Fantasy I Was Fine Until You

[Officer Newt]

Perhaps it was a lot of pressure to put on Gawain. But they had always relied on him. Needed him. It felt like they needed him more then ever now. Gavin frowned at Lance's words. Gaheris had to realize he was loved! Though... Such thoughts were not entirely unfamiliar to Gavin. So perhaps it was not that far fetched. She then murmured softly. "He doesn't have to be isolated, He could live at the castle with me. " Except Gavin probable wouldn't be the best person to keep him company at the moment. Would perhaps be a bad influence. The king likely would recognize that as would Agravain. So thus it was not something likely to happen.

Gavin supposed she wasn't surprised by his lack of friends. He had always been a rather prickly person. His attitude hadn't helped him make any friends. But it also hadn't helped how much Gawain quested. Gawain had been Gaheris's mentor for some time. And well, With Gawain traveling so much Gaheris probable wasn't settled anywhere long enough to truly make many friends. Gavin didn't know how to help with that. Gaheris might not be happy with her setting him up on a little play date. But Gavin didn't have to tell him that was her intentions!

Gavin then murmured. "I've connections to plenty of people. I could see about introducing him to a few young knights and squires. Perhaps something will click? " That only worked though if Gaheris also made a effort to try and make friends. Which might not happen. Gavin though pursed her lips in thought. Perhaps it wasn't that hard though, If she could get Gaheris to go to a event with her. She could make introductions. Ease things up when tension arose. Thus she turned to Lance. Asking curiously. "Do you think I could convince the king to allow me to go to a ball or some sort of party. I'm sure I could get Gaheris to come with easily enough. All I have to say is I'm nervous of going alone without proper protection. " Gaheris was prideful. Would probable love the idea of someone asking for his protection.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Even if Gaheris did move to the castle, he wasn’t as close with his sister as he was with his brothers, due to his job and Gavin did still have her daughter to look after as well so it’s not like he’d be the full focus of her attention. Truth was, there wasnt really an easy solution and they just had to keep trying with him to make sure he didn’t drift away too far. Hopefully spending more time near the castle rather than out on quests would give him a better opportunity to make friends and with his recent kidnapping, people might be more forgiving with him, or Gaheris might be less obnoxious although they were pretty big ifs. Gaheris wasn’t likely to stop being a brat unfortunately, and he knew he was just a kid, a surly teenager but man if he wasn’t good at getting on people’s nerves. Hey, maybe the king could train him in interrogation? Annoy the information out of people!

”im sure he’ll love that” Lance muttered, Gaheris would not take Well to being set up with friends. The ball wasn’t a bad idea though. The ‘protection’ he gave Gavin might make him more manageable, pleased at doing something and having some importance, plus he’d be mixing with people that were likely nobles or close to, Gaheris seemed to have even more of an attitude problem towards those he deemed of a lower station, he’d be very reluctant to become friends with a servant at first. “That’s not a bad idea” he admitted. “might take some convincing but he seems to have a soft spot for you” yeah because otherwise she’d be locked up in a dungeon. She could always say she was trying to gather intel or sway people away from her mother’s side or something. “There any masquerade balls coming up?” He asked, it might be easier for Gaheris to make friends if he didn’t immediately get judged by people know who he was and vice versa but more importantly: “we could go dancing then” he suggested. It was rather public but people would have their faces covered and in fancy clothes, it would be hard to truly recognise anyone completely and it was a little thrilling to think they’d be doing something so scandalous in front of all those people without them knowing it. Yes, he liked that idea very much, but he didn’t know if any such events were planned. Maybe Alexander would put one in motion to celebrate his new heir.

Lance leaned closer to her and went to put a gentle arm around her shoulders. “As long as someone is looking out for him though, I know a lot is going on and I wanted to make sure he wouldn’t slip through the cracks” Gaheris needed his family. “i Hope you don’t mind me saying but it seems like you could do with some support too” he admitted. “I know you’re at odds with Agravain and a lot has happened, it might be good for you to spend more time with Gaheris for your own sake. Family is important, whether they’re annoying or not,“ maybe her mother didn’t count though. “I hope whatever’s going on Between you and Agravain and even Gawain gets resolved” she’d said about not trusting them which was sad, it was alresdy bad enough she couldn’t trust her parents, well parent now. She didn’t need to be isolated like Gaheris as well.

 

[Officer Newt]

Lance seemed to agree with the idea of a party. A masquerade ball? That was a interesting idea that she spend a moment pondering. Only to be startled by Lance's next word. Gosh, Why did he keep making her feel flustered? That was perhaps a dangerous place for them to dance. It would be easy for something to slip. But it did have a certain thrill to it. Gavin didn't seem completely opposed to the idea. "No, But I can have one arranged. " She could pull some strings. Have a friend prepare one. Or speak to the king about it. As Lance said, The man had a soft spot for her.

Lance then was moving closer to her, And Gavin couldn't help but be very aware of it. She didn't flinch though. No, She couldn't help but lean a bit into his touch. It was nice. Gavin then murmured. "I'll always try to take care of my siblings. " She'd do her best to help them. But it felt a difficult task. Lance then moved the topic onto herself. Family was important. But sometimes it felt like they were becoming to broken to repair. Things would never be the same as they were. But... Even if they were, Did they want that? Things were never truly okay. There parents had always lurked in the background.

