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Fantasy Primacy [Closed]

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Tamsin frowned at the silence of the town. It was still a port town, there would still be business, but she imagined the reputation of the plague that decimated it years earlier drove many merchants away for some time.

It was tragic, to see how things have changed.

“There should be an inn not too far from here, with a horse stable right next to it,” she said as she started to lead them off, with a snort from Luna.

A few people did linger on the streets. No one she immediately knew or remembered, but they did spare a glance at the passing visitors who looked travel weary.

It wasn’t long before they came across the horse stable first, and a young boy, barely into his adolescence, gave them a smile, but Varick a lingering, slightly wary, glance. “How can I help you two?”

“We need two stalls, please.”

~~~

Malina first stared at the hand that dared to enter her space, then her eyes traveled up the arm to lazily gaze upon Kirsikka, really the last person she wanted to see right then.

But that damned woman didn’t know when to quit.

Bringing her mug up to her lips, she scoffed into her drink before taking a large gulp. Nothing was deadening the pain, but damn if she wasn’t going to try. “No more point in fighting you,” she admitted. While her hatred of Kirsikka did run deep, she only tried capturing the woman because of the Council. Otherwise, she was happy in pretending that the red-headed bitch never existed.

“What idiotic plan are you scheming?” She was almost certain Kirsikka wanted to go back and defeat…whatever that thing was. Whatever it is that’s the mastermind behind everything. But Malina didn’t even know what that was anymore. Wasn’t everything just simply a lie, and she was the fool to fall for it?
 
The wary gaze of the boy was not a surprise to Varick. The adolescence heard what Tamsin said, but he still seemed to hesitate. “I’m not here on business,” Varick said lowly, “your town is fine. I’m just on my way to the next.” He sounded tired saying it. Reassuring people he wasn’t there for their home was tiring.

Knowing he wasn’t even wanted in peacetime, more so. He wasn’t allowed to just lay his head wherever. That was clear, even though the boy still nodded, “Right. Okay. I’m sure we have a couple of rooms, but you’ll have to go check with my ma,” he said, “but I can take the horses.”

Varick allowed Marzipan into the boy’s hands, and added a silver coin for the trouble. The boy wasn’t being…well, too rude. And he was a kid. Varick could forgive wariness there, no matter how exhausting.

“I can wait outside while you check,” it was easier for Tamsin to get things done without his presence, after all – and they needed the rooms so that she could go through the town and look for clues to her past, if any were to be found. He had to hope. He didn’t want to pin all his answers on Dravon and…whatever he had become.

Or any of Dravon’s friends.

~***~

‘Good.’ Malina didn’t want to fight anymore, and Kirsikka was willing to believe that, given how…utterly passionless she was. Her anger was there, but it was unlike any that Kirsikka was accustomed to seeing. In a way, that made it all the more reliable, and so Kirsikka lifted her hand away, intending to turn away and leave Malina to her suffering.

She had no more need of her. Their ties could break here.

Or, so she hoped, but Malina had another damned question to ask about all of this, because of course she did. “What does it matter to you?” Kirsikka asked, although she knew the answer, “You don’t have to be involved anymore,” so she didn’t need to know, “whatever idiocy I get up to is my own.”

Her own grave to dig.

Malina had no reason to join her, and yet…well, hadn’t she just learned everything she’d been taught was a lie? And so Kirsikka was now the only honest thing…what a terrible fate, really. Kirsikka didn’t envy it.

She also didn’t want Malina hanging around, but she wasn’t having good luck at getting rid of unwitting companions.
 
Tamsin’s heart broke for Varick in the realization of what was going on. The boy’s wariness of the Primal. Varick’s continuing reassurance that she had heard many times before. Would he ever have a chance to know peace before he was dead?

The boy took Marzipan and Luna into the stable with a quick glance back at the couple. Tamsin gave him a reassuring, and hopefully comforting, smile, before she turned back to Varick. “This town is normally accepting when it comes to strangers and newcomers, due to the port.” At least, it had been before she left, before the Red Whisper decimated the population and closed the port for…she wasn’t sure how long.

She took a deep breath and smoothed down a nonexistent wrinkle on Varick’s tunic. “I know you’re used to people treating you that way, but I hate seeing it. It’s not fair.” But when was life fair?

It was only fair to those least deserving of it.

She wiped the sorrow from her face and smiled up at Varick. “I’ll go get us a room and be right back,” she said with a wink. While there were many benefits to being in a relationship with him, sharing a room and allowing them both to save coins was definitely one of the better ones.

She left his side and entered the inn. A few people lingered at the tables with mugs filled with no doubt ale, or another drink of choice, and Tamsin could tell a few of them were sailors, based on their clothes and sunkissed skin. A buxom woman, whose few grey streaks in her dark hair betrayed her age, stood at the counter, wiping it down, but she looked up as Tamsin crossed the threshold. "How can I help ya miss?"

"I need a room for a night or two, although if you're looking for some entertainment, I can provide that as well," Tamsin answered with a friendly grin.

~~~

Malina stared up at Kirsikka, the flame that had been extinguished in her eyes flicking back to life. She leaned forward in her seat. “It matters to me, because if you’re planning on killing that thing,” she spat out, “I want a front row seat to its pyre.” Really, Malina wanted to see its destruction in the slowest and most painful manner possible, but in the end, she just wanted to see it dead. Completely gone from the world and all of its blind disciples who willingly spread its false prophecy.

Who lied to her for years.

“And I know for a fact you two can’t do this on your own,” she added with a scoff, glancing back and forth between Kirsikka and Drazhan. “A mage and a Primal. A unique pairing that already makes you stand out and easy to find,” like when she was hunting them down, “but hardly enough to kill that thing.”

Kirsikka may be arrogant enough to think herself powerful enough, but Malina knew she was just foolish.

Drazhan made a noise of derision. “We hardly need your help.”

“Then you’re already dead.”
 
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Varick could only shrug at Tamsin’s issues with the situation. Of course it was an accepting port town…but not of Primals. Primals weren’t traders coming from over the seas to buy and sell goods. They weren’t even tourists come to help the town make money. They were there because there was a problem. ‘It would be the same of a band of mercenaries, if they were as obvious.’ But mercenaries could look like anyone.

He couldn’t.

He only gave a bit of a half-smile at her attempted reassurance, and nodded as she promised to go get a room. He would, indeed, wait outside for her to return, and not trail her inside. He glanced around the town, and looked out towards the ocean, and the ships. Not that there were many that seemed new.

The Red Whisper had not at all been kind to this town.

“Varick?”

A voice caught his attention, and he looked towards an older woman. He didn’t recognize her face, but it lit up when he gave her his attention, “Oh, it is you! You probably don’t remember me – you saved my girl all those years ago,” she approached him, “You look almost the same…oh but…what are you doing here?”

“It’s not business,” he said, again, but his expression softened a bit, “I’m on my way elsewhere, but the event from those years ago seemed related. Was hoping I might find someone from back then still around.”

“Well, you did,” she said, “I’m Dorine by the way,” she added, “My daughter, Terese, is still in town – you’ll have to meet her – but I’m not sure I can help you with anything. We barely knew what was going on then, and then all of a sudden it was over….”

