Realistic or Modern 𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚒𝚍𝚜

[solarsaphia]

P O L A R O I D S

reveriee + solarsaphia

 

[solarsaphia]

location: the addisons' apartment

mood: what the hell, let's give it a try

tags: reveriee

It was a rainy day, a beautiful one. The chill seemed to seep into Amber’s bones as she walked, intermittently shielded by trees or buildings, and she regretted not bringing an umbrella. Sunset was nearly here. Overhead, she caught sight of a sign that read ‘Change is on the horizon!’ in bright, colorful lettering. It was an ad for a gambling venue, but it still felt a little on-the-nose.

Amber let herself into her apartment, noting the non-appearance of her sister or father. It was a Thursday, so they were both off doing their various jobs, leaving her alone in the apartment for at least a few hours. A slow smile spread across her face. “Scout!”

The pint-sized terrier ambled out from the hallway, perking up immediately upon seeing the youngest Addison standing in the doorway. Amber giggled as Scout ran up to give her a greeting, petting his head, and as she looked around her place, tension drained from her shoulders. It had been a long day. A long day, a long week, a long year — but that wasn’t doing her any good. Amber was free to do what she pleased, having finished her history homework on the bus ride home, though she knew she’d have to get working on her dreaded math assignment later in the night.

Slipping off her shoes, Amber set a pot of water on the stove. It was definitively dark now; the sun bleeding tints of orange from where it slipped below the horizon, and she found herself in need of something to do.

That, of course, was where Google came in. See, Amber wasn’t an isolated person, exactly, but this winter had brought with it hours and hours of time staring at the ceiling, thinking about what she might have if she were not so afraid of letting others in.

So like most people her age, Amber turned to the internet with a simple query: LGBTQ+ forums. Even typing the words, a thrill ran up her spine, bordering the line between pleasant and nerve-wracking. She’d enough crises in middle school to be certain girls were her type, but a lack of queer friends made her feel almost as though she didn’t quite belong in her identity. Like looking into a tinted mirror.

A few minutes passed of aimlessly scrolling through Twitter. She frowned, about to turn her attention to looking for scholarship programs, when a post caught her eye. It was simple — an ad for a group chat titled ‘for the gays’, what seemed to be a relatively small forum.

The kettle went off with a high-pitched whistle, and Amber clicked the link before she could agonize over it too much.

I can just see how things are, she rationalized. There’s no need to commit. And that was an issue, too, but she ignored it, busying herself with stirring a pack of instant coffee and far too much sugar into a mug. In the background, her screen flashed with soft greys and greens. It was a normal night for a senior like her, but Amber couldn’t shake the feeling of more thrumming through her bones.

She blinked at the page, coffee cradled in her hands. It looked normal — like any other internet forum she’d browsed in the past — but she could see from the start the close-knit vibe it had. She swallowed.

Amber kept to herself, both in-person and online, for a reason. Committing was not a comfortable place for her, and she was selective with those she let through her defenses. What if she met someone? That was a prospect bogged down with a host of bad endings, and she had never been the most laid-back with online safety.

There was a beat of silence.

Fuck it.

> Where's beeinblue? In [for the gays]!

> beeinblue: hey, hey.

coded by solarsaphia.

C O L O R.

 

[reveriee]

nevaeh

coleman

fuck it let’s go

• .
• .
• .

• outfit
• location

  her bedroom
• tags

  solarsaphia

https:///www.nevaeh-coleman.com/N0VAEX

"Nevaeh, wait up!"

The brunette halted in her steps, turning back to see a flurry of whites and yellows dash towards her. Recognition struck her instantly.

"Hey, Elle. What's up?"

Elliana Samson was a caricature straight out of a kids' cartoon, with hair the color of a banana peel and a monochrome outfit to match. She was a sophomore -- freshly fifteen -- and the co-captain of the junior varsity softball team. Elle wasn't the most popular girl among her social circles. Her exuberance was like the yellow of her skirts; bright, cheerful, warm, but occasionally too overbearing and tiresome in its color. Nevaeh wasn't that close with the other girl, but she knew Elle just wanted more friends. No harm entertaining her at this point.

Elle broke into a smile. "We're meeting up with the theatre production team for pizza tonight! Haven't you heard?"

Nevaeh let out a breathy chuckle.

"Pfft, yep. Definitely have."

A scattering of members from both the varsity and JV softball teams were collaborating with theatre production on some sort of PSA project. Nevaeh wasn't too sure what it was about, but she knew it had something to do with academics; after that piece of knowledge, her mind had left the building.

"Sorry, can't join you guys."

Nevaeh continued, anticipating the words that would burst out of Elle's pink-glossed mouth.

"Need to catch up on assignments and shit."

Elle pouted. ". . . What? What do you mean, Nevaeh? You never do homework."

"That's why I gotta catch up. Can't get kicked out of the team for my grades."

Nevaeh gave her a lazy wave before turning back around and heading on her way.

"Tell the team I said hi!"

Technically, Nevaeh hadn't lied. She did have some assignments that begged her attention, as she always did. But Elle didn't have to know that she wasn't going to do them. Elle didn't have to know that she skipped out on their project (and it offered extra credit, too) because of her brother. Stepbrother, if you want to get technical. Finn was on the theatre production team. By the nature of their unspoken agreement to avoid each other as much as possible, that meant backing out for Nevaeh.

Not like she would've participated in the project anyway. Nevaeh endorsing a PSA on academic achievement? Pure comedy.

Nevaeh found herself in an empty home ten minutes later. She tossed her keys on the table, heading up to her room to grab her laptop. The rainy day had given her an idea for a new Tumblr theme, and Nevaeh needed to get the groundwork of the code up before it slipped from her mind.

