PhantasmMart!!!

[LostHaven]

Welcome to PhantasMart, fellas! This is a spinoff RP that has 0 relevance to the current story.


PhantasMart, the most chaotic, yet ridiculous supermarket to ever exist. Every day here is a new adventure! A janitor who is a badly disguised cosmic god? What about a manager who demands that the only food items sold is Mapo Tofu? Maybe we can have Grand Lancer as assistant Janitor? Who knows! Let heaven and hell be damned, LETS WORK OUR ASSES OFF!!!


(if somebody wants to be manager, PM me xD)


Roles (lol tell me if you want another one xD)


Manager- Kotomine Kirei


Assistant Manager- Gil-kun @Birdsie


Janitor- Beast @MrEvilMexican


Baker (mapo tofu chef person)- Saber @TaraSobiki


Assistant Janitor- Grand Lancer @SomeStupidWords


Cashier- Caster @St Stare


Delivery Guy- Berserker @Noxx Hollow


One Hot Chick That Doesn't Help at All And Still Everyone Likes Her Because She's Hot- Rider @LyssiNae


Accountant Guy Who Always Manages To Pay Less Than What Rent Actually Costs And Gets Away With The Rest Of The Money- Assassin @Gabriel97


Rival Company Manager Who Has A Spy In PhantasMart Who Is Beast But Nobody Suspects Him Because Why Would A Cosmic Monstrosity Be A Spy?- Gatekeeper @MrEvilMexican

 

[Birdsie]

Official Opening for this parody~~~!!

 

[LostHaven]

The speakers went online and Kotomine's voice spewed out of the thing.


'Oi Beast there's shit on Aisle 6 go clean it the fuck up'


He howled into the speaker. Beast grabbed the mop and begrudgingly cleaned up the mess on the floor.


I don't get paid enough for this... FUCK WHY WOULD A COSMIC MONSTROSITY LIKE ME BE A JANITOR!!!???


Kotomine turned around and put the mic down. He was in the Assistant Manager's office, and he turned back toward Gil-kun.


'Delievery should be coming soon... I think you know the drill?'


@Noxx Hollow @Birdsie

 

[SomeStupidWords]

Grand Lancer frowned, mopping rather inattentively as he stared at the other Janitor.


There was definitely something suspicious about his co-worker, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Perhaps it his bizarre appearance... Or the odd things he yelled... But it was unfair to judge people on things like that, really.


He continued to mop at the same spot, somehow managing to wear a small groove in the floor.


@MrEvilMexican

 

[LostHaven]

Grand Lancer frowned, mopping rather inattentively as he stared at the other Janitor.


There was definitely something suspicious about his co-worker, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Perhaps it his bizarre appearance... Or the odd things he yelled... But it was unfair to judge people on things like that, really.


He continued to mop at the same spot, somehow managing to wear a small groove in the floor.


@MrEvilMexican

(Lol his mop should be his spear)


Beast pointed at the spot on the floor, which Lancer had cleaned flawlessly.


There's still shit here.


He said, in a monotone voice. Beast wasn't sure if it were the fact that Lancer had made a dent in the floor, or the fact that Grand Lancer was just shit at cleaning, but he had a feeling Kotomine was going to kill him.

 

[Birdsie]

(Not sure if there'd be swear words in a Fate parody)


@MrEvilMexican


Gilgamesh was comfortably sitting in a custom-made chair with pillows that he pulled out of the Gate of Babylon previously. It was more like a throne than a chair. Gilgamesh gave a thumbs-up to Kotomine. "Of course I do." The King of Heroes responded, standing up and walking out of the office.


He made his way through the store only to stop next to the two foolish janitors. He frowned, then folded his arms and yelled. "Impudent mongrels! Look at what you've done with your stupidity! Now the floor is not even! This type of imperfection cannot be tolerated!" He reached out his arms to the right and left and two golden portals opened at his feet, with their exit pointed at the floor. They soon moved and rose high into the air, leaving behind two equally huge, squared columns. One was golden and the other was white. "These two are floor tiles. This column is made out of golden tiles and this one is made out of marble tiles. I want the whole floor replaced with these before your shift is over."


@SomeStupidWords


Gilgamesh walked past the two towards the exit, to await the next delivery from Berserker.

 

[LostHaven]

(Not sure if there'd be swear words in a Fate parody)


@MrEvilMexican


Gilgamesh was comfortably sitting in a custom-made chair with pillows that he pulled out of the Gate of Babylon previously. It was more like a throne than a chair. Gilgamesh gave a thumbs-up to Kotomine. "Of course I do." The King of Heroes responded, standing up and walking out of the office.


He made his way through the store only to stop next to the two foolish janitors. He frowned, then folded his arms and yelled. "Impudent mongrels! Look at what you've done with your stupidity! Now the floor is not even! This type of imperfection cannot be tolerated!" He reached out his arms to the right and left and two golden portals opened at his feet, with their exit pointed at the floor. They soon moved and rose high into the air, leaving behind two equally huge, squared columns. One was golden and the other was white. "These two are floor tiles. This column is made out of golden tiles and this one is made out of marble tiles. I want the whole floor replaced with these before your shift is over."


@SomeStupidWords


Gilgamesh walked past the two towards the exit, to await the next delivery from Berserker.

@Noxx Hollow


Beast sighed heavily and glared at Grand Lancer.


Dammit. This is on you.


He began to pull out the old tiles and replacing them with the gold and white ones.


How do you even qualify for Grand Lancer?


@SomeStupidWords

 

[Noxx Hollow]

@Birdsie


The rumbling started from nowhere shaking the entire store as Berserker charged into the store smashing the front door like a linebacker creating a sizable hole in the store, holding a package under his arm, looking around for the recipient for the package, however, the only thing really on the parcel was the world ‘golden’. Frantically searching around the store looking for the person it belongs to before getting upset, setting the package down on the counter and howling at the top of his lungs making the earth rumble in agony. 

 

[Birdsie]

"Ah, good!" Gilgamesh looked at the package that laid on the counter. The Gate of Babylon opened and swallowed it. "My delivery, excellent! Even though a mongrel you may be, you are still of some slight renown for managing to deliver this so quick." Gilgamesh looked at Berserker and said. "Here, your monthly paycheck and a little bonus." A Golden Portal appeared next to Berserker and a golden bar reached out to the bewildered Servant. "Your next goal is at Sumer Street! There is a truck full of mapo tofu there. Intercept it for the manager and you shall have finest rewards! Move it, or you will have to join the worms over there!" Pointing his finger at Grand Lancer and Beast who were busy swapping tiles.


@Noxx Hollow