Advice/Help Maintaining OOC Interaction in Group RPs

[Saurosian]

Hi, looking for some advice here!

I am a very RP-focused writer. I could literally go weeks without OOC interaction while posting daily in an RP. It's not that I don't like OOC interaction, I'm happy to have conversations, answer questions, give opinions, celebrate awesome RP events, etc. But I approach my RP interactions as, well, having the end-goal of producing an RP. And if the RP is running fine IC, then I kind of just let the OOC chatter happen if it happens and not happen if it doesn't. I don't like asking questions just for the sake of asking questions when I don't think it's necessary.

But I think that's a problem.

So, I'm wondering if people could share their best experiences with active OOC chats in RPs (group or 1x1, honestly; I think there are lessons I can learn for both). And maybe we can just have a bit of a discussion about the role that OOC chatter plays in maintaining a healthy longterm roleplay - because I have no doubt that it is important! I have definitely seen the correlation between activity in an OOC chat and activity in an IC chat in many successful (or temporarily successful) roleplays I've been in.

A few ideas of my own/general discussion points for how to keep an OOC chat alive, to spark the conversation:

• Asking questions to spark discussion at a regular pace (eg. discussion topic every week?)
• OOC events, either:
  • Related to the roleplay, like a "Random Plotting Day" where you throw out the craziest plot ideas you can think of for the RP, or an "AU Brainstorming Channel" where you throw out ideas about other directions the story could have taken, speculate on "What-Ifs", etc.
    • Though I worry the reason I'm thinking these would work is because, again, I'm very RP focused.
  • Unrelated to the roleplay, like:
    • Weekly games/gaming sessions (any good suggestions for what might work well here?)
• Discord servers --> do they help or hinder RPs? Most group RPs I've joined in the pasta few years have had a Discord server for OOC discussion but maybe it's better to keep people centralized on RP Nation rather than flipping between two sites?

I know it's undesirable to force an active OOC and that's why I'm trying to figure what I can do, as a GM or as a member in a group RP (or as a partner in a 1x1!), to set up a space/a system in which the OOC chatter develops and is maintained naturally. How do you build that sort of momentum from the start? Are there ways to better structure the IC part of an RP to foster more participation in the OOC?

GMs --> what strategies have you used? what challenges have you faced that I haven't even mentioned here? what makes it work and how do you think players can help with this, too?
Players --> what have been some of your best OOC experiences? why do you/don't you participate in OOC chats? have you ever had a great RP experience with a dead OOC? want to recognize (and tag?) any former/current GMs who do a great job of running an OOC?


I just want to have some fun in an RP (and make fun RPs for others to join)! And to do that, I think I need to figure out how to have more fun in an OOC chat. So please educate me!

 

[Merciless Medic]

I might make this brief because every time I've tried to be a GM, it fails lmao. XD But I can at least tell you on the player's side.


DiscordDiscord really helps. I know people don't like it, but it allows people to talk to each other on real time rather than on OOC or in PM on RpN. Making a real-time response on a thread-like page is clunky at best and it's frankly better to RP or make other kinds of discussion or games on threads than doing any real-time OOC. Real time OOC is basically the bread and butter for me. I can see when people come online or offline, I can see it when they type, and I get better notifications from Discord than the Discord bot letting me know RpN's got notifs for me, which may not be a reliable way for me given Discord is the middle man in this case and not a main platform where I do most of my communications.

Discord servers a bit more private, yes. It's off-site, yes. But if someone wants to show a picture of their dog without blaring it out on the woes of the public internet, it's easier to do so in Discord without everyone and their mother peeking into the OOC thread if they aren't a part of the RP and seeing that. lmao XD

Keeping people centralized on one site would be rather smart, considering not everyone has or wants to use Discord, but it makes for discussions to be a lot slower in my opinion. And in a server, you don't have to worry about sending long-ass OOC posts to make sure it doesn't look like you're spamming XD

OOC ChatterWhen people start talking about their OCs, I naturally want to talk about mine. Mainly because I know my OC the most and I like to make memes and talking to people about how our characters would react to each other and maybe make plans for established friendships and relationships before an RP starts or before we get there. We have some direction in that case if we ever end up having RP downtime, so it gives us a clue as to how to move forward with our posts without fumbling in the dark and wondering what to do without asking out of embarrassment or anxiety (unless someone asks me first, then I'm a bit better). Most of our ideas come from this OOC chatter and it can keep the RP interest up.