Gavin then confessed to Lance. "It... Was a long time coming. " Her feelings hadn't just come out of no where. They'd been festering for a while. Things with Caleb, Her arrest, Her fathers death. It all just added to her tipping point. Gavin then murmured. "He looks like dad. Acts like him too a lot. " Gavin saw it often in his behavior and she hated it, Hate him. Gavin then said. "I think he's going to become just like him one day. " That was perhaps cruel to say. But she figured many thought the same, They just didn't voice it. Gavin then murmured. "Gawain's weak, He took care of us. Tried to keep us hidden from our parents. But in the end, He never stood up to them. Or fought them to protect us. His solutions was to try and move on, Forget. " Maybe that wasn't fair to Gawain. Gawain had many reasons not to directly fight there parents. But that didn't change Gavin's feelings. Gavin then shook her head. "Thats what he's tried to do his entire life. Ignore what happened to him. Pretend everything is fine. He can't keep that up, No one can. He just... He looks so tired. "

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gavin seemed to think this fall out had been bound to happen and maybe it had been inevitable but that didn’t mean they couldn’t reconcile, she jut didn’t seem very willing to be honest. It wasn’t really his place to interfere, he knew that, but he didn’t hate them like they hated him And so he wanted to help in what way he could even if Gaheris was annoying and Agravain was a pain. They were a family who was hurting but their distance from each other was only making that hurt worse. And it seemed stubbornness ran in the family because no one wanted to be the one to offer an olive branch, they were all so firm in their belief that they were the one who was right.

Lance hadn’t known Loth that well but had heard the stories, the old ones and the new ones and he did have to admit that Agravain did look similar to the man, as well as share some personality similarities, he wasn’t sure Agravain was as bad as Loth though. Sure he had an anger to him, and he could be violent but he didn’t seem as sadistic as his father, seemed certainly to care more about family. But Gavin seemed to have already condemned him for who she thought he would become. And Gawain wasn’t spared either. He sighed gently. “It’s hard to face your fears” he told her, he didn’t know the full story but he had pieced some together. “How would he have stood up to your parents? He had too much to lose and barely any power“ he pointed out. If he’d tried anything they very well might’ve killed him or hurt the siblings more. He wasn’t saying what Gawain did was right or wrong but she couldn’t expect her brother to be invincible. She stood up to her mother nowadays, but even so didn‘t manage to fully deter her and had she even stood up to her father? He didn’t know.

”he does look tired” he agreed. “And I never realised quite how frail he was until that journey” he admitted. “I should’ve seen it sooner, he was my friend, but I failed him there” and with Gareth. “Maybe he just needs someone to talk to. You all rely so heavily on him, it must be hard for him to show you weakness or that things might not be alright, he wants to put on a strong face for you all so that you’re not worried or scared” he explained. “But, that has left him worn out and alone. Hopefully if he can find someone to share his troubles then he might get better” He didn’t know who that might be though, Gawain didn‘t trust him anymore so it’d have time be someone else. “Try not to be too harsh on Your brothers, they’re people too” he reminded her. “They have flaws, but they spent most of their lives raising you, maybe you’re worried about how they are or how they’ll turn out but anyone can see how much they love you and your siblings” he promised her. “It’s been a stressful time for everyone, making tensions run higher, just try to stay calm in all of it and maybe things will get better” Agravain was stressed because of the baby and Gaheris and Gareth and Gawain, it would understandably make him tetchy, they just needed to wait until the baby was born and maybe Gawain was back and then they might be able to fix things. Gavin didn’t really seem to want things fixed though, hopefully she’d change her mind about that.

 

[Officer Newt]

Gavin looked down, Listening to Lance. Perhaps he was right. But Gavin couldn't help but think he could have done more. He was a knight! But, Gavin herself had not been able to face her fears herself. Gavin couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he had sought out the king. Told him about the abuse. The king had a soft spot for him and might have took action. But Gavin herself had not spoken to the king about things. She planned to keep quiet about it as well. Frail, Yes. Gawain was frail and Gavin feared he might eventually shatter. Thus she shook her head. "Morgan always targeted him out of all of us. I don't know all the details. Gawain never spoke of it. But I've heard rumors. " Servants whispered. Though it was difficult to know what was true. Knowing Morgan? All of them might very well be real.

Gavin didn't think it was possible for her to fix things with Agravain. She'd burnt those bridges. Wasn't sure if she wanted to repair it. She hated him, So why did she miss him so much? Why did she have to see so much of Loth in him? She was quiet though. Lost in thought for the moment. Before she finally glanced towards Lance. Perhaps there was a way she could prove if he was like their father? Murmuring. "I suppose I'll just... Wait and see with Agravain. If he harms Caleb. I'll know. I imagine if he does. It'll only take a year perhaps. " Agravain was known for his temper. Truthfully it surprised Gavin that he hadn't tried to hurt Caleb yet.

Gavin wasn't sure how clear the evidence of such would be. But lets be real, If Agravain ever tried to hurt Caleb. Caleb would probable stab him. Or Melodias would if he caught such. So Gavin might not need to search much. But if Agravain didn't? Well, Gavin didn't know what she'd do. It would prove her wrong. But also, A certain jealousy twisted in her gut. Because it felt like Agravain was leaving her and Gaheris behind. Gavin then asked. "....We all are going to have to talk about what to do about Morgan and... This child she's having. " Because in the end. It was to be their sibling. They protected eachother and Gavin planned to give the same protection to this child. She had a feeling Gawain would agree. "She can't be allowed to keep them. " Gavin didn't want to know what she'd do to the poor kid. But... She wasn't the only enemy. Would the king allow this child to stick around?

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gavin had Probably grown up thinking her big brothers where infallible so it was hard to see them crack and fail and struggle in general. But nobody was perfect and her brothers never had been, she’d just not seen it before. Lance didn’t know what had been done to Gawain, didn’t even want to guess but he figured none of it was good, so Gavin should really cut him some slack, it had to be hard to put on a brave face for your siblings for so long when you were being tortured by your own parents. He wish Gawain would have said something to him, but what would he have done? Even the king might not have done anything, Morgan was tricksy and Loth a war hero, it wouldve Been difficult for people to believe, even now some people still didn’t think Loth to be a monster and well, Morgan was seen as more of a victim now that Loth’s crimes had been somewhat revealed.

