Fandom Into the fire (1x1 MzHyde/Gallifrog)

[MzHyde]

Kay and Fia both didn't want to necessarily give her the third degree or come across as 'bad cop' to Rinaa, though the moment Rinaa seemed to react badly to Fia's question, it was clear to both girls that she was taking it badly, so Kay gave Fia the subtle look to tell her not to ask anything else. Fia luckily recognised the look and nodded equally as subtly in response. They listened to everything else Rinaa was saying, just accepting the fact that Rinaa was going to remain vague especially h around the two of them. Kay sighed, leaned forward and grabbed the paper. "okay, we won't ask anything else" she told Rinaa, really not wanting to risk another bust up between the teenagers, yet forever expecting it at the same time. Both of them could see the clues that the wolf side of her was starting to get very irritated by Fia and her asking questions, which always put Fia on edge which in turn made Kay go slightly on edge out of protectiveness for her teenage daughter, even though getting worked up was not a good thing to be doing in her current state.

"this is the guy in question." Kay then said, handing Rinaa the piece of paper whilst deliberately keeping his name unmentioned for the time being. She figured if she did know of him, she may already know his name or if she didn't then she would ask if they did. Either way she was using it as a bit of a test, whilst not being patronising in the process. "so have you seen him or recognise him from your time line? I know it's probably a long shot" Kay spoke up for Fia, deciding it was the best plan.

 

[_gallifrog_]

It was clear to the others that Rinaa wasn't enjoying this line of questioning, or precisely her other half wasn't. Had she just winced and rubbed her temples, they could have put it down to the headaches Rinaa was prone to as a side effect of her transformation, but it was the flash of her eyes that told John, Chas and Elliott that her wolf side was being riled up, which was seeping into her 'normal' side, making her incredibly defensive of her double life. She clearly enjoyed it and took it very seriously. She did have a point when it came to John's stance, that was a big barrier, especially as John was one of the people who was actually family to her. It was when she said that her existence wasn't approved of, a statement delivered with deep conviction, that Elliott had to resist the urge to simply call of the whole mugshot thing and wrap the teenager in a hug that could somehow change these horrible opinions she had of herself.

Luckily the interrogation stopped, and Rinaa breathed out an almost imperceptible sigh of relief. She could still feel the wolf side agitated in her head, as if it was pacing back and forth restlessly, she had to resist the urge to get up and pace herself. She was the one in control after all. She took the sketch carefully with her left hand, and examined it, tipping her head to one side, it was black and white, so there were some details missing. "Hair colour and skin colour?" "A sort of dark blond, almost brown and white, but tanned respectively." Elliott told her. It was a minute or so before she answered. "I can't be ecrtain, but I'm pretty sure I've seen him at Q's, which would make him not fully human, if he's human at all."

 

[MzHyde]

Both women watched on as Rinaa took ahold of the sketch and scrutinised it properly. Kay knew a lot of details would be missing due to he fact it was done in the nearest pen to her, which happened to be the pen that Jay used to write the note to let them know where everyone else was. Fia was about to reply to her question when Elliott beat her to the punch, nodding in agreement that Elliott got it right. "his name was Dean we found out as well but we don't know a surname. He lied to demons like they were just normal human thugs too to save my arse" Fia said, risking opening her mouth once more. Hearing Rinaa say he seems familiar to her but she wasn't entirely sure what the girl meant by Q's. "Q's?" Kay questioned, having not heard her call anything she's explained so far that name.

Fia really had hoped that he was just a normal human and that maybe just maybe, she bumped into a normal person for once in her life but it was seeming that her hopes were to be dashed and broken. She rested her head in the palm of her hand with a sigh wondering who or what this guy was and why was he just so conveniently in her path when she was making a getaway. She didn't get any angelic vibes off of him at the time or when they went back in the MindWalk, so he couldn't have been an angel looking out for her, similar to when John had Manny. Yet she couldbt think of any things that would be so casual around demons. Kay could see how frustrated Fia was getting at not being able to figure him out, which she sympathised with. "we'll figure it out kiddo" she told Fia. "I know, doesn't make it any less frustrating though. It just got me wondering if he's been around without me knowing before that night or even after that night. It's creepy just thinking about it." Fia explained.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Rinaa shrugged "I'm not one hundred percent sure......." she began to say, the rest of the sentence would have been "I didn't actually talk to the guy, only got a glimpse of him, could be barking up the wrong tree" but she cut the sentence short as Fia told her what they did know. The name didn't ring a bell, but the fact that he showed no obvious fear of demons, going as far as to lie to them was intriguing to say the least, and only confirmed her suspicions that he wasn't human. She could sense Fia's frustration that he wasn't human, and could see that it stemmed from genuine worry for her own safety, which was fine, but it annoyed her that Fia would have a negative attitude towards Downworlders as a whole. Rinaa was definitely biased on that, her landlord was a lycanthrope after all and she herself wasn't human either.

"So what is this Q's then? I don't recognise the name, and I like to think I know every non-human bolthole in London, so I'm guessing it must be from your timeline." John asked, realising that Kay's original enquiry about the place was lost through Fia's annoyance and worry. "Spot on there, it's a dive bar, won't be started in my timeline for... five years or so? It's got a strictly no humans entry policy, and is where you'll find every almost alien and Downworlder teen and student that lives in London. Cultural melting pot sorta place, allows people of those categories to have somewhere to go where they don't actually have to hide what they are. And while we're at it, I'd like to add, for the record, something about not tarring all Downworlders and non-humans with same brush. Just cos most have an extreme or amoral-leaning compass doesn't mean all do. Doesn't mean your guy isn't some creepy stalker, and if he is then obliterate him off the Earth, but until then, don't instantly dismiss somebody cos they aren't human, it's incredibly hypocritical for a start."

