Pandaskel's Futuristic Characters (Would love feedback!)

[Pandaskel]

The new home for my babies from an imminent time~ Critiques and feedback more than welcome!

 

[Pandaskel]

My charas from my RP, Argon City

Name: Nimo Rivera
Age: 18
Appearance :

Nimo is petite with a toned, athletic figure, often obscured by baggy, comfortable clothing. She has dark hair cut short, a downward sloping nose, wide set brown eyes, and a diamond shaped face.
Backstory: Nimo grew up in the shopping district of Argon City, where her family owns a beauty supply store. She was raised working there as part of her chores, first just with basic custodial duties and later with more complex assignments. She, her folks, and her little brother live on the floor above the store for the sake of convenience.
Her parents are somewhat old fashioned and didn't choose to genetically modify her beyond the typical disease-and-allergy-immunity bundle, which she sometimes resents them for. While other kids are pre-programmed to be exceptionally good at math, music, or engineering, she's just...there. She doesn't quite know what she's good at or what she's "meant" to do. She grew up happy enough, attending a public school and getting along well enough there with good grades and plenty of friends. She participated in extracurriculars, has a good relationship with her family, and things feel fair enough in her life, but she can't help but feel like there's something missing.
Personality: Nimo is a silly girl with lots of energy and a desire to both work hard and play hard. She's determined and strong, but she tends to choose keeping the peace over unnecessary conflict, so she can be something of a pushover at times. She thinks of this as choosing her battles carefully. Lately, since she feels she's being left behind by the rest of her friends and classmates, who have pretty much solidified their future life paths, she's been a bit irritable and grumpy. Rather than being released in the form of play, her energy has taken to boiling inside of her in silent anger at the world that keeps on spinning without her.
Goals: To find her purpose...whatever that means.
Gear:
-a backpack
-an Ala electromagnetic hoverboard
-a pair of old, vintage headphones and an adapter to connect them to modern devices
-a pair of A-Ware contact lenses (connects to devices like Sagaxes to provide a virtual retinal display)
-a Sagax (smartphone on steroids)
-a Temp-pack (temperature regulating patch that can be made either hot or cold and attached to the body at pressure points to help cool you down or warm you up)
-a water bottle
Other: She is currently on summer break and has been occupying her time by working at her parents' shop, Cutie Beauty, hoverboarding with friends, and exploring the city alone, trying to find her "thing"


Name: Helix Farthing
Age: 27
Appearance:

Helix is a tall, muscular man that moves with a grace that evidences his athleticism. His silver hair is cropped short and his rectangle shaped face contains a pronounced nose and jawline. His golden irises and silver hair are gifts from his parents, as he is a "designer baby", genetically modified at conception. His skin, which he likes to change up from time to time, is currently dyed green, and he keeps a clean shaven face when he can afford it with his busy schedule. He has geometric tattoos on his face, chest, back, and shoulders.
Backstory: Helix was raised by a librarian father and a surgeon mother in the high-end residential district of Argon City. He was treated with respect and love, along with some fairly strict expectations. Two scholarly proficient parents expected their child to go above and beyond, earn high marks in school, keep busy with extracurriculars, and settle on a respectable career path. When designing their child, they requested an exceptional ability for discipline and work ethic, but they kept clear of asking for any specific aptitudes. They wanted him to choose his path (somewhat) for himself.
Upon finding his development had begun to steer away from a path similar to that of his parents, they began to regret that decision.
From a young age, Helix showed a love of athleticism. Even if he wasn't good at some sports, he loved them all and could usually be found at the park, the local rec center, or the school's gymnasium. What at first was a healthy hobby became a worrying aspiration as he began to admire and idolize famous athletes, fantasizing about one day joining their ranks. When asked what he wanted to pursue when he got older, his answer always involved one planetary sport league or another. As he reached secondary and tertiary school, this became more and more of an issue and his parents insisted on his finding a more practical use of his time.
At last, they made a deal. His parents would allow him to pursue his passion for three years. After that, he would have to buckle down and get with the real world. Unfortunately, they didn't anticipate his quick and overwhelming success.

Helix had started kinetic racing in tertiary school in kinetics club and had caught the eye of several scouts at local and national competitions. He was quickly recruited and picked up by the Argon national league team, initially signing a five year contract with them. His success was unprecedented for someone who hadn't been genetically modified specifically for athleticism or engineering. Seeing that his dream wasn't so unrealistic or impractical after all, his parents finally relented and agreed to support him in his endeavors. He currently lives in a nice apartment paid for by his employers and spends his days training, working, partying, and training some more.
Personality: Helix is a hard working, disciplined individual who makes his decisions carefully and sticks to them fiercely. He's fairly inflexible and doesn't relent from his stance, even at the cost of conflict and, in extreme cases, friendships. It takes a lot for him to admit that he is wrong, but when he does, he is sincere. His manner is blunt and straightforward, but always with a smile. He doesn't care much for the politics and bureaucracy that comes in his line of work with pleasing sponsors, fans, and interviewers, but he can manage basic respect and politeness. He also loves adrenaline and thrills, tapping into his inner child whenever he gets the chance to do so and it won't affect his work.
Goals: To take his team to the top, planetary champions
Gear:
-a Sagax
-a pocket knife/multi-tool
-an ID card (serves as ID, credit card, and key to his apartment and convertible car)
-a Sagax Companion that his parents gifted him when he was 13. It's outdated, but it's still compatible with his other devices and he loves the thing.

Other: He is currently preparing with his team for the upcoming racing season. He acts as pilot and engineer, specializing in maneuverability.

 

[Idea]

My charas from my RP, Argon City

Name: Nimo Rivera
Age: 18
Appearance :

Nimo is petite with a toned, athletic figure, often obscured by baggy, comfortable clothing. She has dark hair cut short, a downward sloping nose, wide set brown eyes, and a diamond shaped face.
Backstory: Nimo grew up in the shopping district of Argon City, where her family owns a beauty supply store. She was raised working there as part of her chores, first just with basic custodial duties and later with more complex assignments. She, her folks, and her little brother live on the floor above the store for the sake of convenience.
Her parents are somewhat old fashioned and didn't choose to genetically modify her beyond the typical disease-and-allergy-immunity bundle, which she sometimes resents them for. While other kids are pre-programmed to be exceptionally good at math, music, or engineering, she's just...there. She doesn't quite know what she's good at or what she's "meant" to do. She grew up happy enough, attending a public school and getting along well enough there with good grades and plenty of friends. She participated in extracurriculars, has a good relationship with her family, and things feel fair enough in her life, but she can't help but feel like there's something missing.
Personality: Nimo is a silly girl with lots of energy and a desire to both work hard and play hard. She's determined and strong, but she tends to choose keeping the peace over unnecessary conflict, so she can be something of a pushover at times. She thinks of this as choosing her battles carefully. Lately, since she feels she's being left behind by the rest of her friends and classmates, who have pretty much solidified their future life paths, she's been a bit irritable and grumpy. Rather than being released in the form of play, her energy has taken to boiling inside of her in silent anger at the world that keeps on spinning without her.
Goals: To find her purpose...whatever that means.
Gear:
-a backpack
-an Ala electromagnetic hoverboard
-a pair of old, vintage headphones and an adapter to connect them to modern devices
-a pair of A-Ware contact lenses (connects to devices like Sagaxes to provide a virtual retinal display)
-a Sagax (smartphone on steroids)
-a Temp-pack (temperature regulating patch that can be made either hot or cold and attached to the body at pressure points to help cool you down or warm you up)
-a water bottle
Other: She is currently on summer break and has been occupying her time by working at her parents' shop, Cutie Beauty, hoverboarding with friends, and exploring the city alone, trying to find her "thing"


Name: Helix Farthing
Age: 27
Appearance:

Helix is a tall, muscular man that moves with a grace that evidences his athleticism. His silver hair is cropped short and his rectangle shaped face contains a pronounced nose and jawline. His golden irises and silver hair are gifts from his parents, as he is a "designer baby", genetically modified at conception. His skin, which he likes to change up from time to time, is currently dyed green, and he keeps a clean shaven face when he can afford it with his busy schedule. He has geometric tattoos on his face, chest, back, and shoulders.
Backstory: Helix was raised by a librarian father and a surgeon mother in the high-end residential district of Argon City. He was treated with respect and love, along with some fairly strict expectations. Two scholarly proficient parents expected their child to go above and beyond, earn high marks in school, keep busy with extracurriculars, and settle on a respectable career path. When designing their child, they requested an exceptional ability for discipline and work ethic, but they kept clear of asking for any specific aptitudes. They wanted him to choose his path (somewhat) for himself.
Upon finding his development had begun to steer away from a path similar to that of his parents, they began to regret that decision.
From a young age, Helix showed a love of athleticism. Even if he wasn't good at some sports, he loved them all and could usually be found at the park, the local rec center, or the school's gymnasium. What at first was a healthy hobby became a worrying aspiration as he began to admire and idolize famous athletes, fantasizing about one day joining their ranks. When asked what he wanted to pursue when he got older, his answer always involved one planetary sport league or another. As he reached secondary and tertiary school, this became more and more of an issue and his parents insisted on his finding a more practical use of his time.
At last, they made a deal. His parents would allow him to pursue his passion for three years. After that, he would have to buckle down and get with the real world. Unfortunately, they didn't anticipate his quick and overwhelming success.

Helix had started kinetic racing in tertiary school in kinetics club and had caught the eye of several scouts at local and national competitions. He was quickly recruited and picked up by the Argon national league team, initially signing a five year contract with them. His success was unprecedented for someone who hadn't been genetically modified specifically for athleticism or engineering. Seeing that his dream wasn't so unrealistic or impractical after all, his parents finally relented and agreed to support him in his endeavors. He currently lives in a nice apartment paid for by his employers and spends his days training, working, partying, and training some more.
Personality: Helix is a hard working, disciplined individual who makes his decisions carefully and sticks to them fiercely. He's fairly inflexible and doesn't relent from his stance, even at the cost of conflict and, in extreme cases, friendships. It takes a lot for him to admit that he is wrong, but when he does, he is sincere. His manner is blunt and straightforward, but always with a smile. He doesn't care much for the politics and bureaucracy that comes in his line of work with pleasing sponsors, fans, and interviewers, but he can manage basic respect and politeness. He also loves adrenaline and thrills, tapping into his inner child whenever he gets the chance to do so and it won't affect his work.
Goals: To take his team to the top, planetary champions
Gear:
-a Sagax
-a pocket knife/multi-tool
-an ID card (serves as ID, credit card, and key to his apartment and convertible car)
-a Sagax Companion that his parents gifted him when he was 13. It's outdated, but it's still compatible with his other devices and he loves the thing.

Other: He is currently preparing with his team for the upcoming racing season. He acts as pilot and engineer, specializing in maneuverability.

I am sensing a bit of a theme with you characters, a pattern if you will: You build very solid characters with a strong focus on a particular central theme around which the character is basically built. As I said in my other comment therefore, your characters will be at their best when you are giving a proper and serious exploration of the themes (though these characters are scifi, so there is more you can do it with them without risking falling into breaking the character due to thematic one-sided-ness).

Anyway, great characters, I am a little confused as to why those parents thought to give the son they appearantly wanted to persue an academic life some perfect body for sports, but I suppose it boils down to "parents want the best for their child", so it gets a pass.

 

[Pandaskel]

I am sensing a bit of a theme with you characters, a pattern if you will: You build very solid characters with a strong focus on a particular central theme around which the character is basically built. As I said in my other comment therefore, your characters will be at their best when you are giving a proper and serious exploration of the themes (though these characters are scifi, so there is more you can do it with them without risking falling into breaking the character due to thematic one-sided-ness).

Anyway, great characters, I am a little confused as to why those parents thought to give the son they appearantly wanted to persue an academic life some perfect body for sports, but I suppose it boils down to "parents want the best for their child", so it gets a pass.

Thanks for the feedback!

-What does genre have to do with anything?

-Where'd you read that the parents gave him an athletic body? I certainly don't remember writing it.

 

[Idea]

What does genre have to do with anything?

In the science fiction there is a lot more one can explore instead of the characters, namely, the setting. So as opposed to that second character i reviewed which was in a modern setting and thus kind of limited to exploring his own personality and character as the focus, these characters have the possibility of exploring their relation to the setting as a focus.

-Where'd you read that the parents gave him an athletic body? I certainly don't remember writing it.

Helix is a tall, muscular man that moves with a grace that evidences his athleticism. His silver hair is cropped short and his rectangle shaped face contains a pronounced nose and jawline. His golden irises and silver hair are gifts from his parents, as he is a "designer baby", genetically modified at conception.

 

[Pandaskel]

In the science fiction there is a lot more one can explore instead of the characters, namely, the setting. So as opposed to that second character i reviewed which was in a modern setting and thus kind of limited to exploring his own personality and character as the focus, these characters have the possibility of exploring their relation to the setting as a focus.

His gold eyes and silver hair? That's not very athletic...

 

[Idea]

His gold eyes and silver hair? That's not very athletic...

No I just took it that the whole body was designed.

 

[Pandaskel]

No I just took it that the whole body was designed.

Oh, wherever a trait that was specifically chosen is addressed, it is stated as a parental choice. The ones I remember are his hair and eye color, and his discipline and work ethic.

Besides, you can be muscular and graceful despite what body you were born with. Again, discipline and work ethic.