Varick smiled and nodded, “I know. Fool’s errand but you can’t blame me for trying if it could help more people.”

~***~

‘When have I ever cared what you wanted?’

Kirsikka didn’t need Malina. Dravon had told her all she needed in the brief moment they’d had, and so she scoffed at Malina’s offer to be there. Not that it’d be bad to have something to throw at the White Sun, something to die first, but she didn’t like Malina, and she didn’t need more people traveling with her that she didn’t want around.

She already had one of those.

Two, if she counted herself, but that was inevitable.

“I’ve been dead for two years, Malina,” Kirsikka said flatly, even though they both knew that wasn’t exactly true. It was true in many ways that mattered, “and Dravon told me enough to know how to deal with that thing,” she didn’t know how much Malina overheard, but she knew Malina didn’t understand.

Of course, there was an addition to that: the other dream, the one of an icy hellscape. So far, the only person who had been able to withstand the ice, when she’d thrown it, had been Malina.

If that future came to be…

Kirsikka sighed and pushed a hand up into the mess that was her hair, “However, I know the stakes if I fail and I’d rather not see the world turn into an icy hellscape, so while I loathe the thought of traveling with you, I loathe it less than that, and you’re the only one who seems able to put up a powerful enough force to stop the ice. So you’ll have to come along to kill me if I fail, and make sure I stay dead.”

Unlike Dravon.
 
The innkeeper glanced up and down at Tamsin. “We ‘ave plenty of room here, but it has been quite a while since we had entertainment here.” Tamsin briefly wondered if that was the case for all of the inns in town, or if this one was just lucky. “I can give you a warm meal and a mug full of your choice of drink in exchange for a performance.”

That wasn’t too bad, but Tamsin was hoping to save a bit more on the room. Or if she could work in Varick getting a free meal as well.

“But if you can somehow draw in more people, or get the same people who come every night to drink even more than usual, hell, I’ll give you a room for free.”

At her stroke of luck, Tamsin grinned and nodded. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Oh no, don’t ma’am me. Just call me Isabelle.”

Tamsin nodded and after exchanging some coin for her room key, she gave Isabelle a quick and friendly goodbye before going outside to meet back up with Varick. At least he didn’t have to wait too long for her.

Nor did he have to wait alone.

Tamsin furrowed her brows, wondering briefly what was going on, before recognition flared and a smile blossomed across her face. An old family friend, and someone who once lived near her house. “Dorine, is that you?”

~~~

Malina scoffed at Kirsikka’s declaration that she had been dead for two years. Hardly true, which should have infuriated her, given the Council’s task to find her and kill her for what she had done, but instead, she just found that she…didn’t care.

The only thing she cared about was destroying everything she once believed from a foolish lie.

Would killing Kirsikka even satisfy her any more, or would it just merely release her from the woman’s annoying attitude? Well, why can’t it be both.

Drazhan looked somewhat alarmed that Kirsikka was actually considering letting Malina come along. Sure, he could probably see her logic in it if he actually stopped to think about it, but he didn’t want to. Malina had been trying to kill them for a while now, and of course he would never forgive her for what had happened to Sophia.

It would take every ounce of willpower to not run his blade through her.

Malina narrowed her eyes in slight concentration as she regarded Kirsikka’s words, and thought back to what the dead mage said to her, what she had overheard. She might not have understood it, but she did understand that Kirsikka needed to find someone. “Oh, I get to have the job of killing you? Must be my lucky day,” she smirked, but the expression hardly reached her eyes.

She didn’t even care.

“You need to find someone, don’t you?” she asked before tipping back the rest of her drink in one gulp. “You need a place to scry.” There was a brief groan. "I may know somewhere to go where the Council of Light shouldn't be a bother."
 
Dorine turned at the sound of her name, brief confusion flitting onto her expression as her gaze rested upon Tamsin. “Yes…,” she answered, trying to puzzle out who was speaking to her, before it obviously hit her. “Tamsin? Tamsin is that you? Oh! I barely recognized you, it’s been so long since you’ve been here!”

Not that Dorine didn’t know why, nor did she blame Tamsin. She had been fortunate, almost untouched by the Red Whisper. Many of the others hadn’t been, and the survivors, in many cases, left. Those who stayed, still seemed like ghosts of their former selves, even if they had moved on, and gotten back into the swing of things.

That’s what living in the house where loved ones died, did, though.

“What are you doing back here, Tamsin?” she asked, “Oh, you’ll have to come by and see Therese! We can prepare a dinner so you don’t have to eat at the inn,” of course, Dorine was blissfully unaware of what Tamsin did, or what she’d already arranged with the innkeeper. Or even that she would have a guest, even if Varick didn’t step away from the group that had formed.

She was just lost in the initial sight of an old friend.

~***~

Drazhan felt surprise, but Malina was clearly feeling nothing. It didn’t surprise Kirsikka. She was still, quite often, in that situation herself. That didn’t inspire any pity, or even sympathy, for Malina. All it really inspired was trust, queer as it was, because Kirsikka knew what that deadened state led to so far as motivation and ambition for One Thing.

Malina now shared Kirsikka’s One Thing: ruin the Council of Light.

Only then could either of the rest in peace, so to speak. Until then, Kirsikka didn’t really think either of them were much better than the dead.

That didn’t mean she was going to jump at every idea Malina had as a good one, and so she frowned at her statement, disregarding Drazhan’s silent irritation with everything. “I don’t need a place,” protected ground took too long to make, mostly. Longer than it would take to make a disguise or enchant and protect a mirror, at any rate.

Protected Ground was also hard to get to, unless you knew the password or had a key. She knew one place she could access, and she hadn’t gone there since…well, since the obvious. She’d been furious with the owner for not partaking in the battle. She’d been furious with herself, too. And, of course, then she’d just been unsure what side they were on, if any.

And she’d been guilt-ridden.

Which, she realized after a second, was the same place Malina was referring to. “No.” She said as soon as realization hit. “Absolutely not, I’m still pissed at him for having no hills to die on.” She was pissed at him for not picking her hill to die on – even if it wasn’t to save the Ordo Sors, she was pissed he wasn’t standing up against the Council of Light at all and letting them just…wash over the continent.

She was pretty sure that had been their last argument before she marched to her death.
 
Tamsin smiled as she watched the recognition flicker on Dorine’s face, and she stepped forward to give the older woman a brief hug. It felt great to see a familiar face so soon. “It’s been nearly eleven years since I’ve been back.”

And while it may have been her home, it felt odd calling it that in her head. There were still plenty of friends and acquaintances willing to help out where needed, but without her parents there, it almost felt like any other town she had visited on her journey.

“Oh, it’s a long story why I’m back, and unfortunately, I’ll only be here for a few days at most.” Maybe even leaving the next day, depending on how things turned out, but she wouldn’t go into the details just then. Dorine didn’t need to know.

“As for dinner, I already have plans for the evening, but I’m sure we can meet up tomorrow. I would love to hear what Therese is up to these days.” To see if all the kids she grew up with were no married and forming families of their own, if Tamsin was the odd one out in her bard journey.

~~~

Malina allowed Kirsikka a moment to process her plan, watching the shifting emotions flicker over her face until realization hit. It wasn’t exactly a place she didn’t want to go to either, but now with nowhere else to go, as she couldn’t willingly return to the lie that was once her life, it was the only place she could think of that would be safe for her.