Rinaa hadn't intended to have such an outburst in front of the others, but it just happened, her voice taking on a 'I will fight you on this if you push me' type of tone. "So are we running this guy through the data base memories, see if he crops up in my timeline for anything? She asked, her tone more controlled.

 

[MzHyde]

Fia no doubt worded her worries not greatly, if he was a downworlder that wouldn't bother her, she just wanted for once to meet a guy that wasn't part of their world. She was part human albeit it being a mage but she still saw herself as human at least 50% human. She listened to Rinaa answer John's question about what Q's was, listening to her whole rant that was clearly aimed at her yet again. "I'm not saying every downworlder is bad. I'm not tarnishing every Downworlder either with the same brush. I know there's good ones out there. I'm creeped out at the possibility I haven't been aware of him being around if he has been. I'm more aware of who follows me than people think and if he's managed to do it without me knowing on top of me not figuring out what he is? That bugs me. So don't assume I'm being some hypocritical bitch over here about this just because I'm only half human. I'm not okay? " Fia retorted, a sharp edge to her own tone was easily heard. What Rinaa said really got under her skin and she hated it when people put words in her mouth. She crossed her arms over her chest whilst in her chair to refrain from storming out. She was getting so close to just wanting to deck Rinaa when she got like this and she knew a fight wouldn't end well for either of them. But she'd be willing to fight the other teenager even if she came out worse off.

The moment Rinaa ended her explanation of what Q's was, Kay just knew that could only end in an argument with Fia and low and behold it did trigger Fia's attitude. She tried to think of a way of neutralising the situation before it esclated anymore and all she could think of was to answer Rinaa's next question. "please, I for one would appreciate you doing that. We have theories and if we can get more clues to steer us in the right direction I want to know" Kay told her. She still had no plans to tell Fia her other theory she got in her head, she didn't want Fia knowing that warning at all. She really hoped Rinaa, or more to the point, her wolf persona wouldn't fall for the unintentional bait that Fia was throwing out and she even found herself grabbing John's arm in concern this was going to go south real quick.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Rinaa didn't say anything immediately after Fia spoke, she had read the whole situation wrong, which was on her, but her annoyance came from what she believed was a more justifiable place than having issues with her timeline's Fia. She'd had friends who'd been subject to serious prejudice and discrimination, both Downworlder and alien, as well as being subject to it herself fir her chimera make-up. In her time human-alien relations were at an all time low thanks to the brewing war between Attil and his it's allies. It also seemed to be a touchy subject for her wolf side, Rinaa couldn't figure out why. At first she'd thought maybe the wolf was just her nastier traits and negative thoughts personified, but she was realising that the wolf was a whole separate person trying to take over her mind. Which she was not comfortable with at all.

John, Elliott and Chas just watched it unfold, knowing that if did kick of they'd all have to put themselves between the two teenagers. Which wouldn't end well if Rinaa shifted, Cliff had said that the wolf side was volatile and aggressive, on top of being far larger and stronger than an Earth wolf. To them it looked like Rinaa's wolf side was trying to be as deliberately infuriating as possible, and it was working on Fia, it knew exactly how to push her buttons. When eventually she did speak, it was a groan of "oh SHUT UP will you? That's not going to help matters" accompanied by a vicious rubbing of her temples. Realising based on the other's faces that she'd said it aloud Rinaa added context. "Not you Fia, you make a valid point, the other one."

She took the sketch and stood up, grabbing the guitar case and making fro the door. "Where are you going?" Elliott asked. "Bathroom, I need a mirror, I can't do what you do and just sink into my head to review my own memories, I have to use a different method, a more unorthodox one."

 

[MzHyde]

If there was anything that Kay could understand and relate to Rinaa over, it was having another whole entity in your mind talking and being a pain. Before the help she got from John, she had the exact problems like Rinaa did, the other version of herself talking, yelling, and generally being so excruciating that it brought on migraines that would sometimes make her pass out from the pain. Even then there were times when Fee would lecture her and she'd still get the headaches still. She just wished that Fia would understand that and not fall for the bait that Rinaa's wolf side was throwing out to her all the time. The outburst from Rinaa made Kay and Fia both look at Rinaa like it was truly about to kick off, but Rinaa managed to calm the situation by saying she wasn't speaking to Fia at that given moment.

Fia actually internally sighed with relief slightly even if she was still slightly pissed off that she got accused of such things by the other version of Rinaa. She just nodded and looked down at her lap in reply to Rinaa, deciding to stay quiet. Kay was alot more open about her sigh of relief that the situation fizzled out and a fight wasn't about to break out in Cliff's family home. She watched as Rinaa stood up curious to where she was going, but Elliott had it covered in asking her. She just let Rinaa do whatever it was she needed to to try and find some answers. She then glanced back toward Fia to see how she was doing, feeling tempter to tell her to go for a walk or something to cool off, yet she didn't fully know if it would be the right thing to do.

 

[_gallifrog_]

When Rinaa yelled in frustration, it genuinely sounded like she was aiming it at Fia, which caused John and Elliott to tense, both preparing themselves to intervene. The rubbing of her forehead spoke differently, all three recognising it from the times when Fee was giving Kay grief. Evidently Rinaa's wolf half was doing the exact same thing, except it had a more tangible influence on their shared vessel than Fee during those arguments. Rinaa's explanation for why she said what she did was an apology for both her and the wolf's behaviour, she really didn't want to start a fight, even if the wolf side seemed to be spoiling for one. Her reason for leaving the room was the truth, she did indeed need a mirror to review her own memories, but she knew that somebody needed to remove themselves from the room before things got physical.

