Nokumi
Honor. That's what I'm after. Fame. That's my goal
Reality is one of the harshest and cruelest things. And waking up to said reality. Is one if the hardest things to do. Especially when life can be so unfair.
In my case I was cursed with so much. To the point people dont believe me. And it hurts because all these things all the problems I have are real.
So real I sometimes wish I just… fade away… stop existing. Or maybe fall into a coma. A coma for a year and then when I wake up. All my problems are fixed.
When I know it will probably never happen
Smiling depression
Schizophrenia
Bipolar
Anxiety
OCD
PTSD
Night terrors
Insomnia
Autism
Short term memory loss
Hearing aids
And now newly added scoliosis
To my list.
Not to mention a mentally abusive. Controlling. Manipulative. Mean and psycho mother who turns everyone against me until they get to know me and then know her.
My dad. My dads friends and everyone who has known me and my mother knows how bad she is. And all the horrible things shes done to me.
Yet she has the audacity to ask me “what did I do to deserve my daughter moving out and ignoring me?”
If you want to know the examples
She makes fun of me being bisexual and calls my drawings evil. Calls me lazy for relaxing and told me that I am her one garente she will never be alone. When shes married. She has my step dad for that.
She told me I will never be able to be without a guardian and that I’ll never make it on my own. I never had friends to my birthday parties and I never been to a friends birthday party because my mom will never allow it.
I never had play dates with friends from school. I never had visitors. Never had anyone my age
When I turned 18 and decided to move in with my dad my mom purposely lost my birth certificate. My social security card. And i didnt have a id yet. She filled out my W2 without my permission and lost that too.
I told her of back pain I had for so many years and she said I was just being dramatic. Yet here we are I told my doctors and they said I an devoloping scoliosis.
My mom blamed everything on me and lashed out on me for being me. Everything I did was wrong or bad or evil.
I could never win. It made me feel miserable but I hid it behind a mask a smile. Behind jokes and giggles and stupidity. Only to break down later or I would hold it in so long I burst into crying infront of people no matter how hard I tried to keep it back at bay
I got bullied at school. Teased. Mocked and laughed at. But I could never go home and tell my mom. Any time I did she didnt believe me.
My mother called the cops on me for leaving the house after I turned 18. We got into a heated argument and she wasnt leaving me alone like we agreed. She kept fallowing me. Where was I supposed to go? I was just gonna head to the dollar general store Down the street for a little until she calmed down
That’s when she called the cops on me. She expected them to force me back home. She even told them I had disability’s. With all the scarry things on the news I was scared of what they would do to me. But to my SUPRISE they asked me what I wanted to do.
I asked to go to my local crisis center in which my mom refused to take to me to when I asked. And they did. But my mom turned around and told my dad I got arrested when that never happened.
Which caused my dad to lash out on me when I came to visit him before I moved in. Until I explained to him what happened.
Even so when I moved in with my dad my mom targeted him and hurt him. She hurt me too… i dont think i can forgive her…
(End chapter one)
In my case I was cursed with so much. To the point people dont believe me. And it hurts because all these things all the problems I have are real.
So real I sometimes wish I just… fade away… stop existing. Or maybe fall into a coma. A coma for a year and then when I wake up. All my problems are fixed.
When I know it will probably never happen
Smiling depression
Schizophrenia
Bipolar
Anxiety
OCD
PTSD
Night terrors
Insomnia
Autism
Short term memory loss
Hearing aids
And now newly added scoliosis
To my list.
Not to mention a mentally abusive. Controlling. Manipulative. Mean and psycho mother who turns everyone against me until they get to know me and then know her.
My dad. My dads friends and everyone who has known me and my mother knows how bad she is. And all the horrible things shes done to me.
Yet she has the audacity to ask me “what did I do to deserve my daughter moving out and ignoring me?”
If you want to know the examples
She makes fun of me being bisexual and calls my drawings evil. Calls me lazy for relaxing and told me that I am her one garente she will never be alone. When shes married. She has my step dad for that.
She told me I will never be able to be without a guardian and that I’ll never make it on my own. I never had friends to my birthday parties and I never been to a friends birthday party because my mom will never allow it.
I never had play dates with friends from school. I never had visitors. Never had anyone my age
When I turned 18 and decided to move in with my dad my mom purposely lost my birth certificate. My social security card. And i didnt have a id yet. She filled out my W2 without my permission and lost that too.
I told her of back pain I had for so many years and she said I was just being dramatic. Yet here we are I told my doctors and they said I an devoloping scoliosis.
My mom blamed everything on me and lashed out on me for being me. Everything I did was wrong or bad or evil.
I could never win. It made me feel miserable but I hid it behind a mask a smile. Behind jokes and giggles and stupidity. Only to break down later or I would hold it in so long I burst into crying infront of people no matter how hard I tried to keep it back at bay
I got bullied at school. Teased. Mocked and laughed at. But I could never go home and tell my mom. Any time I did she didnt believe me.
My mother called the cops on me for leaving the house after I turned 18. We got into a heated argument and she wasnt leaving me alone like we agreed. She kept fallowing me. Where was I supposed to go? I was just gonna head to the dollar general store Down the street for a little until she calmed down
That’s when she called the cops on me. She expected them to force me back home. She even told them I had disability’s. With all the scarry things on the news I was scared of what they would do to me. But to my SUPRISE they asked me what I wanted to do.
I asked to go to my local crisis center in which my mom refused to take to me to when I asked. And they did. But my mom turned around and told my dad I got arrested when that never happened.
Which caused my dad to lash out on me when I came to visit him before I moved in. Until I explained to him what happened.
Even so when I moved in with my dad my mom targeted him and hurt him. She hurt me too… i dont think i can forgive her…
(End chapter one)
Last edited:
