Advice/Help Overwhelmed by making a interest check

[HorizonsBoon]

Hello, My name is Boon. I am currently working on a interest check for an rp idea that ive been working on for the better past year, which was really an effort to try and cram in all of my OCs into a single concrete world of Humans, Machines, and Monsters. Im sure you have seen it and scrolled by, but im trying to revise and update it. Ive been so hyperfixed on this singular rp plot, so i would love some help on trying to make a good intro for it.

Ive seen so many trheads where it was like "you gotta hve more than one plot idea" or "state your boundaries", which i understand. Its so hard for me to accomplish that though. Ive always been the one to jump right into things. Trying to actually sit down and put things in a attractive order has me quite frazzled lol

 

[Idea]

So, if I'm understanding correctly, you don't so much have a plot as you a setting. What you have / what you most want is a given world (this particular world in which you crammed a bunch of OCs) rather than a specific story.

Do correct me if I'm mistaken about this.

 

[HorizonsBoon]

So, if I'm understanding correctly, you don't so much have a plot as you a setting. What you have / what you most want is a given world (this particular world in which you crammed a bunch of OCs) rather than a specific story.

Do correct me if I'm mistaken about this.

Oh you are definitely right! The plot is just little smatterings of ideas and fight scenes in my head along with some dramatic stuff. I love my world and the effort I put into it, and I wanna try and have people as interested in it as I am!

Basically you are supposed to spawn in the world within a forest as a Monster, Human, or Machine(each of which would spire some interesting interaction with my characters as some of them are xenophobic. There would be some mystery elements as strange things happen throughout the Monster kingdom, and you'd eventually explore the Monolith.

 

[Idea]

Oh you are definitely right! The plot is just little smatterings of ideas and fight scenes in my head along with some dramatic stuff. I love my world and the effort I put into it, and I wanna try and have people as interested in it as I am!

Basically you are supposed to spawn in the world within a forest as a Monster, Human, or Machine(each of which would spire some interesting interaction with my characters as some of them are xenophobic. There would be some mystery elements as strange things happen throughout the Monster kingdom, and you'd eventually explore the Monolith.

Well, that being the case I would recommend trying to think of different potential premises for stories that happen within your world. Think of it like a camera pointing at several potential interesting places and showcasing a bit of what might be happening in there for people to participate in.



I want to make on thing clear however: People are not going to be interested in your world, much less the OCs you put in there, to the degree you do. Not at first. You can sell people on some interesting aspects of the world but "The King of Terraria" is a meaningless term, "A Kingdom where everyone is able to use Earth magic and a people are divided by the king of rocks / earth they can manipulate" that at least has some potential to attract someone. So, some advice based on this:

-Do not bank on people being interested in your stuff at the start, you gotta sell them on the most interesting aspects. Try to focus on some key points that you believe are the most appealing and do not have anything to do with being part of your previous work.

-Remember people need room for their own ideas and interests. While there is always an element of match-making in an interest check, but ultimately people are interested first and foremost in what they can gain and what they make. Whatever plot is made has to be at least in large part about their character (as well as your own of course, but the point I'm stressing here is that the presence of the other character musn't be replaceable nor addressed only in passing), and the other person needs to have room to breathe and create in whatever setting and scenario you put them in. Long story short: Try to think about the other person's role here, what do they get to be here that's special or they can't get in the next interest check over?

-Mystery may seem like a good selling point, but mystery only goes as far as you've made what you actually show interesting or appealing. Put in other words, a mystery is only (and even then only to an extent) something you should make part of the core appeal if it's specifically a roleplay on a mystery story. The appeal of a setting is ALWAYS on what you show, not in what you hide.

-Keep any lore you share at first relevant to the appeal or to explain the premise. If you can't keep it short, you need to organize it better. This doesn't mean it has to be tiny though. Just that, as far as the interest check goes, you shouldn't make someone sit through a bunch of irrelevant stuff to the central appeal of what you are proposing.