Lance’s face hardened as she mentioned Agravain hurting Caleb. Gareth had been worried that might happen and Lance was too, Gareth had put The thought in his head and now Gavin wasn’t helping. He didn’t want Caleb to get hurt, she seemed happy with Agravain as well, but if he was dangerous? Better they find out sooner rather than later. Gavin had no faith in Agravain though it seemed, believed he would harm Caleb and relatively soon, reveal his true self. Lance wasn’t sure what to hope for, he just wanted Caleb to be okay. He had seen bruises on her in the early days but it had seemed that was just them being rough which was okay if a bit alarming. “For Caleb and the baby’s sake, I hope he is not so Much like his father” he murmured, but Caleb wasn’t some damsel in distress, she was a warrior and if Agravain thought he could harm her, he would have to think again.

And Morgan’s child, that was going to be problem, they all knew it. “I’m sure Alexander has some sort of plan” he pointed out. The king would not allow his sister to have control over the baby like she so clearly wanted, he wasn’t sure how much of a say they siblings would get in the matter but their commitment to their unborn sibling was sweet. “Maybe he’ll give the baby to Arthur and send her away?” He suggested. ”I know he’s not experienced and he fell for her tricks once, but he knows she’s dangerous now, he’ll want to keep the baby safe,” it was Arthur’s child, it made sense for him to raise it, although knowing Arthur he’d probably still let Morgan see it, supervised and for short periods of time but she was still the baby’s mother, he imagined Arthur might struggle to cut her out of the child’s life completely. He also didn’t know how easily they’d be able to take the baby from Morgan, she always seemed to have a trick up her sleeve. “At least this child will have all of you looking out for it” more than they’d had in their childhood, all the siblings, the king and Arthur would be trying to keep this baby out of Morgan’s clutches, hopefully she wouldn’t be able to cause any more harm, although that was a big ask really.

 

[Officer Newt]

Gavin frowned, Listening to Lance who seemed to have faith in the king and Arthur. Gavin wasn't completely sure. Arthur knew how terrible Morgan was now. But well, Morgan had seemed to have him under a spell before he left and Gavin feared the same could happen again. As for the king? Well, She had her own worries regarding him. Gavin then murmured. "I think a lot will depend on if Caroline has a child or not. " Because if Caroline had a son? There might be some debate over who would gain the throne. No doubt the king was aware of that. Gavin then glanced towards Lance and confessed. "I'm planning for if the child arrives. But... Truthfully, I doubt it'll survive. " Which perhaps felt bad to say. But it was true enough.

Shaking her head. Gavin then explained. "The last time Morgan had a child, It was stillborn. " She figured this would be much the same. Likely if it was born, She couldn't imagine it being healthy. But they'd just have to wait and see. Speaking of children, Gavin glanced back towards the castle. Though she could not see it well through the leaves. She then murmured. "Have you heard any word about the kings new child? " She asked, Glancing back towards him. She hadn't yet heard any big announcement. Though she expected such would change soon enough. The king was no doubt enjoying time with his wife and new child.

Amusement showed on her face. Humming. "I'm fairly certain Morgan is furious. " Gavin couldn't say she was upset about that. It was nice to see her mother so frustrated. But it was dangerous as well. But the king was smart and would certainly have plenty of guards around. They'd need to make certain Morgan never got close to that child.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Ah Caroline, it tugged on his heart strings to hear that name. He missed her and it made him feel a bit guilty as well, a reminder that he was on a date with someone else rather than her. But he didn’t Think he’d ever be able to take Caroline on a proper date, there were too many eyes on her and it was way too risky. Plus it wasn’t fair, she had a life as future queen to get used to, she couldn’t be mucking around with him. Didn’t stop the love pangs he felt though. It was hard with her gone but it was going to be even harder once she got back, but that wouldn’t be for a while yet, hopefully he’d have a better grip on himself by then.

It really would be for the best if Morgan’s baby didn’t make it. Arthur would be heartbroken but it would solve so many problems; that’s why Lance figured it wouldn’t happen. The universe snd God had gone to all this trouble to make a problem for Arthur and the kingdom, it had to be seen through. But Morgan wasn’t the youngest and seemed to have a history of stillborns so they could hope. It wasn’t the only child they were talking about though. “Only whispers” he said, he’d heard servants talking, they were the only ones that had really been able to get close, besides the medic. “I think I heard it’s a boy, but I’m not sure” he admitted.

”I don’t know what they new baby is called, but I’m sure we’ll have an announcement soon. This new child will be good for the kingdom. It was dangerous having only one heir and if Morgan does manage to sink her claws in deeper to Arthur then the king has another option” he did think that Arthur would not trust Morgan so easily again though, or at least he hoped. ”plus it’s good for Alexander. I think he needed something to cheer him up, after all the trouble with Arthur and the bandits and just well….everything, a new baby and heir will hopefully put him in a good mood for a while” It’d be the best time to request things from Alexander, his high spirits would hopefully make him more willing to grant things. “And I reckon Malia must be missing Arthur, hopefully this new baby will distract her from such sorrow” he knew he’d been thinking about Galahad a lot whilst he was away, but looking after Ruth and his other jobs had kept him occupied. “It’ll be your cousin, maybe the king will get you to babysit what with you being castle bound?” He suggested with a grin, he wasn’t sure how much Malia would trust Gavin but the king clearly wasn’t too wary about her and besides, Gavin claimed she hurt people that deserved it, she wouldn’t hurt an innocent babe, right?

