Coyote Hart
Misguideful Moniker
It wasn’t the most comfortable place in the world to be stuck at school early, in a shady back alley, half-drunk with sleep. However, it was most effective for my line of work. My schoolmates could come in during the beginning of school to buy a small bag of weed or a needle of morphine. Yes, I was a drug dealer. It wasn’t an admirable job, but I had to do it for college.
Today though, the sounds of footsteps disrupted my peace. With my eyes still closed, I called out, “What do you need.”
“Your entire stock,” the voice that replied belonged to the last person that I wanted to see at that moment.
“Not possible,” I replied as I opened my eyes and sat up from my position on top of the dumpster and met Leona’s glare.
“Really?” she said, lifting a sledgehammer to her shoulders, “I think that it is possible. Need some encouragement?”
She clicked her fingers, and from the sides of the building, two tall, brutish men appeared, cracking their knuckles and towering over me in a threatening manner. But I was hardly phased.
“What? Hired muscle? You’re going to beat me up if I don’t comply?” I asked. I hopped down from the dumpster and slung my school bag over my shoulder.
“We could do that,” Leona smirked, “Or you could just hand over your goods. I intend to make my empire of drugs, and your morals won’t be getting in the way of my profits.”
“Like I said, not possible,” I replied, “It wouldn’t be fair to my customers if you took over.”
“Fair to your customers,” Leona snorted, “I don’t see how you make any money with that attitude. Fine. We’ll do it the hard way.”
The two hired thugs began to walk towards me. At the same time, I began to walk backward deeper into the alleyway, my teeth gritted. I knew that there was no way that I could beat two men that were more than a foot taller than me. Fortunately, I didn’t have to. The first hired thug slumped to the floor, then the second one fell as well, leaving only Leona, shock visible in her face, standing.
“Wh-what the hell?” Leona fumed. She turned around and shouted, “Tom, why the fuck are you here?”
“Hiya!” Tom said. He pushed past Leona, holding what seemed to be a nerf rifle with a PVC pipe attached.
“Keep out of my business,” Leona said, “This is between me and Fitzgerald.”
“No can do,” Tom smiled, pointing the nerf gun at Leona, “It’s rude for a man to attack a girl, but I won’t hesitate if you don’t get outta here.”
Leona gritted her teeth and pointed at me, “Today after school. You’re dead.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said after Leona disappeared, “Also, get that gun out of here. You’ll be arrested.”
“I’ve been carrying this thing in my schoolbag the entire year,” Tom said, “And nobody’s ever figured out. I’ve actually come to ask for something.”
“Drugs?” I asked, hopping back to my position on the dumpster.
“Well yeah,” Tom said, nervously smoothing back his carefully gelled blonde hair, “I’ve been feeling kinda off since my last visit here. I think I need more.”
“You’re addicted, aren’t you?” I said.
“No,” Tom objected, looking away from me.
I fished through my bag and took out a half pouch of morphine and a business card, tossing them both to Tom, “I’m giving those free of charge. Go call the number on that card and get some help.”
Actions such as those were exactly why I couldn’t let Leona control the drug market. While I gave my clients a means to get out, Leona would undoubtedly capitalize on their suffering, dragging them deeper and deeper into addiction, just to milk some money from them.
“But I’m not addicted,” Tom protested.
“Yes, you are,” I corrected him.
“Bu--”
“Fiiiiiiitttz!!” an excited voice shouted down the alleyway, interrupting Tom. A moment later, my childhood best friend and doujinshi lover, Lydia, ran down to my hideout, her bubblegum pink hair swinging in the air.
“Good morning,” I said, smiling to Lydia.
“I just saw Leona walk past,” Lydia said, “Is something happening?”
“No, it’s all fine,” I said.
“You’re not tricking me,” Lydia saw through my white lie, “I’m helping you with getting the supplies. You have to let me in on this.”
I sighed. She was right. With her connections, Lydia was the one who provided me the morphine that I sold. So I spent the next few minutes recounting the encounter between me and Leona.
“So that was what that was all about,” Tom said. I didn’t realize that he hadn’t left his place at the entrance of the alleyway.
“Sounds fun,” Lydia said, “I’ll give you a hand.”
“No,” I immediately replied, “It’s not fun at all. You could get seriously hurt.”
