Advice/Help I Suck at Rp Starters. Help?

[lalas181]

So, despite loving to roleplay, I'm beyond abysmal at starting things.

An example of how I try and start forum rps is this (Yes, it's all DC and DC oc stuff. Sorry! I couldn't find anything else more recent off the top of my head that wasn't soaked in Warrior Cats lore.):

The Riddler sat in one of the worn leather chairs in the meeting room, twirling his question mark-tipped cane in boredom. He was silently wracking his brain for any sort of scheme he could pull back in Gotham. So far, he was drawing a blank.

His last plan had been a colossal failure. He had kidnapped the mayor, intent on drowning him. He left a card in the missing mayor's office that read "I am light as a feather, yet no man can hold me for long. What am I?". Apparently Batman had already heard that riddle.

The mayor was found before Ed had even lowered him into the water. Batman had beaten him. Sure, he was able to slip away before he could be sent back to Arkham, but he'd still been bested again. The thin man let out a low, agitated growl. The growl was promptly cut off as he accidentally hit himself in the leg with his cane, and yelped.

"Stupid cane! Stupid Batman! If only I could rid myself of him for good!" He sneered.

or

Davie walked down the hall, his robin's egg blue backpack slung limply over his right shoulder. He'd just been assigned to a new apartment by his overseer. He didn't know why this was happening so long after The Incident, but was excited that it was happening anyway. He liked seeing new places. Even better, the lab assigned someone to live with him. It'd be harder for him to get kidnapped again if he lived with someone, he figured. This was fine by Davie. He liked meeting people, even if he wasn't very good at talking to them.

He came across the apartment door numbered 233. The wiry teen grinned at it, putting his key in and unlocking the door. He turned the handle and stepped through the doorway into his new home. He looked around the living room, shutting the door behind him and releasing a breath he didn't know he had been holding. It looked normal. He went over to the worn, comfy-looking couch and placed his bag onto it. Now all he had to do was find his roommate.

"Hello?" He called out. "Anyone in here? It's Davie Smith, your new roommate?" His pale green eyes flickered around the room, focusing on the hallway.


I'm unsure how else to do things, and was hoping someone here could maybe tell me what I'm doing wrong. I mean, I'd also like to know what I'm doing right so that I can keep doing those things, but fixing how I do starters is more of a priority.

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

The Riddler sat in one of the worn leather chairs in the meeting room, twirling his question mark-tipped cane in boredom. He was silently wracking his brain for any sort of scheme he could pull back in Gotham. So far, he was drawing a blank.

First off, don't ever tell us he's bored. The audience(guests, roleplayers, gm) don't want to be told that Riddler is bored. It's more interesting if his silent actions and body language convey this alone. Maybe a little dialogue that convey irritation, without saying so. This is where having a henchman twitch when the Riddler slams his cane to the floor, causing him to quake and withdraw ever so slightly, before readjusting his posture; would do so much more justice to your opening post and your character.

In this scenario I just described, neither the Riddler nor the henchmen directly conveyed their feelings, nor did I as the author. Using the cane as a focal point I gave you a scenario where the erratic Riddler could strike fear into his men just by ceasing the twirling of his cane. The gaurds reaction, implies this has been done before and could result in punishment. There's no indication of him thinking it, other than his reflexive withdrawl. Which could be emphasized in how his limbs may have moved or perhaps the way he shifts his torso. Does he pull to the side while his arm covers his chest with a tightly balled fist?

It is things of this nature that can take your first line of writing and expand upon it into a two or three paragraph undertaking that does more to convey the Riddler's frustration and or boredom, than you telling us he's bored. Moreover and to the point, I would like to point out that your opening scenario is in fact more of a microsummary of events. Which can help to perhaps given context to a character, but then you spend spend an equal amount of time developing their actual actions to give the character life. So if you wrote 16 lines(just a random number) telling us the events of his last failed plot, then I expect 16+ lines describing his demeanor as he's cooking up another plot.

Starting a new thing isn't hard. It's the fact that you're writing summaries of stuff as opposed to playing the role of an angry, but crazy riddler, who is obsessed with trying to outwit his opponents. Spend time developing that obsession with your opening post as opposed to telling us about his day.

 

[lalas181]

Alright, I think I might get what you're saying. I'm not quite sure, however, how exactly to do what it is you're saying I should. I guess I'm kind of a fail rper in that way, but I'm not sure how to develop emotions, or precisely what that even actually means. In the starter you commented on, part of the thing (that I guess I really, really didn't convey well) is that Riddler doesn't have the slightest inkling of a next plan. That in and of itself is sorta out-of-line with his usual characterization though, I suppose. He's not sure what to try next because he's done or at least tried to do everything he'd already had in his brain's "Evil Schemes" folder. Now that I think of it, I suck even more at this than I thought. There's nothing there to convey that idea except for the dialogue, and even that sounds more like general frustration at Batman foiling his plans than anything else.

