his father to join an organisation like the WHO instead of starting his own practice , which is exactly what he did. Stationed first in Nigeria and then is Chad Simãuñ had soon gained a reputation as an authority on air borne diseases which is one of the reasons behind him being recruited by the Center Of Disease Conrol (CDC) in Atlanta , Georgia.

Not long after , first contact was made and in the confusion that followed Simãuñ was one of few people who remained unswayed by the miracles the aliens could seemingly perform especially because no information was given as to how exactly these cures worked. Being in the CDC , Simãuñ and a few others were able to get basic access in the form of a small tour into a "miracle cure" facility , sneaking away from the main body Simãuñ was able to collect pictures and steal important documents that seemingly proved that the Aliens were probing those sick with disease and releasing them into society as a shell of their formal self and calling it "rehabilitation". Simãuñ and his compatriots made sure to post their findings anywhere they could - medical journals , news agencies and even the internet writing their names into the report to add to its authenticity ,however inexplicably their finding and those associated with it simply disappeared one by one he lost all contact with his friends from the CDC , he finally understood what was happening when they came for him.

What happened after the Xenos attacked is a blur , if he had to guess it involved a lot of shooting fortunately however it seems the members of the Griffin Project had come just in time, it turns out they were able to get a hold of the "evidence" Simãuñ had gathered and came as soon as they could to save him . That day Simãuñ joined the GP vowing to take the fight to the Xenos and stop their occupation of earth and he's never looked back since.

Personality:
Simãuñ is generally a fun person to be around , he doesn't take himself too seriously and unlike others isn't always going on and on about the Xeno threat. Besides being a good drinking buddy Simãuñ is also selfless often putting his life on the line to save another's , all in all he's a good sobering element in the team which is something everyone needs.

 

[DerUbermensch]

Name: Simãuñ Carvalho

Country of origin: India

Class (AKA Specialty): Apothecary / Medic

Appearance:

Bio:
Simãuñ was born into a comparatively well off family in southern India where his father owned a local business while his mother contributed to the household income by working at a nearby hospital. It was at his mother's workplace that Simãuñ was first introduced to the profession he would later pursue , everyday after school little Simãuñ would join his mother at the hospital until after her shift finished sometimes even helping her out in his own way. Having first hand experience in how a hospital worked and how doctors did their jobs not only added to his knowledge but also helped garner love for the subject . Simãuñ was by all accounts was a good and hard working student which is why it was no surprise that he was able to get a scholarship to study Medicine at the University of Toronto.

After gaining his MD form Toronto Simãuñ was persuaded by his father to join an organisation like the WHO instead of starting his own practice , which is exactly what he did. Stationed first in Nigeria and then is Chad Simãuñ had soon gained a reputation as an authority on air borne diseases which is one of the reasons behind him being recruited by the Center Of Disease Conrol (CDC) in Atlanta , Georgia.

Not long after , first contact was made and in the confusion that followed Simãuñ was one of few people who remained unswayed by the miracles the aliens could seemingly perform especially because no information was given as to how exactly these cures worked. Being in the CDC , Simãuñ and a few others were able to get basic access in the form of a small tour into a "miracle cure" facility , sneaking away from the main body Simãuñ was able to collect pictures and steal important documents that seemingly proved that the Aliens were probing those sick with disease and releasing them into society as a shell of their formal self and calling it "rehabilitation". Simãuñ and his compatriots made sure to post their findings anywhere they could - medical journals , news agencies and even the internet writing their names into the report to add to its authenticity ,however inexplicably their finding and those associated with it simply disappeared one by one he lost all contact with his friends from the CDC , he finally understood what was happening when they came for him.

What happened after the Xenos attacked is a blur , if he had to guess it involved a lot of shooting fortunately however it seems the members of the Griffin Project had come just in time, it turns out they were able to get a hold of the "evidence" Simãuñ had gathered and came as soon as they could to save him . That day Simãuñ joined the GP vowing to take the fight to the Xenos and stop their occupation of earth and he's never looked back since.

Personality:
Simãuñ is generally a fun person to be around , he doesn't take himself too seriously and unlike others isn't always going on and on about the Xeno threat. Besides being a good drinking buddy Simãuñ is also selfless often putting his life on the line to save an others all in all he's a good sobering element in the team which is something everyone needs.

You're in. His personality also infers a good bedside manner too. Not too many medics here have that. That's a plus!