“So what?” Lydia protested, crossing her arms, “Are you going in just by yourself and getting yourself killed? Leona is going to hire more of these thugs, you know.”
“Yeah, I’m helping out too, and you can’t stop me!” Tom chipped in, “I just got this gun a few days ago, I’m looking forward to using it!”
“You’re both insane,” I said, shaking my head, “You especially, Tom. What the fuck.”
“I’m also doing this for my drugs,” Tom said, “I want you to be the one supplying it, Fitz. Not someone like Leona.”
“Aww, sounds like chemistry,” Lydia said, “The drug-dealing semi and his complacent druggie uke.”
“I’m not into that type of thing,” Tom shook his head. He turned to face me, “So, what’s the plan?”
“How should I know?” I asked. I had never wanted to drag my friends into my hobby.
“We can talk about it during lunch,” Lydia said, beginning to walk back towards the school, “School’ll be starting in a few minutes."
“Sure,” I said. If not for the fact that I had a fight on my hands after school, I would have seen this as a normal day at school.
------------------
My class before lunch was study hall, and while I usually took this time to make myself a sale or two, I had other plans today.
Brisbane looked up at me when I walked over to his seat next to the window and grinned cheekily, “Hey, Fitzgerald, you need help with your homework again?”
Like usual, Brisbane was busy doing tricks with his yo-yo, which he was never seen without. His feminine features were relaxed, as if the tricks took none of his attention, even though they were so complicated I almost couldn’t keep up.
“No, actually today I wanted to talk about your sister, Leona,” I said. I wanted to get to know how Leona operated and whether or not we could settle things peacefully.
“Oh,” Brisbane caught his yo-yo in hands, “Leona told me about what happened this morning. Sorry, I can’t tell you anything.”
“I just want to see if we can talk things out,” I said, “My friends want to help me fight, but I don’t want them to get hurt for me.”
“I feel that,” Brisbane said, “But I think Leona has made up her mind about beating you up.”
“There’s no way you can talk her out of it?” I asked in one last desperate attempt to make peace.
“Can’t, I’m sorry,” Brisbane picked up what looked to be a hotdog that was next to him and bit a large bite from it, “In fact, I’ve decided that I’m going to have to fight you. No hard feelings.”
“Oh, this hotdog is really good,” Brisbane commented, extending it to me, “Want a bite?”
The smell of roast beef and caramelized onions wafered over to me. I did want to take a bite, but I decided not to let myself get sidetracked. “Don’t change the subject, Brisbane. What do you mean you’ve decided that you’re going to fight me? How do you expect to win?”
Brisbane, who was as thin as a twig, chuckled, “I mean, we’re not in different situations. I bet if you were to take off those shiny purple shoes, you’d be just as tall as I am. Plus, I can do this!”
Brisbane stood up, and with one flick of the wrist, his yo-yo went spiraling around me, and before I could say anything, I found myself thoroughly restrained by the string. I couldn’t move my arms nor legs.
“Can I convince you to try this now?” Brisbane asked, offering the hotdog to me again with a mischievous grin.
I grumbled, feeling my face turn red, but I leaned in and took a bite of the hotdog. Surprisingly, the taste of a Philly cheesesteak greeted me, “Wow, that’s good.”
“I know, right?” Brisbane said, “Look, if not for my loyalty to my sister, I wouldn’t want to fight you. So how’s this. No matter what the result is, let me treat you to some of this Philly hotdog.”
“Sure, I guess,” I said as Brisbane unrestrained me. I heard a squeak, and when I turned around, I saw Lydia with her phone out, blushing, with Tom looking apologetic in the background.
“Hey!” my face felt as if it were on fire as I reached over the table and grabbed a textbook. I lifted it over my head and chucked it at Lydia, who took it full in the face.
Brisbane giggled and commented, “I am so not looking forward to fighting you. See you around.”
“What were you and Brisbane talking about?” Lydia said as I walked over to her.
“I wanted to see if he could try and help us out,” I said, “But it seems as if he’s already decided to fight us.”
“Well that’s a shame,” Tom said, “He’s good with his yo-yo.”
“Speaking of weapons, I have something for you,” Lydia said, rummaging through her bag and taking out what seemed to be a flashlight-baton hybrid.
