Other Making Friends?

[Pandaskel]

Do you make friends when you RP?

Someone asked me to advertise an RP, and I asked how to do that, and they said inviting friends was really important. I wouldn’t say that I have any and I said as much and the person seemed surprised.

Are you supposed to make friends? What constitutes a “friend” on here? I don’t really make friends, and I don’t really want to. I just like writing.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Absolutely. Making friends is a key part in communication which is vital to the success of a roleplay.

So for the shyer people on here this usually just means talking to your partner about when you can be available to roleplay, what are issues that make you quit a roleplay, how long you want replies to be, etc.

For the more outgoing people this can be asking about one another's day, sharing details about interests and hobbies, and just in general getting to know one another. This tends to last after the individual roleplays falls through ( a common occurance ). It also makes this site fun to be on as you aren't just waiting around for people to post in a roleplay your actually interacting with people almost daily.


For interest checks specifically are you starting a group or a 1x1?

 

[Onmyoji]

I will probably say a horrible thing, but you're not supposed to do anything. You don't need to have friends to start an rp. And you don't need to befriend your rp partners.

Talking about availability for rp and communicating about your preferences, characters, story etc is an essential part of roleplaying, but doesn't always lead to becoming "friends". You kinda have to discuss the rp with your partner, otherwise how are you going to agree on characters and plot of your rp.

But you don't need to ask about their hobbies or how their day was, or if they have pets. You don't need to know the person you're writing together with, you can just write and have fun writing regardless of that. You can keep the communications to a minimum and only discuss the rp itself, and it would still be a great rp.

For group rp - yes, I agree it may be easier to start up if you invite some people you know. But you don't have to. You can start it with total strangers that never talked to each other either and have a great rp anyway.

For some of my rps in the past I didn't even know the gender of the person I rp with. I didn't know their name or their location, or how many cats they have or what games they play. Nor have I called those rp partners 'friends'. They were great rp partners though. We only talked about the characters and plot and only interacted when we needed to agree on something to progress the story. And still those were wonderful rp experiences, and some of those were among my best rp.

If you don't feel like making friends with rp partners - then don't try going out of your way only because it's considered a norm.
If for some reason you happen to make friends while roleplaying - good for you and for them. If not - then nothing happened, proceed as normal. You can have fun together, write rp together and not be friends.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against making friends. I made some awesome friends through roleplaying, and I also had good roleplays without becoming friends with my partners. Human relationships are unpredictable. You may click as rp partners but not click as people, and this is fine too.

 

[Pandaskel]

Absolutely. Making friends is a key part in communication which is vital to the success of a roleplay.

So for the shyer people on here this usually just means talking to your partner about when you can be available to roleplay, what are issues that make you quit a roleplay, how long you want replies to be, etc.

For the more outgoing people this can be asking about one another's day, sharing details about interests and hobbies, and just in general getting to know one another. This tends to last after the individual roleplays falls through ( a common occurance ). It also makes this site fun to be on as you aren't just waiting around for people to post in a roleplay your actually interacting with people almost daily.


For interest checks specifically are you starting a group or a 1x1?

I do communicate the way you described. I just don’t make friends. And I don’t see why I need to be friends with everyone I talk to or interact with.

It’s a group, but I don’t need promotion help, thanks.

I will probably say a horrible thing, but you're not supposed to do anything. You don't need to have friends to start an rp. And you don't need to befriend your rp partners.

Talking about availability for rp and communicating about your preferences, characters, story etc is an essential part of roleplaying, but doesn't always lead to becoming "friends". You kinda have to discuss the rp with your partner, otherwise how are you going to agree on characters and plot of your rp.

But you don't need to ask about their hobbies or how their day was, or if they have pets. You don't need to know the person you're writing together with, you can just write and have fun writing regardless of that. You can keep the communications to a minimum and only discuss the rp itself, and it would still be a great rp.

For group rp - yes, I agree it may be easier to start up if you invite some people you know. But you don't have to. You can start it with total strangers that never talked to each other either and have a great rp anyway.