Her leaving was the most logical and she breathed a sigh of relief once out the door, hating how easy it was for things to spiral out of control when she was in the room. The others didn't deserve that kind of treatment, particularly Fia, words hurt, Rinaa knew that all too well. It seemed she was turning into the kind of person she despised. Once in the bathroom she bolted the door and stuck the sketch to one side of the mirror. From the guitar case pocket, she pulled one of Jay's ink bottles, the one that contained the clear ink and drew up a measure, placing the syringe on the sink. That was for later, first she had to talk to her other half. She braced her arms against the basin and stared deep into the mirror, the person looking back at her was somebody Rinaa barely recognised as herself, and it wasn't just the new haircut or the very faint circles of deprivation around the eyes. "We need to talk" She stated bluntly."I may not have the best relationship with this version of my family, but that doesn't make it open season for you to abuse them or keep spoiling for a fight. She's a bloody phoenix you know? And we both know that you fear fire just as much as I do. What are you playing at?" Rinaa's eye flickered amber as the wolf side replied.

Elliott flopped back into the couch as Rinaa left, shortly followed by John. "Well that was a shit show to say the least." "Agreed, I didn't see the vigilante thing coming, But I didn't exepct her to get so defensive when asked why she keeps it so secretive and vague." "Well, if I had to guess, it's because Fia questioing why she keep her double life was phrased in a way that make it sound like she's just dismissing the whole thing as being unimportant or not a big deal, when for Rinaa this is her life and her friends and something she's willing to risk her life for. To hear it treated as nothing? That seems to be what's happened to everything else in her life, her talents are rejected constantly there, but here, and now, is supposed to be different." "And for that to happen here is worse in a way. We're supposed to be better than them." Elliott sighed, understanding perfectly where Chas was coming from."And Rinaa's reaction to being rejected is to not bother and change anybody's perception, to retreat into herself. Where as the wolf goes on the offensive, defending her actions and fighting back. Rinaa retreating leaves the perfect , and unintentional opening for the wolf to act."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay was so glad that things had been diverted and paused between them. She really didn't want for Fia and Rinaa to be at logger heads again after they were doing so well at getting along and seeing different sides to each other. It was so nice to see them getting along and just being competitive in a friendly manner for once and not because there was dislike coming from one side. She couldn't disagree that the whole thing was a bit of a shit show but she was slightly relieved that it was clear both Elliott and John were ready to jump in between the girls if it had come to it. She glanced over at Chas when he explained his theory to why Rinaa or more accurately, her wolf side took it so badly was because of Fia's wording, finding it did make a lot of sense. Even she had to admit it wasn't the best way her daughter could have worded her question, even though how it was taken wasn't what she meant at all. "main thing is disaster was avoided." Kay said calmly, whilst every now and then glancing at Fia seeming to just retreat into her mind.

Fia listened to what everyone was saying, and she was the first to admit that she never did word things greatly at times, all due to her upbringing style but she also knew she couldn't fully blame her upbringing on it either. She kept remaining silent even though she hated what she was hearing due to knowing it was the truth. In the end she just swung her legs down from the position they were in in the chair, got up and just walked out the room and onto the front porch instead without saying a single word. Her moving made Kay look up at her, about to say something but Fia was out the front door before she even got a word out. Fia had a feeling she'd be followed by someone, so she moved from the porch and climbed onto the roof instead, sitting down and hugging her knees. She just didn't want to be in the room when they were talking about her as if she wasn't there.

"... Great..." Kay spoke sarcastically after Fia was out the room.

 

[_gallifrog_]

"You don't deserve to be treated like that, you can't just let all these people misunderstand everything you are." Came the reply. The voice was nothing like Rinaa's, it was deeper, with a rumbling quality that meant certain syllables were drawn out in a way that made them sound almost growly. "They don't mean it in that way, they don't actually mean it as a personal attack on either of us, they're just going at this bluntly more hammer than scalpel. And unlike their counterparts in my timeline they aren't specifically Fia and Kay aren't trying to play verbal or psychological games. You've got to understand that, they're different, better than them." Rinaa explained as control of the mouth was passed back to her consciousness."But if you know all this, know they don't mean it, then why do you feel the pain of old wounds re-opening when they unknowingly say things like that, why do I feel you hurting and why do you retreat back into yourself?" Rinaa just sighed sadly, knowing the wolf had a point, she did retreat into herself at times like that. "Because....." she trailed of, realising she'd never bothered to find out if her counterpart had a name, being too busy trying to bury it in her mind, when really, maybe what she needed to do was accept that the other was there to stay.

