Advice/Help Managing, work, life, and RP?

[Daisie]

Just a reminder, guys! This is a thread asking for advice, not major debate. Keep our environment positive.

I'll admit to not being the demographic stated for this thread, but I do have issues making time for RP. It's one of those things where I know I'll love it when I do it, but getting the motivation to actually get to doing it is difficult sometimes. Therefore, I've actually scheduled a small amount of RP time throughout my day. Then once that RP time is up, I don't have to stress about making a post, and I have time where I can relax and do whatever I like. I've just barely started this routine, so there may be unforeseen roadblocks ahead, but so far, it's helped me actually stay on track.

Unexpectedly, it's also helped my motivation. Sometimes the prospect of having to write out an entire RP post on my off-time is daunting, but if I take my time and split it up into increments, it makes things easier, less stressful, and over-all funner for me. Plus there's also no worry of "Oh, I'm on my break time! I should be making that RP post!" which gets to me now and again.

Of course, this may not work for everyone, it's just what I personally do.

Stay positive!

 

[Lioness075]

Some positive motivation via Strange Planets:

 

[Jannah]

It's fairly easy for me. I'm mentally ill, thus unemployed. Because I'm unemployed I still live at home so the only major responsibilities I have really are chores around the house. Those rarely take more than a couple hours of my time so that leaves most of the rest of my day for leisure. That does not always include RP, however, as I have to be in a very specific mindset to write. Because of mental illness the amount I'm able to write fluctuates; sometimes I can manage multiple novella posts a day while at other times I struggle to even throw a paragraph together(which of course doesn't suffice for my style of RP).

 

[rae2nerdy]

In my case my hours fluctuate a lot, especially since a coworker recently quit. I also have real life errands, other hobbies, and my mom has a lot of chronic mental and physical health issues.

So I start out setting people up with the expectation that I’ll post once a week and if I happen to manage more I count it as a lucky bonus.

I also find that while I don’t necessarily stick to my age group (I have had school age partners with similarly busy schedules) I have found that just setting out with realistic expectations and communicating as much as possible helps.

I let my partners know if I’m stuck writing a post or if one of my IRL obligations popped up unexpectedly. And I find People to be very understanding and sympathetic

 

[Malozing]

Always have an open line of communication with your RP partners. Let them know when things are rough/busy for you in real life. You don't have to go into every detail, but let them know that something is happening and when you expect to be able to post again.

I agree with rae2nerdy with set up reasonable expectations. I think a guarantee of a post a week is a good starting point.

 

[zippy]

Well I’m not 20+ but I do have a fairly busy schedule when I’m in class. My days vary but generally are as follows:

8:30am-12pm Class
1:30pm-3pm Practice
3pm-4pm Lift
5:45-9pm Class
10pm-2am Work

Some days I won’t have the class at 5:45. Some days I won’t have work. But generally I don’t have a large amount of free time especially when you factor in 30 minute commute time to and from class. So how do I rp on a consistent bases? Well, truth be told, I haven’t really been able to do that. However, I have a plan.

See I’ve been prone to neurotically plan out every second of my day, and I figure it’s time for me to add RP to the schedule. I mean I have blocks in my calendar for waking up, eating snacks, showering, studying, stretching, pretty much everything that I do everyday. So I’m thinking I’ll carve out 3-4 1.5 hour blocks for RP/Reading in my calendar so that I don’t need to spontaneously find time everyday.

Also what others said about finding RPs with people who have similar schedules to you is crucial. There is just no way I could do a role play with multiple replies a day, especially in a group RP.

Another good tip I think is to take special care to weed out the hype based RPs. I mean this is a tool for everyone but especially us with very limited time. You don’t want to join an RP that’s immediately going to die. I mean I know that if I want to join an RP it’ll take me probably two of my RP blocks to finish my character, and if the RP dies then I’ve essentially wasted a week as opposed to someone Who has a lot of free time. That person may only lose a day or so of their time. Just be mindful to join RPs that you are truly interested in.