 

[Officer Newt]

It seemed Lance had managed to hear a few rumors. A boy, Well, It would be interesting to see how things ended up. The king would likely make a announcement regarding such things soon enough. So, Gavin focused more on Lance. Before a soft laugh came from her at his next words. "As much as I'd love to babysit. I think Malia would not be so pleased. " The woman didn't like her, Even before all the whole eating people thing came out. Besides, Malia might not want to be away from her new child anytime soon. Gavin then said. "I think Malia believes I am trying to seduce her husband. " And Gavin couldn't help but wrinkle her nose at the idea. It was a gross one. But perhaps Malia simply saw her mother in her? Considering what Morgan had done so far.

Gavin then rolled her eyes. "She's hardly the only woman to think such a thing. But truly, He is my uncle! " Gavin had experienced jealous wives before. She was beautiful and had many a man flirt with her. Even those that were supposed to be faithful to their wives. Not that she entertained them at all. But this felt weirder to her. Truly, If Gavin wanted a man for his power. She could have likely found a prince somewhere to marry. Sure, The king had much. But he already had a son and a wife, And once again, Was her uncle!

Gavin then huffed. "I believe Morgan may be at fault. I heard servants spreading... Rumors, And I'm sure she's the source of them. " Her mother couldn't just leave them alone. No, She had to involve herself in everything. Best not to let this effect them. Showing annoyance would just make Morgan happy. So, Gavin then looked at Lance. Considering things for a moment. She imagined such things might not be so unfamiliar for Lance. Not the uncle thing. But the belief that he was going to steal someones spouse. He had a reputation after all. Probable understood having rumors going on about oneself aswell.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Okay yeah, Lance could imagine Malia wouldn’t be thrilled. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she didn’t like Gavin and that was without the rumours, Malia just didn’t like most people it seemed. He guessed the position of queen did make it somewhat isolating but she wasn’t the friendliest people, wuite the opposite to her son really. He raised an eyebrow at the mention of the rumours. Okay….Alexander would be a good person to seduce but he’d been with Malia for years without a hint of him looking for a replacement, even with her only having given him one child for a long time, why would he start looking for someone else now especially when she’d just produced another heir?

Morgan’s abuse of Arthur had not helped because she was Arthur’s aunt, so Malia may think such relationships ran in the family. “Wouldn’t surprise me” he admitted, servants liked to gossip, well everyone did actually. “but the massive soft spot Alexander has for you doesn’t help” he pointed out. Sure it was likely because she was his niece but not everyone would see it that way once the thought was in their heads. And some people probably suspected she was like her mother so he could see how the rumour was slightly believable. “As long as you don’t actually try to seduce him though you should be fine” Lance insisted. Alexander would continue to protect her and hopefully Malia would calm down, not that she was known for that. “I’ve been accused of such things a few times” he admitted. “they’re not true, I wouldn’t try to break up a couple like that and I respect the sanctity of marriage but it doesn’t stop people talking. Like with Caleb, lots of people thought, still think I’m pretty sure, that I slept with her and I think Gawain thought i was A threat to her and Agravain’s relationship, he was acting sort of funny around me when they were planning the wedding“ Gawain had given him strange looks and there had definitely been some suspicion in his eyes and he wished his old friend had thought better of him but well….he wasn’t a friend anymore so he guessed he didn’t have to worry. And speaking of respecting the sanctity of marriage, it hadn’t stopped him fooling about with Caroline.

”but as long as they just stay rumour things should be okay,“ he said. “Alexander will keep Malia in line and hopefully this thing about me and Caleb will die down too” he murmured. “You know, she’s not even my type” he told Gavin. “I can understand some rumours about me, I know I’ve been in a lot of relationships with a lot of women, but I don’t just chase anyone” he explained. “Caleb is not feminine enough for my tastes” sure she was strong snd feisty, he did like that, but he liked women more….ladylike didn’t feel like the right word but Caleb was just too masculine for him among other things. “I see her more like a little sister than anything else. She’s a good friend but nothing more” and maybe he was mentioning this because he also wanted to put Gavin’s mind at ease in case she had also wondered about such things. “But it still bothers me sometimes when people suggest such a thing, that they’d think so lowly of me, especially my friends. But maybe they know me better than I know me, I have found myself in relationships with a few questionable people” Like Caroline, among others, and now obviously he was on a date with Gavin. “I guess I like what I can’t or am not supposed to have though” he said with a shrug. Even Elaine, her father hadn’t approved And she herself had made him work for it, he enjoyed that though, the way it wasn’t super easy to win their affection and there was some push and pull, kept things exciting.

 

[Officer Newt]

Lance was right, The king was far softer with her then he would be with many others. Perhaps it was due to them being family? Or maybe it was because she was attempting to help deal with her mother. Probable a mixture. But whatever the case it hadn't helped stop any rumors. Ah- It seemed Gavin was right to guess Lance had been accused of such things before. Ah yes, She had heard word about those thinking Caleb had slept around with Lance. Though she had been too focused on her own problems to really delve into the matter. She frowned in thought as she studied Lance. Soon enough deciding he was being truthful.

Seemed Lance did have a type. And Gavin couldn't help but feel a bit amused at his words. Pointing out gently to Lance. "I don't think Caleb even sees herself as a woman. " Gavin would have thought that when Caleb's secret was revealed the woman would have behaved more feminine. Dressed more ladylike. Acted more like a lady. But she hadn't. She still hid herself and Gavin found it strange to think about. But she didn't linger on the thought. Teasingly musing. "Am I something your not supposed to have? " Her tone playful. But well, The two really shouldn't even be on this date.

