Journal Journaling is a Difficult Habit

[Lioness075]

So, a little backstory here. My first time ever being on some kind of forum-based website was, like, 10+ years ago for me. It was not a RPing site (I would've drowned it with angst-filled characters if I had found one back then). Instead, it was a fun website for a bunch of geeks and nerds to get together and talk about whatever or join games together online. It was very similar to this website, but was actually a main website for a particular YouTuber that I loved to follow and would join in playing a variety of online video games back then.
Anyways, so one thing I had started on that website was a daily journal thread. It was fairly random and I had a tendency to be inconsistent with my posting, but every time I did post, I would choose one part of my life or something I had experienced recently to splurge about. To my delight back then, people would flood the posts with likes and quite a number of them would actually respond and then we'd have all these fun conversations in-between my journal posts. It was a blessing of a thing for me to discover online at the time, as I was a very angsty teenager (as were many of us) and the journal helped me validate that not all of my feelings were as ridiculous or absurd as my parents would have liked me to believe back then.

Flash forward to today and I just remembered how fond of a memory that online journal was for me and so I would love to try and bring it back to life. Sadly, that old website has changed and all of my threads and postings have vanished. I would have loved to revive the old thread by migrating it over here, but instead I will have to start all over again.

I will go ahead and say that I love getting responses on this kind of thread and this thread will be for all open-minded people and all ages to comment on. If you're currently an angsty teenager and feel like you can relate to something I say, then go ahead and comment about it! I'm all for sharing my experiences in this weird and mostly beautiful world, just as I'm all for hearing about related experiences from others. One of my favorite things about this world is how unique every individual is and how their perspective on the world or their experiences can teach me something new.

Alright, now that all of that is out of the way...I will write my first official journal post underneath this introduction post.

 

[Lioness075]

Well, the biggest change in my life right now has to be my newest job. I don't know how much luck the rest of y'all have had with finding jobs or losing them, but I'm stuck in a weird limbo where I can only do temporary work. Not everyone on here knows me and so I will explain: I'm in the National Guard in the USA, which means on top of monthly weekend training (drill), I also have two weeks each summer for annual training (AT). I also commissioned as an officer back in August, so now I have officer training to attend (BOLC). Since I commissioned as a transportation officer, that means I get to attend Logistics-BOLC, where they'll train me to understand the basics of being each of the three types of logistics officers (transportation, quartermaster (supply), and ordinance (ammunition)) in addition to training me on the specifics of being a transportation officer. This training will last around 4 months and starts next mid-March for me. This means I can only work leading up to the training, but also need some job security for when I get back.
This brings me back to my newest job. I tried two others before I ended up at this one and in short, I learned the hard way that any job requiring me to be on the phone is not the right job for me. I'm pretty sure I'm 99% introverted, though I can be an ambivert when I need to. It can be exhausting for me, both mentally and emotionally, to be extroverted at all, though, so those other two jobs were very draining for me.
So, the new job is amazing because I have my own office space and only have one other coworker. We're both executive assistants, but I'm basically the assistant's assistant lol. I love the simplicity of the job, though, and it's part-time, so the hours are very flexible. I even got Thanksgiving week off with an agreed deal of simply working more hours the weeks before and after. It's absolutely heavenly. The supervisor and my coworker are super understanding and kind, which is such a rarity in most workplaces these days.
The job itself mostly involves me filing paperwork and typing up documents as is needed, but it's cool because I work for an organization that helps take donations and then dolls them out to organizations and even individuals in need. I want to eventually work as a mental health counselor somewhere, so if this job sticks longer than just being a temporary one for me, I'd have key work experience for my future career and I'm already getting a little taste of helping people.

It seems like all I hear about in the news these days is how it's all wrong and there aren't as many jobs available as people claim. I know my parents expected me to apply to hundreds of places, but it was such an unrealistic goal because I knew so few would actually take me. Unlike most college students, I couldn't work at all while getting my degree. I was in the ROTC program at my university and it took away all of my spare time each day on top of having to study for my classes. I barely got any time to care for myself throughout college and I hated the experience. My only time that I got to be a normal college student was when I studied abroad for a year.
I ultimately only got this job because instead of spamming companies with my resume online, I kept attending college career fairs and eventually got lucky with a staffing agency. After all, my only real work experience is with the National Guard, but I've only ever trained and my leadership experience has been very minimal in the past. It made the job hunt that much more stressful and exhausting because nobody wanted to hire someone with very little work experience. Ironically enough, most companies claimed to be hiring for entry-level positions, but then they'd ask that you have 3-4 years of experience in some particular field. Sadly, my psychology degree is fairly useless right now until I get my master's degree and then get licensed to actually counsel people.