For some of my rps in the past I didn't even know the gender of the person I rp with. I didn't know their name or their location, or how many cats they have or what games they play. Nor have I called those rp partners 'friends'. They were great rp partners though. We only talked about the characters and plot and only interacted when we needed to agree on something to progress the story. And still those were wonderful rp experiences, and some of those were among my best rp.

If you don't feel like making friends with rp partners - then don't try going out of your way only because it's considered a norm.
If for some reason you happen to make friends while roleplaying - good for you and for them. If not - then nothing happened, proceed as normal. You can have fun together, write rp together and not be friends.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against making friends. I made some awesome friends through roleplaying, and I also had good roleplays without becoming friends with my partners. Human relationships are unpredictable. You may click as rp partners but not click as people, and this is fine too.

Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better about myself and whether or not I’m, like, abnormally disagreeable or antisocial.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Pandaskel - edited since I was helping a patron.

So yeah you misunderstood my point. What I described is what people consider "making friends" on this site. If you do one or both of those things than you are already making friends.

As to my question about whether this is a group or 1x1 I was trying to figure out why they recommended you needed friends for your roleplay.

If it is a group the likely reasoning was that it would be easier to pull from people you already have a rapport with from previous roleplays rather than relying on strangers finding your roleplay and joining up.

 

[Pandaskel]

Pandaskel - edited since I was helping a patron.

So yeah you misunderstood my point. What I described is what people consider "making friends" on this site. If you do one or both of those things than you are already making friends.

As to my question about whether this is a group or 1x1 I was trying to figure out why they recommended you needed friends for your roleplay.

If it is a group the likely reasoning was that it would be easier to pull from people you already have a rapport with from previous roleplays rather than relying on strangers finding your roleplay and joining up.

I asked specifically what a “friend” on this site is, and you could have answered that question and made the distinction rather than say something like “making friends is a vital part of communication”, which is broad and rather untrue. I apologize for misunderstanding, thanks for the contribution and the clear up.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I asked specifically what a “friend” on this site is, and you could have answered that question and made the distinction rather than say something like “making friends is a vital part of communication”, which is broad and rather untrue. I apologize for misunderstanding, thanks for the contribution and the clear up.

I am sorry if that was unclear but what I meant was that what I was describing was making friends.

EDIT
This site doesn't consider making friends the same way you would in a social situation. It's not like you hang out at someone's house and talk about video games. You can certainly but that is not what people mean when they say "making friends" on this site.

They just mean that you have an open line of communication between yourself and your partner/players.

 

[Onmyoji]

The thing is, different people can understand the concept of 'making friends' differently. There is no official term that works on this site.

What you describe as making friends I consider friendly social interactions with people. But being friendly doesn't always equal being friends with them.

 

[rae2nerdy]

The thing is, different people can understand the concept of 'making friends' differently. There is no official term that works on this site.

What you describe as making friends I consider friendly social interactions with people. But being friendly doesn't always equal being friends with them.

I am talking from the point of starting a role play. The OP was asking in reference to a bit of advice on getting a role play off the ground.

In that context people mean friendly not friends.

But ultimately it’s just a matter of nitpicking semantics.

If you don’t want to interact with others there isn’t a site wide rule forcing you to.

This isn’t high school or summer camp. If you only want to put in the bare minimum of interactions most people honestly don’t care.

As long as you give them clear communication on what you expect in terms of rules, post requirements, plot arcs, etc. than your good.

Especially if your only doing groups.

Now groups with more personal connections will tend to last longer as a general rule but that is by no means a requirement.

Especially if you are super organized. In groups your goal is to keep people motivated. That means being excited and organized so your players are eager to keep posting after the initial interest fades. Connections help because if you are excited to be around people than you’ll stick with a role play and priorities it higher.

But just plain having an exciting and well laid out story will do the same thing if your not into interacting with players.

 

[Pandaskel]

The thing is, different people can understand the concept of 'making friends' differently. There is no official term that works on this site.

What you describe as making friends I consider friendly social interactions with people. But being friendly doesn't always equal being friends with them.