Now, leaving that aside, I took a quick look at your interest check, and here's my comments:
1. It needs actually relevant context. The creation myth/origin may be interesting and all, but it's a lore-dump. It doesn't explain anything about any plot, nor about the current situation of the setting the characters are in. By reading it I have no idea what kind of a technological level, genre, any hint of a cultural aspect, anything else I could anchor a character idea on. All the interesting aspects are either in the past or made distant, and that's assuming one finds the aspects I am talking about here interesting to begin with.

2. It lacks information on your preferences and requirements. Do you prefer to play in threads or PMs? What kind of post length do you like best? How often do you want people to post? Do you have any limits to speak of? What about things you'd like in a partner? Where do you prefer to talk OOC? Etc...
If you're in doubt about what kind of information to add I would highly recommend going through a bunch of interest checks.




I hope this helps! I do apologize if my language was crude at any point during this, I realized after some typing some of that stuff that I'm probably more tired than I thought going in... Just finished exams and it's starting to get late here...

In either case, I hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck!

 

[HorizonsBoon]

God that actually helps ALOT LMAO THANK YOU ARRGHH!!

 

[HorizonsBoon]

You are right it was an utter lore dump. And to keep it in relevant times, should I make something that would display technological standard? Because currently there is a war between Monsters and Humans, where the Humans are using a power to defeat them. How could I best accomplish this?

 

[Idea]

And to keep it in relevant times, should I make something that would display technological standard?

It would be good to make mention of it, but you don't need to be explicit. For example, if the setting were a scifi one, a mention of spaceships might suffice to communicate that. if we're talking about an urban fantasy, then some urban element + some kind of magic.

However, before anything else, I think it's important for you to define what the most important, the core aspects of the setting. You seem to mention the war a lot, so that's probably one of them and that might be a good place to start- what impact does the war have on the setting in very general terms? What does each side want? Who exactly is the monster side? Are players able to be on either side, what exactly is this power that gives humanity an edge? Those answers might be a good start.

I need to sleep right now, but if you want more help I'll try to reply in the morning...

 

[HorizonsBoon]

It would be good to make mention of it, but you don't need to be explicit. For example, if the setting were a scifi one, a mention of spaceships might suffice to communicate that. if we're talking about an urban fantasy, then some urban element + some kind of magic.

However, before anything else, I think it's important for you to define what the most important, the core aspects of the setting. You seem to mention the war a lot, so that's probably one of them and that might be a good place to start- what impact does the war have on the setting in very general terms? What does each side want? Who exactly is the monster side? Are players able to be on either side, what exactly is this power that gives humanity an edge? Those answers might be a good start.

I need to sleep right now, but if you want more help I'll try to reply in the morning...

I appreciate it alot!! Thank you and have a good rest. I'll be working on my thing while you sleep egbsnsnsb

 

[HorizonsBoon]

this is what i have so far. This is very hard to do


This is my world of primordial power, Monsters, Humans, and Machines! Its been something ive been wanting to RP for awhile! I havent RPed in a ver ver long time and i just want to get back into it with this idea that ive been fleshing out for awhile, and hopefully get some help actually developing the lot further in places i cant dream of! Anyways here is what i have so far:

----

The year is 30X, and Monsters rule over a vast place of rich soil and rivers. Their presence has long since twisted the continent into a place were they can survive, with their magic seeping into the white sand that burns in the east, through the spiraling trees of the midnight forests, and within the very animals and fruit they grow and harvest for food. Agriculture and culinary expertice is what Monsters are known for, as they feast on the essences that make their bodies. This land? It didnt truly belong to them.

Their presence still lingers, those Humans. Their technology, which had shaped the Monsters culture in harvesting, and their old metal ruins and concrete tombs which had been reclaimed by the very nature that had been changed by magic. It had been so long since the Monsters spawned from those pools of Light, it was hard to believe that they ever existed. Until one day...they made their myth true. With a roaring beast in the sky, with clouds rolling over leaden blades made itself a blight in the bright blue sky. It was the first of many. The thought of peace graced thr Monster hierarchy and had opened their arms wide. Instead, the true power of that technology that they salvaged was unleashed on them, first starting the Long War.

