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Realistic or Modern prerogative | e d e n x c h a s e r







the people have to know, the love i used to own - i left it somewhere distant from home
















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Immediately did his eyes flick over to the younger male inhabiting the room with his meager presence at the sound of the strange chuckle his shy vocal chords emitted. His gaze was stiff, almost like he was perplexed for a few short seconds at the gentle noise tickling his eardrums. Why'd Jaejin laugh at that? Peizhi blinked with a blank countenance masking his visage in the other's direction as the unfitting explanation for the chortle reached his ears subsequently. A soft layer of a look that mirrored dubiety replaced the prior transparent one upon the brunette's facial expression, as he found what he'd said hard to believe. "I'm so sure." He said with a slightly bitter voice, though it could be heard from his underlying tone that he was attempting to be lighthearted, and gently teasing in response - it just didn't come out quite correctly.

However any residue of an ebullient Peizhi was quick to be drained from the space between them, when he too heard distant footsteps nearing his forbidden location. Within an instant, from the subdued sound of creaking alone, his head took envious haste in its switch of gears, from pretty nonchalant to extravagantly paranoid, as he casted his eyes to the singular passage into the room in the midst in his provoked state. He felt his heart jump uncomfortably, with the proposal his head provided him continuously echoing within his mind; fight or flight.

Was this it? Was this when he would have to say something to Jaejin's parents? From the learning of his keen, on edge hearing, he only gathered that there was a single person nearing the room, so could this be the kid's father? At the mere possibility of encountering the very man who dared to hurt Jaejin, and for such a frivolous reason as well, Peizhi felt his blood begin to boil, alongside the accelerated pumping of the burgundy liquid within his body. If that disgusting guy saw someone of Peizhi's status in his son's room - oh, how the pretentious brunette swiftly imagined in that moment how he assumed that certain situation would play out. Odds were very likely that, it wouldn't end well. It most definitely wouldn't end with the father asking if he wanted to stay for dinner the next night, or a trip to a carnival with promises of cotton candy, or something else highly stupid.

Peizhi's pointed eyes had been wide for the entirety of his mind's rambling, as he slowly noticed that he had been roughly fisting the comforter beneath that embraced his weight without complaint. He subconsciously took note of the excessive force, and felt slightly apologetic for the wrinkles he was bound to have given the thick layer of fabric, though he couldn't unlatch his concrete grip on it, as he was stuck in a state that didn't particularly give him the ability to move freely. He was having an intense staring contest with the wooden portal on the other side of the room, as the footsteps only became more evident.

When Jaejin seemingly flew over to the door to tend to the handle, was when Peizhi finally stood up with admirable speed, as if he were readying his stance for battle. His body was beyond rigid as he motionlessly remained where he was, watching the other from afar with an almost predatory stare. He had unfortunately found himself in his infamous trance that usually undertook him only when he was being incensed enough to get into an argument with some peon from school - he couldn't switch off his paranoia until he was sure the situation would end as he saw fit.

'Jaejin, sweetie, goodnight,' that female's voice gave him a sickened feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was too sweet, therefore it was so obviously compensating for something unsaid. Peizhi felt his right nostril slightly raise in the disgusted crinkle of the bridge of his nose, though he did admittedly experience an insignificant speck of relief to hear something other than a male's voice on the other side of the door, but of course, there was no way that that was enough for him to lower his formed guard. Upon listening to Jaejin's weak response, the brunette ultimately felt another wave of revulsion sting his throat, but for a different reason this time around.

He didn't really know how parents and kids were supposed to interact with each other at this stage in life - but that single interaction made him feel incredibly uneasy, and that something was immensely off about this entire household... But that wasn't really a new sentiment to rack his brain, as he's slowly been gathering the longer his visit continued. Why did it practically feel like there were endless ulterior motives glued to the walls? Hanging from the ceilings? Coating the flooring? Tinting every single statement someone utters? Was this really how a normal home is supposed to be, was he just the odd one out? It wouldn't be the first time, so he was begrudgingly giving the option some grains of plausible possibility.

Gradually, Peizhi's abrasive demeanour shifted upon Jaejin turning back to him with a blatant stench of apprehension framing a falsely reserved surface. He attempted to loosen up his inelastic figure when the other's gaze returned to him, to hopefully supply a sense of support, though when the other's anxious voice sifted into his perked up hearing devices, the brunette received a more disdain filled presence than he was formerly expecting to give off. The taller felt a bit gloomy at the subdued proposition, and was about to boldly proffer that he stayed to protect him from a possible attack, just as his writhing god complex was commanding him to - though he knew he shouldn't let that part of him make things worse, this time. He understood Jaejin's suggestion, and even respected it, just barely. Asking him to leave while also requesting they see each other again later was the most courageous thing Jaejin's done, besides that very first motorcycle ride. It was that one brief, fond recollection of their first formal encounter that persuaded Peizhi to slowly nod his head.

"I understand." He simply said, with no audible qualms staining his genuinely sensitive voice. He didn't say anything passed that on the subject however, prior to the beginning of his calculated movement to gather his nominal amount of things. It was a shame the night had to come to a close in such an abrupt fashion, but he guessed that it was most likely for the best. He knew he shouldn't dig his claws into the family's matters too prematurely, as he was aware of the consequences this would have if it occurred too early on. With due time, the brunette's heart assured his entire person, as he slung his satchel over his shoulder once more, with another look being given towards Jaejin following the minute action.

