LawPhilos
In my own world.
I actually wrote it a while ago, but since it's one that I am rather proud of, I thought I share it here. Any criticism about the poem itself or the illustration are more than welcome. Comment below!
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Poetry I wrote a poem.
- Thread starter LawPhilos
- Start date
Hall Kervean
Two Thousand Club
Huh.
That's pretty neat.
Nice job.
That's pretty neat.
Nice job.
SilverSkyWolf
Anime addict
I like it, it's very good
Although I think it flows better if in the brackets you just have (ashamed) rather then (all ashamed) but that's just my opinion.
LawPhilos
Although I think it flows better if in the brackets you just have (ashamed) rather then (all ashamed) but that's just my opinion.
LawPhilos
LawPhilos
In my own world.
I like it, it's very good
Although I think it flows better if in the brackets you just have (ashamed) rather then (all ashamed) but that's just my opinion.
I know what you mean and somewhat agree with you, but that would disturb the rythm of the poem as right now each verse has exactly 12 syllables.
Now you might just say that there is no reason I can't ignore that and have the first be only 11, and if you did, you'd be right, however one of the things I draw the most fufillment out of when writing poetry is coming up with rules and sticking to them. Just my personal preferance, I don't like writing in free verse.
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SilverSkyWolf
Anime addict
You could possibly do
as if mirrors and glass
Instead of
As mirrors and glass
But that might be changing too much...