"Sykes" the wolf supplied, sounding slightly calmer than earlier. "Because Sykes, I don't know how to deal with it any other way, I'm emotionally and psychologically fucked up. I don't want a family fight, I've been the cause and the subject of far too many of them. And now thanks to your earlier outburst, the wedded couple are going to come home to another one of our messes." "Shit!" "Understatement." Rinaa deadpanned"So my earlier question, why are you so angry at everything?" It was the wolf's turn to sigh and rest the forehead of their shared vessel against the cool glass of the mirror. "I had a life before I came into you. It's a lesser known thing, but Astras souls are passed from generation to generation. One of us dies and our soul gets reborn into a new pup. I remember the days in the labs, the pain, the terror, the testing. I see elements of my torture in your life, and it pisses me off, that these people, two of which have been through their own childhood trauma, could utterly destroy an innocent child to the extent you have been. I was a mother myself. Not to mention that your family have this uncanny ability to understand things completely the wrong way and phrase things in an even worse way. I see red o those occasions and go on the defensive, call it a ferocious-protective instinct." Their conversation wasn't particularly loud, somebody would have to be eavesdropping at the door or window in order to hear it

John could only sigh, disaster had been avoided, but only temporarily, he'd really thought that the wedding could finally be the thing that brought the two together, making them put their differences for two people the knew, loved and looked up to in their timelines. Maybe he should have suggested that them making a truce and getting along would be an ideal wedding present for the couple. It was unconventional, but he couldn't see a 'normal' solution to this particular problem. Chas, as always had something to say on the matter, which sounded like a pretty solid guess to John. But it was also beginning to sound like every time there was a bust-up between the two somebody would always have a psycho-analysis of Rinaa that painted her in a better light. This whole thing was affecting Fia to, it was clear as day that not only did Rinaa's words hurt, but she could see an element of truth in Chas' words and didn't like what she saw there. He knew Fia didn't mean to cause offence with her question about why Rinaa kept things secret, but it was one of the few times where John would actually argue for diplomacy and more aesthetic language than simply saying things as you saw it. He wasn't surprise that Fia left the room, he would have left long ago in her shoes, or decked Rinaa or both. He was proud of his kid for staying her ground and not being a hot head.

He nodded in agreement to Kay's statement. "I'm really wondering why we're bothering with Rinaa anymore, it's just upsetting our own kid more an' more each time." He was torn between going after Fia and trying to talk about emotions and re-assure her that things were going to be fine and Rinaa didn't mean what she was saying (but he didn't believe that himself, so would it even be fair to tell her such things?) and letting somebody else (Chas) go up and talk instead (which wasn't exactly fair on the cabbie, who really had no need to be involved in all this. "Should I go talk to her now, or give her a few then go up?" he asked. It wasn't normal for John to ask about this kind of stuff, which showed it was affecting him too.

 

[MzHyde]

Fia just found herself staring outward at the scenery in front of her whilst keeping her chin on her knees as she hugged herself. She wished she wasn't the type of person to talk so abruptly sometimes, she wished she had grown up with normal friends around her like Rinaa had so she knew when to watch what she said and how to react in general around people. She wished she never opened her mouth down there in the living room and just remained silent, but she was curious as to why a lot of Rinaa's life was kept a secret from her family. Sure, John had this thing against vigilantes and the like, but it was Rinaa.. They'd understand and still give her support no matter what. She wasn't the only one who had that lifestyle on the sides after all. Yet because Fia opened her mouth she caused yet another rift in the family and made things incredibly awkward. She was beginning to really hate herself because of it which wasn't like her in the slightest. "why do I have to be such a fuck up all the bloody time?" she mumbled to herself, tears prickling at her eyes threatening to fall down.

Kay listened to John agreeing with her just from that one word she spoke out loud. Yet it said so much more than she let on, which made her glad that John picked up on all that enough to be able to reply. She never wanted to speak ill of Rinaa in front of Elliott, knowing he was her dad, or at all for that matter, but it was getting more and more difficult to be remain unbiased on these rifts. She was hurting Fia and that was making Kay start to feel utterly protective of her own kid. "it really is and I can see how much its beginning to drag Fia down mentally..." she agreed. "I don't want to speak ill of Rinaa, I really don't. But it's getting so hard to watch her verbally dragging Fia down like this" she added. She too wondered if she should go after Fia or not but if Fia did just go up to the roof like it sounded, Kay didn't think she'd be able to get up there.. At least not in the traditional sense. She was just feeling the general aches and pains today from the pregnancy so didn't want to overdo it. "it's already been a few minutes. I'd say go up now. I think this time she needs her dad and not her mum, brother or godfather" she told him truthfully.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Rinaa sighed, her breath fogging up the mirror as she leaned against it. This was getting so much more messed up with every minute. "It's justifiable to an extent, but we're taking this too far, nobody else should be getting hurt because of us. I'm here to try and change things for the better, yet all I seem to be doing is making things worse. If you keep going the way you do, lashing out at Fia, there's going to be two suicidal teenagers who hate themselves, and what's that gonna achieve if her timeline wins out? She's gonna blame herself for this, even if it isn't exactly her fault, not knowing that I'm also beating myself up for this. This shit has got to stop. I came here with one goal, you know it and you've never stopped me from trying to achieve it. So lets cut the shit and negotiate." "Okay, you're right" Sykes replied after a pause. "This can't go on without consequences, now that I'm becoming more aware of what's around us, and the context for all those remarks, I can see how bad this is getting now. I may be loosing my chance at life in one vessel, you're losing yours forever. And yes, the kid doesn't need me being a literal bitch. So what do you have in mind?"

"A truce-slash-business contract. You help me with executing my plan- saving Elliott's life and destroying my timeline. Permanently. You stop taking out your aggression on my family, and don't rise to anything Fia says, let me deal with it, If the anger is still a thing, we channel it into something else, if it needs to be channelled into self harm, so be it, the pain will help me focus anyway." "And in return?" the wolf asked, already finding terms acceptable, but didn't want to do it for nothing either. "I'll agree to let you shift and have full control over our body in both forms. But not on a whim, like shifting during a date, that's just a no. A pre-arranged period, unless in self defence like that time you saved Jay, which I didn't actually thank you for, now that I think of it, so thank you. And I think a hunt, here on this planet might be just what we're missing in our lives."