“What in the world?” I asked, “Where did you get that?”
“I can’t say,” Lydia said. She clicked a button, and a spark of light emanated from the flashlight, “I think that'll put you on equal footing with your lover.”
“He is not my lover!” I shouted, a bit louder than necessary.
-----------------
“Fitzgerald, I’ve come for your head!” Leona’s booming voice echoed down the alleyway. From the distance, I saw Leona flanked by several buff-looking men and with her sledgehammer slung over her shoulder. Brisbane, who looked out of place among the strong-looking fighters, waved awkwardly to me.
“I’m ready for you,” I said calmly to Leona. I turned to offer Lydia some Adderall, but she just shook her head.
“No, you are not!” Leona said, charging in with her men following close behind.
“I’ll take care of this,” Lydia shouted, running to meet Leona. She tossed what looked to be one of her yaoi books at Leona’s face, then charged in, swinging wildly with her police baton.
When the two girls met, they danced in a frenzy of badly-aimed blows and dodges. It was mesmerizing, but the sound of Tom firing his nerf gun from the top of the school brought me back to my senses, and I moved in to help out Lydia. However, a string wound itself around my arm, pulling me back.
“Sorry, I can’t let you interrupt them,” Brisbane said, and with a snap of his wrist, the yo-yo released its grip on my arm.
“You didn’t chicken out,” I noticed as I readied my taser baton.
“I know, right?” Brisbane grinned. I charged forward to strike at him with my baton, but he simply dodged out of the way and sent a yo-yo flying toward my head.
When I ducked and let the yo-yo fly by me, I noticed that there was a dangerous whirring noise emanating from it. With horror, I realized that this wasn’t a normal yo-yo that Brisbane was attacking me with.
Then I felt a sharp pain in my behind when Brisbane recalled the yo-yo and hit me in the process.
“Sorry, did that sting?” Brisbane grinned sheepishly.
“Not as much as this will!” I shouted. I ran up to Brisbane, the baton in my hand sparking with electricity.
But with a yo-yo in his left hand, Brisbane knocked my baton to the side as I was charging in. And with a yo-yo in his right hand, he sent it flying at an angle toward me.
I knew he would try the same attack as he did during study hall, so I sidestepped the flying projectile. As Brisbane was busy reeling in his yo-yo, I charged up to him and swung as hard as I could at him.
The hit didn’t connect though. Brisbane had ducked out of the way of my attack, a slightly reckless grin on his face.
“You need to be careful of that toy of your’s,” Brisbane said, “Someone could get hurt.”
“Says the person beating me up with a yo-yo,” I said, slightly breathless. Brisbane shot at me with another yo-yo, but this time I caught the yo-yo in my free hand, and with one strong tug, brought Brisbane right in front of me.
Brisbane lifted a leg and kicked at me, although with his wimpy stature it didn’t hurt at all. Then I retaliated, lifting my baton, and with a flash of electricity, struck back at Brisbane. Immediately, Brisbane flopped onto the ground like a drowning fish.
“Ow, that stung,” Brisbane mumbled, looking up at me with a weak grin, “Looks like my yo-yos weren’t any match for you.”
“It was impressive though,” I complimented him, “You’ll have to teach me how to yo-yo at some point.”
“Yeah, I will,” Brisbane said. He flipped over onto his back and said, “I’m just going to lie here for a bit.”
With Brisbane taken care of, I headed over to where Lydia and Leona were fighting. When Leona bounced back to avoid being slashed by Lydia’s attack with the baton, I struck out with my baton.
Miraculously, Leona also avoided that, and glared at Brisbane, “What is this? Get up, you lazy slob, and get rid of Fitzgerald!”
“No can do,” Brisbane said, “That electric shock hurt.”
“Alright then,” Leona smirked, “I’ll have my men take you all down.”
She snapped her fingers, but when nothing happened, the smirk melted off of her face. Leona looked around, only to realize that all her men were unconscious on the ground.
“Tom!!” Leona roared.
“Yes?” Tom peered over from the top of the roof.
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck you too,” Tom replied calmly, raising his nerf gun. With one well-aimed shot, Leona was on the ground, unconscious along with her men.
“Well, this is one big mess,” Lydia said in between heaving breaths. Her reckless style of fighting seemed to drain her of all energy.