And for Kirsikka and Drazhan.

“Believe me, I’ve been angry at him for a long time too, but unless you know of anywhere else, he’s our only bet, and he’s the only one that would allow us both in.”

“Wait,” Drazhan interrupted, still clearly irritated, “who are we talking about?” He was the only one left out of the loop, and it was beginning to grate on his nerves. Or maybe it was just Malina.

She sighed, as if the answer should have been obvious. “My brother, Mikhail.”
 
Dorine looked disappointed at Tamsin’s denial of dinner, “Oh, of course - I’m glad you have things sorted,” which, she was, even if it meant the lack of company. It also meant the lack of setting up for a guest, so that helped! “You can definitely come by anytime while you’re in town, I haven’t moved,” she chuckled, “and Therese is still with me.”

Even if she had her own life, it was good to invest in the home you had, and so Therese hadn’t left despite all the changes. It was pleasant that way, and it’d been easy to add additions for Therese and her family, too.

Another of the positives of living here – it had gotten cheaper to do so!

“I’ll let you enjoy your stay – oh, and you should thank this man. He saved you when you were an infant.”

“She knows,” Varick said, unable to help the slight twitch of amusement. “We’re traveling together.”

“Oh!” Dorine was surprised. “I hope it’s nothing serious…you’re not cursed, are you, dear?” Why else would Tamsin travel with a Primal unless it was a curse situation?

~***~

Malina being upset was another non-surprise. Mikhail hadn’t chosen her side of the war, either. Of course, if he had, he might have been dead at Mont Pellinor. Kirsikka didn’t exactly look for friends amidst the combatants. Anyone on that side had lost their right to call themselves her friend.

Somehow, Kirsikka would have respected Mikhail more if he had chosen that side, all the same.

“He’s a coward who’s remained neutral through everything, despite the Council of Light condemning any magical practitioner outside of their ranks to death.” By default, Mikhail. That he had survived this long was no doubt thanks in part to Malina being unable to do her own brother harm, so she never revealed him, and never attacked him.

“Before that,” Kirsikka shrugged and stepped away from both Drazhan and Malina, “he was a friend. Now…well, I suppose he’ll let me work on his grounds,” she didn’t…really want to see him. The anger was all tangled up in sorrow and guilt. Her last blowup had been venomous and desperate.

If he just left her alone to work, that was the best she could hope for. “You might like him,” Mikhail was nicer than both of them. He had to be, to deal with them.

Kirsikka knew she was in a losing battle. Malina was right – he was one of the few safe spaces, and Kirsikka still knew how to get to him, so she didn’t bother waiting for Malina to open the gate. She created the portal, pulling water out of the air and murmuring the code until his home was reflected on the other side.

She made a simple gesture for Malina to go through first. She would follow, and then she’d hide away.
 
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Tamsin felt immediate guilt for the look of disappointment on Dorine’s face, even if it was for something she couldn’t exactly help. She wanted to meet up for dinner and catch up! But there were other things she had to do while there.

All of which flew out of her mind with Dorine’s words, and Varick’s confirmation.

“Wait…what?” she asked dumbly, struggling to comprehend at first. As far as she knew, she wasn’t taken. At least, her parents hadn’t said anything of the sort when she was growing up.

Would they not tell her, to further protect her from what she was?

“What do you mean he saved me?” Dorine had to be referring to the Despoina incident as she couldn’t recall any other monster incident from when she was a baby. Tamsin didn’t even acknowledge Dorine’s question to her, regarding if she was cursed or not.

That was a question Tamsin didn’t even know how to answer. Was she cursed? She didn’t know anything!

~~~

Drazhan didn’t quite know how to feel about Mikhail just yet, but if Kirsikka used to be friends with him, and still trusted him to an extent despite their recent past, then he had no choice but to trust that his place would be a safe haven for now.

Even if Malina was there.

The woman neither agreed nor disagreed with Kirsikka’s statements. Mikhail did remain neutral, and looking back, she could hardly blame him. Both sides lost, and there he was, in his cozy cottage, protected by a spell that only allowed the selected few in to see him. Of course, nothing was truly safe, but it would be safe long enough to do what needed to be done.

To find whoever it was Kirsikka needed to find that the Ineffable One was supposedly afraid of.

Ignoring how Drazhan seemingly left in a hurry when the portal opened, Malina was the first one to step through. “I am not in the mood today…” she heard a familiar voice sigh, but it trailed off when she made herself known. “Malina?”

A pair of arms wrapped around her, and she tensed a moment before her brain recognized that it was her brother hugging her, and not a threat. “Kirsikka is here as well. And she brought a Primal,” was all she could process to say.
 
Varick’s expression faltered as Tamsin reacted. ‘Wait, didn’t we…?’ He knew they’d spoken of her home and the despoina. He thought he had confirmed this with her, but he realized belatedly he had not confirmed it. In fact, he hadn’t been sure of it until she began to show that extra power she had, and that was when he connected the dots.

He just assumed she knew, because her parents would have told her…but they hadn’t. He’d also partially assumed because she was nice to him, and he stupidly assumed that, too, came from her parents talking about the nice primal that saved her life once upon a time, but no…they’d hidden it, as they hid her heritage that led her to whatever these powers were.

The reason they were here.

Varick sighed.

Dorine frowned and looked a bit hesitant, glancing at him, before looking apologetically to Tamsin, “Oh, Tamsin…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to break this on you…I thought your parents would have mentioned it. When the despoina came, you were one of the babies that was taken, too. But there were…many,” she emphasized, as if that somehow made it better, or perhaps, less extraordinary, that she was taken. Less something to concern herself with.

She was one of many.

“We weren’t really sure why she was taking babies….”

Varick shook his head, “She didn’t explain, either. She was unwilling to talk.” Thus why she had to die. She wouldn’t state what she was looking for, so Varick couldn’t help negotiate things on her behalf. He didn’t enjoy doing that with intelligent creatures – or even stupid ones, honestly – but he didn’t have a choice. He had to get the babies back home, alive.

~***~

Kirsikka frowned as Drazhan ran off, not quite understanding it when he didn’t head up to the room but outside. It wasn’t until he returned with the horses – literally walking them through the bar – that she understood. ‘Right.’ She’d nearly forgotten, and looking upon Zephyr, she wished Drazhan had.

Zephyr.

Dravon’s horse.

Suddenly she hated it.

Suddenly she wanted to tear the beast to shreds, even if it had been a fantastic beast of burden, and always true to its name – fast as the wind. She didn’t stop Drazhan from taking it through, of course, and she followed after him, closing the portal as soon as they were across, safely in Mikhail’s secluded home.

He was already outside with Malina, of course.

Shame she couldn’t just avoid him the easy way, so she went to where Zephyr was and grabbed his reins away from Drazhan as a partial shield from Mikhail, and something to have. Something to do. She took one glance at Mikhail before looking, “Mikhail, this is Drav—” she was going to look at Drazhan.

She was going to remember his name.

But with Zephyr at her side, and her brain hardly able to think of anything else sober, she stumbled.

Fuck.”

Because she didn’t want that association, but god damn their names were similar.

“Drazhan,” she emphasized the introduction, gaze unable to meet Drazhan’s.

Everything was fucked today. Why not add another thing? Why not ruin everything?

“I’m going to put the horse away. Dravon is alive. Malina can explain the rest.”

'I'm going to go bash my head into a wall and wish I was still drunk.'

Fuck it. Fuck everything. She pulled the reins a bit harder than necessary to get Zephyr to move so she could escape before Mikhail said or did anything. He could go meet Drazhan, and Malina could explain everything as she wasted three hours brushing Zephyr down until she was calm enough to stop ruining everything and maybe actually look at Mikhail without feeling crushed.

She probably couldn’t look at Drazhan again for a while, but she was going to ignore that.
 
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Tamsin didn’t know what to feel in the moment as the realization that her parents hid everything from her. That she was taken as a baby, that her powers most likely came from her heritage, which she knew nothing about.

She wanted to hate them in her moment of anger and frustration, but even then, she could only think of the reasons why they would do that. She came up with nothing.

She refused to tear up at her frustration in front of Dorine. Instead, she gave the older woman a small smile of reassurance. “It’s okay, you didn’t know. But no, they never mentioned that I was one of those babies.”

And she certainly wouldn’t fault Varick for not telling her. It wasn’t his responsibility to begin with. It was her parents’! Her parents, who were long dead.

“Not to change the subject, although it does relate in a way I can’t begin to explain right now, did either one of my parents ever talk about their family? They never mentioned any siblings, cousins, or even grandparents, but surely they must have had them.” Yet more proof that they were hiding her from something. Was it for protection? Was it just their own cowardice at telling her the truth?

She would never know, and that in of itself was frustrating beyond belief.