He offered another unhurried yet encouraging nod in the other's direction, "You can see me tomorrow. Don't worry," before he navigated himself over to the window, not particularly wishing to meander much longer, to be on the safe side. He peered out of the glass portal, curious to just be curious for a moment, until he sat himself on the not-so-sturdy windowsill, just as he'd done when he first came. However, he paused his movements to gaze at Jaejin yet another time. "Just... Do you have a phone? A cellphone...? Are you even allowed to have one at this age..." Peizhi wasn't intentionally trying to mock the kid, though his tone slightly led that on, especially with his slight snicker following his query. "...I just want to be able to get in touch with you better, you know?" It was a mediocre save, but whatever. It was a valid concern.




s
 

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송재진

"promise you won't run away"



⌘​
Jaejin watched with baited breath as he waited for Peizhi to reply, his gaze unnaturally still unlike Jaejin's frantic one. In truth, he felt like a rabbit, his heart was racing as the invisible clock in his head ticked down the seconds until it hit zero- that is, until his father came to the door. It was somewhat sad that he felt like a prisoner in his own home, unable to have guests over for fear of something happening to him.

Actually, it wasn't until tonight that he truly felt this way. It wasn't until he had met Peizhi that he started questioning his own circumstances and how odd they truly were. This certainly didn't help his subconscious thought that Peizhi really could be the devil trying to lure him into selling his soul. Was it bad that temptation was swaying him so easily?

Perhaps. Time would only tell.

When Peizhi spoke, it wasn't to offer any reassurance, nor any offers to stay. 'I understand.' Perhaps Jaejin didn't sound desperate enough, maybe he looked like he was in control of the situation. All he knew was the his heart started to beat faster and his ears felt hot in... shame? Embarrassment? Anxiety for the coming future? Whatever it was, it was uncomfortable and all he knew was the if he begged the other to stay he would seem like a petulant child.

He was, however, embarrassed to admit that he felt relief course through him at the reassurance that he would see the older male the following day. "O-oh. Of course." He sounded more sure of his words, his voice less shaky than it had been at the relief that Peizhi was leaving, all traces of a hidden encounter gone. "I do have a cellphone, uh... the number is 240-xxx-xxx" Of course, he wasn't going to mention how only three people were on his contacts.

He had a feeling that it was obvious he didn't have any friends other than church acquaintances.

With one last wave, Jaejin watched as Peizhi skillfully maneuvered his way down out the window, a small part of him wondering how dangerous it truly was. Glancing over and seeing the forbidden bag of sweets resting innocently on his comforter, Jaejin quickly grabbed the bad and hid it underneath his bed just as heavy footsteps could be heard outside his door. It was funny to see a grown man flounder in his room at the thought of his father walking into the room and seeing any trace of his forbidden guest, yet it felt like life or death to Jaejin.

He barely managed to get his face mask on when his bedroom door opened and his father came in. It was silent for a moment, cold brown eyes searching the room before finally landing on the meek figure that was Jaejin. Despite seeming like a charming man outside of his house, Mr. Song was anything but inside the privacy of his own home. His "kingdom", as he liked to call it.

'Hypocrite' A snide voice in the back of his mind spat, his breath seemingly caught in his throat as his father scrutinized his face.

Gently touching his eyes, Jaejin felt a shock of panic course through him as he realized that, not only did he forget to put on sunglasses, he also forgot to wipe the makeup off of his face. "Jaejin, do you heal that quickly?" His father's voice was quiet, dangerous even, as he asked the question. Perhaps it was a hypothetical question, one he would be unwise to answer to with a weak defense. It wasn't until an impatient "Well?" was directed his way that he quickly thought of a passable lie.

"Uh... well. My glasses slipped earlier today and a girl in my class saw and offered to cover it up so I didn't look strange for the rest of the day and could j-just pretend that I was sick." Jaejin mumbled quickly, too nervous to even glance up and see the disgust in his father's face. "I-I didn't tell her how it happened so all she knows is that I fell and hit my head." Jaejin knew that if he breathed wrong it would give this whole illusion up, so there he stood, stiff and awkward.

"That's all well and good, but I recall telling you that men wearing makeup is disgusting. Only sinners do so." He flinched, knowing he should've protested more when Peizhi insisted on covering his face with paint. Glasses were fine, a mask was fine... even if it did draw more attention than he wanted. He could deal with the staring... he could.

"This better not happen again." Was all he said before leaving, almost slamming the door shut. Jaejin let out a shaky breath and took the mask off, thanking God that he got away easy. If he had noticed the slight wrinkles in his bed or the untucked corner of his comforter, he would've been a goner. Changing into his pyjama's, Jaejin turned off his light and went to bed, only to stare at the ceiling, praying for forgiveness.

What had he gotten himself into?

⌘​

olol it's awk sorry
i wanted to write something other than sinners but i felt so dirty typing it
 
the people have to know, the love i used to own - i left it somewhere distant from home

 鍾

   裴

     智





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The gaunt pad of Peizhi's lanky index finger expertly waded along his phone's smooth glass surface as the other male disclosed his own number with ease unto the thin air between them. As the vocalized digits scrolled through his mind, the Chinese male was satisfied he now had an easier way to contact the kid now, and, with the newly made contact disguised under the name of "甜" resting easy in his address book, the brunette tossed the technological brick of communication into his satchel once more, before at last gazing at Jaejin a final time.