“Yeah, it’s best if we leave this place,” Brisbane groaned, slowly pushing himself upright, “How about we go have some Philly hotdogs?”
Today though, the sounds of footsteps disrupted my peace. With my eyes still closed, I called out, “What do you need.”
“Your entire stock,” the voice that replied belonged to the last person that I wanted to see at that moment.
“Not possible,” I replied as I opened my eyes and sat up from my position on top of the dumpster and met Leona’s glare.
“Really?” she said, lifting a sledgehammer to her shoulders, “I think that it is possible. Need some encouragement?”
She clicked her fingers, and from the sides of the building, two tall, brutish men appeared, cracking their knuckles and towering over me in a threatening manner. But I was hardly phased.
“What? Hired muscle? You’re going to beat me up if I don’t comply?” I asked. I hopped down from the dumpster and slung my school bag over my shoulder.
“We could do that,” Leona smirked, “Or you could just hand over your goods. I intend to make my empire of drugs, and your morals won’t be getting in the way of my profits.”
“Like I said, not possible,” I replied, “It wouldn’t be fair to my customers if you took over.”
“Fair to your customers,” Leona snorted, “I don’t see how you make any money with that attitude. Fine. We’ll do it the hard way.”
The two hired thugs began to walk towards me. At the same time, I began to walk backward deeper into the alleyway, my teeth gritted. I knew that there was no way that I could beat two men that were more than a foot taller than me. Fortunately, I didn’t have to. The first hired thug slumped to the floor, then the second one fell as well, leaving only Leona, shock visible in her face, standing.
“Wh-what the hell?” Leona fumed. She turned around and shouted, “Tom, why the fuck are you here?”
“Hiya!” Tom said. He pushed past Leona, holding what seemed to be a nerf rifle with a PVC pipe attached.
“Keep out of my business,” Leona said, “This is between me and Fitzgerald.”
“No can do,” Tom smiled, pointing the nerf gun at Leona, “It’s rude for a man to attack a girl, but I won’t hesitate if you don’t get outta here.”
Leona gritted her teeth and pointed at me, “Today after school. You’re dead.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said after Leona disappeared, “Also, get that gun out of here. You’ll be arrested.”
“I’ve been carrying this thing in my schoolbag the entire year,” Tom said, “And nobody’s ever figured out. I’ve actually come to ask for something.”
“Drugs?” I asked, hopping back to my position on the dumpster.
“Well yeah,” Tom said, nervously smoothing back his carefully gelled blonde hair, “I’ve been feeling kinda off since my last visit here. I think I need more.”
“You’re addicted, aren’t you?” I said.
“No,” Tom objected, looking away from me.
I fished through my bag and took out a half pouch of morphine and a business card, tossing them both to Tom, “I’m giving those free of charge. Go call the number on that card and get some help.”
Actions such as those were exactly why I couldn’t let Leona control the drug market. While I gave my clients a means to get out, Leona would undoubtedly capitalize on their suffering, dragging them deeper and deeper into addiction, just to milk some money from them.
“But I’m not addicted,” Tom protested.
“Yes, you are,” I corrected him.
“Bu--”
“Fiiiiiiitttz!!” an excited voice shouted down the alleyway, interrupting Tom. A moment later, my childhood best friend and doujinshi lover, Lydia, ran down to my hideout, her bubblegum pink hair swinging in the air.
“Good morning,” I said, smiling to Lydia.
“I just saw Leona walk past,” Lydia said, “Is something happening?”
“No, it’s all fine,” I said.
“You’re not tricking me,” Lydia saw through my white lie, “I’m helping you with getting the supplies. You have to let me in on this.”
I sighed. She was right. With her connections, Lydia was the one who provided me the morphine that I sold. So I spent the next few minutes recounting the encounter between me and Leona.
“So that was what that was all about,” Tom said. I didn’t realize that he hadn’t left his place at the entrance of the alleyway.
“Sounds fun,” Lydia said, “I’ll give you a hand.”
“No,” I immediately replied, “It’s not fun at all. You could get seriously hurt.”
“So what?” Lydia protested, crossing her arms, “Are you going in just by yourself and getting yourself killed? Leona is going to hire more of these thugs, you know.”