Gavin then found herself saying. "I think you simply have a reputation due to your dating around. Many in the castle have had their marriages arranged. " She pointed out. Many of the knights came from wealthy families. But even if not. It seemed Lance often was chasing a new love. Gavin figured she herself was only a short fancy. But... It was still nice. Gavin then murmured. "I'm surprised your father allows you the choice." Gavins own marriage had been arranged. Her brother had ensured she was wed to a good man. But if given the option. Gavin was unsure if she would have ever wed.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

He could see what she was saying about Caleb, she’d gone so long as a man that she didn’t seem able to act like a woman, or if she was, certainly didn’t want to. Her father still referred to her as ‘him’ and he didn’t think that was stopping anytime soon, plus he’d seen the way she was uncomfortable with things that proved and highlighted she was a woman, like dresses and her pregnancy. He didn’t think she’d ever act like a proper lady, and he figured Agravain probably didn’t want her to either. He liked the version of her that she was now.

He smiled gently, of course she was something he wasn’t supposed to have. Why else would they be sneaking about? She had endangered his family, and even ignoring that, she was the king’s niece and Gawain’s sister, at least one of those wouldn’t approve of him dating her. ”I think he regrets that decision” he admitted. “He finds my romances tiring sometimes and he was not best pleased when he found out about Galahad but I think my father also knows I would not be content on an arranged marriage. Maybe he would’ve picked someone wonderful, but I would’ve always regretted not finding them for myself, not experiencing all I have. “ he explained. “Plus, I think he knows it’s hard to force me into anything“ Lance would fight such authority if he thought it was wrong.

”I have dated a lot of women, but not with The intention to break their hearts” he told her. ”you might think I’m some sort of womaniser but I promise you I’m not in it to hurt people or take advantage or whatever. I want to find love, I have found love before, but it just Hasn’t worked out.“ He didn’t flit from woman to woman because he just wanted to sleep with them, he did want something meaningful. “Did you date much before your marriage?” he asked curiously, he couldn’t imagine she had too much experience what with who her brothers were and she would’ve been relatively young anyway he figured when she’d gotten married.

 

[Officer Newt]

Gavin listened to Lance curiously. Gavin figured he would have likely resisted any sort of arrangement his father tried to make. Probable would never have been truly happy. But maybe that was the fate for many arrangements. He did want some form of love though. Perhaps one day he'd find it. The question was soon enough directed at her. Causing her to pause before shaking her head. "No, I hadn't dated before. I... My husbands the only man I've had a relationship with. " Gavin explained. This was a bit of uncharted territory for her. Her thoughts then moved towards her husband and things felt a bit tenser at the thought.

Gavin then confessed to Lance. "Truthfully, Me and him never really loved eachother romantically. I mean, We did love eachother. Just not like that. " Gavin still grieved his loss, Missed him dearly. But there relationship had never been romantic. They both knew that, Never really tried to change that. Gavin couldn't help but feel thankful the man had never pushed for such a thing. Gavin then mused. "He... Put up with a lot from me. When we first wed. I didn't know him. I was scared and I lashed out. " She also had missed her siblings dearly and certainly felt alone. Gavin then grinned. "I punched him in the stomach and hid in my room for a week. "

Gawain had made sure she married a good man though. The man knew what she had gone threw. Kept his distance. Something she was glad of. But, Thoughts of the past brought up ones of the future as well. Would she end up marrying again? The king might want her too. That was a scary thought and Gavin hoped she'd be given some choice in the matter. But for the time being she did not need to worry too much about that. She'd certainly have some time before anyone even suggested such a thing.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Huh, Lance was a bit surprised she’d not seemed to have any experience, not even snuck out with the neighbourhood boys? No, that had apparently been more Gwen’s thing. And he hadn’t even been a man she’d loved romantically? Her love life wasn’t sounding too great at the moment but at least she’d had some form of love in her marriage. He would've thought Gawain might want her to know her husband a bit though before they married but it appeared not. He laughed at the anecdote she shared, for her husband to take that lightly then it had likely been reassuring that he was a good man.

”well I’m glad you at least had someone to care for you, and for you to care for” even if he was gone now. “But have you never had romantic interest? You must get flirted with all the time, sureky you’ve had at least a crush? I can understand not pursuing it due to your marriage“ or maybe she’d been too young, “but to never have been truly romantically involved with someone? I find it an odd thought, one I couldn’t imagine for myself since romance is such a big part of my life” he mused. He found it fascinating really, but she was still young, younger than him, and you had to start somewhere so well, here they were.

”you must miss your husband” he said. He‘d no doubt been a big part of her life. “And I imagine its difficult with Gabriel missing her father too” She had not just herself but her daughter to look after. “Have you taken the time to grieve properly? What with your arrest, and looking after your daughter snd everything else, have you taken the time to mourn for yourself?” Or had she been too busy looking after others and dealing with problems and offering advice to the King. She might be sad, but had she truly let herself weep and feel the full force of his loss? “If you….if ever you’d like to talk about him? Or need a Shoulder to cry on? You can come to me” he promised. Maybe this was dangerous territory, talking about her husband and acting familiar but this wasn’t the sort of thing you wanted to have to deal with by yourself. She held up other people, she should have someone to hold her up. ”you don’t always have to be strong for everyone else, sometimes you have to let yourself feel, and if the emotions are too much, and you need someone to help you with them, I’d like to help”

 

[Officer Newt]

Gavin couldn't help but blush a bit over the questioning. It was hard not to feel a bit flustered over the topic of crushes. Gavin then said. "Sure I've been smitten with men before. But... It wasn't ever something I entertained the idea of. " There were men she had found herself attracted to over the years. But she did her best not to allow herself to think about such matters. She was content with her husband- Or well, She had been. Lance's words made her tense slightly and lower her gaze. Waving her hand dismissively. "His death didn't come as a surprise. He... was ill for some time. " But, Just because it wasn't sudden did not make it easier. Gavin did not seem to want to linger on the subject of his death though. That was... A bit too much for her. So she chose to avoid it.