"Yeah, it is, I can see that, and I wish I could do something about it, but the connection I have with Rinaa is pretty fragile and I don't want her to lose the parent she never even had in the first place." It was an impossible choice, choosing the side of either his daughter (who had so much potential, but equally as many issues) or his kid sister (who had her own shortcomings, yet was equally amazing in so many different ways to Rinaa). he was understanding now how choosing sides in a place where sides shouldn't exist was tearing apart his family. "It's a bloody mess and I'm just as stuck on what to do as everybody else." He sighed, running a hand over the top of his head. He and Chas could see that John was struggling to know what the right thing to do was and couldn't blame him. "I'm with Kay, go to your kid, you don't have to say anything, just be there, it'll mean a lot." "Well you are the guru of parenting knowledge." John replied, getting up.

He heard the sounds of Fia heading onto the roof earlier and clambered up easily enough. The porch railing was at the perfect height to allow access to the roof, he suspected that was a deliberate move. The sight of Fia, knees drawn up, head down was all too familiar to him. He'd seen it in Elliott and in Astra, and it tugged at something inside him, kids in pain, emotional pain particularly were a pressure point. "Okay John, You got this" he told himself internally, before making his way over to Fia, sitting himself down beside her, and putting arm around her, pulling her against his side. He would wait for Fia to talk first and see where it went from there.

 

[MzHyde]

Kay listened to Elliott knowing this was easily just as hard on him as it was proving for herself and John. She felt for Elliott just as much in this situation and she could completely understand why he would feel so torn on what to do, and why he would want to keep that fragile connection with Rinaa as secure as it possibly could be. She too could see how torn John was on what to do, they were all in the same boat as each other, and she felt like the only right thing she did was agree to let Rinaa do what she could to see if this Dean appears in anything to squash the tension that was in the room at the time. When Chas agreed with her that John had to be the one that went up to the roof to Fia, she felt like she was getting somewhere when it came to being a decent parent, or at least making a start on sussing her kid out. She then budged slightly letting him get up before sitting back and massaging her bump.

Fia was so wrapped up in her own head, she didn't even pay attention to John climbing up onto the roof until he sat next to her and pulled her into his side. She didn't flinch at the sudden touch she received, but instead just curled up into his side even more, one of those tears that threatened to roll down her face just moments prior succeeding in escaping her lower eyelid. She didn't make a sound, just moved her arms from her knees to gripping onto John's shirt. "why do I always fuck everything up dad?" she asked, the question coming out of her mouth before she could even stop herself from saying it out loud. "I just wanna be her friend and I always fuck everything up. How is it I can be capable of so much but talking to someone I fail so badly at?" she ended up sobbing by this point. It was like she wasn't even seventeen but so much younger, just a little girl who needed her father.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Giving freedom o her wolf side may have sounded suicidal to anybody else, but as the negotiations progressed a set of guidelines emerged, mainly consisting of a long list of 'do nots' mostly aimed at Sykes, but the wolf also had pointers to offer on Rinaa's own life and her attitude towards certain things. "That works" Rinaa nodded when the basic rules were drafted and bullet pointed on the back of a receipt she had in her pocket."But how can we be sure to keep this vow. It's all fair and good just saying this stuff, but words alone can be broken, we need to make this permanent and powerful." "An Isogrii vow and forfeit? You are Isogrii by bloodline and name, so you can't break one of those without the forfeit kicking. And if said forfeit in is high enough, it gives real stakes, real risk, the stuff you thrive on and since vowing on your life isn't going to make this worth anything, I know just the thing." "So do I, and I think it's the same as yours."

John's heart broke at the sight of his kid so utterly upset, clinging to him in an almost identical manner to Elliott after a nightmare. He could see how vulnerable she was underneath her usual bravado, realising that just like his uncaring arsehole persona it was a protective front to keep people from knowing the truth. Fia needed comforting right now, and Kay was right, it could only come from him. He pulled her closer to him, rubbing a hand on her back in a way that always helped the younger Elliott when he was upset or the older Elliott when he was chucking up his guts after over-exerting himself using magic.

"Kid, you are the furthest thing from a fuck-up I've ever seen" he began, meaning everything he was about to say. "You haven't fucked everything up, not even close. Look at all the stuff you've done since you came to this timeline, gettin' back your times Kay being the prime example. That's not the rap sheet of a fuck-up, that's the stuff of an incredible kid. Sure, it ain't been perfect, but that's life, you got stickin' points and shitty bits. You're incredible in so many ways, but that only makes the bits that aren't as strong stand out. You aren't as bad as you think when it comes to people, yer just overthinkin' and comparin' yourself to everybody else, which never ends well. When you focus o flaws, it only makes things worse, tale it from one whose been around that block far more times than he can count. As for trying to be Rinaa's friend, it says so much about you that you're even willing to try. Rinaa is one of those sticking points and not just for you, for everybody, including herself. Some part of her wants to be friends with you, I have no doubt of that, cos what kid wouldn't want to be friends with you? Rinaa gave up on herself years ago, 'Leah Tziyen' a girl like the one you know is dead to her, she never even tried to be her Attili moniker Lea'Qui'Tzi and whoever 'Rinaa' is, it's temporary at best, fast being replaced by 'Artemis Taylor'. If any of us can bring the kid she used to be back to life it's you. So don't ever say, you're a fuck up, cos you so aren't."