Crap, man. Looks like I need help with more than just starters.

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Alright, I think I might get what you're saying. I'm not quite sure, however, how exactly to do what it is you're saying I should. I guess I'm kind of a fail rper in that way, but I'm not sure how to develop emotions, or precisely what that even actually means. In the starter you commented on, part of the thing (that I guess I really, really didn't convey well) is that Riddler doesn't have the slightest inkling of a next plan. That in and of itself is sorta out-of-line with his usual characterization though, I suppose. He's not sure what to try next because he's done or at least tried to do everything he'd already had in his brain's "Evil Schemes" folder. Now that I think of it, I suck even more at this than I thought. There's nothing there to convey that idea except for the dialogue, and even that sounds more like general frustration at Batman foiling his plans than anything else.

Crap, man. Looks like I need help with more than just starters.

Right there, you just did figured out what you need to do. You understood that your post was a summary, but didn't convey these characteristics(A man who always sure of himself. Who always has a plan). It's a start for sure. And an easier way of to convey what I'm saying is, " Show don't tell". More to the point, it can be broken down(at least in my style of writing) as lacing every action with a hidden meaning. The joker in my example slammed the cane to the floor, but I didn't tell you what the meaning was. Had he called his henchover with a gesture of the hand and said, " Is x done", before exploding and stomping his head into the ground. Your audience will see, getting his dry cleaning wasn't the issue. It was the fact that he's stumped and wracking his mind on how to move next.

And another point to add, don't be afraid to develop the surroundings. Perhaps his slumped in a chair, with crumpled papers scattered across the floor. Scratching his head or biting his nails with a scowl etched upon his face. The mere mechanical clicking of his office door, enough to send his hairs on edge and frighten anyone who comes through that door. Weaving the environment and his own body language into the post, will convey even more about him. You probably dont even need the nail biting if he has crumbled papers strewn about. Any fan of DC would pick up on that as being a character who has gone through their ideas countless times and has tossed many more aside than they'd like to admit.

Again, it's all about the hidden meaning. A crumpled paper is a crumpled piece of paper. But in this context it's the expression of a man at wit's end.

Also don't be hard on yourself. This is something I struggle with myself. It's easier for me as an outsider to give suggestions, than it is for me to produce the very things I'm espousing. Plus it being the Riddler already gives me a framework to work with.

 

[lalas181]

Right there, you just did figured out what you need to do. You understood that your post was a summary, but didn't convey these characteristics(A man who always sure of himself. Who always has a plan). It's a start for sure. And an easier way of to convey what I'm saying is, " Show don't tell". More to the point, it can be broken down(at least in my style of writing) as lacing every action with a hidden meaning. The joker in my example slammed the cane to the floor, but I didn't tell you what the meaning was. Had he called his hench over with a gesture of the hand and said, " Is x done", before exploding and stomping his head into the ground. Your audience will see, getting his dry cleaning wasn't the issue. It was the fact that he's stumped and wracking his mind on how to move next.

And another point to add, don't be afraid to develop the surroundings. Perhaps his slumped in a chair, with crumpled papers scattered across the floor. Scratching his head or biting his nails with a scowl etched upon his face. The mere mechanical clicking of his office door, enough to send his hairs on edge and frighten anyone who comes through that door. Weaving the environment and his own body language into the post, will convey even more about him. You probably dont even need the nail biting if he has crumbled papers strewn about. Any fan of DC would pick up on that as being a character who has gone through their ideas countless times and has tossed many more aside than they'd like to admit.

Again, it's all about the hidden meaning. A crumpled paper is a crumpled piece of paper. But in this context it's the expression of a man at wit's end.

Also don't be hard on yourself. This is something I struggle with myself. It's easier for me as an outsider to give suggestions, than it is for me to produce the very things I'm espousing. Plus it being the Riddler already gives me a framework to work with.

Thanks a million, Bacon. I understand much better now. Let's just hope that I'll be able to put this into practice with any measure of okayness.

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Thanks a million, Bacon. I understand much better now. Let's just hope that I'll be able to put this into practice with any measure of okayness.

I'm glad you could take something away from this. Good luck in your rp endeavors. And again, just focus on having fun. :3

 

[Idea]

Alright, so before we get into your starters, let's first talk about it in more general terms. What does a good starter need?

Note: I am assuming we are talking group RPs here, cause otherwise the answer is just "introduce your character, the plot, and the setting, then get the premise rolling." Simple list, simple feat. You don't need to be particularly impressive so long as you are competent in 1x1 (depending on the partner of course).

.

1.Set the Scene

We can start right up with the most intuitive part. What everyone knows is that your starter needs to establish in what context everyone is supposed to be operating. Is there some big lore event? Is the new school day starting? Has someone important just been mysteriously murdered? These kinds of set ups are the basic components of your roleplay.