In the deepest recess of his subconscious, the older pondered if it was truly the correct choice to retreat for now. Sure, if he stayed, it would no doubt spark drama instantly, but... it's not like he preferred leaving the kid in a dangerous situation alone over that. He visibly hesitated, but soon Peizhi caught his wits and too waved goodbye when he was wordlessly dismissed from the windowsill. It wasn't the right time yet, or so his mind had repeated in monotonous echoes as he found himself scaling down the wall with a bit less executed expertise, than when he had climbing up it.

The carved soles of his boots now resting carelessly on the lawn surrounding the side of the house he'd just been trespassing within, the brunette gave a glance up at the window he'd once entered through, and wasn't surprised to notice Jaejin had fled, to confront his father, the taller was sure. His person lingered in the same spot for a long, heavy moment - the seconds ticking by lethargically as if they were glued to the night he was consumed in - prior to deeming it time to flea as well, before he pushed his limited luck a bit too far.

He didn't give another glance behind him as he pressed his way out of the yard; it wasn't necessary, so why do it? Not like he was longing being there with the runt or something... At this point, it merely felt like he was a bit responsible for whatever would happen to the kid from now on, that was all. He wasn't void of common sense - responsibility is responsibility.

Peizhi walked the couple of blocks between Jaejin's house and his motorcycle in a matter of minutes after his leave, and as he was walking along the gray pavement framing the street to his right, with the assistance of a thought-provoking vote initiated by his psyche, he realized was rather thankful to be going home. It was just going to be like every other night prior, and knowing that made him cheer up minimally. A soothing quiet night in his wonderful home... with Chunhua! Ah, Chunhua! He had to get back home immediately, it was entirely wrong to leave his precious queen alone unexpectedly!

The usual time it took for Peizhi to kick the bike's engine into working gear, and to successfully return home, was practically cut in half, with the aid of the hasty mindset that had swollen over his motivation. He swiftly parked his motorcycle in his accustomed area, and swept the leave-plagued ground with how quick he padded over the concrete leading up to his apartment building. No, he hadn't given looks towards any insignificant peon lingering in the main lobby, no; all that mattered was finally opening his front door and smothering his pet in all of the love he had to offer.




Peizhi groggily massaged his face with unfound delicacy upon waking up the following morning.

He was never a 'perfect sleeper,' in fact he had a chronic issue of having a hard time catching z's, so whenever his body decided it was time to disrupt his already ragged slumber, it wasn't that fun of a time. It took him numerous minutes ticking on the clock to get up in the mornings; the hour or so to do this mostly being comprised of laying in bed as he gathered his scattered bodily functionality with mere stares off into blank space.

But at least he had a bit more of a reason to get up today - granted, it wasn't much more than usual, but it was a little speck of an additionally nominal motive, at least.

Seeing Jaejin again.

Now, don't get him wrong, it's not because he would like to be in the kid's company, or something as incredulous as that... It was more so that he could inspect the dude, and ask what was up, to make sure nothing happened after he'd left last night - and to possibly console if anything had occurred. Peizhi didn't have a problem with admitting to himself that he was beginning to grow protective of Jaejin, but anything else was off of the table, not even able to be considered. He was only developing defensiveness over a vulnerable 'friend,' just as any human being would do.

Contrary to popular belief, Peizhi was human.




It was around 10:43 AM when the brunette had at last left his apartment. He was incredibly late to his first lecture, but it's not like it really indented itself as an issue in his train of thought. The accustomed mindset of 'why am I even here,' plagued him during his day again, just like any other boring afternoon. His sense of despising everything around him swallowed him up in a shield of self pity, as he sat in on his classes without an ounce of enthusiasm directed towards their respective subjects. He was so sick of this repetitive hell.

The hours ticked by, but thankfully it seemed like a quick, uneventful day, due to some sly wire twisting within his brain regarding the interpretation of the situation. He practically leaped from his last professor's session, making it out of the large educational building just before the intrusive dismissal beeping commenced.

Over the course of the day, Peizhi's visage had undertaken layers of ruing and detestation, as he'd forgotten about how his usual days were with how strangely soothing in comparison last night was- though, when he was at last free of the nuisances spilling out from the front doors of the college, he began to loosen up a bit. He was calming down with every inch being devoured with his brisk strides towards the car park, and when he'd reached a good waiting point for the crowd to somehow split and reveal a familiar porcelain face, he paused in his step.

Internally, as he received odd glances from pricks walking passed him, the Chinese male wondered if something happened to the kid following the brunette's forced leave. What if something happened...?
 
⌘​
Morning came far too quickly for the raven haired male, the sun shining in his tired eyes. Setting about his morning routine, Jaejin was about to wash his face when he noticed that the foundation hadn't smudged off in his sleep as much as he would've thought. They still covered the bruises relatively well- well enough that he could skip wearing the mask and sunglasses.

Nobody really paid any attention to the quiet male, so the fact that everyone's attention was on him yesterday really threw him off. He really wasn't built to be the centre of attention.