Gavin frowned as Lance spoke. Not seeming to agree. She didn't want to feel, To grieve. Avoiding and staying quiet on such matters was far more familiar to Gavin. But perhaps it ran in the family? Gawain certainly didn't like to let other people share the weight. Gavin thus told Lance. "I've grieved for what I've lost on my own. Its... Easier that way. Better. " Though Lance might not fully agree. This talk was getting dreary. But perhaps Gavin should have expected that. Her and Lance's relationship was rather tense after all. Speaking of tense...

"I'm sorry about almost scratching you. I... Wasn't thinking. " Sure, Gavin wanted to hurt Lance, Sorta. But the scratch had not been intentional. Gavin did not like losing control. She didn't like being scared. She then murmured. "I... I don't normally act like that. I shouldn't act like that. I..." She trailed off. Trying to find some sort of explanation to give. But nothing felt right to say. Thus she fell quiet.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gavin was far more restrained than himself then, Lance chased a lot of his crushes, including the dangerous and treasonous ones. You’d think perhaps he’d be more disciplined being a knight and all but no, he couldn’t help but listen to his heart. He’d never had a lover die though and even If her husband hadn’t been a romantic partner of hers, he imagined it still hurt, left a gaping hole in her world. It was probably why she was here with him tonight, because she was lonely and she just wanted something to fill the void, distract her from her pain for a little while.

She believed in being a lone soldier though, dealing with her struggles by herself and that had Lance concerned, he hoped the grief didn’t swallow her whole. He shook his head at her apology she’d certainly taken him by surprise but he didn’t think she was at fault, she’d just been reacting. “Don’t” he said, refusing her apology. “I was the one at fault, I should’ve known better than to touch you like that” he admitted. “I was overstepping and you frankly deserved to do worse to me” he insisted. “It would’ve been a bold move even to a girl I’d been dating for some time” He shouldn’t have tried it on her but he hadn’t been thinking that much, caught up in the way she made him feel.

”perhaps we should talk about boundaries though” he suggested. “ I don’t want to upset you in such a way again. You seem to like my kisses, but you can tell me anything you want me to steer clear of” he told her. Obviously she didn’t like him being too hands, but where was the exact line? Or maybe she didn’t know. He just figured if this was going to become a regular thing, them going on dates and spending time together, without the shouting that was, then he should know what made her uncomfortable so he could avoid them.

 

[Officer Newt]

Lance seemed to not be upset over her almost attacking him. Which well, Caught her a bit by surprise. Was even asking about her limits. Which gave Gavin some pause. It wasn't exactly a question she was used to. But it was nice. Gavin thus took a few moments to think. Before confessing to Lance. "I don't want anything very... Intimate. I just.. I can't do that. " She wasn't sure if she'd ever reach a point of wanting that. Gavin then glanced away from Lance in thought. Frowning for a moment in thought.

Gavin then said. "Frankly, I'm just not used to this. " Her and her husband had never behaved this close. And well, It was hard to keep old memories from coming to light. Gavin then shook her head and told Lance. "Lets just... Take things slow? " Which felt a little silly considering how quickly everything had happened so far. But it was the best answer she could give.

Gavin then found herself saying. "I don't really understand this. I like this. I shouldn't but I do. " This was a complete betrayal to her siblings. But she liked this closeness. It was easy to talk to Lance. Doing this would just make things harder on herself. She needed to avenge Gareth! But... Such felt like a difficult task. Oh, What would her brothers say if they ever found out? Hate her likely. But her relationship with them already felt a bit in tatters.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Lance nodded in understanding, even without the recent death of her husband and whatever he suspected may have gone on in her past based on her reactions, she was inexperienced and unused to matters of love, plus they were….uneasy around each other, not really sure where they stood with each other yet, so it made sense to take things slow although would certainly be a contrast with Caroline. A change of pace would be nice though he figured, no frantic race to get home or hastily stolen kisses, no this would be nice and relaxed and peaceful.

”I’ve done plenty of things I shouldn’t have, and enjoyed most of them” he replied. “And you don’t always need to understand everything, instead just feel it” he insisted. “I know there is animosity between us, some need for your family to gain Revenge for Gareth but you should actually talk to your brother, he does not hate me like the rest of you, nor does he blame me, even if I still feel guilt over it. I don’t want to get into it and ruin tonight but I think Gareth would want you to be happy, and I don’t think he would hold this against you” maybe Gaheris and Agravain and Gawain would but she didn’t seem to care for her older brothers right now and Gaheris was not really approving of anything.

Lance climbed to his feet and held a hand out for Gavin. “We should probably get you back before anyone checks if your with the king or not” he said, if they were gone too long then things might become suspicious, plus she should also get some sleep if they were going to go riding tomorrow. Hopefully upon his return Caleb didn’t question where and who he’d been with, might give him flashbacks to his father asking the same things when he’d come home late from dates in his youth. No, he’d like to think she would be getting some rest and maybe he should see about bringing Ruth to the castle with him tomorrow so she could ask about her brother. He didn’t know if it’d be wise to leave her on her own though, maybe he could ask Christopher to keep an eye on her if he wasn't too upset about earlier.

 

[Officer Newt]

Gavin frowned as Lance spoke. Uncertain how to take his words. She should have been angry at them. But she couldn't muster such feelings. Lance was right, Gareth seemed to still care for Lance. Wanted him in his life. Perhaps it could be argued Gareth was still a child. Didn't really know what was best. But... Gavin was also aware Gareth didn't have much time left. Perhaps it would be to set thoughts of revenge aside for the time being. If only for Gareth's sake. Lance was then standing up. A signal it was time to leave. The night had gotten late and they could only spend so much time away. So, Hesitantly Gavin took his hand. Standing up and brushing off her dress a bit.