Oh -- Eryko messaged me on Discord.

Eryko made Tumblr themes, just like Nevaeh. Same concept, only Eryko was much, much bigger. They had met and interacted with each other for the first time a few months ago, and the rest was history.

eryko

Today at 12:32 PM

hey vae, one of my friends became a moderator for this lgbtq+ chatroom !!
and she asked me if i could refer it to anyone (*^o^*)
its "for the gays" but im sure allies are welcome too haha
u dont have to join if u dont wanna !! but heres the link boo

The message gave her pause, but for a reason Nevaeh didn't want to acknowledge. It was a topic that lingered near the back of her head like a fog, a topic that never felt solid or grounded enough for her to face.

Nevaeh thought she was straight. Or at least, she was sure she came off that way. It was something people rarely questioned, including herself.

Recently, though, she had come to a few slow realizations. Like how she never took interest in the carnal activities that most of her peers enjoyed. Like how Nevaeh felt a little unsettled when she saw her friends making out with their boyfriends whenever they skipped class, deft fingers slipping under shirts.

If her friend had a joint, she wouldn't mind having a taste of it and letting the tendril of smoke curl into her hair, even if she didn't smoke on her own. If they had edibles or weed brownies, Nevaeh wouldn't mind letting the chocolate melt on her tongue and go to her head, even if she wasn't addicted to it. But she never felt the same way about sex. Or even kissing. She didn't want a sample at all.

Well . . . maybe kissing would be okay. But Nevaeh never thought about the jut of an Adam's apple, or about cropped curls and bony knees. Sometimes her thoughts would wander, but she would only think about tresses splayed like limbs. About hugging someone soft. Plush lips. Eyelashes like blooming flowers.

Fuck it. I'm doing it.

> N0VAEX just slid into [for the gays].

> N0VAEX: yo, what up
> N0VAEX: u can call me vae its great to meet u all

> renee03: Hello @beeinblue @N0VAEX!!! It's so lovely to have you join us! Feel free to ping me if you have any questions!
> renee03: @N0VAEX Hey, aren't you eryko's friend? It's great to have you <3

> N0VAEX: yep, u got that right lol
> N0VAEX: glad to be here

> renee03: Alright, I need to head on out right now, but feel free to talk among yourselves! That's why we're here ^^

> renee03 logged off.

> N0VAEX: @beeinblue hey whats up! are u down to talk
> N0VAEX: how are u doing today?

coded by reveriee.

 

[solarsaphia]

location: the addisons' apartment

mood: this seems kinda nice > dreading tmrw

tags: reveriee

Amber bit her lip. The post hadn’t lied — from the looks of it, she and the other new member were the only ones online at the moment.

Her hands hovered over the keyboard, frozen in mid-air, and she watched the two chat with growing fascination. That was the thing about the internet. She could just sit here, truly unnoticed, and pop in whenever she felt like it. It was oddly comforting, especially for one so used to the city’s carefully cultivated spotlight.


With the quiet pitter-patter of water hitting the sidewalk outside, the ping of a notification rang out like a gunshot. Amber blinked, startled. I should turn down my volume.


But she sidelined that thought for the time being.

↳ N0VAEX: @beeinblue hey whats …

> beeinblue: for sure! would love to.
> beeinblue: not much ngl, i made myself some sugar w/ a side of coffee so thats a highlight

A quiet smile tugged at her lips, the laid-back charisma of Vae drawing out some of her initial worries. She introduced herself as Bee, a nickname she hadn’t gone by since elementary, and let the random conversation topics they stumbled upon trump her natural awkwardness.

> beeinblue: renee said u know eryko?

Eryko was someone Amber had met by pure coincidence about a month back. They were a coder, a trait she found impressive by itself, and they’d reached out to see if she was alright with them using her art in one of their projects.


Years upon years into pressing a pen to a page and seeing what came of it, and the amount of joy art gave her was still surprising. The validation she got on social media was nice, of course, but what motivated her to continue was expression — not statistics. She’d accepted Eryko’s offer and introduced herself to the world of Tumblr themes. Making sprawls of code into aesthetic designs was incredible to her. Then again, she’d had people tell her they didn’t know how she made her art, so maybe it was more exposure than wiring.

> beeinblue: damn dude
> beeinblue: that’s so cool, i can barely get my computer working lmao
> beeinblue: yeah! they used some of my art on a theme a bit back.

The evening slid by. Skies of grey softened to a melancholy sunset of purple and blue before the sun caved and let the night take the reins. Amber made up for lulls in the conversation by poking at her headache-inducing assignment. Why the hell high school students with no STEM affinity had to take calculus would forever be a mystery to her. But with the radio playing in the background and the helpful distraction of the server, she could take it.

> beeinblue: i like most sugary food lol
> beeinblue: milkshakes are epic though, gotta agree w/ u on that.

8:42, the neon red of the living room clock blinked. Amber’s coffee cup lay abandoned on the table. Her father had texted to say he’d just picked up Charlotte, and if previous nights were any sign, they’d be home within the hour.


She sighed, pushing a piece of unruly hair from her eyes. The time spent half-chatting and half-working had distracted her from the dread she’d been feeling earlier. Tomorrow was the start of a new physics project — not just that, a partner project, one where pure chance decided who would work with who. Amber pulled up the course page with a distracted glance at her phone. Dr. Tan had explained it a few days back: they’d be working in a duo on a teacher-approved topic of their choice, setting up an experiment, and writing up their findings.


It was the usual, to put it simply. Amber didn’t mean to be bitter, but it was rare this kind of thing turned out well.

coded by solarsaphia.

C O L O R.