Throwing on another plain outfit, Jaejin made sure he had everything needed for another day of school before walking out of his room. His parents were already at work, no notes left for him anywhere nor any reminders.

It was lonely, he could admit that. He had realised this as being a fact of his life since he was a child.

It was nothing new.

-×-​

Jaejin's day could be described as ordinary, only a few people in his class even noticed the purple tinge peeking out around his eyes. It was barely noticeable so perhaps they had thought that they were imagining things. Whatever it was, he was glad that people weren't gawking at him once more, he had enough of that yesterday. His only problem was what would happen when he had to go home.

Running into Peizhi would be a mess, his heartbeat was quickening just thinking about it. He wasn't sure that the older male wouldn't readily jump at the proposal to leave him alone. On the other hand, perhaps he would be. Jaejin wasn't sure which one would hurt more: the willing acceptance of the other or an argument that would most likely span. Another tiff that would bring about Peizhi mocking his beliefs. On the other hand, if he readily accepted, it would show that Jaejin was nothing more than a game to pass time.

Not that he would be surprised. Doubt crept in his mind, whispering malicious thoughts. What if Peizhi was just toying with him? It would make sense, there was nothing interesting about him. He wasn't good at socializing, he was awkward to the point of it being debilitating, and his parents were too protective. It didn't make sense that someone like Peizhi would willingly hang around someone like him.

The bell rang, a dim sound through the fog currently residing in his brain. He stared blankly at the wooden desk, a certain feeling keeping him seated. He felt as though he would puke, his mind running with fantastical ideas.

For the nth time, Jaejin found himself not wanting to return home. Reluctantly, however, he picked himself up and forced his way through the crowd in the hallways, following the flow of people outside. Fresh air always seemed to make him feel better and yet this time it only served to make him feel worse. Like the beginning of the end was coming. Weary eyes scanned the crowds around him, his muscles tense as though he was going to bolt when he saw the other male.

It was a large school, perhaps he would be lucky and he wouldn't see Peizhi. Lady Luck was a cruel mistress, so perhaps she would turn a blind eye to his silent prayers.

⌘​
 
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                                               鍾 裴 智


'Please save me, I just wanna talk to you - how'd you throw me away... how'd you throw me away? I belong to you, you belong to me... How could you just throw me away?'

A pair of silky budded headphones had found their respective slithery ways to the brunette's ear canals sometime during his idle time standing among the sidewalk; the smooth and emotional male singer's whispers infiltrating Peizhi's eardrums and sending electric sparks to trail up his forearms with their delicate power. It was the eerie genre of song Peizhi really admired; a haunting melody derived of soft vexation due to the refusal of a said possession over another, all declared in a gentle, passive aggressive statement. He found these types of musical tracks to be the most relevant to his life, so he's continuously gravitated to such tunes to feel a little less lonely in the world. Someone else knows the heaviness of what dwells within his heart, and that fact alone eases the twinge of bitterness that usually orbits around his psyche.

'You should be here, you should be the one - but time is over. You could've-'

Peizhi's eyes had become slightly lidded over as he was gradually swallowed by the dark toned ballad wisps that his eardrums absorbed greedily, until he noticed his body had been tilting to a dangerous degree for a standing person during his avid listening. Upon this realization of his zoned out posture, the Chinese male quickly straightened and piled up his spinal tower properly, as he also pieced together he was still being scrutinized by the few remaining attendees of the college that continued to filter passed his displaced position on the pavement. He cleared his throat to attempt to dismiss the people peering at him, but eventually allowed his eyes to awkwardly leap to his shoes when he still felt the lingering stares of the more thick headed students. If it were any other day, the brunette would have stared back at the nuisances to successfully intimidate their blatant inferiority, but today just felt off...

Where was Jaejin?

Going through past thoughts, Peizhi could've sworn the accustomed time of the other's arrival where he stood was only a meager few minutes following the spilling of the released hooligans. The brunette gave himself a cloud of doubt; maybe it wasn't too much longer than usual, that it was his over-pondering head just making him experience the minutes as if they were years instead... But it really did feel like eons had passed in the time being. Perhaps it was the fact he'd been, more or less, worrying for the kid all day- or, more accurately ever since he was forced to leave his home the night prior. Did something... actually occur?

Peizhi's eyebrows knit together toughly at the overwrought contemplation, as he idly wiggled the toes of his left shoe over the scratchy concrete.

Should he just leave? He wasn't even sure if Jaejin came to his classes today, and if he hadn't, the Chinese male surely looked like a ridiculous fool waiting for someone who wasn't even going to appear... Hell, he looked like a dumbass regardless; he was letting his established reputation go to waste with every passing moment of looking like he was a yearning puppy waiting for human contact.

All of this was starting to scratch his complex the wrong way. Peizhi felt a little annoyed, a little anxious, a little embarrassed- never had he felt such an uneasy combination of emotions prior to now. He was feeling his cheeks get a tad hot, alongside his available air becoming restricted. It was most difficult to, but the male swallowed the formation of pride in his trachea, and at last went to survey the area around him one last time; he'd made a deal with his head to give it one last shot before leaving.

At least he could say he tried, right? That was more than was ever mentioned when Peizhi was involved, so it was a great feat indeed.

