Character Theory How/Why Do You Write Romance?

[rae2nerdy]

So as someone who does a lot of 1x1 roleplays a big part of that sub-genre is romance or pairing based roleplays.

And people seem to have different styles and reasoning for choosing romance and I've always been curious on how/why do you write romance?

From an outside perspective romance writing seems to fall into three categories

• Character Based - this romance is based on character compatibility in universe
• Story Based - this romance exists solely as a way to fullfill plot roles
• Fantasy - where one or both of the players have a fantasy revolving around a character/character type that they need someone else to help them create.

So where would you say you fall in the categories of writing? Do you think there are more?

Also how do you write your romance? Do you use tropes, borrow from television, use your real life experiences?


Disclaimer : As always try to keep things on task and civil. I don't want to see anyone getting called out in the thread nor do I want to see random tangents unrelated to the topic at hand.

 

[Tarmagon]

I think you left out a category. Accidental. The characters weren't created with the explicit idea of romance, they were just created to fill the needs of the RP. As the RP goes on, things just fall into place. The RP will proceed whether or not the characters wind up attached romantically, it just kind of happened as the writers got more and more comfortable in their characters. I personally won't join an RP that says romance required. If it happens, it happens, but the way I write my character is going to be based on the needs of the RP and how I see the character, not to feed a need for romance. It's not something that can be forced.

Just my two cents worth.

 

[Birdsie]

I think that compassionate love can be a great thing to include in a story, but unrequited love is even better.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I think you left out a category. Accidental. The characters weren't created with the explicit idea of romance, they were just created to fill the needs of the RP. As the RP goes on, things just fall into place. The RP will proceed whether or not the characters wind up attached romantically, it just kind of happened as the writers got more and more comfortable in their characters. I personally won't join an RP that says romance required. If it happens, it happens, but the way I write my character is going to be based on the needs of the RP and how I see the character, not to feed a need for romance. It's not something that can be forced.

Just my two cents worth.

Forgive me I don't think I was clear. What your describing is a Character based Romance.

When I say a character is created to compliment another I mean that specifically in the 1x1 sense. Where you're focusing on two basic protagonists and them complimenting one another just means that their interactions are the main thing moving the story forward.

So in this case if a romance occurs it is because the two characters are actually compatible in a romantic sense. So they would realistically get together in universe purely based on actually liking one another.


This is contrasted with the Story Based Romance where in characters are put together because that is what is in the plot. The clearest example of this is Pairing Based roleplays. Where you start of with the pairing of Character A and Character B and you build the plot around that.

So therefore the characters are usually put in a relationship not because they have any real compatibility but because again you are taking either A or B and playing the role necessary for the plot.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I think that compassionate love can be a great thing to include in a story, but unrequited love is even better.

And how would you write that? Would you consider that to be a Character Based romance ( fueled by character compatibility ) or a Story Based romance ( fueled by plot roles ) ?

 

[Tarmagon]

Forgive me I don't think I was clear. What your describing is a Character based Romance.

When I say a character is created to compliment another I mean that specifically in the 1x1 sense. Where you're focusing on two basic protagonists and them complimenting one another just means that their interactions are the main thing moving the story forward.

So in this case if a romance occurs it is because the two characters are actually compatible in a romantic sense. So they would realistically get together in universe purely based on actually liking one another.


This is contrasted with the Story Based Romance where in characters are put together because that is what is in the plot. The clearest example of this is Pairing Based roleplays. Where you start of with the pairing of Character A and Character B and you build the plot around that.

So therefore the characters are usually put in a relationship not because they have any real compatibility but because again you are taking either A or B and playing the role necessary for the plot.

Hmm. You specified that the characters were created to compliment each other and put together for romance. In my example, the characters are not created directly to compliment each other. In a one on one, the characters may be totally at odds, not complimenting each other directly, but the RP as a whole. And they were not put together for romance. So, while romance MAY develop, neither the RP nor the characters were created for that purpose, ie it happened accidentally. While it is character driven, it was not intended.

I suppose it is all a matter of perspective in the end.

 

[Birdsie]

And how would you write that? Would you consider that to be a Character Based romance ( fueled by character compatibility ) or a Story Based romance ( fueled by plot roles ) ?

Honestly, I believe romance in RP mediums is highly limited. Little players are willing to cooperate and share ideas enough to accomplish something like this, but it's possible with plot roles. Then again, using plot roles seems synthetic and artificial when compared to true character compatibility. It's hard to do romance in a RP. I rather do it in Quests if the players agree on it.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Hmm. You specified that the characters were created to compliment each other and put together for romance. In my example, the characters are not created directly to compliment each other. In a one on one, the characters may be totally at odds, not complimenting each other directly, but the RP as a whole. And they were not put together for romance. So, while romance MAY develop, neither the RP nor the characters were created for that purpose, ie it happened accidentally. While it is character driven, it was not intended.