“Yeah, I’m helping out too, and you can’t stop me!” Tom chipped in, “I just got this gun a few days ago, I’m looking forward to using it!”
“You’re both insane,” I said, shaking my head, “You especially, Tom. What the fuck.”
“I’m also doing this for my drugs,” Tom said, “I want you to be the one supplying it, Fitz. Not someone like Leona.”
“Aww, sounds like chemistry,” Lydia said, “The drug-dealing semi and his complacent druggie uke.”
“I’m not into that type of thing,” Tom shook his head. He turned to face me, “So, what’s the plan?”
“How should I know?” I asked. I had never wanted to drag my friends into my hobby.
“We can talk about it during lunch,” Lydia said, beginning to walk back towards the school, “School’ll be starting in a few minutes."
“Sure,” I said. If not for the fact that I had a fight on my hands after school, I would have seen this as a normal day at school.
------------------
My class before lunch was study hall, and while I usually took this time to make myself a sale or two, I had other plans today.
Brisbane looked up at me when I walked over to his seat next to the window and grinned cheekily, “Hey, Fitzgerald, you need help with your homework again?”
Like usual, Brisbane was busy doing tricks with his yo-yo, which he was never seen without. His feminine features were relaxed, as if the tricks took none of his attention, even though they were so complicated I almost couldn’t keep up.
“No, actually today I wanted to talk about your sister, Leona,” I said. I wanted to get to know how Leona operated and whether or not we could settle things peacefully.
“Oh,” Brisbane caught his yo-yo in hands, “Leona told me about what happened this morning. Sorry, I can’t tell you anything.”
“I just want to see if we can talk things out,” I said, “My friends want to help me fight, but I don’t want them to get hurt for me.”
“I feel that,” Brisbane said, “But I think Leona has made up her mind about beating you up.”
“There’s no way you can talk her out of it?” I asked in one last desperate attempt to make peace.
“Can’t, I’m sorry,” Brisbane picked up what looked to be a hotdog that was next to him and bit a large bite from it, “In fact, I’ve decided that I’m going to have to fight you. No hard feelings.”
“Oh, this hotdog is really good,” Brisbane commented, extending it to me, “Want a bite?”
The smell of roast beef and caramelized onions wafered over to me. I did want to take a bite, but I decided not to let myself get sidetracked. “Don’t change the subject, Brisbane. What do you mean you’ve decided that you’re going to fight me? How do you expect to win?”
Brisbane, who was as thin as a twig, chuckled, “I mean, we’re not in different situations. I bet if you were to take off those shiny purple shoes, you’d be just as tall as I am. Plus, I can do this!”
Brisbane stood up, and with one flick of the wrist, his yo-yo went spiraling around me, and before I could say anything, I found myself thoroughly restrained by the string. I couldn’t move my arms nor legs.
“Can I convince you to try this now?” Brisbane asked, offering the hotdog to me again with a mischievous grin.
I grumbled, feeling my face turn red, but I leaned in and took a bite of the hotdog. Surprisingly, the taste of a Philly cheesesteak greeted me, “Wow, that’s good.”
“I know, right?” Brisbane said, “Look, if not for my loyalty to my sister, I wouldn’t want to fight you. So how’s this. No matter what the result is, let me treat you to some of this Philly hotdog.”
“Sure, I guess,” I said as Brisbane unrestrained me. I heard a squeak, and when I turned around, I saw Lydia with her phone out, blushing, with Tom looking apologetic in the background.
“Hey!” my face felt as if it were on fire as I reached over the table and grabbed a textbook. I lifted it over my head and chucked it at Lydia, who took it full in the face.
Brisbane giggled and commented, “I am so not looking forward to fighting you. See you around.”
“What were you and Brisbane talking about?” Lydia said as I walked over to her.
“I wanted to see if he could try and help us out,” I said, “But it seems as if he’s already decided to fight us.”
“Well that’s a shame,” Tom said, “He’s good with his yo-yo.”
“Speaking of weapons, I have something for you,” Lydia said, rummaging through her bag and taking out what seemed to be a flashlight-baton hybrid.
“What in the world?” I asked, “Where did you get that?”
“I can’t say,” Lydia said. She clicked a button, and a spark of light emanated from the flashlight, “I think that'll put you on equal footing with your lover.”