The tall boy's amber cognac irises slowly scanned the scene ahead of him, with his visage becoming plastered with a slightly irked but overall nonchalant expression as he searched for the one recognizable face among the lingering people in front of the colossal building. He was about 0.008 seconds away from spinning on his heels to wordlessly dismiss himself from the stupid waiting-act that he'd gotten himself into, but he actually did spot the familiar figure in the muddle of people - which made him groan internally.

But also sigh outwardly with relief.

Jaejin was okay.

Peizhi stretched his arms above his head to rid himself of the sleepiness that seeped into his joints, as he lackadaisically stepped over to the other male, kind of hesitant to be the one to start the conversation. It made his temple hurt a little at the thought, but it felt like if he didn't do it right then, then the confrontation wouldn't have ever happened.

When he felt he was near enough to the younger, "...Jaejin..." The brunette started uncomfortably, really feeling the bulkiness of how he felt being translated into how he spoke. "...You're okay?" Peizhi felt his eyes struggling to stay locked on one single thing; first it was the other's face, but then his pupils dodged eye contact, forcing him to peer at everything but Jaejin. He felt so graceless today, but after last night, his heart somewhat felt it was warranted. It wasn't a normal day, and he was dying to pry what happened after he left out of the kid, but he knew he had to supply himself with at least a small bit of patience, and not delve right into that topic.
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'You're okay?"

'Okay' was a subjective word, Jaejin was now realizing. He may have looked fine to others but he didn't feel okay. In fact, he felt like a ball of nerves when he was confronted by the other, by the sound of discomfort in Peizhi's tone. There was no way the other could've known about Jaejin's intentions, could've known about the awkward situation that Jaejin himself was going to make for once.

"I-yes?" It started as a question, his voice coming out surprisingly meek and squeaky for once. He couldn't help it, he was nervous, the rumours of Peizhi's reputation whispering through his mind. "I-I mean n-no." He breathed out soon after, his heart hammering in his chest.

He couldn't do this; not now, not today, never. It was simply a fact.

However, since he had walked up to Peizhi, since he had already spoken to the other, he was trapped in the conversation. The only acceptable way to excuse himself would be to mention that he was going to be late for his bus, yet the only problem with that was Peizhi drove. He would probably offer a ride. It sounded incredibly self centred to think that, yet Jaejin liked to think that Peizhi was a really good person.

Just a little intimidating.

Which is why he was having such trouble trying to form his scattered thoughts. The anxiety coursing through his veins was making him jittery, his hands shaking just a little as he tried to get the words out.

"I-I think perh-haps w-we shouldn't meet up?"

He certainly was self centred today with every single one of his sentences starting about himself. He couldn't help the way he flinched back at his hesitant question, already anticipating a rebuttal. Even if was just a spoken one, it would still hurt. Perhaps he could have worded himself better, explained his view- even if it was heavily flawed- and ended things amicably. This just seemed too harsh, a stuttered "wait" leaving his lips before he could stop it.

Jaejin needed to show confidence, like this was fully his own decision and not one that was persuaded by his father.
 
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                                               鍾 裴 智


Peizhi's serpentine orbs had continuously maneuvered his vision left and right beneath the sizable wave of uncomfortable funk that had been enveloping him, however upon hearing Jaejin at last respond to his posed verbal concern, to finally hear the kid's cheep tone after what felt like ever, the ocular devices seemed to snap back under his thick skull's control. Thankfully, with the renewed aim of his sight line, the brunette slowly gazed at the tad bit shorter male ahead of him, with a sternly weary glint now hazing over his once shaken irises. Although Jaejin answered somewhat positively, the Chinese male felt something was off within the thickening air between them. The way the other had said what he had was manufactured in a fashion that was pushing something unsaid under the light of day, and Peizhi was nearly about to come right out and demand what was really tinging around in the kid's head, when Jaejin seemed to beat him to it.

'I-I mean n-no...'

The instant he heard the horribly stuttered and unsure words that canceled out the ones prior, Peizhi's head clicked to the side in a bold manner. His facial expression steadily absorbed the emotions that were beginning to form within his chest, which were ones of aggravation. It was always a puzzle game with Jaejin, it seemed; the kid always had some hidden mindset to dance around in some inconspicuous way whenever he went to speak - but was he finally going to cut to the chase and quit the puerile playing?

What'd happened last night? The question that had been overflowing in abundance within his head all day clicked around his psyche like a plaguing bug once more.

Just as the brunette was a mere few seconds from allowing his full lips to spew his questioning statements regarding what Jaejin had meant before his pause, 'I-I think perh-haps w-we shouldn't meet up?' The other's words hit his eardrums as if they were the last words to ever be uttered on the planet. They echoed in his head numerous times; the repetitive boomerangs of noise attempting to make him see that he did in fact hear them without fault. He heard correctly, he, unfortunately, knew he did. He just couldn't swallow its acceptance beneath his disbelief... But as the seconds ticked by, the annoyance that his visage was once masked with was replaced with an even more potent vexation.