Gavin then glanced once more out to the lake before saying. "Thank you for this... It was nice. " She confessed. Just talking to Lance had been nice. So, Pausing for a moment. She then leaned forward and gently placed a kiss on his cheek. She half considered asking him to walk her to her room. But the castle was not far and she figured it best for them not to be seen together too much. It might raise some questions that Gavin did not feel ready to answer.

Gavin then told. "Goodnight Lancelot. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. " With that she was stepping away from him. Turning to make her way to the castle. Mind still racing. It was hard not to find this all odd. But well, It was also hard to deny the way Lance seemed to make her heart race. Tomorrow would be interesting.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

The night remained pleasant as Gavin chose not to yell at him about Gareth, his words managing not to ignite those flames of anger too much. Her lips were warm against his cheek and he smiled graciously at her, bidding her goodnight and watching her walk back to the castle slightly dazed. Not a lot of people called him by his full adopted name, was Surprised she even knew it but I felt nice off her tongue, not like he was being reprimand if someone like his father was using it. Next time she’d probably leave him speechless by calling him Galahad, although He figured not everyone was aware that was his original name. He set into motion a little while after, he had to make someone aware she was back in her room so she could be guarded again, then he’d see her tomorrow. Oh, he definitely had a bit more bounce in his step now.

Guess who was not quite so lucky in love? Gaheris, of course! Gavin’s visit had cheered him up yesterday and he’d resolved to try and be nicer to Ruth and not solely pursue her with impure intentions. She had seen him at one of his lowest times, she might be a good friend even if she was a slave. He had not spent the day with Ruth though, no, he’d gone to town to try his luck with the ladies there after Agravain had ignored him for most of the morning. Well, whether Agravain had purposely ignited him or not….the man was very focused on his wife And yeah Gaheris had wanted nothing to do with Caleb. So, he had tried inns and the like with no luck, girls either recognised him and steered clear, recognised who his brothers were and inquired about them or well were put off but Gaheris less than polished flirting tactics. He was back at Caleb’s now though and admittedly a bit drunk, it was hard not to be when he’d been at a tavern all day.

He stumbled towards his room, doing his best to keep quiet, he didn’t want a scolding, or an argument with Agravain at this hour and he frankly just wanted to lie down. He quietly successfully managed to keep quiet, muscle memory probably from his quests. He was soon reaching his room and going to enter it. The problem was it was dark and he was drunk, so he stepped in, made his way to the bed, shedding his shirt and trousers as he went clumsily and going to climb into bed. Except, his bed didn’t normally have someone else in it. Gaheris frowned, squinting his eyes in the dark at the warm body next to him. Gareth. He’d gone into Gareth’s room instead, missed his own room by one door. Maybe Gaheris could leave quietly and his brother wouldn’t even notice? Except no, Gaheris reached out a hand and went to poke Gaheris in the cheek, like any good brother would do and repeated poking him for a few more time. “You happy to see me?” Gaheris murmured. “You’ll be pleased to hear I struck out today. No luck with the ladies yet” he muttered although he kept his voice surprisingly light. “Shame I thought today would be my lucky day. But at least I know one person wants me” he said and poked Gareth Again and his drunken state was really showing off his desperately he wanted someone to like him romantically, he didn’t even say about Gareth liking him in disgust, it was almost relief. He laughed “you even managed to get me in bed with you” again and this was a bit more hysterical, the alcohol mixing with his trauma, the numbness of many of his feelings and The numbness of his body from the alcohol, all he could really feel was a dull ache of longing and loneliness and the warmth of Gareth’s body.

 

[Officer Newt]

A drunk Gaheris was never a good thing. But it seemed no one had noticed his entrance. Not even Gareth until he felt him climbing into bed with him. The feeling stirring him awake. But he didn't fully become aware of everything until he felt Gaheris poking him. The mans voice further confirming who he was and Gareth grumbled sleepily. Only to pause as Gaheris continued to speak. Aware now of the smell of alcohol that clung to Gaheris. Worry soon crossed his face before he looked towards Gaheris. Not that he could really see him. His bad eyesight not aided by the darkness in the room. Murmuring. "Gaheris... Your drunk. " He first stated. But that was probable obvious to the both of them.

The man seemed a mess, And frankly, Gareth knew not what to do. It was hard not to wince at the comment regarding the bed. Gareth then started. "I don't... " But he couldn't find any words to say. So instead he reached up to touch Gaheris's hand. A way to hopefully stop his poking. Before saying softly. "Just... Your rooms nearby, Just go to bed Gaheris. We can talk in the morning. " Once Gaheris had sobered up. Gareth had a feeling any words said right now would be wasted. Besides, He wasn't sure if he was ready to confront certain things tonight.

Gareth bit his lip. There were a few things that probable should be said. "I don't want you in my bed. Not like that. That... Its bad. " Gaheris might take that the wrong way. But Gareth didn't want to humor the idea. It would only make things worse in the end. What had happened between them had done damage. Gareth knew that very well and would not open such wounds again. Gaheris could perhaps use someone to talk to about all this. But Gareth knew not who. Gaheris and Agravain were not getting along. Gawain was not back yet. And well, They probable did not want anymore people knowing about what happened. So Gavin was out of the question...

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gaheris wasn’t going to argue he was drunk, he knew he was, didn’t care, it felt nice to not be able to think too much or linger too much, even if he was feeling a bit empty inside, nothing was really sticking, it was a welcome break. He didn’t fight the hand pulling his poking finger away, relishing the warmth of his brother’s touch. It was comforting among all his loneliness, for someone to be soft with him. Agravain would never. “My bed is too far away” he grumbled, he was comfy here now. What was the problem? Well the problem seemed to be that Gareth was trying to reject him.