They wanted their land back, and fought because they were slowly dying.

Then they used a abhorrent and viceral power, which had become the greatest fear of the Monsters. The Void. A dark substance with the capability to utterly erase greater powers and corrupt.

 

[Idea]

this is what i have so far. This is very hard to do


This is my world of primordial power, Monsters, Humans, and Machines! Its been something ive been wanting to RP for awhile! I havent RPed in a ver ver long time and i just want to get back into it with this idea that ive been fleshing out for awhile, and hopefully get some help actually developing the lot further in places i cant dream of! Anyways here is what i have so far:

----

The year is 30X, and Monsters rule over a vast place of rich soil and rivers. Their presence has long since twisted the continent into a place were they can survive, with their magic seeping into the white sand that burns in the east, through the spiraling trees of the midnight forests, and within the very animals and fruit they grow and harvest for food. Agriculture and culinary expertice is what Monsters are known for, as they feast on the essences that make their bodies. This land? It didnt truly belong to them.

Their presence still lingers, those Humans. Their technology, which had shaped the Monsters culture in harvesting, and their old metal ruins and concrete tombs which had been reclaimed by the very nature that had been changed by magic. It had been so long since the Monsters spawned from those pools of Light, it was hard to believe that they ever existed. Until one day...they made their myth true. With a roaring beast in the sky, with clouds rolling over leaden blades made itself a blight in the bright blue sky. It was the first of many. The thought of peace graced thr Monster hierarchy and had opened their arms wide. Instead, the true power of that technology that they salvaged was unleashed on them, first starting the Long War.

They wanted their land back, and fought because they were slowly dying.

Then they used a abhorrent and viceral power, which had become the greatest fear of the Monsters. The Void. A dark substance with the capability to utterly erase greater powers and corrupt.

That last line could probably use better placement, the penultimate light seems more like a conclusion, so it would probably be best to rephrase them to swap. Still, aside from that I think this is leagues better! It probably wouldn't work as the pitch by itself (because there is no plot / premise you're selling yet so a person might still be lost) but it could definitely work as a great intro!


I would add a few short plot suggestions after that, something very summarized (unless you'd like to make it more complex of course) and of course, the OOC information about yourself and your preferences.

 

[HorizonsBoon]

That last line could probably use better placement, the penultimate light seems more like a conclusion, so it would probably be best to rephrase them to swap. Still, aside from that I think this is leagues better! It probably wouldn't work as the pitch by itself (because there is no plot / premise you're selling yet so a person might still be lost) but it could definitely work as a great intro!


I would add a few short plot suggestions after that, something very summarized (unless you'd like to make it more complex of course) and of course, the OOC information about yourself and your preferences.

Ohhh okay I love the specifics here. I really really appreciate this and for steering me in the right direction!!

 

[Idea]

Ohhh okay I love the specifics here. I really really appreciate this and for steering me in the right direction!!

Well, it is a lot simpler to point out specific in terms of reviewing work than it is to give more general advice. After all if there was an easy trick to get people's attention everyone would do it and it would stop working.

 

[HorizonsBoon]

That last line could probably use better placement, the penultimate light seems more like a conclusion, so it would probably be best to rephrase them to swap. Still, aside from that I think this is leagues better! It probably wouldn't work as the pitch by itself (because there is no plot / premise you're selling yet so a person might still be lost) but it could definitely work as a great intro!


I would add a few short plot suggestions after that, something very summarized (unless you'd like to make it more complex of course) and of course, the OOC information about yourself and your preferences.

Okay so then the pitch itself would be like "your character would be doing this this and this, and would be this specific thing" right?

 

[HorizonsBoon]

So like i want the technological aspects to be somehhat modern or dystpopuc outside of major cities. Because Monsters salvaged technology and learned from it and created like massive solarpunk cities with trams and trains running the majority of their territories, and human cars being reserved for the "military". Humans are much more advanced technically but are limited due to resources, which is one of the reasons they want to invade the Monsters. That and their arrival kinda destroyed alot of the planet, but also saved it. Basically a massive rewrite of the fundemental princeples of earth.

