Jokes on You

LuvDragon

You're going to stand there and watch me burn
We all need a good laugh from time to time. So come on and post your best joke.
I'll be posting new jokes daily.​
 
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
 
Here, I have a joke, and I totally did not have to look up a joke to share: A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching around for money. I got out of bed and searched with him
 
My favorite bad joke:

What do you get when you cross a German Shepherd with a giraffe?
A watchdog that can see over the fence.

and the best bad joke I've come across in a while

DorkTower1268.jpg
 
Did you all hear about the crime of the century?
Someone broke I to the police station and stolen all the toilets.
Now the police are stumped and have nothing to go on.
 
Math joke!

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they will never meet.
 
Im not crazy! Im just special.

Well..
Maybe I am crazy

One second, I have to talk to myself about this..

hold on..
 
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is

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Math joke!

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they will never meet.
Math jokes, I love 'em.

You ever heard why everyone's afraid of the number 7? It's because 7 8 9.

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So there's 2 and 6, talking to each other without any worry in the world, until suddenly, the plus sign and the equal sign come walking to them.

"Uh oh, there they come." 2 tells 6.

"What's wrong with them?" 6 asks 2.

"Wherever those two go there's always a problem". 2 responds.

- - -

So there's a math exam, and the question is a multiple choice one with several different angles. The question reads "Choose the right angle". The kid looks at the question and says: "And how am I supposed to know which one is right? Am I supposed to guess, and hope I don't choose a wrong one instead?"

- - -

I love funny test answers. Here's a classic:

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And on the same line, once in class the teacher asked the students to find X. One of the kids raised his hand.

"Has no one found x yet? My mom said they were looking for it back when she was a kid too."

- - -

Another funny test answer that'll make your day:
81b6e1245d04b9b089f48987b0c45168.jpg

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Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!

- - -

What did i say to pi?

"Get rational"

What did pi reply back to i?

"Get real"

- - -

Why should a math teacher never call his students "average"?

Because it's a "mean" thing to say.

- - -

Why are obtuse angles always so upset?

Because they're never right.

- - -

What did the triangle say to the circle?

"You're so pointless"

- - -

How do you keep warm in a cold room?

You go to the corner, because it's always 90 degrees.

- - -

The teacher asks: "If Stacy had 42 candies, and ate 28 of them, what does she have now?"

The student replies: "Diabetes. She has diabetes."

- - -

Why are math books always so worried?

Because they always have a lot of problems.

- - -

Why is the equal sign so humble?

Because he knows he's not more than or less than anyone else.

- - -

Some funny images in which we question the strange actions of people in math problems:

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people-in-math-problems-be-like-69140437.png

reddit-why-do-you-need-128-melons-the-guy-from-66253089.png

- - -

The minus sign asked the plus sign. "Are you sure I make a difference?"

The plus sign responds: "I'm positive!"

- - -

Why should 2 never try to reason with its square root?

Because it's irrational.

- - -

You can't be successful if you're afraid of being odd. Remember, you have to be 'odd' to be 'number 1'.

- - -

I leave you with those for today. Who said math can't be fun? Have a great day!
 
What time is it when an elephant sits on you fence?



Time to buy a new fence.
 

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