"Excuse me?" Although posed as a question, Peizhi's heavy baritone voice creaked out in a shockingly dark tone. "What are you saying to me?" His temples were starting to ache with all of the direction changes of his mind's gears. He felt sorry for this kid, just a few minutes ago? He wasted his time to make sure the kid was all right, spent time with him to make him not feel so lonely, even helped him in his own way, and this was how he was being payed back? By being told that they shouldn't interact any longer? He wouldn't admit it to anyone, he probably didn't have to, as it showed a little in the right side of his nominally twitching lips - but Peizhi was hurt. He'd melted his shell even a short fraction for Jaejin, and he was attempting to halt their friendship just like that? With a snap of petite, shaking fingers and a few barely intelligible stammers?

"去你妈的." ("fuck off.")

The brunette was overly heated to the extent of accidentally reverting back to his native language, but he blatantly didn't show any care for the rash slip of his tongue as he straightened up and appeared as though he were a millisecond from storming off. "Jaejin," His jaws visibly sawed together at the succinct pause, "How much do you really mean that. If you really mean it, then I'll leave. But only if it's you that is saying it, and not your parents." Peizhi's voice was low and warning, as he couldn't really dictate how his words were executed under his fit of pique that continuously bubbled within his veins.
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At the sound of Peixhi's tone, Jaejin barely repressed a horrible flinch backwards. He had only heard this tone once and only from one person: his father, and it hadn't gone well for him that time.

It was why he followed the rules, why he never strayed from his routine. It ended badly and this time it was crashing and burning far higher than he could've predicted.

Pathetically, Jaejin could feel his eyes watering at the foreign words, slipped so carelessly from the taller male's lips. The small tremors in his fingers started when Peizhi suddenly said his name, the commanding tone making his eyes snap up for a half second before focusing once more on the concrete path below him. He could see small tufts of grass growing in the cracks, free of the stone prison that had failed to hold them down.

If he had the time, he could easily see the metaphor his mind was presenting him, not-so-subtly hinting at him that he should take the almost blind leap of faith into trusting someone else.

Sadly, the lovingly placed bars around his free will seemed to be much stronger.

"It is-" For once, his annoying stutter was gone, but the thoughts in his mind kept holding the confident words back. Did he truly want to do this? To break someone's trust all because his father believed that friendships were meaningless? Because he was too insecure to finally start acting like an adult for once in his life and make his own decisions.

"H-how did you know it wasn't my decision?" He asked quietly instead, his racing heartbeat calming down a tad with the soft uttering. He knew he was playing with fire, the consequence of his previous comments already hanging in the air.
 
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                                               鍾 裴 智


Peizhi's slender nostrils flared in his bout of anger formed from his current situation. This was ultimately ridiculous, he couldn't believe the vocal utterances that his ears had proven to be true. The not-so-smoothly executed 'it is,' that had slithered from Jaejin's lips took the brunette aback. He was a millisecond from his brain approving his heels to jerk and maneuver his body away from the lanky kid in front of him - however it felt like the cement beneath the soles of his shoes had swollen and swallowed over his feet. He felt the dire need to tell the shorter male to fuck off once more, whether it be in his native tongue or not, and then never return to the other's company, but the lead that ate at his calves' veins halted these urges before they could even be indulged.

This admittedly made Peizhi even more annoyed at that given moment - 'leave the kid, he said it himself that he didn't want you around,' his mind echoed in a perturbed growl.

But his legs couldn't, wouldn't, didn't move. Why couldn't he just go?

Peizhi, about to scoff, as this was his second approach at defusing the situation and perhaps narrowing down mentally why he couldn't flee, crossed his arms with stubbornness over his puffed up chest. Maybe there wasn't enough closure found in Jaejin's bland statement, because it didn't feel authentic. The brunette's full lips were about to spit a serpentine 'okay,' though Jaejin had spoken before he had the opportunity to comment the snippy agreement. Peizhi was expecting some silly excuse that pardoned the kid's prior words, and one that fully dismissed the both of them from each other's presences once and for all, but once again he was given a smack of confusion to taint his cognac eyes, similar to the sentiment that struck his chest when Jaejin first explained they shouldn't continue their friendship.

After a long, long exhale of his pent up frustration, "...Jaejin..." The Chinese male started with a bit of agitation breathing over the call, whilst his left hand reached for the bridge of his nose to pinch it nominally. He was finding it difficult to continuously appear angry at such an innocent person, especially when they reveal something at that very moment that restored their aforementioned purity. "I would assume by now that I know you pretty well... It wasn't that hard to make such an educated guess." Peizhi allowed his hand to fall back to its respective side after grumpily massaging the bridge of his nose, and gave a lightly concerned gaze towards Jaejin; the anger that shielded his exterior merely a moment before seeming to have dissipated now, due to the new light shed upon the conversation.

"So you really didn't mean it, huh." He shook his head as if he were a disappointed parent scolding their child, and gently looked up to find his words in the clouds above. "What happened to make you suddenly think it was a good idea to piss me off like that? Hnn?"
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That, in all honesty, was a very good question. What had possessed Jaejin to suddenly approach the admittedly terrifying man and attempt to end a friendship? Perhaps it was the fear of what his parents would do once they found out that Jaejin had made a friend, someone they would immediately disapprove of after the first glance.

To them, it didn't matter how much of a good person was, if they gave off a bad vibe just from appearances alone they were automatically a bad person. It had rubbed off on Jaejin, to judge someone based off of appearance alone, which is why to him it didn't make sense that he had approached Peizhi in the first place.