 

[MzHyde]

Fia didn't intend to be as open as she was with John, but just like when she was a mere child she found it so easy to be open with him and he never once judged her for it or stopped her from opening up to him. Kay had always told her that she could talk to either of them when things went on her mind, but from the moment she set her bed alight from a nightmare at aged 9, making it the way she found out she was half phoenix, she felt she could trust Kay with anything that was on her mind. So she always turned to John and if John wasn't around it'd be either Elliott or Chas, whoever was nearest and free to chat with her. She listened to his first sentence and found it so hard to believe but it panged at her heart hearing it none the less.

As she continued to listen to everything he was telling her, she continued to cling to him tightly like her life depended on it, her face buried into him in the process. She sniffed as he said she was an incredible kid and that she had achieved so much since coming back to be with them. This was all things that she just didn't think about in this moment, doing exactly what he said she was... Overthinking and comparing herself to everyone else. As what he said went on, she started to cease crying a bit more, but her hold on him didn't lessen, not just yet. Knowing that he was just as bad at focusing on flaws and dwelling on the negative is one thing that Fia assumed was what it made it so easier to confide in him.

By the time he got to the last thing he said, she had managed to stop crying an dloosen her grip on him just that bit more. Hearing him that she was far from a fuck up meant absolutely everything to her. "I just feel so caged up all the damn time dad... Whether it's literally for very valid reasons which took me years to accept, and figuratively down to always saying the wrong thing... Or being made to not say certain things." she said, realising she shouldn't have said the last bit but also knew it was vague enough it could just be about the timeline rules. Yet she actually meant the information she found out from Rinaa's tineline version of Jay during that clear out she helped with, and told Chas about. "I just want to be normal sometimes...ya know? I want a friend... I want to feel like I'm not going to disappoint everyone because I word things wrong sometimes. I'm so scared of just being this great big disappointment to you and mum" she then added.

 

[_gallifrog_]

John could feel Fia's death grip on him gradually loosening and knew that it was because she was calming down. In his life John had rarely been the person doing the crying on somebody's shoulder, he was the person people ended up crying on- Astra, Elliott after nightmares, Zed, Noah once (which he denied afterwards), his sister (mainly when their father was drunk and John was already half beaten to a pulp) and even Chas on a few rare occasions. Most wouldn't believe that people cried near John, but they'd be wrong when it came to those close to him. He could feel Fia's convulsing shoulders stop, before eventually falling still, but he continued rubbing her back anyway, his hand sometimes stroking her hair, just letting her talk and vent it all out.

Fia had evidently inherited the family trait of keeping things bottled up until she could take it no more. Not talking (because he couldn't or because he wouldn't) was something John excelled in, judging by the fact that Fia didn't know the story of Newcastle, which if he was being honest with himself, he didn't want any kid of his to know about. Elliott only knew because the date of Astra's death coincided exactly with the date of his own banishment and they spent that anniversary wallowing their sorrows every year then smiting demons in the night, which had a strangely cathartic effect. hearing that Fia just wanted to be normal didn't surprise him either, she'd had no choice in life. Even if she wasn't phoenix, having a father and a brother involved in the mage path meant her life was inevitable going to brush with the world of magic. Normal wasn't simply an option for her, the choice having been robbed from her before she was even born.

"Normal was never an option for you kiddo, just like it never was for any of us. You were born into this, never had a chance to chose the path for yourself. I'm pretty damn sure all of us wish our lives were normal, Gods know I spent most of my childhood wishing for just that, wishing I was normal so things would be different, so they would be better. I don't know how much of my childhood you know, but long story short magic was the less dangerous option. You couldn't disappoint me kiddo and I'm afraid the bluntness and gob you've got most likely came from me, you should see my League file and what they have to say about me own gob, it's pretty hilarious at points. The only thing that could make you a disappointment is if you followed exactly in my footsteps and decided that murdering me an' Kay is your only option for a good life. In which case the failure would be on us and not you. Got it?"

 

[MzHyde]

Fia found him rubbing her back and stroking her hair massively calming, making her feel like she was safe just like it did when she was a mere child. John always worried about being a good father but to Fia he was the best father. The fact there were flaws, major and minor in their choices of upbringing for her didn't even matter to her. She grew relatively happy with her family around her, even if there was always this lingering feeling of loneliness because she knew there was no way she could do the normal childhood things. She just felt like she had to grow up so quickly mentally, that she never truly gave herself a chance to be just a kid. That wasn't ever to say that she didn't enjoy what she did, she did. She loved being this badass teenager that could look after herself, just sometimes it wasn't enough.

She listened to what else he had to say in reply to her own venting, only knowing the bare basics of his childhood and that he was technically a twin. She knew that much because when she was younger around 13 years old, she had a temper tantrum as did most teenagers at that age, which made the story come out. It was then she calmed down out of shock and instantly apologised for her foul mouth, so hearing from him now saying magic was the less dangerous path, it only matched up with his future self's story. As when he always spoke to her, she stayed silent to listen and let his words sink in. Hearing that she couldn't be a disappointment to him or Kay made her pull into him more and wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. When he mentioned the file the League had on him and what he's said in the past made her smile ever so slightly, the tiniest snigger coming out before it disappeared just as quickly as it came out. She glanced up at him when he finished talking and nodded. "got it" she replied.