In short, life can be truly exhausting and frustrating sometimes, but I found the light at the end of the road (no, I didn't die) and I believe that simply continuing to try and continuing to push yourself to do one more application or to attend one more carer fair means you still have opportunities surrounding you to get you where you want to be. I've heard all of the horror stories of people being unemployed for years, whereas I was unemployed for roughly two months. Now I'm not saying everyone will find a job as quickly as I did. In fact, many could find a job quicker than me or slower. The point is simply to not give up and to keep looking. I don't know about everyone else, but most of my job opportunities have been found through staffing agencies. Even if it's a temporary job for now, getting your foot in the door with a company and having a positive experience there can sometimes lead to permanent options. I know my coworker already has covertly stated a number of times that she hopes this becomes permanent for me because they're pushing for her to go full-time, but she'd rather not and that means she'd still need an assistant of her own.

 

[Lioness075]

Like the title itself says, this can be so difficult to keep up with. XD One of my little sisters seems to have no issue keeping up with her own journaling, which she says is really just her venting on paper lol. I feel that.

Anyways, since the holidays are rolling in now, I figured I'd write about Christmas to some degree. I don't know what Christmas is like for everyone and I know it can be many mixed feelings for most. I've certainly had my ups and downs with my family, but I ultimately look forward to Christmas each year. Especially now that I'm just working instead of attending classes and maybe doing something a little different each day. I love having a routine to follow because it's safe and simple to me, but at the same time it can become a bit of a bore after a while. I can't really afford a lot outside of my bills, necessities, and pet supplies, so I'm just trying to make the most out of the many things I already own. I do plan on spending as minimally as possible on Christmas gifts, as I'm going to be doing a little DIY work to make my gifts for my family (parents, siblings, and brother's wife). The only other thing I plan to buy outside of those materials will be a Piggie Box for my guinea pigs. A box of goodies for them, because I totally don't already spoil them. I can't really afford to be surprised by what goodies may come in a monthly subscription box, so I'm only buying their December box and because I have already seen a YouTube reveal of what's in it, so I feel confident they'll enjoy most, if not all, of what's in it. I'm super hyped about the DIY gift idea I found online for my family. I'll be making "Picture Frame Luminaries" for each of them. Essentially, very fancy Eastern-style lamps for night stands in their bedrooms. I think the most difficult part will be narrowing down four unique photographs for each of them. I want to be in each picture, but I know I don't have a lot of me with my brother's wife yet, so hers will probably be more focused on the proposal and wedding for now.

What gifts are you all planning for your family and/or friends...or pets? XD

The DIY gift ideas for the family was actually a new tradition I started a couple years ago when I studied abroad. I decided out of the blue that Christmas would be so much more meaningful for us if we all gifted each other unique gifts we either made, paid other people to make (Etsy, etc.), or simply bought for each other. I actually had someone on Etsy sew together an adorable betta fish stuffed animal for one of my sisters the first year haha. She loved her first betta fish, who ended up passing away with little explanation after a while. I feel like creating unusual traditions around the holidays makes them all the more meaningful. My family has the oddest traditions, too. Like, for Thanksgiving, we go to the beach and eat a seafood dinner instead of the traditional one most Americans enjoy. Then for Christmas, on top of the tradition I invented a few years back, we also have a Nerf gun battle on Christmas Day (which was epic last year when my dad's mom, sister, and our cousin all visited for it). We have all learned the hard way to not wear socks on Christmas morning. I plan ahead and wear my tennis shoes lol. We also have amazing homemade french toast, courtesy of my mom. And this year, my youngest sister has introduced a new tradition for our Christmas dinner: homemade hamburgers and french fries. XD I feel like we are truly the oddest family when it comes to "traditions".

What about you all, what weird traditions do you have around the holidays?