I suppose it is all a matter of perspective in the end.

lol which is why I said I wasn't clear. I did not intend to indicate the characters were created to compliment each other FOR romance.

For example - If I made X character specifically to be Y character's boyfriend/girlfriend that is not Character Based Romance. Even if I design Character X specifically to appeal to Character Y based on CS or player input.

Instead what I mean are characters who compliment each other THEN get put together in romance.

For example - Character X and Character Y grow close over the course of the plot and develop feelings for one another after which their players put them together.

Essentially we're describing the same thing. Character Based just means the romance exists because the characters are compatible not because it is necessary or built into the plot.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Honestly, I believe romance in RP mediums is highly limited. Little players are willing to cooperate and share ideas enough to accomplish something like this, but it's possible with plot roles. Then again, using plot roles seems synthetic and artificial when compared to true character compatibility. It's hard to do romance in a RP. I rather do it in Quests if the players agree on it.

Okay how would you do it though? Would you show unrequited love or compassionate love? How do you define those two things?

 

[Birdsie]

Okay how would you do it though? Would you show unrequited love or compassionate love? How do you define those two things?

How do I define them? Isn't it in the name?

Compassionate Love: Both characters are kind to each other and love each other; nurture and take care of each other.
Unrequited Love: One character loves another, but the feeling isn't returned; creating tension and conflict between the two.

 

[rae2nerdy]

How do I define them? Isn't it in the name?

Compassionate Love: Both characters are kind to each other and love each other; nurture and take care of each other.
Unrequited Love: One character loves another, but the feeling isn't returned; creating tension and conflict between the two.

Not necessarily people define things differently based on their own ideals about romance. Admittedly unrequited love does have a more standard universal definition but I have never heard of Compassionate Love prior to this.

And I was asking specifically how would you define them in a roleplay? How would you show these relationships between characters?

 

[Birdsie]

Not necessarily people define things differently based on their own ideals about romance. Admittedly unrequited love does have a more standard universal definition but I have never heard of Compassionate Love prior to this.

And I was asking specifically how would you define them in a roleplay? How would you show these relationships between characters?

I'm not sure what you mean by define them in a roleplay.

Show not tell is my motto. It's as simple as roleplaying certain interactions in certain ways.

It's quite obvious that a pair of woman and man that kiss each other every now and then, or hold hands are together. It's obvious that if they care for each other that they are also compassionate toward each other.

It's quite obvious that if a man tells a woman he loves her, but she doesn't love him back, it's unrequited love. This can lead the man to some kind of angst, or other forms of insecurity, which pushes toward character development.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I'm not sure what you mean by define them in a roleplay.

Show not tell is my motto. It's as simple as roleplaying certain interactions in certain ways.

It's quite obvious that a pair of woman and man that kiss each other every now and then, or hold hands are together. It's obvious that if they care for each other that they are also compassionate toward each other.

It's quite obvious that if a man tells a woman he loves her, but she doesn't love him back, it's unrequited love. This can lead the man to some kind of angst, or other forms of insecurity, which pushes toward character development.

I mean when you set out to add a compassionate romance how do you include it? Do you tell your partner - hey I'd like to have XX kind of romance and this is how I want it portrayed?

Do you just write your own character doing such things to someone else's character and see if they ( the character ) reciprocate?

 

[Birdsie]

I mean when you set out to add a compassionate romance how do you include it? Do you tell your partner - hey I'd like to have XX kind of romance and this is how I want it portrayed?

Do you just write your own character doing such things to someone else's character and see if they ( the character ) reciprocate?

It's hard-to-impossible to do something like that in Roleplay.

The problem with the first idea is that it would require amazing coordination between the players, or creating the characters specifically for the purpose of romance, which means they are no longer characters but story devices. It needs input and work to have people work together like that.

The second method's problem is that characters don't necessarily have to be compatible, but overall, it is much better than the first one because it is less artificial and synthetic.

 

[rae2nerdy]

It's hard-to-impossible to do something like that in Roleplay.

The problem with the first idea is that it would require amazing coordination between the players, or creating the characters specifically for the purpose of romance, which means they are no longer characters but story devices. It needs input and work to have people work together like that.

The second method's problem is that characters don't necessarily have to be compatible, but overall, it is much better than the first one because it is less artificial and synthetic.

You misunderstand I am asking how do you personally add romance into your own specific roleplays? How do you indicate to your partner you want to do a compassionate romance or a unrequited romance?