~~~

Oh, that stung.

Drazhan heard the beginning of that mage’s name, one he heard once before falling from Kirsikka’s lips instead of his own, during their first morning together, back when she had a heavy intolerance of him.

He was beginning to wonder if that intolerance had changed at all.

Of course, it could have been a simple matter of she had dealt with Dravon recently, when he was supposed to be dead, and their names were quite similar.

Still, his heart ached a little.

“The fuck I can explain the rest,” Malina grumbled, rubbing at her eyes as if it would also rub away everything that had piled on just in the last day or so.

Drazhan stood awkwardly nearby, rubbing the back of his head as he debated what to do next. Following Kirsikka? Give her space for the moment? But that meant sharing the same air as Malina, which he didn’t want to do.

“So does this little partnership mean you’re not a religious zealot anymore?” Mikhail asked with a raised brow.

Malina rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “I guess that’s part of the story, but apparently not.”

Mikhail made a noise in his throat at the news, and he stepped away from Malina to glance between the trio. His gaze eventually settled on Kirsikka, who was attempting to make an escape to avoid conversation. “Your room is still there for you, as always,” he told her before rushing after Kirsikka, momentarily forgetting about the poor Primal standing near the cottage with absolute confusion.

He easily caught up, as she hadn’t gotten far. “You’re going to walk off without even saying hello?” Mikhail stayed by her side. “It’s been far too long…” And despite her venomous words at their last meeting, he couldn’t ever hate her. Hold onto a little anger, sure, but never hate.
 
Dorine kept that worried frown on her face as Tamsin asked more about her family. Of course, none of them lived in this town, and Dorine could only really shake her head, although then she hummed, and added, “Well, your father’s family used to visit a bit, but…well, they stopped. He mentioned that he cut ties with them, but I was never sure why. I assumed they had some issue with your mother, but…I’m sorry, Tamsin, I really don’t know.”

It had seemed early enough in that relationship that it was easy to assume that, but of course, now she wasn’t so sure. It seemed quite related, no doubt Tamsin thought there was a reason the despoina stole her away, but so far as Dorine knew, there wasn’t any particular reason for any of the infants to be stolen.

None that Varick shared, at any rate.

“I’m not sure where your father came from,” she added, “I’m sorry I can’t help you any further about them,” and she truly was. With Tamsin’s parents dead, they were likely the only family Tamsin had, and Dorine didn’t know how to help her find them.

Varick hummed, wanting to interject, but not daring to, lest it come right back to questions of Tamsin being cursed. Which, she wasn’t…technically. It was better to leave that well enough alone. Still, he did want to ask if there were others who might know something, or even information on the mother’s family. Had the mother been from this town? Had they both just moved here?

He held his tongue, though.

Best to be forgotten.

~***~

Kirsikka had really hoped that the rest would be enough of a distraction to keep Mikhail from her for a bit. Drazhan and Malina could be distracting. Especially his sister, now back from the death of religious zealotry, but no, apparently nothing was going to go right for her. Mikhail focused on her instead, and her very obvious attempt to avoid conversation as she kept walking with the horse.

“Yes, that was the plan,” Kirsikka didn’t deny it. “It wasn’t my idea to come here,” although she clearly went along with it, making the portal and letting everyone through. “You can thank Malina for that. I just need a place to scry.”

‘It doesn’t mean you’re forgiven.’ She wanted to say.

She wanted to say she was still furious with him.

‘It doesn’t mean I’m forgiven.’

‘It doesn’t mean you’re less of a coward.’

‘It doesn’t mean….’


It didn’t have to mean anything at all, as Kirsikka felt that chilling cold wrap around her again when she tried to force the sensation of fiery anger. It wasn’t there, much as she wanted it to be. It would be easier if she was just angry with Mikhail, but every other emotion doused it.

So, she could be there just to scry. It didn’t mean anything else. Besides, she was a worse person than the one who left him years ago, which he knew. Even isolated here, he had to know the monster she’d become. “I can’t seem to shake Malina or Drazhan so your home works to keep the idiots safe while I do my work. That’s all.”

Yet, she still couldn’t look at Mikhail straight on as she reached the little place where she could begin to untack Zephyr, and she did begin that process.
 
Of course Dorine couldn’t provide much more information about her parents’ background than she already knew. She knew her father cut off his family, but that was before she was born, and he never spoke of them, so she never learned why he did it.

But apparently she needed to ask around about her father more, as his family seemed to be the one linked to what was going on with her, if her gut instinct was right. And there still were a few people around town that knew him very well from his blacksmithing days.

Tamsin smoothed down her mixed emotions to give Dorine a genuine smile. “It’s alright, I don’t really expect anyone to have a full family history. I just figured I would ask and see what I can find out.” And she found out that her parents were an enigma.

“I don’t want to hold you up anymore. Please give Therese my well wishes. I’ll see about coming to visit the both of you tomorrow.” With a parting hug, Tamsin wished Dorine farewell and continued on her way.

To stew in her swirling thoughts.

“Something tells me I am only going to end up with more questions than answers,” she told Varick once they were on their way again. “I hope your friend ends up being able to answer all my questions. Or…that mage…” she left his name unspoken, but she recalled Varick seeming insistent that he didn’t get involved at all. Probably because he was undead.