It was discontentment that made him do it, most likely. The urge to run away once more hitting him with full force. However, the prior habit of listening to his parents with no question, the fear of their disappointment in him possessing him to end a genuine "friendship". Was it even right to call them friends? It seemed more like an acquaintance at this moment in time. It was a snails pace to the finish line of an actual friendship, but to him, it was getting there.

It was all a matter of trust, and it seemed like he just destroyed that path.

Keeping his eyes focused ont he path below, Jaejin slowly started to look up while Peizhi spoke, his gaze focused on the other's shoulder.

"I... well, my dad saw the make up." Nothing bad happened, the implications of what would happen next time his father caught him with it hanging heavily in the air after his bedroom door closed for the last time that night. "But even then that's a stupid reason to end a friendship over and I don't know why I thought it'd be a good idea but I guess I was just..."

Jaejin quickly cut himself off, his cheeks heating up a little at his sudden rambling. He didn't even have to say the last word, it was heavily implied, and even then it was silly. Why was he admitting that he was scared for once? He was getting too comfortable, another reason why he wanted to end it, he was already trusting Peizhi with more personal matters when it didn't concern him.

"A-anyway. I feel like an 'I'm sorry' won't make up for this." He coughed awkwardly, his prior embarrassment not catching up to him yet.
 
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                                               鍾 裴 智


The restless peering at the murky white fluffs floating leisurely across the sky far above his reach had resulted in offering the brunette absolutely no calming of his swelling inquietude, so the cognac ocular devices lodged within their respective sockets retreated rather swiftly, to instead simply land sloppily atop of Jaejin's also unsteady visage. The not so precise line of sight now staring the shorter's way clued that the other was also a bit uneasy in the situation, though the kid was definitely moreso the aforementioned sentiment; it was a smooth transaction to piece this together by the slow fashion he'd moved his head to look at Peizhi, but only being daring enough to have a staring contest with his shoulder.

At the continuous sounding of the rambling mewls spilling from Jaejin's lips, the Chinese male was admittedly sort of tuning out the unimportant details as they assaulted his ears, with the lackluster help of his automatically activated selective hearing. His father saw the beautiful makeup that happened to have been done by a god, and so now the kid feels bad for thinking it was a good idea to abandon ship at the first indirect interaction between his father and the infamous brunette - that wasn't all that hard to summarize from the unnecessary words.

His serpentine eyes casting themselves quite blandly towards the slightly shorter male, Peizhi hummed a huff in a borderline dismissive manner; the noise wordlessly signalling he was somewhat displeased at what had been uttered as Jaejin's concluding words. Having not tuned those out, "Ha. Not really. No." He spat bluntly, shaking his head in a stern way as he didn't dare sever the iron tough near-glare at the one who he still continued to scold.

"...But it is a start." Peizhi added following a slow half moment, in a just barely lighter voice; riddles of a playful smile rippling at the corners of his lips. Uttering the first bit of his next statement with a humourously fabricated dramatic tone, "Maybe I'll learn to forgive you of this, this, this just... completely awful thing you've posed our friendship with, if you accompany me at the coffee shop for a bit... Like, now."

Was it a test? A game? An authentic request? To the recesses of the brunette's cranium, it could've been chalked up to as a bit of 'all of the above,' though he was genuinely curious as to whether or not Jaejin would dare to dip a toe in his rocky, rebellious waters - especially after that ill attempt at ceasing doing just that, merely a few moments prior.

"And I would make a decision quickly, if I were you; I'm most definitely not standing here all day waiting for an answer."
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'Not really, no." The words that were accompanied with a sharp laugh were to be expected, Jaejin knew this, but it was still shocking. It was like plunging into ice water, you knew what you were diving into, but you didn't know how cold the water would be. You never really did. Jaejin's amber eyes skillfully avoided the stern gaze from Peizhi, going back to look at the cracked sidewalk. He truly did admire the tenacity of weeds, the fact that they were able to grow in the most inhospitable places said something about their constitution and will.

His eyes flickered to meet the other's briefly when he mentioned it was a start, the ghost of a hopeful smile on his face. It was hard not to get his hopes up, once he spoke he often ruined something. Another meek 'I'm sorry' escaped from his lips, his ears straining to hear the rest of the conditions to help repair any sort of friendship between the two.

After a beat and a somewhat harsh prompting, Jaejin nodded his head. He didn't want to appear too eager, like a puppy trying to gain it's master's favour, as that would be too pathetic even for the quiet male. "Yeah, sure. That would be neat."

Why was he tripping over his words now? He had been somewhat confident before, his words unhindered by any negative thought, so why now? Perhaps it was the unconscious fear that his father would figure it out, that he wouldn't have a good excuse when he got home. He knew he shouldn't mention his curfew like the first time, the petty dismissal of that concern needn't be repeated.

"Where is it, though?" He thought he was being clever, by seeing how far the distance was from his house he could excuse himself at the right time. The only problem would be a ride. Maybe he could lie to his mother once more, that there was a group project in the library.

It could work.
 
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                                               鍾 裴 智


Slithery cognac irises swallowed the view of a pretty eager Jaejin ahead of them greedily, as a weaselly curve of Peizhi's lips lifted at his daring countenance. Immensely amused at the other's words and mannerisms, his ominous exterior's vibe altered just slightly from a murky feel to a more transparent one, to be more wholesome and genuine in the situation that he created for himself.