 

[LocoMetal]

Time management as an adult becomes stressful, and stress leads to lackadaisical tendencies. We become overwhelmed and the natural response to that is to avoid it. "it" meaning all or something specific you don't want to take part in at the time. As we get older we develop new ways to manage time and to avoid certain things like going out or even going to work/school some times. Here's a new perspective of reducing those lackadaisical tendencies and recovering some time for yourself and your desires.

So, here you are. A wonderful person, a beautiful mind and brilliant soul, only your're feeling empty. Devoid of energy and so you lay in bed looking at your phone until it's time to work/go to class/sleep. At the beginning of each day before you start your routine try this: Get up half hour early and allow some time to take in your life. Everything you've been through and everything you haven't. Say "thank you" out loud to yourself. Your immediate response is "thank you for what?". Well,consider this; even though you might think it's bad right now, your life could be worse a million times over. You're surrounded by friends and family who love you. So, say thank you for that. Ignore the negativeness. Ask friends for reassurance if need be.

Next, think about you people you love, and the people who love you. Have you put off calling your mom, dad, grandparent, sibling? Why? You've been feeling overwhelmed. Call them. Express that and be open. You'll get positive reinforcement back. So what is that exactly? Remember how I said you feel empty, well, here's where that comes in. At the start of each day we're full of energy. Emotional energy and emotional energy is quite powerful. It's motivating. But that well can run very shallow if you don't get enough sleep or you deny yourself a full well of energy for various reasons. So, let's go back to it: You're full of emotional energy and through the day you distribute it here, there, to him, to her, to them. By the end of the day you're empty all over again.

There's easy ways to still have some energy left over as the day comes to an end. Don't spend all of it is an easy one, but you're a caring person. You want to make sure your friends are well and family is safe. But what about the people who don't return that kindness? "It's ok." you tell yourself "As long as they're happy!" that's what matters. You're robbing yourself at that point. They won't reciprocate the same energy you give them and so you're essentially throwing energy away you could use elsewhere. Say, to call your grandmother who hasn't heard from you. yet when she does it makes her day! Or you could send a friend a text message with a simple "how are you?". You will get some of your spent energy back.

By now you get where I'm coming from so I'll end it there. Energy distribution. I speak from experience. I hope this helps somebody.

 

[CecilDMMasters]

The main thing is find a partner that understands. The only real RP I have going that is getting anywhere stopped pretty much for the Thanksgiving week because my partner has a family. Did bother her or make a pest. And when work completely kills me I don't get bothered if I come home and crash instead of going online. Neither expects the other to put our characters over sleep and family.


So like many RP issues the answer is to find the right partner.

 

[Stray Cat]

I look back on the days when I was in middle and high school where I had more time for writing. Even in my days of college, as much as I'm passionate about roleplay I have obligations that I must oversee outside of the internet. I am a senior at University, therefore my studies will always be my first priority. Two, I have extracurricular activities that I do outside of class. Three, I still live at home so I have to help my mother with things and lastly, I was recently diagnosed with some things concerning my health which need tending to. I have been lucky where 90 % percent of my partners understand this as I make it known in both my rules and when communication is established between us. Unfortunately, there is the 10 % who demand to have your undivided attention and request unrealistic standards as far as to post rates. I have had people leave me angry messages asking me if we were still roleplaying or demanding replies which are completely unacceptable. I don't mind a light nudge (i.e. hey, how's it going? long time no see, etc) but when people start attacking me with demands and clocking me that's when I became anxious and somewhat irritated. Before, I remember I used to be so scared to lose partners and would drop what I was doing to apologise and write a response. Now? I lay down the law. If you cannot understand that I cannot coddle you and respond every waking second, then perhaps we are not suitable partners?​

 

[monxmiracle]

It's fairly easy for me. I'm mentally ill, thus unemployed. Because I'm unemployed I still live at home so the only major responsibilities I have really are chores around the house. Those rarely take more than a couple hours of my time so that leaves most of the rest of my day for leisure. That does not always include RP, however, as I have to be in a very specific mindset to write. Because of mental illness the amount I'm able to write fluctuates; sometimes I can manage multiple novella posts a day while at other times I struggle to even throw a paragraph together(which of course doesn't suffice for my style of RP).