But what if he was the only one who could truly help her?

~~~

Mikhail wasn’t the least bit surprised by the kurt manner Kirsikka talked to him. Like she was detached from any emotions their past may flare. “It may not have been your idea, but you still came willingly.” She created the portal. She came with Malina without bloodshed.

Even if she did just need a place to scry, she still knew his place would be safe enough for her.

“And you know I can just as easily push you out of my little safe corner in the woods just as easily as you arrived, but,” he breathed a deep sigh, “I can’t do that to you.”

His heart hurt at the sight of the shell of his old friend. What would she be if he had been by her side at Mont Pellinor…

Or with Malina.

He couldn’t do it.

“Besides, I think my home would be a little more lively with three idiots keeping me company.” He chuckled, then quieted, before he stepped forward to wrap his arms around the seemingly unwilling woman. He didn’t care. She could burn him for all he cared. He was just happy his sister and his old friend were both alive.
 
Dorine left them soon with sweet promises of Tamsin’s future visit, though Varick wondered if it would be worth it, or better left as a sweet white lie. He wouldn’t suggest that, of course. It could be worth it to Tamsin for other reasons, like seeing Therese. He knew little of her feelings towards these people, or what it would mean to her to catch up with them like a normal person.

“I could have told you that,” he noted as she mentioned more questions, with a trace of humor in his tone. They might get some answers…but ones that would only lead to more questions. He was beginning to doubt what his siren friend might be able to tell them. Odds were, she wouldn’t know too much.

Still, it was better than the alternative.

“No.” Varick said immediately at ‘the mage’, his nose wrinkling in disgust, “the undead cannot be trusted,” and especially not one as powerful as Dravon was. One who was aware of what he was, and was holding the knowledge like a prize to be won, not offering it to help. He wanted something…something beyond just having a good, clean death.

Varick would have given that to him. “If my friend can’t, we’ll find other ways,” somehow, someway, that didn’t lead back to Dravon, “we might find enough to go off of here,” that was to be seen. “I assume you know those who knew your family, so we know who to look for while we’re here.”

Hopefully.

~***~

‘You can, but you know that’s only going to be taken as a challenge.’ Kirsikka didn’t add that, fairly sure Mikhail knew that. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been taken that way then. It would be an excuse to leave Malina and Drazhan behind, after all. Until Malina browbeat Mikhail to bring her back, because she was the only one who knew what to scry for, of course. She wanted to sigh at the thought.

Things were easier when she could just take someone pushing her out as a challenge, and not accept it.

‘Please push me out.’

Mikhail didn’t do that. He chuckled about his idiotic company, and Kirsikka couldn’t even take mock offense as she tried to focus on the task at hand, only to freeze up when Mikhail did the opposite of push her away. He embraced her, proving he was as much as an idiot as the others.

The temptation to knock him on his ass was strong. It wouldn’t even be hard, as the chill wrapped its way through her.

She only sighed and let her head fall against him. She didn’t hug him back, nor did she push him away. There was no release of emotion, just, “I’m still angry with you.” Something he knew. Something tinged with ‘but’ – and enough of that to almost nullify the sentence itself. But she couldn’t say anything nice directly.
 
Tamsin chuckled and rolled her eyes at Varick’s words. “I think a blind and deaf man could have told me that.” A mystery that would only just…get bigger the more she tried to seek answers.

But there was still a small possibility, and she had to hold on to that hope. Just as she always held onto the sliver of hope offered to her in her darkest moments.

She wasn’t surprised by Varick’s reaction to Dravon, but at the same time, she was a little upset. One potential avenue for answers was completely closed off, not even open for negotiating. She wouldn’t question him on his decision there. He knew better than she did.

But what if we never find answers?

She didn’t vocalize her fears, but continued on the thought of finding those she knew. “My father was a blacksmith, and right before he died, he had a helper who had been working with him for years. They were good friends. When I left, I heard that he was taking over, so I’m hoping he’s still around.” And can answer questions about her father.

In an added thought, Tamsin glanced down at her travel clothes. “Although, maybe I want to see about bathing before seeing anyone else I know. I’m sure I don’t smell the best right now, and doesn’t a hot bath sound wonderful right now?” She gave Varick a cheeky grin, not at all hiding her intentions.

~~~

Mikhail could feel the cold encroaching on him, and he braced himself to shield himself from any icy attack, but none came, as he ultimately expected. When it came to loved ones, Kirsikka was more icy with her words than her magic.

He still felt the sting of what she said several years ago, before their final departure.

Mikhail willed his warmth into her, hoping that she could feel that someone still cared for her despite everything. That not everyone was out to get her or use her. He just wanted his friend back, new scars and all.

At her words, he merely chuckled, but didn’t let go. Instead, one hand slid up to her head and gently stroked her hair. “And I’m still upset, but I’ve missed you too.” That lingering anger and hurt may never fade given the scope of the battle and what was at stake, but Mikhail certainly hoped they could move past it.

Though he knew he was lucky to ever get Malina and Kirsikka in a room together and acting somewhat civil.
 
Varick hummed at that information, and hoped this apprentice would indeed still be in town, and know more about the situation. Of course, even Varick didn’t anticipate any wanderings. Dorine was a lucky encounter, but that was it. Now that rooms were secured, he did expect to go back to one, clean up, and rest for the night.

Well, Tamsin had to perform. He was sure of that.

But other than that, there was no more work.

Not for him.

He didn’t mind at all the plans before her work. “I didn’t assume we had anything else to do today,” he noted, “I figured it would all be saved for tomorrow,” both to assure her he wasn’t pressuring her towards any work so they could just move on, and to agree to getting cleaned up. They both needed it, and doing it together would indeed save time, and water.

“So a bath sounds wonderful now,” he said, not matching her cheek, but still letting a smile ghost over his lips, “I hope you’ve asked for one to be prepared already.” Not that they couldn’t wait, but it would be better to just walk in and sink into it.

In either case, he turned back towards the inn to head in, hoping the keeper wouldn’t be too upset to see him enter with Tamsin.

~***~

Mikhail always could translate her well. The ‘too’ didn’t even need to be corrected. It had been said, in everything but words. Kirsikka knew too well how anger and longing mixed. That didn’t mean Kirsikka liked it in the moment, but it was…easier to deal with. She didn’t have to explain nearly as much.

Of course, someone still had to fill Mikhail in on things. That someone should be Malina, but Kirsikka knew she could if it was needed.

“Can I finish untacking my horse now?”

It wasn’t a push away, but it was still a request to move and do something, without being harsh. “You have another guest to settle, and he’s very confused.” And likely hurt. She’d fucked up his name again. He was all alone with his own horse, or with Malina and his horse, and nothing about that was good. “Malina killed his Sophia when she was still a zealot,” she murmured, “so I don’t think they’re best left alone for long without him…being less confused.”

There was a mess of emotions and hatred in this group.

Mikhail would be…entertained.

He might prefer his peace soon. “And I fucked up his name so….” So she wanted to go die of shame, and was not going to go approach him to help the situation. Because she’d fucked up a lot of things with Drazhan.

Mikhail would figure that out.
 
Tamsin nodded, slightly relieved that they were on the same page. To continue tomorrow, and take the rest of the day to rest. She had to clean and prepare herself for a performance that evening, and she didn’t need to be running to the inn, breathless, at the last minute, because she lost track of time on her little quest.

And Varick helped to remind her that there indeed would be a hot bath waiting for them in their room, so she smiled and nodded. “Yes, I told the woman to prepare a hot bath in the room.” They hadn’t been out too long since arriving, so the bath should hopefully still be hot. Comforting.