"Don't be silly," The brunette started lightly, smirking merely enough for the expression to be classified as such, whilst he lackadaisically tipped his chin in the general direction that they would need to head towards in order to reach their discussed destination. Continuing when his vision had returned to Jaejin's visage, "It's the same one I've brought you to before. My favourite place." He felt his eyesight become just barely skewered with the smile his eyes had proposed following his statements; the coffee shop really was his most cherished location, aside from his elegant apartment, of course. It was a place with no drama, where nothing negative ever plagued his head, perpetually swirling with thousands of different scents that wafted at you the instant you tugged open the glass door at the front of the establishment... It was a practical vacation whenever he visited, albeit short.

Peizhi's eyes straightened and regained their serpentine shape, as he hesitated for a moment. "You forgot about it, didn't you?" With the brief query rolling off his tongue without much thought put behind it, he was slightly disappointed with the possibility that Jaejin had blanked past interactions between them from his memory. Though he didn't particularly feel the need to prosecute that plausible aspect just yet, as he was getting kind of fed up with the idle standing and scolding combo. It was getting to be really boring for the... complex male. Speaking swiftly as if to revoke the question from a few seconds prior, "Ah- never mind, it's okay if you did. Let's just go?" Peizhi's left ankle pivoted and briskly began the sequence of events that were comprised of maneuvering his body towards his parked motorbike; he didn't really look to make sure if Jaejin were as abrupt in catching up with him or not. The Chinese male was merely just aware that it was getting to be rather late, by Jaejin's standards, and that the kid would probably make any excuse to ditch him, should there be any room of opportunity - so he wasn't about to leave an ample space of chance for him to.
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"I didn't forget!"

The words escaped his lips before he could stop them, his cheeks burning from how quickly he had responded. He hadn't wanted to seem too eager, too desperate for approval. Shuffling on uncertain feet, Jaejin heard the words 'forget it' but didn't register them, his mind still reeling from the prior embarrassment. This day was going the exact opposite of the way he wanted it to. Fumbling with his phone he was able to get a somewhat believable excuse sent to his father before hurriedly catching up to Peizhi.

Despite being nearly the same height, the length of their strides was massively different. He supposed it came with self-confidence but even then he couldn't be sure. All he knew was that the other would most likely leave him behind if he dawdled too much, so he hurried on his way. Not too much to seem eager, mind you. Just enough to catch up.

His cheeks instinctively turned a pale pink once he reached the motorcycle, remembering how close they had to be. It wasn't that he wasn't used to human contact- he was- only with his parents. The only hugs he would receive was from his mother, so even sitting too close to someone on the bus was uncomfortable for him. He preferred to sit alone, so despite the freedom the bike offered was almost overshadowed by his discomfort.


it bad. it real bad
 
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Not halting his brisk footing that carried his body towards his motorcycle, even when he could've sworn his ears picked up a faint weasel of a comment slip from behind his shoulder, the brunette took the approximate moment-long trek to speed through his cluttered mindset along the way. Inviting Jaejin out to the coffee place again, although the kid didn't seem to wholeheartedly recall the first time, felt... right; calming... it was a deed that made him feel a bit less secluded knowing he wouldn't just be there alone, as he usually was. Though, instead of giving any sappy thoughts any air of possibility, he really chalked the soft emotion's core to just being delighted to retreat to his favourite place once more in the midst of his youth. Never would he admit to himself, let alone anyone else, that it was sometimes nice to have company to relieve his brief sensations of empty loneliness.

It was already feeling of nostalgia when Peizhi arrived at his bike's side, gathering with a lazy train of thought that he'd have to share the joint seat once again. As his pale, thin fingers grazed the leather seat whilst reaching for his helmet, the texture nearly made him slip unto a short barrage of flashbacks, reverting his vision to portray the memory of when Jaejin had struggled with sitting behind him for the first time. But, fortunately, the slightly taller male made it sternly clear to his preoccupied brain that he wouldn't get caught in the waves of reminiscent scenes, and soon turned to Jaejin - though not without continuing to shake off the plaguing memories subconsciously while he executed the turn of his spine.

"...I," As swiftly as he attempted to start, Peizhi quickly arrived at a verbal brick wall, prior to dropping his eyesight just below Jaejin's chin, not really looking anywhere in particular on the other's clothed chest. "I hope you're, okay with this, again." The boy gestured to the motorcycle through his paused words, but with the notion, he wasn't asking for approval, really - it was moreso of a light warning, that bore the unsaid information that Peizhi didn't have much care for any complaints Jaejin might've already been harboring before even getting to the slim vehicle.

Following a short second of hesitation, with his newfound tone deviously playful, "You know, I actually can't remember the last time you were on my bike with me? This will be a fun reminder, then." The black whiskey irises that had been inching over Jaejin's chest darted upwards to glance at the aforementioned male: a very succinct smile tugging at the corners of his eyes. His body commanding his left leg to sling over the seat of the bike, Peizhi hummed as he held his helmet against his chest with both arms, mirroring something a toddler would do with their favourite teddy bear they couldn't live without. He gazed at Jaejin, his facial expression having been contorted to display one of his more 'cute' appearances this time around; his eyebrows delicately raised, with a light pouting of his full lips.

"Won't biiiiiite."
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