 

[Idea]

Okay so then the pitch itself would be like "your character would be doing this this and this, and would be this specific thing" right?

Well, the pitch itself would be more the whole thing, both the "intro" (in airquotes because whether it is an intro or not depends on whether you wish to take my advice in that regard) as well as any plots/premises you propose and even the OOC information itself is part of the pitch - The whole interest check is a pitch. It's a pitch selling people on why they should choose to use their time and dedication roleplaying with you as opposed to all the other offers and every other thing they could be doing with their time.

That nitpick aside, the plots / premises I suppose might be something along those lines?


To give an example, a while back I made a plot set in Euphorium -a world of my creation, in which free will is a property of matter, and everything that makes one different from, say, a random pile of sand, is a result of that- from life, to willpower, to sentience, and magic.

One of the plots I pitched within this setting was during what was called the Oblivion Wars, a massive war caused by the animosity of the old social structure wielding magic requiring a enormous amount of teaching and discipline, and the new tool-based magic that anyone and their mother could use, though it was more limited. There's more details but that should be enough context for now.

The plot regarded a character who was on their way to be assassinated and was rescued by this group of magic researchers who had developed a spell they could be used to put an end to the war once and for all. In order to do this, a number of allies needed to be gathered and preparations made, so the plot was centered around completing these preparations before the war escalated beyond anyone's saving.


You don't want to get too specific when determing the plot, you just want enough to have context. You want to define what the other character's role is, what kind of setting you're on (you've got that covered in the intro) and what, essentially, the plot is about. I would also generally recommend making sure to at least outline something that makes the character the other player is using as uniquely fitting for their role, something that will make them special or important.

 

[HorizonsBoon]

Well, the pitch itself would be more the whole thing, both the "intro" (in airquotes because whether it is an intro or not depends on whether you wish to take my advice in that regard) as well as any plots/premises you propose and even the OOC information itself is part of the pitch - The whole interest check is a pitch. It's a pitch selling people on why they should choose to use their time and dedication roleplaying with you as opposed to all the other offers and every other thing they could be doing with their time.

That nitpick aside, the plots / premises I suppose might be something along those lines?


To give an example, a while back I made a plot set in Euphorium -a world of my creation, in which free will is a property of matter, and everything that makes one different from, say, a random pile of sand, is a result of that- from life, to willpower, to sentience, and magic.

One of the plots I pitched within this setting was during what was called the Oblivion Wars, a massive war caused by the animosity of the old social structure wielding magic requiring a enormous amount of teaching and discipline, and the new tool-based magic that anyone and their mother could use, though it was more limited. There's more details but that should be enough context for now.

The plot regarded a character who was on their way to be assassinated and was rescued by this group of magic researchers who had developed a spell they could be used to put an end to the war once and for all. In order to do this, a number of allies needed to be gathered and preparations made, so the plot was centered around completing these preparations before the war escalated beyond anyone's saving.


You don't want to get too specific when determing the plot, you just want enough to have context. You want to define what the other character's role is, what kind of setting you're on (you've got that covered in the intro) and what, essentially, the plot is about. I would also generally recommend making sure to at least outline something that makes the character the other player is using as uniquely fitting for their role, something that will make them special or important.

This is my world of primordial power, Monsters, Humans, and Machines! Its been something ive been wanting to RP for awhile! I havent RPed in a ver ver long time and i just want to get back into it with this idea that ive been fleshing out for awhile, and hopefully get some help actually developing the lot further in places i cant dream of! Anyways here is what i have so far:

----

The year is 30X, and Monsters rule over a vast place of rich soil and rivers. Their presence has long since twisted the continent into a place were they can survive, with their magic seeping into the white sand that burns in the east, through the spiraling trees of the midnight forests, and within the very animals and fruit they grow and harvest for food. Agriculture and culinary expertice is what Monsters are known for, as they feast on the essences that make their bodies. This land? It didnt truly belong to them.