Since they didn’t stray too far from the inn to begin with, it didn’t take long for them to return. If the keeper glanced in their direction, curious about the new man following Tamsin, Tamsin didn’t notice. She only focused on getting to their room, which, upon opening the door, she was glad to see that the bath was indeed ready for them, and steaming hot, with a couple of towels and rags resting on a nearby table.

“It looks rather small.” It was the perfect size for the two of them, if Tamsin sat in Varick’s lap. “Oh what are we to do?”

~~~

At Kirsikka’s question, Mikhail made a noise of acknowledgement, but didn’t move just yet. He didn’t move until she told him about the Primal that had accompanied her, his little backstory with Malina, and how she fucked up his name with her dead ex-lover’s.

Mikhail honestly felt extremely sorry for the Primal.

Eventually, he pulled away and looked down at Kirsikka’s face, but he wouldn’t force her to do the same. “Sounds like the two of you need to apologize for him.” That was laughable, though. He needed to find out what was going on in Malina’s head, but even as kids she rarely apologized.

Not that she was cruel to him. She apologized in her own special way to show her love. But Mikhail hardly thought that a Primal would be the recipient of that. And one who lost someone special to him thanks to her.

He breathed a heavy sigh

“I am curious as to why you brought him here, and judging by how you fucked up his name, I’m guessing there’s nothing going on between you two?” He raised a brow as he asked, already surmising that he wouldn’t believe her answer if it was anything less than an affirmation. “And if there is truly nothing going on, I just may try my hand…” The attractive, strong- Primal looking confused and a bit lost on his property.

Mikhail couldn’t help himself.

“But,” he sighed, stepping back, “I have a Primal and a sister to talk to, though apparently not at the same time.” That would be disastrous. “There’s tea in the kitchen if you ever want some, and the spare bedroom is still available for you to rest your weary head.”
 
Varick followed after Tamsin to the room, disregarding the innkeeper. They made it up to the room and, thankfully, there was a bath already there, and still hot. Not that it was likely to be otherwise, only possible for it not to be there. Heating up water could take some time in some places, but he was glad to see it as he set their bags on a nearby table and dug out the soap.

The size wasn’t small, of course.

Just fit for one, rather than two. He hadn’t expected otherwise. Of course, Tamsin made a show of it, and he couldn’t help but snort a laugh as he started to disrobe, “Well, I suppose you’ll just have to wait and take the lukewarm bath when I’m done,” he was out of his clothes only too quickly, leaving them in a pile before, indeed, slipping into the hot tub and stretching himself out in it.

The water was too pleasant; he couldn’t help but let out a sigh as it touched his body and he sunk into it so most of his chest was covered.

There was an obvious way for Tamsin to fit, but he still cocked his head in her direction, with a bit of a crooked smile, “Unless you can see a way to fit, but my feet are touching the end of this tub,” it was actually a bit small, all things considered, as his knees were a bit bent. Then again, he was also a bit taller than the average man, so it wasn’t too surprising.

The only baths that seemed to fit him fully were permanent fixtures, not these movable tubs. That’d be too hard to carry around and fill.

~***~

‘I think he’s a masochist, Mikhail.’ Kirsikka didn’t say that as her eyes automatically drifted away and off to the side when he let her go, and she felt his gaze upon her face. It was true, she owed Drazhan several apologies, mostly for getting involved with him in the first place.

Especially in letting him think there could be anything, though she gave an irritated sigh as Mikhail questioned that, her gaze able to shoot up to his in agitation. “No, Mikhail, there’s nothing there.”

‘I’m loyal.’ A lie. A lie that kept ringing in her ears, but she dismissed it, turning away from him, “Please take Drazhan off my hands, he made it fairly clear last night he wants nothing from me.” That sting had not abated, “I’ll get some tea later. I have to build the mirror – if I pop out it’s just to grab ingredients from home.” She could make glass with magic, but she didn’t. It was one of the few things she retained from her days before becoming a mage.

She could make glass. Mirrors. But she always went back to her birthplace to gather the ingredients she needed. Habit. It was honestly luck the Order of Light had never caught her there…well, luck, and the disguise.

She’d still risk it. If she was going to make a mirror to find the woman, she wanted a good one.

And if she was going to break Dravon’s silly little barriers….

Although it was going to be a bit more difficult without conjuring her own fire, she could still figure it out. Or ask Mikhail. She wasn’t going to ask Malina. Sure, Malina might know how to regulate temperature, but fuck Malina.
 
Tamsin mock-pouted at Varick’s suggestion of her waiting until he was done with the bath to take her own. No, she won’t be doing that. She’ll enjoy that hot water as well. “Well that’s just not acceptable at all.”

She did not hide at all the fact she watched him disrobe and slipped into the tub. Licking her lips, Tamsin began slipping off her own travel clothes, eager to be out of them for more than one reason. “I think I do see a way to fit in there.” A very inviting way to fit in the tub.

Once all her clothes were off, she stepped over the edge of the tub, careful to not actually step on Varick in the process, and she maneuvered herself so she faced him and straddled his lap, a pleased grin on her face. Her hands rested on his chest, enjoying the feeling of hard muscle, “Now this is comfortable.”

And truly she could stay like this as long as she wanted to, as she felt so secure with Varick so close to her.

~~~

Mikhail raised a brow at what Kirsikka said concerning her and Drazhan. That certainly wasn’t what he felt coming from the Primal in the little time they spent in each other’s company. He would ask. Mikhail wasn’t afraid to be so bold.

Kirsikka had to be intentionally dense, or in denial. Or a complete idiot.

He wouldn’t comment on that matter right then.

“Alright then. I’ll leave you to it. But know that if you need anything, you can always come and ask me.” He let the statement hang in the air, as he intended for it to cover both the simple ingredients to the more…emotional needs between friends.

He wanted their relationship mended.

With that, he left Kirsikka alone to return to the confused Primal and help him be less confused with a little flirtation on Mikhail’s part. All in good fun and amusement.
 
Varick adjusted enough when Tamsin made her plans known so that he wouldn’t be stepped on, and easily made room for her to settle herself. Once she had settled beneath the water, her weight comfortably on his own, he didn’t resist the urge to cup her cheek, and bring his lips to hers. It was quite comfortable this way.

And it remained quite comfortable as they enjoyed the heat of the bath, cleansing each other, and enjoying each other, until the water became too tepid to really make it enjoyable any longer. That, and the sun was markedly lower from before, which meant Tamsin did have her job to do, so out of the tub they went.

“I’ll make sure to bring it down,” Varick promised, once he was somewhat dressed. “You don’t need to worry about that,” she just needed to worry about getting down in time for the show, to help them pay for the room so they didn’t use as much money for it.

And he would indeed finish getting dressed, before he’d take the tub and dump it outside the room and take it back, rather than ask for any help. It was the least he could do not to bother the innkeeper as night fell and some came in to get a quick bite, or an evening drink.

He would, of course, also make his appearance in the tavern area of the inn to watch Tamsin’s show. He enjoyed them. Of course, he also had to make sure she stayed safe, not that he suspected much would happen in her hometown…but it was better to be safe than sorry.

