Experiences Poofing Partner Support Group (A Roleplay Etiquette Discussion)


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Hi, my name is Simply and I have been "poofed" by multiple partners.

How long has this been happening?

Oh, I dont know. Probably since the beginning of my time on the site. But, I did not take offense to those really. They were few and far between, and there was always another partner right on their heels.

Now as my skills have developed, I became choosier about partners. My tastes and skills meant I was capable of a higher average word count and- as funny as it sounds- it became harder to write less. At this higher level, finding a partner became a bit more of a struggle, but still doable. The occassional poof was more frustrating now, but I still found my few partners who I just gelled with pretty well.

For a while I isolated myself to one fantastic partner (who now is my real life best friend). We had a great story, and she understood my random gaps in response due to my busy college schedule.

Now I find myself on the hunt again to add more roleplays in some of my favorite fandoms.

I have attempted a FFXV roleplay with FIVE PARTNERS and have been poofed a total of FIVE TIMES.

What the hell?

Reflecting on it, three poofed from the site entirely. One poofed from my radar after responding to an interest thread. The last one, and perhaps the one that bothered me the most, was someone poofing after a starter.

I dunno. I feel like I fairly represent my roleplaying abilities. I give average word counts, I provide writing samples, I detail my time commitments. I really feel poofing after a starter is one of the rudest things you can do in the roleplay community. You take such time and effort to create something from nothing and you're slapped in the face when you ping the OOC chat and hear only the most deafening silence. (But you still see their threads lighting up with their responses.)

So I'm a touch miffed. Anyone have similar experiences? Have you "poofed" a partner? Why? Any breaches in roleplay etiquette that make your blood boil?

The Poofing Partner Support Group is here to support you.


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I actually started on two sites where ghosting ( basically stop replying to someone without warning ) was so common it was actually considered perfectly acceptable behavior.

It was good for people who are getting started and might be intimidated by the idea of letting someone know things aren't working so they had free reign to just not reply and it was understood that they had left and no hard feelings.

Also I will never forget the time that someone apparently "ghosted" from a role-play only to find out later they were in a car accident and hospitalized for a month, which definitely got my attention and remains with me to this day.

So now whenever it comes to the concept of ditching or ghosting or whatever I do my best to tell my partners - Look if I'm gonna leave this roleplay I'll let you know and I'd appreciate it if you would do the same. But if it's been like a month and we haven't talked I'm gonna assume your busy or whatever and just move on with no hard feelings.


left site
Now that said the thing about this phenomena that does piss me off is not when people stop replying, I tend to give you the benefit of the doubt on that. Whether you got busy, forgot to tell me you're leaving, got in a car crash, who knows. It's all good no hard feelings.

However if you stop responding and then a month later you decide to post in a roleplay thread that is deader than a doornail then i'll get mad. Like don't just vanish then come back weeks or months later like nothing happened. That I'm not down with.

At least contact me first or something be like - yo sorry i left i had some blah blah family reason do you want to continue roleplaying?


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I haven't been fully poofed on, but my partner of seven years stopped writing rp recently. She started writing less and less, until she just stopped replying completely. She said it was writer's block, which I totally understand, but then she started mic rp in GTA5. She claims that it's easier and doesn't use much thought process, but they still do plots in game, so I'm not sure if that's true. It still hurts. We still talk ooc, but writing rp is a taboo subject. I'm trying to accept and understand, hoping she'll get writing unblocked someday. I know that sounds pathetic, but it's just so new that I'm still in that struggling stage.

I think the worst part of being poofed on is that it makes you feel like you did something wrong, or that they find your rp boring/not good enough.


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I hate being ghosted. Not only does it feel like you've just been dissed in some way, shape, or form, but a lot of the stuff I want to RP is fairly niche on this site. If the person I want to RP with drops off the map, it might be a YEAR or more that I find something in a similar vein that interests me again.

This tends to go to Groups far more than 1x1s. I hardly ever find any of my niche interests in a 1x1 search.


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I'm a notorious poof-er. I'm not even gonna lie. But it's usually because of crippling depression and I have a hard time taking a shower let alone responding to a roleplay.

When I feel better, I come back and apologize, but I don't ever expect anyone to be groovy with it and want to keep rping. It's frustrating for them AND me because most of the time, I really was enjoying the story and characters.

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