Even a simple "Hey, how are people doing?" and telling people about your day or something interesting, while simple and more like small talk at first, can lead to full blown conversations that can either last for minutes to hours. When I see GMs getting involved in OOC discussion and having fun with us, I can feel like I have a sort of connection with them where, yes they are the bosses of how the RP should be dictated in terms of following lore and have some form of a shaky line through their plot, but they are ultimately human and treating themselves and us like we are on equal footing goes a long way.

Distant PlayersWhen someone doesn't enjoy OOC stuff with me, I feel like they are distant because they either just aren't talkative and don't know what to say or my anxiety tells me it's because they don't like the topic or the people talking. Which mostly isn't the case, but I feel more connected the more I make friends with people through OOC. You don't even need to have games, just have some OOC memeing fun. xD

Best OOCAs for best OOC experiences, my current best OOC experiences have all been in Discord servers or 1x1 RpN PMs or Discord PMs where we can just talk and have a good time making non-canon memes lmao. XD Everyone, including the GMs, coming in and having a good time with us really helps with the anxiety of feeling like we have to perform like a player instead of a human/potential friend, when we should be working on doing the latter.

OOC Participation No-No's (for me)The stuff I don't participate in OOC chats are very minimal. I don't really care about what's being talked about because anything can be up for discussion. If there's nothing you can discuss about, then it's fine just to leave it as is until something comes up for you to post about it. However, people venting about negative personal stuff and getting really depresso that isn't talking about a character's backstory brings down the mood of the OOC. While occasional stuff of this is fine, especially when the players take some time to get to know one another where they have some ability to help get the troubled out of the negative mindset, having a player do it constantly is draining for everyone. I don't wanna make those people feel bad for doing it, but stuff like that is better put in DMs or PMs with someone you trust who better knows you, or an irl friend or something.

Another participation topic no-no's are anything that has to do with politics and religion. They cause the worst arguments and they aren't even started on purpose. People get heated about that sort of stuff. Never talk about it unless it's a theme for a character/plot/RP. I have seen people bring it up several times in different RPs on servers and on another site, then a flame war started, then they started playing this "he-said, she-said" game, obstinate in their opinion that it is correct. Whether anyone is correct or not, don't encourage that stuff. XD

Dead OOCI have never had a great RP experience with a dead OOC.

Never.

I am consistently always anxious, always wondering what the other person is going to be doing, constantly wondering if they are okay with my posts, if they are alright irl, why they haven't responded in a couple of days, etc. etc., and then I lose motivation for the RP and I get too anxious and I feel like dropping out.

If I see the person/people aren't talking to me when I ask how they are or asking me about anything regarding the RP, I feel like nobody is invested and sooner or later, given a week or two, the RP dies spectacularly fast. A dead OOC means a failing RP in my experience (and that experience of group RPs is like... 7 years worth of experience plus GMing mishaps). If you can't retain the attention and desire of multiple people to keep the RP going, then the OOC will die and so will the RP. Some people can handle not doing OOC and keep the RP going for months on end then kudos to those people, but it's infinitely harder to do so when you have different people you are RPing with who can't do the same thing. They need OOC investment to keep the motivation up. For me, the only way I can see myself doing that is if I am good friends with those RP people, and at that point we'd have plenty of OOC chatter beforehand to cement that friendship and the motivation to continue.