He narrowed his eyes slightly, not that Gareth would really be able to see. “When has our family ever wanted something good?” He replied, voice turning a bit more sour. “Are you telling me you lied before? About wanting me? When you were crying, because I didn’t want you that way? That you were acting?” He said, prodding him with words rather his fingers this time. “There’s no point lying to me” he told him. “I remember it all, the way you felt and sounded, the look on your face” he insisted, shifting now to straddle Gareth, to look down at him in the darkness, it was hard to see much of anything but he’d like to think Gareth got the sense of his eyes burning into him intently.

Gareth moved his hand back to Gareth’s face, a little less gentle now as he gripped one side of his neck, not exactly rough but not too kind either. “Can’t you just be honest with me? Can’t any of you just be honest with me? Might get you further than you think” and he grinned, too many teeth catching what little light there was in the room. “You‘re supposed to be able to trust a big brother to help get you what you want” he said. “And I won’t let you down like they let me down” voice purposeful and intense before he was leaning down to press his lips against Gareth’s.

 

[Officer Newt]

Gareth couldn't help but tense at Gaheris's words. They were harsh and of moments Gareth tried not to think about. Perhaps he did want something. But not like this. Because he knew very well that Gaheris did not want this. He could remember Gaheris's reaction to everything clearly. But what could he say? It felt hard to find what was right to say, But then Gaheris was ontop of him. Alarms soon going off in Gareth's mind. His words harsh and for a moment. Gareth couldn't help a certain fear that creeped threw him. Gareth thus began. "I-I-" He didn't get far. Lips were soon on his own and Gareth froze up. Not reacting for a couple heartbeats. For the briefest of moments considering returning the kiss.

Then finally he moved. Turning his head away and moving his hand to Gaheris's chest. A attempt to push him back. But Gareth's injuries had left him weak and thus there was not much strength in the push. Gareth then spoke. Firmly. "Gaheris, Get... Get off me. And go to your room. " Gareth didn't know what else to say. This was wrong, It was bad. Gaheris was drunk and Gareth was brought back to that day. The rejection and shame. It was confusing and Gareth tried to rid it from his mind.

Gareth then looked back up to Gaheris. Saying. "I.. I am being honest with you. I don't want this, You don't want this. You don't want me. You are drunk. " He tried to explain. Though he expected Gaheris might not want Gareth saying what he wanted. Gareth thought it was true. Gaheris was drunk. Wasn't thinking clearly. Perhaps it was best to add more of a threat to things. "I will shout for Agravain if you don't leave now. " Though the threat was false. Gareth did not think bringing Agravain into this would do any good. But hopefully Gaheris wouldn't see threw that lie and would actually listen.

 

[British. Intelligence.]

Gaheris didn’t get a romantic response from Gareth, there was no kissing back, but for a while there was no pushing back either and that was almost as good. It wasn’t to last though and Gaheris came back up for air, aided by the weak pushes of Gareth. He was being rejected? Again. Had he not had enough of that today? Could Gareth not just love him for giving him what he wanted! It wasn’t fair, none of it was fair, no one ever appreciated what he gave and no one ever wanted him. Then Gareth was trying to talk for him and that irritated him further. How would Gareth know what he wanted? It’s not like he ever wanted to hang out with him or cared what he thought, no, he was just trying to push him away like everyone else.

The grip he had on Gareth’s neck got a bit tighter in response, reflexive rather than intentional and he loomed Further over his brother at the threat. “You always were a snitch,” he hissed, going to put a hand over Gareth’s mouth. He’d tell on him and Gwen to their brothers, even about what Morgan had done to them, Gareth had been the one to let slip, not him, well Morgan too. “But if you say a single word to Agravain I’ll make you regret it” he threatened. “Stop lying to me and stop talking for me” he growled “you want me, you have to want me. There is nothing wrong with me for you not to want me!” What had put Gareth so off him?

”I’m just trying to be a good to you” he explained, voice Softer now, as if he was doing him a kindness and a favour. “Agravain and Gawain will never look at you that way, would never grant you that wish, even on your death bed and well….” Gareth wasn’t in good shape they all knew that. “I can be bad to you if that’s what you’d prefer” he added and well, what would that entail. Gaheris slowly took his hand away from Gareth’s mouth and went to brush the back of his hand down his face, surprisingly lovingly. “It’s your choice, you can either enjoy the things I have to offer, what I give you willingly, what you should love, or you can suffer through them anyway because I know what you truly want”

 

[Officer Newt]

Gareth couldn't help but squirm as he felt the grip on his neck tighten. It was hard not to. But he was soon unable to speak much as Gaheris covered his mouth. Flinching at the threat. He had a feeling his words were true enough. Even if they weren't Gareth didn't want to test it. He spoke with a certain desperation. As if he needed Gareth to want this. Gareth then looked away as Gaheris kept talking. This was all far to much and Gareth very much did not know how to handle this. He knew very well his feelings would never be returned. Perhaps this wasn't so bad- Except no. Gareth didn't want this like this. Gaheris was hurting and drunk. But Gareth feared what would happen if he rejected Gaheris any further.

Gaheris's words were spoken softly, But a threat clearly laced them. He wanted Gareth to agree to this. He claimed Gareth had a choice in this. But it was obvious he did not. Gaheris was going to do whatever he wanted. Gareth thus whimpered. "Gaheris, There isn't anything wrong with you. I-I just... After... Please. " His mind racing on what to say. What to do. Some sort of excuse. But Gaheris had a temper and he was sure if he said the wrong thing then things would just end up worse.

So, Gareth figured perhaps it best to lay the fault on himself then Gaheris. Squeaking. "After the accident. I- Moving hurts. Anything we do would hurt. " He wasn't sure Gaheris would care much. But perhaps it might help a bit. Gareth then began. "Its not that I don't want you. I... I just can't. " He explained. Explaining this felt wrong. Gareth didn't like this. He didn't like how Gaheris had him trapped. He was restricted in what he could do. Gareth then without thinking confessed. "Your scaring me Gaheris. "