ZombWie
Hircus Hornbrow
It's about two am and the road is empty. Two men sit quietly in the cab of a tractor-trailer booking down Kansas State Route 9, just outside of Cawker City, KS. Big Joe is driving and Bert is looking distracted as he watches the white lines through the passenger window. Big Joe is about six and a half feet tall, tanned and the biceps of a WWF wrestler. It is clear that he spends a large amount of time in the weight room. Bert is the exact inverse of the giant trucker. Bert wears a white t-shirt customized with a glitter Q-Bert iron on. He clutches a Canon AE-1 with a 50mm f/1.8 lens as if he is ready to take a photo at any moment. Around Bert's waist is a blue fanny pack stuffed with film and various other essentials. Bert is five foot 6 in shoes and maybe a buck thirty soaking wet. His crazy brown curly hair is so overbrushed that it stands out from his head like a cheerleaders pom-pom. Big Joe reaches out to turn on the radio and Bert flinches. "Hey Bert, I'm not gonna hit'chya. I'm just putting some music on. Jeez!"
Big Joe turns the station a few times looking for something good, but all he can get is static and talk radio. He decides to leave the talk radio play if for no other reason, but to fill the silence. Both hands back on the wheel he sits up straight and shakes the sleep out by whipping his head back and forth. Bert eyes the driver with annoyance then turns back around to look out the window once more.
"... been a few weeks since we've had any real good ghost stories from you all. Why don't you give me a call? 1-800-SHORE-AM Welcome to the show caller, what's your name? (pause) Oh, well! I guess we won't be getting any good stories from that gal. Next on the line, Who is this we are talking to?"
"Hi! Is this Mel? Mel Bart? OMG! Mel! They put me through (unintelligible mumbles) ...name is Honeydew"
"Ha ha! This is me. Honeydew, what a great name. Honey, what truths have you called in to share this evening?"
"Oh! Uh, I'm just so... OH! OK, so, I am calling from Paradise, Kansas. Have you heard what happened here in Paradise?"
"Can't say that anything rings a bell. What happened?"
"Oh! So, I am working here at the End of the Rainbow Diner and we nearly got robbed, but didn't and um, so that's nothing, so there was this thing at the ACME? So, supposedly there was a plague of locusts and a bunch of people got killed, like dead, and the Sheriff was killed too!"
"A plague of locusts you say, wow. So biblical. Go on."
"Yeah, so apparently-"
Bert reaches out and turns the knob to silence the radio. "That's enough of that shit. Hey, Joe, We're here..."
The big rig slows down and maneuvers into a parking lot next to a lit up sign clearly meant to flag down tourists. In big bold letters it reads "World's Largest Ball of Twine". As they pull in the sign lights flip off. Big Joe turns around the side of the main building and heads to the back where a van and a Winnebago sit parked under a single streetlight. Bert jumps out of the rig and shuts the door without a single word spoken to Big Joe. Big Joe reaches over with an enormous arm and rolls down the passenger window and yells. "Bert! Come on dude. I didn't mean any offense by it man. I just wanted to see if I could get you to part with it for a few days. Come on man!" Bert waves one hand in the air without looking back. A few seconds later the rig turns around and heads back out of the lot. Kicking up stones as it merges onto the highway once more.
Walking up to the RV Bert can see that it is loaded with a few people and can hear a conversation from inside. Before he can get within ten feet the side door swings open and Lolli pokes her head out. "Herbert Gosh Darn Berger, how you been? I feel like pinching your cheeks, but that look on your face makes me think you might bite. Come on in. I'll make the introductions."
Bert Stands flat-footed outside the door peering in, his hand tightly gripping the camera strap over his shoulder. "Did you get them all? All five of them? ...alive this time?"
Big Joe turns the station a few times looking for something good, but all he can get is static and talk radio. He decides to leave the talk radio play if for no other reason, but to fill the silence. Both hands back on the wheel he sits up straight and shakes the sleep out by whipping his head back and forth. Bert eyes the driver with annoyance then turns back around to look out the window once more.
"... been a few weeks since we've had any real good ghost stories from you all. Why don't you give me a call? 1-800-SHORE-AM Welcome to the show caller, what's your name? (pause) Oh, well! I guess we won't be getting any good stories from that gal. Next on the line, Who is this we are talking to?"
"Hi! Is this Mel? Mel Bart? OMG! Mel! They put me through (unintelligible mumbles) ...name is Honeydew"
"Ha ha! This is me. Honeydew, what a great name. Honey, what truths have you called in to share this evening?"
"Oh! Uh, I'm just so... OH! OK, so, I am calling from Paradise, Kansas. Have you heard what happened here in Paradise?"
"Can't say that anything rings a bell. What happened?"
"Oh! So, I am working here at the End of the Rainbow Diner and we nearly got robbed, but didn't and um, so that's nothing, so there was this thing at the ACME? So, supposedly there was a plague of locusts and a bunch of people got killed, like dead, and the Sheriff was killed too!"
"A plague of locusts you say, wow. So biblical. Go on."
"Yeah, so apparently-"
Bert reaches out and turns the knob to silence the radio. "That's enough of that shit. Hey, Joe, We're here..."
The big rig slows down and maneuvers into a parking lot next to a lit up sign clearly meant to flag down tourists. In big bold letters it reads "World's Largest Ball of Twine". As they pull in the sign lights flip off. Big Joe turns around the side of the main building and heads to the back where a van and a Winnebago sit parked under a single streetlight. Bert jumps out of the rig and shuts the door without a single word spoken to Big Joe. Big Joe reaches over with an enormous arm and rolls down the passenger window and yells. "Bert! Come on dude. I didn't mean any offense by it man. I just wanted to see if I could get you to part with it for a few days. Come on man!" Bert waves one hand in the air without looking back. A few seconds later the rig turns around and heads back out of the lot. Kicking up stones as it merges onto the highway once more.
Walking up to the RV Bert can see that it is loaded with a few people and can hear a conversation from inside. Before he can get within ten feet the side door swings open and Lolli pokes her head out. "Herbert Gosh Darn Berger, how you been? I feel like pinching your cheeks, but that look on your face makes me think you might bite. Come on in. I'll make the introductions."
Bert Stands flat-footed outside the door peering in, his hand tightly gripping the camera strap over his shoulder. "Did you get them all? All five of them? ...alive this time?"
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