More OOC participation and hyping = more motivation

But be careful about hyping it up too much. You do that and they get into the RP, you'll end up disappointing people lmao. XD

---

Wow, this was a lot longer than it should have been lmao. xD Hope this helps. :3

 

[Merciless Medic]

I had to edit some of that post and added some stuff to it. XD So if you are seeing this right when I posted this originally, you might want to go back and check it out again.

 

[Saurosian]

Merciless Medic

Basically everything you've said... is exactly what I've experienced, too! So I'm glad to have those experiences affirmed.

My biggest takeaway from your post is: memes = good. Embrace the memes.

Which makes sense. Memes have probably benefitted a lot of traditional media franchises in the last few years, too, in terms of developing constant content for fandoms to engage with and produce between releases.

 

[CorralDust]

I really like your Random Plotting Day idea. I may steal it!

In our Discord server, we have my FAVORITE channel called the peanut-gallery, which is fourth-wall breaking, IC, but non-canon RP shenanigans. Posts are made in character and tend to be running meta commentary on the game, usually just a line or two in contrast to the paragraphs in a RP post. It's a way for folks to engage even if they aren't actively in a scene or if they only have a few minutes between real life obligations.

 

[Abyss]

I really like your Random Plotting Day idea. I may steal it!

In our Discord server, we have my FAVORITE channel called the peanut-gallery, which is fourth-wall breaking, IC, but non-canon RP shenanigans. Posts are made in character and tend to be running meta commentary on the game, usually just a line or two in contrast to the paragraphs in a RP post. It's a way for folks to engage even if they aren't actively in a scene or if they only have a few minutes between real life obligations.

I love the name "The Peanut-Gallery," it just sounds so much fun!

I might make this brief because every time I've tried to be a GM, it fails lmao. XD But I can at least tell you on the player's side.


DiscordDiscord really helps. I know people don't like it, but it allows people to talk to each other on real time rather than on OOC or in PM on RpN. Making a real-time response on a thread-like page is clunky at best and it's frankly better to RP or make other kinds of discussion or games on threads than doing any real-time OOC. Real time OOC is basically the bread and butter for me. I can see when people come online or offline, I can see it when they type, and I get better notifications from Discord than the Discord bot letting me know RpN's got notifs for me, which may not be a reliable way for me given Discord is the middle man in this case and not a main platform where I do most of my communications.

Discord servers a bit more private, yes. It's off-site, yes. But if someone wants to show a picture of their dog without blaring it out on the woes of the public internet, it's easier to do so in Discord without everyone and their mother peeking into the OOC thread if they aren't a part of the RP and seeing that. lmao XD

Keeping people centralized on one site would be rather smart, considering not everyone has or wants to use Discord, but it makes for discussions to be a lot slower in my opinion. And in a server, you don't have to worry about sending long-ass OOC posts to make sure it doesn't look like you're spamming XD

OOC ChatterWhen people start talking about their OCs, I naturally want to talk about mine. Mainly because I know my OC the most and I like to make memes and talking to people about how our characters would react to each other and maybe make plans for established friendships and relationships before an RP starts or before we get there. We have some direction in that case if we ever end up having RP downtime, so it gives us a clue as to how to move forward with our posts without fumbling in the dark and wondering what to do without asking out of embarrassment or anxiety (unless someone asks me first, then I'm a bit better). Most of our ideas come from this OOC chatter and it can keep the RP interest up.

Even a simple "Hey, how are people doing?" and telling people about your day or something interesting, while simple and more like small talk at first, can lead to full blown conversations that can either last for minutes to hours. When I see GMs getting involved in OOC discussion and having fun with us, I can feel like I have a sort of connection with them where, yes they are the bosses of how the RP should be dictated in terms of following lore and have some form of a shaky line through their plot, but they are ultimately human and treating themselves and us like we are on equal footing goes a long way.

