Realistic or Modern Literally the Most Low-Effort Quest Ever

[Corrosion]

Your name is Bob. You live in a house. You have just woken up and decided it is time for breakfast.

What will you eat?

[1] Eggs and bacon
[2] Pancakes
[3] Cereal
[4] Air

 

[Corrosion]

Unfortunately, because Bob is a simple individual who is able to understand simple instructions unlike the poster above, he is unable to pull out a completely new option from his ass.

 

[EdgyRolePlayer]

[1] Eggs, bacon, and sausage

 

[Corrosion]

You decide to cook a generic breakfast of eggs, bacon, and some sausage thing that appeared on your plate. You eat the food and finish it. There is still some time before you go to work.

What should you do now?

[1] Watch football (not handegg, actual football)
[2] Play PC games
[3] Read a book
[4] Mingle

 

[EdgyRolePlayer]

[5] Relinquish yourself to your transdimensional alter ego's myriad tendrils.

 

[Corrosion]

[3]

Because people apparently cannot comprehend a simple choice between four options, you decide to read some shitty Lovecraftian fanfiction about Cthulhu hentai or whatever.

 

[EdgyRolePlayer]

Bob waits for a choice to appear, but alas, none does. Time ticks on and on and eventually he sinks into a deep depression; he cannot do anything without the choices, his guiding light in life.

 

[Malkav]

As Bob drifts into a deeper state of depression, he notices the abyss. Does he...?

[1] stare into the abyss
[2] not stare into the abyss
[3] sideways glance into the abyss
[4] wink cutely at the abyss
[5] hope that the abyss notices him first

 

[DarkD1vinity]

[5]

Bob sits in his overwhelming cloud of misery as he waits, anticipating, for the malevolent abyss to notice him in his sorry state. He fiddles with his fingers nervously as he awaits his fate, a small bead of sweat dripping down his forehead.
It noticed.
Soon darkness envelops the man completely, shadowing his previous surroundings in an encompassing blackness of woe.
But, surprisingly, through the darkness of the abyss, a tall figure emerges, human-like in appearance, but demonic with an aura of wickedness.
"Human!", the being asks, voice powerful and commanding, as if the very threads of time bowed to its will, "What be thy name?".
Upon closer inspection of the being, Bob notices that it has a very nice ass.
Does he...

[1] Stare at dat ass
[2] Tap dat ass
[3] Answer the beings question like a normal human being and pretend not to notice dat ass (not recommended).
[4] Drool like the creep you are
[5] Scream

 

[Error 420]

Y'all are rude

 

[DarkD1vinity]

 

[Daisie]

What fresh hell have I stumbled upon

 

[Pryno]

Clearly scream. The abyss just talked, and it has an ass. That’s the most logical course of action. Especially for someone as pathetic as Bob.

Daisie Welcome to Pandemonium, what is your business here? We have cheeseburgers, fresh souls, pizzas, fries...

 

[Daisie]

[2] - Fresh soul

I'd like a fresh soul, please. Maybe a bit of ectoplasmic hot sauce to go with it.