"mum always would say we're too alike for our own good... In my time anyway... I guess she's right" she added, not quite ready to let him go yet. Back downstairs and inside, Kay made a note of how long the two of them were up on the roof and figured it could only be a good thing and that John had managed to get Fia to talk. Or at least, she hoped that was the case, to say she was concerned would be an understatement, her fingers tapping the arm rest subconsciously.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Thankfully Fia didn't question the remark he made about not murdering parents, that was one of the darker aspects of his childhood, Kay knew part of it, from that one time he'd opened up about his father, but Chas knew the full story in all it's grisly detail. They could never be sure if it truly was John that had killed his mother during childbirth, the medical people on call had tried to save both the living child and the mother, but it was too late for his mother. John had grown up being blamed for her death, and he still carried that belief with him. But the story took a darker turn when it came to his father. John had murdered Thomas Constantine in cold blood by setting the childhood apartment on fire, and warding it to so his father couldn't get out. John not only made it happen, he watched it happen, taking in every single grisly detail of it, wanting his father to know who his own killer was.

The scenes were burned into John's memory, but he saw them from a third person perspective, a lanky blond haired male, barely out of his teens, dressed in a second hand trench coat, watching in the doorway, his eyes glinting, his face hard. The official investigation cited a gas leak, crappy apartment and a twenty-a day cigarette habit as the cause, ruling the death as accidental and John didn't regret doing it. The bastard deserved it in his mind. It was only after meeting Kay, and by extension Fa that he wondered if the fact that fie had been his murder weapon was significant in any way.

Hearing Fia give out a slight chuckle about his file made him smile. The psych evaluation was particularly brilliant in his mind, both the official notes and the notes of other League members. He, Elliott and Chas had a right laugh at it around a couple of drinks when they first managed to get their hands on it. "It doesn't surprise me that she'd say that ta be honest. And I don't know whether it's a good thing or a bad thing either, but it's what you got, so you might as well make the most of it."

 

[MzHyde]

Fia this time knew that it wasn't something to bring up in question to him. She knew his father was in Hell and he sent him there but that was all she knew, just like how that's all Kay knew. It was enough for her, she knew his own father was abusive so in her eyes, however he was sent to Hell it was deserved. She also came to the conclusion that John was ten times the father his own one was, even without ever knowing her grandfather. She also learned that there were certain subjects she just shouldn't ask John about and that was actually fine with her, despite some of her behaviour and constant curiosity to know the full in and outs of subjects.

She never thought of what Kay would say to her about herself and John as a bad thing. She always looked up to John, and yes, she was alot alike him more than she would have probably admitted a while ago, but now she was starting to see just what future Kay meant by those words. Future Kay also almost always said it out of fondness for the two of them. It was only when she was being too stubborn and refused to stop working to eat dinner for example, that she said it out of frustration. "I'm pretty sure she always means it as a good thing and I do make the most of it. I don't see it as a bad thing particularly either." she told him. She then sighed as she managed to compose herself fully after all this time. "thanks dad..." she said to him before slowly sitting up a bit but not necessarily making an effort to get out of his grip.

 

[_gallifrog_]

John would take a much longer time to be persuaded that being like him was a good thing. He was all too aware of what kind of person he had been in the past and was where there was nobody or nothing to keep a cap on him. Like everybody he was a mix of good, bad and ugly traits, and like he'd explained to Fia there was a tendency in both of them to fixate on the worse traits. He'd pretty much made his peace with being like he was, but was still conflicted over the idea of somebody turning out like him. That was why Elliott had been such a bone of contention with him, as he really couldn't see at times just how different his adopted kid had turned out from him, and how instead of John's presence eroding Elliott's moral compass, it had strengthened it. A part of him knew that Kay meant the words in a good way, but he'd heard it applied so many times as a negative that it was hard to shift his mindset overnight.

"Good ta hear." Was what he ended up saying, thus avoiding airing his own thoughts and undoing all the comforting he'd done for Fia. He felt Fia uncurl herself and move so that she was sitting beside him as opposed to on him, and knew it was a good sign. By now he'd stopped stroking her back, and just kept the arm around her instead. He was in no rush to go in and in all their time on Cliff''s family's island he'd never actually had a chance to admire the view from the roof. The very tips of the harbour could be made out along with various boats. To the side of the main harbour was the temporary one erected for those who'd flown to the planet and hired a boat from whatever local depot they found. "Yer, welcome kiddo."

 

[MzHyde]

Fia knew he wasn't perfect, that he was far from perfection and still fell into bad flaws if it got bad enough, future Kay being taken was a prime example of that to her. Fia had to try and bust him out of that funk and instead of just joining him on the couch wallowing, she never gave up trying to bring Kay home, even if it meant pleading with this time's John to do fix it. Yet she also knew she was a lot like him in the sense of being incredibly stubborn, closed off when she did get very upset and just walking away. Then she knew she was a lot like him for the good things, her wit, ability to think on the spot to get out of a tough situation, and incredibly caring of those who she does let in. Future Kay saw all of that in the both of them which was why she would always say 'you're definitely your father's daughter'. Fia also knew this current John shebwas with would find it a lot longer to get his head around the fact it could be said and meant as a positive.

She appreciated the fact that he didn't completely let go of her even after she shifted to sit up beside him. She wasn't entirely ready to have her father-daughter moment be over just yet, even if they didn't particularly talk with each other, she just wanted to be with him alone for a change. She smiled softly and nodded when he said 'you're welcome' to her but kept her eyes out at the view in front of her. "quite the view huh?" she told him, just resting her head done on his shoulder in the process. She still had her concerns of who this Dean was in the back of her mind but she tried to shake them off for a while as it would only upset her even more, due to to not being able to figure out who he is or more to the point, what he is. She even had the 'what if' theory of him possibly being demonic in any manner due to how he lied to those demons so casually.