Distant PlayersWhen someone doesn't enjoy OOC stuff with me, I feel like they are distant because they either just aren't talkative and don't know what to say or my anxiety tells me it's because they don't like the topic or the people talking. Which mostly isn't the case, but I feel more connected the more I make friends with people through OOC. You don't even need to have games, just have some OOC memeing fun. xD

Best OOCAs for best OOC experiences, my current best OOC experiences have all been in Discord servers or 1x1 RpN PMs or Discord PMs where we can just talk and have a good time making non-canon memes lmao. XD Everyone, including the GMs, coming in and having a good time with us really helps with the anxiety of feeling like we have to perform like a player instead of a human/potential friend, when we should be working on doing the latter.

OOC Participation No-No's (for me)The stuff I don't participate in OOC chats are very minimal. I don't really care about what's being talked about because anything can be up for discussion. If there's nothing you can discuss about, then it's fine just to leave it as is until something comes up for you to post about it. However, people venting about negative personal stuff and getting really depresso that isn't talking about a character's backstory brings down the mood of the OOC. While occasional stuff of this is fine, especially when the players take some time to get to know one another where they have some ability to help get the troubled out of the negative mindset, having a player do it constantly is draining for everyone. I don't wanna make those people feel bad for doing it, but stuff like that is better put in DMs or PMs with someone you trust who better knows you, or an irl friend or something.

Another participation topic no-no's are anything that has to do with politics and religion. They cause the worst arguments and they aren't even started on purpose. People get heated about that sort of stuff. Never talk about it unless it's a theme for a character/plot/RP. I have seen people bring it up several times in different RPs on servers and on another site, then a flame war started, then they started playing this "he-said, she-said" game, obstinate in their opinion that it is correct. Whether anyone is correct or not, don't encourage that stuff. XD

Dead OOCI have never had a great RP experience with a dead OOC.

Never.

I am consistently always anxious, always wondering what the other person is going to be doing, constantly wondering if they are okay with my posts, if they are alright irl, why they haven't responded in a couple of days, etc. etc., and then I lose motivation for the RP and I get too anxious and I feel like dropping out.

If I see the person/people aren't talking to me when I ask how they are or asking me about anything regarding the RP, I feel like nobody is invested and sooner or later, given a week or two, the RP dies spectacularly fast. A dead OOC means a failing RP in my experience (and that experience of group RPs is like... 7 years worth of experience plus GMing mishaps). If you can't retain the attention and desire of multiple people to keep the RP going, then the OOC will die and so will the RP. Some people can handle not doing OOC and keep the RP going for months on end then kudos to those people, but it's infinitely harder to do so when you have different people you are RPing with who can't do the same thing. They need OOC investment to keep the motivation up. For me, the only way I can see myself doing that is if I am good friends with those RP people, and at that point we'd have plenty of OOC chatter beforehand to cement that friendship and the motivation to continue.

More OOC participation and hyping = more motivation

But be careful about hyping it up too much. You do that and they get into the RP, you'll end up disappointing people lmao. XD

---

Wow, this was a lot longer than it should have been lmao. xD Hope this helps. :3

I'm terrified of GMing, but I agree with everything here! Venting is also something that I've seen quite a bit, so if I do make a Discord (which I also think is a must-have nowadays) then I'm thinking about making a Venting Channel. Otherwise I find that it can stall the general chat and this way people can choose to participate without feeling guilty! I'm also thinking about balancing it out with a celebration channel, for people to add things that they're happy about without worrying about feeling like they're showing off in a bad way. This was something that I saw used in a discord once and I felt like it made a lot of sense looking back at my previous experiences with groups.

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One thing that I would to add is that from personal experience how you respond when someone joins the chat will immediately set the tone of things going forward. If I join a new RP full of players I'm just meeting for the first time then I feel nervous and out of place. Having a friendly reception and some sort of hint/help for what to do next helps immensely. Showing an interest in all your players and engaging with them often is nice and encourages more participation from everyone. I think that a lot of players look to the GM for how they should behave/what's expected of them, so behave in a way that encourages the type of community you'd like to build.