‘And then tomorrow….’ Tracking down the blacksmith, and meeting up with Dorine again…it was going to be busy. Socially. Not the way he usually liked things.

~***~

Kirsikka only nodded at Mikhail’s offer. She wasn’t in much of a state to accept the underlining implications of it. She wasn’t in much of a state to accept anything nice like that, though. She did finish untacking Zephyr, before walking out into a portal to Kheimon, to gather the ingredients she needed for making the mirror – mostly, sand, silver, and wood ash.

She hoped to find a fight.

There was none to be found, no guards posted of the Council there, and though she saw some sparks of recognition – not that any knew her for certain, only the rumor of what their town produced – she got away with what she needed and kept her work outside Mikhail’s home, only stepping in when she was ready to start heating up the material so it could settle.

She took her tea then.

She took herself to the fire and took it over with her three oval molds, and stoked it manually, rather than let Mikhail or Malina help. She could watch the flames and the molds with her tea; given that it was late, she was hoping at least Drazhan and Malina had gone to bed as she took her watch, doubtful that Mikhail had gone to bed already.

‘After this…maybe….’

Unlikely.

She could spend tireless hours scrying. Maybe escape before anyone noticed if she found the woman in her dreams quick enough….

She could only sigh at her own thoughts that continued to circle around escaping her newest shackles, twirling her finger to feed the fire more air. She might not be able to manipulate the fire directly, but she could indirectly.
 
The bath was just as pleasant as she’d hoped it would be, but eventually they did have to return to reality, as the water cooled and the evening approached. She did have a performance to put on, and so she had to get ready for it, not that it would take too long.

But at least now she would perform with a very content and pleased mood.

Tamsin had begun drying herself off and slipping on the dress she would perform in when Varick spoke. “And you need to also make sure that you see the performance,” she said with a wink. Not that she doubted he wouldn’t be there. He had no monster hunt to attend to, no other meetings to worry about.

Just grab dinner, a drink, and enjoy her show.

“I’m debuting a new song, and I want to make sure you hear it.” She wouldn’t say any more on the matter of the song. They continued their business, and Tamsin finished getting dressed and primping herself. Performance ready.

Varick was already gone when Tamsin grabbed her instruments and headed to the tavern area. There were a decent amount of people there for dinner and after-work drinking, but she wouldn’t call it crowded. Just decent. She had a quick chat with the innkeeper before taking to the floor, her fingers gently plucking at the strings of her lute.

Her eyes quickly glanced over the audience to find Varick, as the words of her first, and newest, song fell from her lips.

When a humble bard, graced a ride along, of Varick the Primal, along came this song…

~~~

Drazhan didn’t know what to think of Mikhail upon their first conversation.

On one hand, he was the brother of Malina, the murderess. On the other hand, he was a longtime friend of Kirsikka, whose volatile mood didn’t seem to phase the mage.

Oh, and there was the interesting detail of his blatant flirtation, which took Drazhan off guard.

“So this is the handsome young Primal to round out the interesting party that decided to grace me with their company.” Drazhan looked over his shoulder to see Mikhail walking toward him, a kind, if not mischievous, expression settled on his face.

“And I…haven’t heard a thing about you until right before we went through the portal,” Drazhan admitted with a chuckle. “And they weren’t the most pleasant things.”

Mikhail waved off those words. “No, I suppose not. I love my sister and Kirsikka dearly, but this whole war going on…has definitely affected our relationship. But we never give up on those we love.”

Drazhan bit back a comment he wanted to make about Malina. That was his sister, who he obviously loved, and since he was their current host, Drazhan didn’t want to upset or anger or insult him. This was a protected area for Kirsikka to do what she needed to get done.

“No, I guess we don’t.” An image of Varick flashed in his mind, but he just as quickly tossed it aside.

Their conversation remained light, as Mikhail worked to glean as much information from Drazhan as he could. To gauge his character, learn more about him. Mikhail liked him, and he certainly could see why Kirsikka liked him too, even if she wanted to deny it. Ignore it.

And Drazhan enjoyed Mikhail’s company. Finally, someone normal.

Mikhail brushed off a piece of invisible dust from Drazhan’s sleeve. “If it wasn’t so obvious you were smitten for Kirsikka, I would definitely try and see if you wanted company this evening.” While the words were completely true, Mikhail more or less wanted to see how Drazhan would react. To see if his gut instinct was correct.

Drazhan shrugged. “She confuses me, though. One minute she acts like she wants to pursue something, and the next, she acts like she can’t stand me.” She was a frustrating woman.

Mikhail lifted a brow, and he leaned in, as if telling a secret. “You know, she told me that you made it very clear last night that you wanted nothing to do with her.”

Drazhan’s brows furrowed before he remembered what exactly happened. He shook his head, “I’m surprised that she remembers anything from last night. She was drunk off her ass, and she tried to get me into bed with her, and, fuck, any other time I would’ve said yes in an instant.” There was no hesitation there. “But while too drunk to even stand up? No, I couldn’t.”

A pleased smile graced Mikhail’s lips. “I knew you were a good man, Drazhan.”



Hours later, Drazhan replayed the conversation between himself and Mikhail in his head as he laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. No ounce of sleep came to him, and his Primal hearing picked up noise from downstairs. A woman’s step. Gods, this better not be Malina.

With a heavy sigh, he got out of bed and headed towards the source of the noise. Fortunately, luck was on his side and it was indeed Kirsikka sitting near the fire, doing…whatever it was she was doing.

All of the sudden, Drazhan felt a range of emotions in a split second. Anger, frustration, sadness, and desire all mixed into one. This time, he didn’t intend for Kirsikka to weasel her way out of a conversation. “So, Mikhail told me something interesting today.” He watched her, waiting for any reaction, waiting for any sign of her wanting to flee.
 
Varick had settled in with ale and a hot meal. The crowd didn’t pay him much mind. A few lingering looks, and some that regarded him with cautious familiarity – uncertain. He didn’t blame them; he hadn’t really aged in appearance since he last saw them, so they would wonder if he was the same person. Even if they knew a bit about Primals, people didn’t really know.

Knowledge and experience were different things.

However, it became quite obvious who he was as Tamsin began a new song, one he’d heard the tinkling of a melody of before on their journey, but not the words. He was startled to hear his name come out in a sing-song way, and he straightened up, looking right at Tamsin with that confusion, as she continued on.

Those cautiously familiar looks became less cautious, and more open.

Wariness, but…friendly.

Varick wasn’t quite sure how to consider this song, even as his expression relaxed into something more neutral. He didn’t want a song about himself. He didn’t want people singing about him. His life had been one of infamy, not fame, and he could only consider the bad things that would follow this. So, of course, his heart raced for all the wrong reasons, for all the imagined threats, for all the harm that could come if people started to look for him.

If old enemies arose to squash the Primals, now that they were trying to gain favor with the common people through song. ‘Fuck.’ He knew Tamsin meant it as a kind gesture. All the words were flattering, the venture she described one that made him a clear, black-and-white good guy…but she didn’t understood the threat that was.

The threat others might see it as.

Of course, he didn’t interrupt her. He didn’t walk out. He applauded…but it was short, as he hoped this would be the only rendition of it…hoped it would not spread.

~***~

Kirsikka should have been used to the reality of having no peace. Ever since she decided to try and work with someone, she hadn’t had a day of peace. She looked up from the flames as Drazhan stepped into the area, frowning as he mentioned Mikhail and a conversation. ‘How much am I going to want to kill you, Mikhail?’

Really, the answer was obvious from years of knowing Mikhail. He told Drazhan something about their conversation, because he was hoping Drazhan was over Kirsikka.

And because Mikhail was just a pain in the ass sometimes about her love life. All the time. He’d always tried to get her to consider others besides Dravon, so no wonder he was meddling again. “He told you something that is going to make me reconsider my entire friendship with him, I’m sure.” Kirsikka deduced with owning to anything that he might have said. She didn’t know, and she wouldn’t be baited into revealing the thing that came to mind.

About the drunken rejection.

“Or he professed his undying love and you’re here to tell me that you’re staying with Mikhail when I leave,” which was not true, but a girl could hope, couldn’t she? It would solve so many problems in her personal life. “In which case, congratulations, and if you ever hurt a hair on his head I’ll rip your intestines out through your toes.” It was said so deadpan that it couldn’t be a real threat, but it was an easy way to try and take the edge off of what Drazhan was actually going to say.

Or redirect him from it.
 
The song changed into other songs, including some jolly sea shanties she knew the audience would enjoy. The crowd enjoyed the music to which Tamsin obtained a decent amount of coins that would cover traveling a while longer. Some had even recognized her from when she was a teenager.

She stopped and talked to a few people who wanted her attention, but she never allowed any one conversation to last more than a minute. She needed to talk to the innkeeper about their finances, but she was busy at the moment with refilling mugs. It could wait. So instead, she made her way over to Varick.

Tamsin had worried about the reaction to the song. She hadn’t even told him she wrote it, and to suddenly spring it on him like that…Was he embarrassed? Annoyed? Angry? Oh, she hoped he wasn’t angry.

And so when she approached the table, she sat across from him and spoke before he could get a word out. “I know you weren’t expecting to hear that song with your name, but in a town where people have generally favorable views about you, I wanted to try it out and gauge reactions. I hoped you enjoyed it, but if you didn’t, I promise I won’t play it again,” she said hurriedly and all in one breath.

Apprehension was clear on her face as she awaited his verbal reaction, but she did suppose she could have mentioned it back in the room…but then it wouldn’t have been a surprise!

