law and order special victims unit aged like gangrene
(probably the worst glow-up in television history).
whereas law and order is a great damn show,
special victims unit is a nightmare to watch.
the offhanded transphobia is just the tip;
the iceberg of poor quality is gigantic.
the show is about terrible sex crime
but reads like bad, cheap smut.
i'd talk about the legal side
but it's just as inaccurate
as their LGBT stories.
it's full of bad cops
(a big tautology)
and bad acting
There’s a pair
with smile-wrinkled noses
at age 20.
and watch movies
til 4 AM
and I sleep on the couch
(wondering what they think of me).
I wonder if this is what it’s like
to have a family
but always remember
(I can never be a part of it).
I don’t have the time to think of a poetic way to say it
but I was thinking about falling asleep next to you
and signing the lease with you
and it was so strangely heartbreaking to hear I wasn’t in your dream
from my mother's sadness, which was,
to me, unbearable, until,
it felt to me
not like what I thought it felt like
to her, and so felt inside myself—like death,
like dying, which I would almost
have rather done, though adding to her sadness
would rather die than do—
but, by sitting still, like what, in fact, it was—
a form of gratitude
which when last it came
drifted like a meadow lit by torches
of cardinal flower, one of whose crimson blooms,
when a hummingbird hovered nearby,
I slipped into my mouth
thereby coaxing the bird
to scrawl on my tongue
its heart's frenzy, its fleet
with whom, with you, dear mother,
I now sing along.
I live in college housing now
and people always ask me
"are you going home
for the holidays" and I
have to stop and think
and say no because
I'm already home
and it's the first home
I've ever really had.
It’s the feeling of walking into a jewelry store
and behind the counter is a monkey in a tie
and nobody else is there.
It’s the feeling of wondering what the monkey will do
(Are they civilized?)
(Did they choose to wear the tie?)
since nobody else is there.
It’s the feeling of seeing a monkey trying her best
to operate a cash register
to keep an inventory
to run the whole shop
because nobody else is there.
It’s not your shop — you don’t work there
— you’ve never seen this monkey before
— you don’t even know how to run a jewelry store —
so you wonder if the monkey is handling it well
since, after all, nobody else is there.
It’s the feeling of being at a family dinner
when you’ve never had a family
and often didn’t have dinner
but now you have both
and it’s wonderful
because the people you love are there.