Their presence still lingers, those Humans. Their technology, which had shaped the Monsters culture in harvesting, and their old metal ruins and concrete tombs which had been reclaimed by the very nature that had been changed by magic. Until one day...they made their myth true. With a roaring beast in the sky, with clouds rolling over leaden blades made itself a blight in the deep azure expanse far above. It was the first of many. The thought of peace graced thr Monster hierarchy and had opened their arms wide. Instead, the true power of that technology that they salvaged was unleashed on them, first starting the Long War.

---
The war is raging in a mashup world of urban fantasy, industrialism, reclaimed nature, and dystopian themes. Where you will get to explore the cities and territories of the Monsters.

One plot i have in mind is that your oc, which is required to be a Monster(could be a furry or original design--which could be humanoid in shape but cannot be mistalen for a human) would be a ressurected creature made from a old warriors dust and with a very powerful and old Soul known as "The Glint" and would be set on a path to put an end to the war, but not to the humans themselves. There is something much darker rooted in the veins of human society, and its spreading to your homeland. Along with interracting with my ocs, youll explore the culture and traditions that makes them...human..in a way. You will be the target of many enemies, because of your power.

There will also be subplots including my race of Machines where youll explore their importance to the Monsters, and where they dissapeared to.

---
About me:

-i post about 2-3 paragraphs and am semi lit, and i will always try to mirror posts.

-I work throughout the week, incluing chores, so most of my day is taken up. I will always try to post once or twice in a week.

-i work well with suggestions to plot or some headcannons--communication and discussuin is just lovely!

-I rp in threads, but i loke to keep OOC to PMs for organizational and energy purposes.

-I have other hobbies i like to indulge in like drawing and playing videogames. I also just love talking about OCs and ships too, outside of RP.

-I live along the equator, and obey the EST timezone.


What i expect from you:

I want someone who is friendly and enthusiastic, first and foremost. If i cant like talk to you and be comfortable then i cant really continue with the rp. I love the energy in things! Im looking for a partner who can provide me entertainment or ideas(mostly adding to the story itself as this rp is supposed to be fun. I want someone who will care about my rp and will try and help me so that it can be the best it can be, with development, or headcannons, or info. Im so open to suggestions you have no idea and i will actually love discussing things with you. I also love humor and jokes, whether you can include sarcasm of just some classic gags would be awesome, or just laughing as we rp in general!! I love it when i can sit down and laugh and have fun while creating.

If we could keep talking frequently, as to show your interest still then that would be great. I dont want to be ghosted! So just a check in would be nice yknow :3

I appreciate effort put into every post! So if you write in 15 lines on PC then ill try and match that energy! At the least it should be 7 lines. I dont enjoy one liners.

Everything stays within RPN TOS. This rp will take on gorey or dark themes. If that bothers you then this isnt for you.

 

[HorizonsBoon]

Im pretty proud of this so far!!

 

[Idea]

This is my world of primordial power, Monsters, Humans, and Machines! Its been something ive been wanting to RP for awhile! I havent RPed in a ver ver long time and i just want to get back into it with this idea that ive been fleshing out for awhile, and hopefully get some help actually developing the lot further in places i cant dream of! Anyways here is what i have so far:

----

The year is 30X, and Monsters rule over a vast place of rich soil and rivers. Their presence has long since twisted the continent into a place were they can survive, with their magic seeping into the white sand that burns in the east, through the spiraling trees of the midnight forests, and within the very animals and fruit they grow and harvest for food. Agriculture and culinary expertice is what Monsters are known for, as they feast on the essences that make their bodies. This land? It didnt truly belong to them.

Their presence still lingers, those Humans. Their technology, which had shaped the Monsters culture in harvesting, and their old metal ruins and concrete tombs which had been reclaimed by the very nature that had been changed by magic. Until one day...they made their myth true. With a roaring beast in the sky, with clouds rolling over leaden blades made itself a blight in the deep azure expanse far above. It was the first of many. The thought of peace graced thr Monster hierarchy and had opened their arms wide. Instead, the true power of that technology that they salvaged was unleashed on them, first starting the Long War.