 

[_gallifrog_]

John nodded in agreement, there was no doubting that the island was beautiful from what he'd seen of it. It was one thing that connected all their groups. Cal's apartment roof was the place she and Elliott would sneak up onto as kids in order to be able to practice in private, a place Elliott remembered to this day and the basis for what John considered one of his best pieces of art (along with the rooftop figure in a trench coat (which was based off John, with some artistic liberty added to the coat and hair to give it more flair and drama). Cliff's family home had a view out over various aspects of the island, changing depending on which roof level one was on. And John's building looked over London, while not the most aesthetically pleasing skyline compared to the others it was home and grounding for John (in a way he'd never admit to). It was also the basis for Elliott's 'entrance hall' landscape during a MindWalking. When Elliott was alone the landscape was completely different, but hen he had guests the London sky was a comforting and familiar element in what was otherwise a disconcerting experience.

"It totally is." If John ever did have to retire and lie low, he would seriously consider a place like this, while it was beautiful now, it had taken years of hard graft on the part of Cliff's family ancestors to get it that way and maintain it. Life was challenging on the island, and it hand't escaped John's notice that all five kids were terrifyingly competent and he was putting it down to their upbringing on the island. "It's still pretty weird that these guys can say 'we have a private island' and it doesn't make them sound like the utter tossers on Earth. Maybe I should get Ell to draw this view so there can be an actual matching set of art in the flat for once."

 

[MzHyde]

Having spent those couple of times with Matteo walking the dogs, Fia also knew how scarily competent Cliff and her siblings were on such terrain. It really was a testiment to how they were raised and taught, something that Fia could highly respect, due to her own tough upbringing and training. It was looking out though that something crossed her mind she didn't think ever would. She missed the London skyline, and the familiarity of home. Though she didn't miss it enough to go back to her time just yet. As John said what he did, Fia had to smirk and snigger slightly whilst nodding on his shoulder. "yeah, it's quite the feat to be able to say that whilst staying humble" she agreed. "you should, he'd no doubt enjoy doing it, and you could bribe him by saying it's a moving out present from him to you?" she added, glancing up at him with her signature cheeky smile, even if it was on a much smaller scale compared to normal.
Talking of art, it made her remember how in her timeline how Kay even did a couple of canvas pieces for the apartment, including her room but she wasn't going to tell John that, even though it didn't affect the timeline in the slightest she didn't want to spoil everything and she figured he may guess that Kay would get her art on his walls at some point.

"I wonder how it's going up there... They've been up there for a while now" Kay commented to Elliott and Chas, deciding that if they'd been as long as they have, then John must be doing a good job at being there for Fia. She knew that even though she was gaining a bond between herself and Fia, which was more for Fia's benefit than her own, she knew that Fia was closer to John and if anyone could truly get her out of her tormenting thoughts it would be him.

 

[_gallifrog_]

John knew that once he did get back to Earth one of his new boasts would be 'I went to a wedding on a private island owned by the family of one of the brides' if anybody said anything vaguely related to islands or weddings when he was within earshot. It was an impressive boast, he certainly wasn't going to stay humble about attending, it wasn't his style at all. Some people wouldn't believe him, but that was hardly anything new given that various other things he lied about. John knew he could now talk for ages about Cal and Cliff's without even having to mention that it didn't take place on Earth or that he was invited because he was family. Let people use their own assumptions to fill in the own gaps was a tactic he used to great effect, though he wasn't the only one in their group to do that, Jay, Rinaa and on a few occasions Elliott also did that.

He smirked at Fia's comment, the thought had crossed his mind. "I could, though that kinda does make it sound like I'm replacing him with an art piece. And it's the other way around kiddo" John couldn't resist being nit picky and correcting Fia on this point"you're supposed to give the presents to the people moving out so they can put in their new place." He then chuckled slightly as an amusing thought entered his head, then explained, anticipating that Fia would want to know what he was finding so funny. "When Cal finds out I fully suspect she'll give him one of their numerous broken kettles for the laugh."

At kay's words Chas and Elliott instinctively looked upwards, as if their eyes could penetrate the roof and see what was going on. "It's a good sign if it's taking that long, no doubt on that from me." "They'll come down when they're ready, though if I know John, he'll stay up there for a bit longer anyway just cos he can."

 

[MzHyde]

Unlike John, Fia didn't have the luxury of being able to boast about what she had seen and done in this time with her parents and general family. She would either remember it and not able to say anything or she'd not remember any of it and her memories would just change with the time line when she got back. As for her comment, she knew it was backwards but she said it anyway. She was about to say something back when he started chuckling, making her raise an eyebrow. She let him explain why he got so tickled and she couldn't help but chuckle at the answer he gave. "I could definitely imagine them doing that to him" she replied, finding these stupid little topics really helping to cheer her up. "could imagine them using the excuse of 'it'll give him some DIY to do' in the sense of fix the kettle before he can use it" she added.

Kay nodded at both of their words, getting the feeling it must be going okay, especially as Fia was naturally closer to John than herself, even with the rekindling in progress. "yeah... She's closer to John naturally so I know he'll cheer her up and get through to her. Fia would be the same i'd assume" she said back. There wasn't any jealousy or malice in her words though, she had accepted that Fia drew closer to John and that was fine with her. It wasn't exactly uncommon that daughters became daddy girls and there was no reason for Fia to be any different.