~~~

Drazhan snorted, not in the least bit surprised that Kirsikka was trying to make sarcastic remarks to avoid the truth. She hated facing reality when it involved her own emotions, which he couldn’t fault her on. Emotions were hard to deal with, and he hated to think of certain memories for the very same reason.

“He didn’t profess his undying love, though I do think he was trying to flirt with me. It’s nice to know you’re willing to take revenge for him though.” Her odd way of showing love. “But no, he didn’t, and even if he did, he’s not exactly my type.” Drazhan slowly moved closer to where Kirsikka sat.

“He told me that I made it clear last night that I want nothing to do with you.” He maneuvered himself to stand in front of the chair she sat in, and he leaned over to rest his hands on each armrest, preventing an escape without the assistance of magic. “And I came to talk to you to see if you truly said something so terribly wrong.”

Even right then, he imagined closing the distance between them and finishing what she started last night. His hands tightened around the armrests. He wouldn’t allow her to get out of this conversation.
 
Varick was tempted a few times to leave. To deal with his thoughts, and figure out how to handle it. If he would tell Tamsin not to continue the song, or if he’d let it play out. However, he knew abandoning Tamsin to try and think through things would be…bad. And he didn’t want her mood to dip. He still enjoyed the show, it was just the thoughts that kept coming back. He tried to work through them, but in public like that, it was hard.

Even if it was all internal, his attention was caught by too many external things.

When Tamsin took her break, of course, she worked her way over to him.

And of course…she asked him about the song.

He didn’t sigh. He managed not to purse his lips, and held her nervous gaze calmly. He took one of her hands, “I appreciate the gesture for its intent,” that much was true, as he stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. “I am still working out my emotions on it as a…thing that could exist in the world.”

He shut his eyes as he exhaled, “Primals dealt with a genocide, Tamsin. And there are people who still want that completed. I have…concerns of the word ‘Primal’ entering such a popular sphere as music,” of his own identity entering a popular sphere. Primals were tolerated, but not beloved. They existed, but they weren’t being made any longer.

They were a dying breed. Which was something his enemies could accept, and leave alone.

He wasn’t sure how they’d take to them being in the limelight.

Varick opened his eyes. “It was a good song, though…a bit…exaggerated, I think.” Artistic license, he supposed.

~***~

Yes, Kirsikka was going to reconsider her friendship with Mikhail as Drazhan laid out what Mikhail had said. The urge to flee was there, but she knew she wasn’t exactly strong enough to push Drazhan away. Sinking down into the chair wasn’t her style, either, but she hated the closeness immediately.

So, of course, she glared.

She sulked.

She considered magic.

“I don’t recall anything wrong about it. I tried to get you into bed with me and you rejected my advances,” Kirsikka kept her voice even, but there was no denying the cold bite of anger at the confrontation. “I’d rather not rehash it. I’m sure you don’t enjoy rehashing moments of rejection with the one who rejected you, do you?”

She could kick his knee, but probably not hard enough.

She folded her arms over her chest. “I’m also working on mirrors right now and that does take some focus, you know.” She could explode the fire and burn his ass off. Or burn Mikhail’s house down, though Malina was likely to stop that.
 
Oh, Varick wasn’t happy. She knew immediately. His hand grasping hers helped alleviate some of the apprehension, but she was still tense. She waited for violent anger, even if he had never exhibited such a thing towards her.

But it was what she was used to. Upsetting Roland, and he would explode at her.

Varick wasn’t him. He was much more calm, even if his words didn’t warrant such an emotion. And she realized in his explanation how much exactly she fucked up. Oh, fuck.

“Shit,” she breathed, closing her eyes for a second. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that at all.” Of their tragic past. The anger still held on by some enough to want to eradicate every last Primal.

She couldn’t imagine such a life.

You stupid fucking girl.

Oh, wasn’t that what Roland called her all the time?

Swallowing, Tamsin managed a soft smile. “The song isn’t exaggerated to me, though. I believe your stories and life are worthy of such songs, if…there wasn’t such a heavy threat.”

~~~

Drazhan sighed heavily, holding back the deep urge to both throttle and kiss Kirsikka into silence. How could a woman who was so smart, held so much life experience, be so fucking dumb?

Fuck the mirrors right now.

He pretended she said nothing about those stupid mirrors.

I rejected you because you were drunk off your ass,” he said lowly, firmly. “I don’t fuck women who can’t consent, no matter how much I’ve been wanting it for so long.” He hoped she understood that.

She was so fucking dense.

“When you stripped down in front of me, oh gods did I want to take you up on your offer, pin you down on that bed, and hear what kind of sounds you would make.” His face inched closer. “But it’s wrong to take advantage of a drunk woman, no matter how pretty she begs or how perfect her body is.”

And oh how he wanted to pull her out of that chair and up the stairs.

“Otherwise, every other second of the day, I would not hesitate to pounce on you if you tried to get me into bed with you again.”
 

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