“He is not my lover!” I shouted, a bit louder than necessary.
-----------------
“Fitzgerald, I’ve come for your head!” Leona’s booming voice echoed down the alleyway. From the distance, I saw Leona flanked by several buff-looking men and with her sledgehammer slung over her shoulder. Brisbane, who looked out of place among the strong-looking fighters, waved awkwardly to me.
“I’m ready for you,” I said calmly to Leona. I turned to offer Lydia some Adderall, but she just shook her head.
“No, you are not!” Leona said, charging in with her men following close behind.
“I’ll take care of this,” Lydia shouted, running to meet Leona. She tossed what looked to be one of her yaoi books at Leona’s face, then charged in, swinging wildly with her police baton.
When the two girls met, they danced in a frenzy of badly-aimed blows and dodges. It was mesmerizing, but the sound of Tom firing his nerf gun from the top of the school brought me back to my senses, and I moved in to help out Lydia. However, a string wound itself around my arm, pulling me back.
“Sorry, I can’t let you interrupt them,” Brisbane said, and with a snap of his wrist, the yo-yo released its grip on my arm.
“You didn’t chicken out,” I noticed as I readied my taser baton.
“I know, right?” Brisbane grinned. I charged forward to strike at him with my baton, but he simply dodged out of the way and sent a yo-yo flying toward my head.
When I ducked and let the yo-yo fly by me, I noticed that there was a dangerous whirring noise emanating from it. With horror, I realized that this wasn’t a normal yo-yo that Brisbane was attacking me with.
Then I felt a sharp pain in my behind when Brisbane recalled the yo-yo and hit me in the process.
“Sorry, did that sting?” Brisbane grinned sheepishly.
“Not as much as this will!” I shouted. I ran up to Brisbane, the baton in my hand sparking with electricity.
But with a yo-yo in his left hand, Brisbane knocked my baton to the side as I was charging in. And with a yo-yo in his right hand, he sent it flying at an angle toward me.
I knew he would try the same attack as he did during study hall, so I sidestepped the flying projectile. As Brisbane was busy reeling in his yo-yo, I charged up to him and swung as hard as I could at him.
The hit didn’t connect though. Brisbane had ducked out of the way of my attack, a slightly reckless grin on his face.
“You need to be careful of that toy of your’s,” Brisbane said, “Someone could get hurt.”
“Says the person beating me up with a yo-yo,” I said, slightly breathless. Brisbane shot at me with another yo-yo, but this time I caught the yo-yo in my free hand, and with one strong tug, brought Brisbane right in front of me.
Brisbane lifted a leg and kicked at me, although with his wimpy stature it didn’t hurt at all. Then I retaliated, lifting my baton, and with a flash of electricity, struck back at Brisbane. Immediately, Brisbane flopped onto the ground like a drowning fish.
“Ow, that stung,” Brisbane mumbled, looking up at me with a weak grin, “Looks like my yo-yos weren’t any match for you.”
“It was impressive though,” I complimented him, “You’ll have to teach me how to yo-yo at some point.”
“Yeah, I will,” Brisbane said. He flipped over onto his back and said, “I’m just going to lie here for a bit.”
With Brisbane taken care of, I headed over to where Lydia and Leona were fighting. When Leona bounced back to avoid being slashed by Lydia’s attack with the baton, I struck out with my baton.
Miraculously, Leona also avoided that, and glared at Brisbane, “What is this? Get up, you lazy slob, and get rid of Fitzgerald!”
“No can do,” Brisbane said, “That electric shock hurt.”
“Alright then,” Leona smirked, “I’ll have my men take you all down.”
She snapped her fingers, but when nothing happened, the smirk melted off of her face. Leona looked around, only to realize that all her men were unconscious on the ground.
“Tom!!” Leona roared.
“Yes?” Tom peered over from the top of the roof.
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck you too,” Tom replied calmly, raising his nerf gun. With one well-aimed shot, Leona was on the ground, unconscious along with her men.
“Well, this is one big mess,” Lydia said in between heaving breaths. Her reckless style of fighting seemed to drain her of all energy.
“Yeah, it’s best if we leave this place,” Brisbane groaned, slowly pushing himself upright, “How about we go have some Philly hotdogs?”