---
The war is raging in a mashup world of urban fantasy, industrialism, reclaimed nature, and dystopian themes. Where you will get to explore the cities and territories of the Monsters.

One plot i have in mind is that your oc, which is required to be a Monster(could be a furry or original design--which could be humanoid in shape but cannot be mistalen for a human) would be a ressurected creature made from a old warriors dust and with a very powerful and old Soul known as "The Glint" and would be set on a path to put an end to the war, but not to the humans themselves. There is something much darker rooted in the veins of human society, and its spreading to your homeland. Along with interracting with my ocs, youll explore the culture and traditions that makes them...human..in a way. You will be the target of many enemies, because of your power.

There will also be subplots including my race of Machines where youll explore their importance to the Monsters, and where they dissapeared to.

---
About me:

-i post about 2-3 paragraphs and am semi lit, and i will always try to mirror posts.

-I work throughout the week, incluing chores, so most of my day is taken up. I will always try to post once or twice in a week.

-i work well with suggestions to plot or some headcannons--communication and discussuin is just lovely!

-I rp in threads, but i loke to keep OOC to PMs for organizational and energy purposes.

-I have other hobbies i like to indulge in like drawing and playing videogames. I also just love talking about OCs and ships too, outside of RP.

-I live along the equator, and obey the EST timezone.


What i expect from you:

I want someone who is friendly and enthusiastic, first and foremost. If i cant like talk to you and be comfortable then i cant really continue with the rp. I love the energy in things! Im looking for a partner who can provide me entertainment or ideas(mostly adding to the story itself as this rp is supposed to be fun. I want someone who will care about my rp and will try and help me so that it can be the best it can be, with development, or headcannons, or info. Im so open to suggestions you have no idea and i will actually love discussing things with you. I also love humor and jokes, whether you can include sarcasm of just some classic gags would be awesome, or just laughing as we rp in general!! I love it when i can sit down and laugh and have fun while creating.

If we could keep talking frequently, as to show your interest still then that would be great. I dont want to be ghosted! So just a check in would be nice yknow :3

I appreciate effort put into every post! So if you write in 15 lines on PC then ill try and match that energy! At the least it should be 7 lines. I dont enjoy one liners.

Everything stays within RPN TOS. This rp will take on gorey or dark themes. If that bothers you then this isnt for you.

Yep, this seems excellent! I think this is good to post this as is, but I maybe would recommend just one last thing: A small note at the end of the plot suggestion, saying you are open to potential suggestions for a plot. Seeing how there isn't a lot in terms of plot suggestions, a line like that could show you are open for other kinds of stories for those interested in the setting, while not placing the burden of necessarily coming up with one on the other player- since they can do the one you suggested yourself.

 

[Idea]

Im pretty proud of this so far!!

As you should, it was good work and a great improvement I would say

 

[HorizonsBoon]

As you should, it was good work and a great improvement I would say

Thank you!! I'll definitely add from the post above. I'm so happy jajsbdsghzhsh

 

[Idea]

Thank you!! I'll definitely add from the post above. I'm so happy jajsbdsghzhsh

Glad to hear it

One last thing I should mention of course: What I have been helping you with is to is presenting the appealing parts of what you want to roleplay and giving people the information. To use a metaphor, I helped you get on the stage - but getting on the stage, even if your dancing/acting is good, doesn't mean the audience will necessarily like it.

I hope I'm not sounding too harsh here, but there are a lot of people who go in with unrealistic expectations, so I just wanna try to set them straight: The improvements you have made are excellent in my opinion, but this does not guarantee you will have takers. When you post this keep that in mind, and do be patient. Understand that even if you do appeal to someone, that person may take some time to show up, or that sometimes the timing just isn't great or any other number of reasons.

I say this so hopefully you won't be disappointed nomatter what. A bit frustrated would of course be understandable after putting this additional effort in. But hopefully at least not disappointed- and hey if the expectations are levelled going in, it will be all the sweeter if and when you actually do succeed

Best of luck and happy roleplaying!