Totally agree! That’s why one of the things I asked is what “friends” means on here. My definition of friends is pretty exclusive to long term personal connections, so of course I don’t make “friends” with people I’m just writing with, regardless of how much we communicate.
Some people really like meeting people online and that’s fine. I like talking and joking around, too. But personally, I’m just not currently looking to make small talk with strangers.

I am talking from the point of starting a role play. The OP was asking in reference to a bit of advice on getting a role play off the ground.

In that context people mean friendly not friends.

But ultimately it’s just a matter of nitpicking semantics.

If you don’t want to interact with others there isn’t a site wide rule forcing you to.

This isn’t high school or summer camp. If you only want to put in the bare minimum of interactions most people honestly don’t care.

As long as you give them clear communication on what you expect in terms of rules, post requirements, plot arcs, etc. than your good.

Especially if your only doing groups.

Now groups with more personal connections will tend to last longer as a general rule but that is by no means a requirement.

Especially if you are super organized. In groups your goal is to keep people motivated. That means being excited and organized so your players are eager to keep posting after the initial interest fades. Connections help because if you are excited to be around people than you’ll stick with a role play and priorities it higher.

But just plain having an exciting and well laid out story will do the same thing if your not into interacting with players.

You’re real invested in this topic, hey? If we’re talking in terms of advertising, I think I made it clear I don’t have people I would show an RP to because I think they’d like it, even if I can think if people who WOULD like it. I’ve written with plenty of people and been friendly with most of them. It’s just, I dunno, not my style? Just doesn’t feel cool to me. I’ll leave the social butterfly behavior to people who actually enjoy it and just stick to my “grumpy old man in the mountains” lifestyle.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Totally agree! That’s why one of the things I asked is what “friends” means on here. My definition of friends is pretty exclusive to long term personal connections, so of course I don’t make “friends” with people I’m just writing with, regardless of how much we communicate.
Some people really like meeting people online and that’s fine. I like talking and joking around, too. But personally, I’m just not currently looking to make small talk with strangers.

You’re real invested in this topic, hey? If we’re talking in terms of advertising, I think I made it clear I don’t have people I would show an RP to because I think they’d like it, even if I can think if people who WOULD like it. I’ve written with plenty of people and been friendly with most of them. It’s just, I dunno, not my style? Just doesn’t feel cool to me. I’ll leave the social butterfly behavior to people who actually enjoy it and just stick to my “grumpy old man in the mountains” lifestyle.

Hon. I wasn’t talking to you. I was expanding on Onmyoji’s point. Hence why I quoted them directly.

You said you don’t want help with advertising so that whole post wasn’t aimed at you.

If you do want advice on advertising and keeping a group running I’m happy to go more into that.

(Sorry I know this probably seems harsh but I just wanted to be clear so there is no misunderstanding)

 

[Pandaskel]

Hon. I wasn’t talking to you. I was expanding on Onmyoji’s point. Hence why I quoted them directly.

You said you don’t want help with advertising so that whole post wasn’t aimed at you.

If you do want advice on advertising and keeping a group running I’m happy to go more into that.

(Sorry I know this probably seems harsh but I just wanted to be clear so there is no misunderstanding)

“Hon, I wasn’t talking to you” Goddamn, dude, ok XD We got a Mean Girl in the house. I get it, I can’t sit with you!

 

[rae2nerdy]

“Hon, I wasn’t talking to you” Goddamn, dude, ok XD We got a Mean Girl in the house. I get it, I can’t sit with you!

Actually you have a Southerner for whom Hon is a mostly gender neutral term of endearment. Basically that was mild exasperation at best but if ya want to use high school designations for a middle aged geek your welcome to do so.

To be clear that should be read as mildly sarcastic humor.

 

[Pandaskel]

You think “hon” was the pretentious and exclusionary part of that piece of dialogue? Smashing.

 

[rae2nerdy]

You think “hon” was the pretentious and exclusionary part of that piece of dialogue? Smashing.

I don’t know if that is sarcasm or not. It’s kind of hard to tell with text.

In any case my main bit of advice for you in groups. Focus on your mechanics and dont worry about how you appear in terms of sociability. It’s honestly not that big of a deal.