I do get that often myself. As my mental health is often quite hectic. And I experience bouts where I can't write due to complete lack of interest, or motivation. Which is rather annoying, in itself. As when I often have lack of motivation, it is when other people are free to write.

 

[Idea]

Well, I don't really have a job yet (not by lack of trying...), only a college student. So not sure if that counts...

In case it does though, my general approach is twofold:
1. I try to be responsible and realistic regarding what I can or can't take on. Any excess on one side means having to sacrifice on others, and the timing when I start things should be appropriate (AKA not start something if you know you're going to be busy immediately after). I...slip on this one more often than I'd like though. It's a bad habit I'm trying to get under control.
2. I generally work with RPs that have a relatively slow pace. I'm talking a reply every couple weeks or even more apart. Not only does this give me a large amount of leeway without players getting upset (as long as this is an agreed-upon term of the roleplay), but it really pairs well with the kind of long and detailed posts that I like.

Even with this though, there are times when I just end up going dark. The main reason for this is that when I get busy, things tend to pile up, and when they do the pressure to properly reply to them leads me to have freezes (I know what I want to write, how to write it, but my body simply doesn't cooperate in terms of actually writing the things), which make me take way longer at doing everything than it normally would take. I'm not proud of it, but it is something I try to at least account for.

 

[Purr]

This question is directed towards those people in their 20s or older , that may already have families, jobs, marriaged and other obligations and still RP. And I just have to wonder, how do you find time to RP with all these other things? Perosnally, as a full time student, in college, and soon university. I find it to be rather difficult to RP as much as I’d like to. A lot of my time is kept up by other things. Which makes this; RPing a difficult hobby to keep. So I wonder how you guys do it. As I just struggle with keeping up with RPs consistently.

monxmiracle Heya Monxmiracle!

I think RPing can be a difficult hobby to maintain when one's mind and spirit are heavily-occupied by family, college, university, career, etc.. For me, I like to remember that this is a game, not a job or career. It's difficult to try and enjoy any hobby when your brain feels all drained before you even get to doing it. Being a student (especially one putting in their best effort for the best future) tends to take a tremendous amount of effort. However, I don't think college is forever (unless you work there) and hopefully there will come a time when you have more "brain" to have fun with once your studies are complete.

I don't mean to say to give up RPing; just take account of how much effort vs. fun you're having. You know? =)

I take harmony and balance into account. I have reached a point in my life where my career is one that doesn't take up so much of my brain that I can't have fun. A buddy of mine and I were talking philosophy one day and he brought up a good point - "Are you living to work or are you working to live?"

I seek harmony in my life and that means balancing out my career with my home life. I've seen too many people take a career path that, while financially lucrative, just ages them. Seriously! Remember Lord of the Rings, Riders of Rohan? Remember when the Fellowship first meets Theoden King sitting on his throne (and Grima Wormtongue)? Remember what King Theoden looked like? Man, something in my head sees that scene and thinks, "Don't wind up like that guy!" Too much work or work in the wrong career can do it to people. I've seen it and it's not right.

For me, roleplaying is a delightful hobby! It's a gateway to creativity and sharing and wonder that has a gentle hold on me that none of my other hobbies ever had. In order to keep it as a hobby, balance and harmony in my work, home, and personal spirit are required. At least for someone like me. May you harvest such harmony in your life to follow whatever brings you peace (and fun! Don't forget about the fun!). =)

Honor and fun,
Dann =)