Now, obvious though it might be, the kind of extention on the scene is what a lot of people get wrong. Often people opt for style and for setting up mysteries, which don't get me wrong are important elements of a starter, but I'll get to that later. Rather, cutting the context on "what is the latest buzz" is only a proper starter is the setting is fully fleshed out or unecessary, both rare cases. Without this being established, characters are in a vaccum and you force players to improvise setting details when they should be focused on establishing characters and getting them involved in the story.

So, your starter needs to set the scene by:
-showing what the context for the plot is
-establishing a baseline setting or mandatory one that is fleshed out enough that players can navigate it without having to make up the environment entirely
-provide players a landline to the plot, a means to get their characters involved in the plot and/or with the other characters quickly. Make sure you do this by a means that of an incentive for characters to interact, not by means of letting people loose on a relatively void place (as roleplays will often just die out if players are left with nothing proactive to do)

2."Why Should I Care?" Answer?...

The second thing to establish with your starter is why should anyone care. What's at stake, what's the drive? Now the good news is, if you made your interest check competently your players should already be hooked by the premise sold in it. So now your goal is to make clear why their characters, as individuals, should care. If any one character just doesn't have a reason to care you might as well consider that a player loss. As a GM you should always try to keep track of at least a general understanding of eveyr player's character, so as to be able to properly develop things into involving them. Of course though, don't be afraid to check the CSs again if you need a reminder, nothing wrong with that.

This is also where that mystery comes in. The mysteries are often created with an attempt to make players want to solve the mystery. It's a good more or less surefire extra layer of hook for the players, but there's only so long you can stare at a closed box before you stop caring about what's inside, and only so much hype before you sure it's a box full of rice that they are trying to scam you into buying. Focus primarily on giving people the main reason they came for.

3.Set the Expectations

Your starter post is effectively your last chance to tell your players the truth. What I mean by that is that players will come expecting a certain kind of RP following your interest check and OOC content. Their characters too will lead to certain expectations. Your starter post does not need to meet these expectations. It does, however, have to set up what players can expect in future content of the RP. If your starter post is whimsical and comedic then players will tend to assume that whimsical and comedic is the tone the story is supposed to go for. If your first post focuses on a murder, players will be expecting that to be important. If your first post is small, you can't expect players to treat your RP like a detailed RP. Stuff like that.

4.Create Direction

Lastly, direction. Now, direction is one of those concepts that's harder to properly define, but I find to be quite crucial. It's essentially the direction where things are supposed to head, the pull of the story in a certain direction (hence the name). Without direction your story will see little movement and a lot of dispersion.


Alright, now let's see how your starters hold up to these...

The Riddler sat in one of the worn leather chairs in the meeting room, twirling his question mark-tipped cane in boredom. He was silently wracking his brain for any sort of scheme he could pull back in Gotham. So far, he was drawing a blank.

His last plan had been a colossal failure. He had kidnapped the mayor, intent on drowning him. He left a card in the missing mayor's office that read "I am light as a feather, yet no man can hold me for long. What am I?". Apparently Batman had already heard that riddle.

The mayor was found before Ed had even lowered him into the water. Batman had beaten him. Sure, he was able to slip away before he could be sent back to Arkham, but he'd still been bested again. The thin man let out a low, agitated growl. The growl was promptly cut off as he accidentally hit himself in the leg with his cane, and yelped.

"Stupid cane! Stupid Batman! If only I could rid myself of him for good!" He sneered.

This is a pretty short post depicting what could be a read from a comic. We start in media res with no idea what the stakes are and an immediate unsatisfying resolution. I can't even quite tell which character is supposed to be the real focus, Enigma (I think that's his name, right?) or Batman.

This starter doesn't really prompt anything in the roleplay. If I was a player I would be completely lost on where to even start, and if I did know then I would be acting completely independently from any overarching story, something you can't really expect players to keep up.

Davie walked down the hall, his robin's egg blue backpack slung limply over his right shoulder. He'd just been assigned to a new apartment by his overseer. He didn't know why this was happening so long after The Incident, but was excited that it was happening anyway. He liked seeing new places. Even better, the lab assigned someone to live with him. It'd be harder for him to get kidnapped again if he lived with someone, he figured. This was fine by Davie. He liked meeting people, even if he wasn't very good at talking to them.

He came across the apartment door numbered 233. The wiry teen grinned at it, putting his key in and unlocking the door. He turned the handle and stepped through the doorway into his new home. He looked around the living room, shutting the door behind him and releasing a breath he didn't know he had been holding. It looked normal. He went over to the worn, comfy-looking couch and placed his bag onto it. Now all he had to do was find his roommate.

"Hello?" He called out. "Anyone in here? It's Davie Smith, your new roommate?" His pale green eyes flickered around the room, focusing on the hallway.

This one works better, as it prompts a cue in which people can come in, and sets up a bit of the mystery and direction. Not perfect by means, and it feels very 1x1-ish, which leads me to wonder if I should've maybe asked whether this was for group or 1x1 first...

oops...

anyway, I hope you find this useful. Good luck and happy RPing!