 

[SandraDeelightful]

I like story based romance. Romance is one of my favorite things, and I just enjoy playing it out. My favorite type is in an arranged marriage setting.

 

[Idea]

I think the only one which I really don't do is the character type romance, according to your categories, This is mostly due to the fact that I am a planner by nature and so the more spontaneous or puzzle fitting aspect or the "getting a feel" for how matching the characters are... none of that makes much sense to me. Not that it doesn't make any sense at all, it just doesn't personally connect in my head.

In either case though, it's a bit of an afterhtought for me half the time. However, when it isn't, romance will depend on how cooperative my partner is.If they are very cooperative, then I will work on the romance by scenes, setting up scenarios with premise and final but a middle left open to flesh out. When my partners are not cooperative, I have to take a much more reserved approach and rely on foreshadowing or strong evident characterization to respectively hint at ways to progress the romance or to make it obvious how to get closer to my character at a surface level. My characters are built as people which implies for me that they need the romance to develop organically over time and with people who will resonate not by who they are, but with what they do, and how that affects my character on a deeply emotional level in regards to their personality, backstory and situation.

That said, most of my characters are just not built for romance, as I am a big fan of using child characters or animal characters (in certain types of roleplay, not say, strictly animal roleplays), yet since I am usually the only one that does this I don't fit in with having romance, albeit I certainly love to aid other characters get on that ship.

 

[Tarmagon]

Ahh, I think I get your question a little better now. So, how would I write it? Depends on the RP and situation. My current one on one has a maybe factor in it, but nothing concrete. Both characters have difficulties due to their pasts. It's currently at the internal dialogue stage with small external gestures. For example.

Seeing his reflection in the mirror, Kyle realized he still hadn't changed his ears back to normal. Why had he forgotten something so basic?
"Because Esme likes them," he thought to himself. "And you want to see her happy."

Internal realization that someone's opinion is starting to matter is always a good place to start. In the next scene he simply set an alarm to wake up before her to have her morning coffee waiting for her. Just like the real world, start slowly. Look for reciprocation. Since you're using internal dialogue, you're giving your partner a chance to accept the possibility or reject it. Just as in real life, accept your partners decision.

 

[Birdsie]

You misunderstand I am asking how do you personally add romance into your own specific roleplays? How do you indicate to your partner you want to do a compassionate romance or a unrequited romance?

As I just said. There is NO good way to indicate you want to add romance. It's something that should happen between characters on its own. The problem is that genuine romance is hard to come across in RP because either character chemistry is wrong or the other player prefers not to etc.

 

[QuirkyAngel]

I'm mainly character-based(according to your definition), though I've done story-based romance when I started out. I've rped as the James to a Lily in a Harry Potter rp, the Charming to a Cinderella spin-off, and the Edward to someone's blind oc.

I've got no real experience in romance, so I go off based on my imagination that's likely influenced by media. Lots of internal monologue about love interest, the blush, awkward reasons to hang out with said character, etc. I can't say I do anything special.

I generally do romance usually when it adds flavor to an rp, it's another player's request, or it's a story-based romance that I got hooked into joining with a semi-decent plot. It's pretty rare that my characters initiate a romantic relationship, though if it does happen, it's for character development purposes. Who your character chooses to end up with can say a lot about their character...possibly even more than a thousand words of internal monologue. Plus ships are cute^^

 

[Bang Bang]

as a horny teen hip young thing I used to RP romance and only romance. Coming back to RPing as an adult, I naturally dove back in there and expected to get the same kick out of it. Instead... kind of found myself feeling flat, bored, and put off. Romance often seems to come at the cost of realism/plot/character, or so it seems now I'm returning with fresh eyes. Or perhaps I'm just jaded.

Answering for younger me, it's to get to play out such intense human connections, and the idea of having 'guarenteed' positive relationships and interactions for the character I created (younger me could not handle cruelty against their lil beans, where as modern day me actively encourages people to loathe and assassinate my gremlin children).

I still like romance in among bigger plots, but now that I have IRL experience, it's rather disenchanted me to the whole affair. So my answer would be: folks do it to explore what society romanticises, glorifies, and holds as the 'be all and end all' that they may not yet have become bitter old fucks about

 

[Flowiest D]

Never particularly made a character of mine pursue another, will do so when one of said characters gets a crush/falls for another aha, I’m not a fan of making a character for the sole purpose of romance.

 

[AngelicSavant]

Imo, the best RP romances come from a combination of all three elements. From the start of an RP when all I have is an overarching plot and character sheets, I can pretty much pick out the most likely matches for my character(s). Sometimes an unlikely connection pops up, but it's very rare. Besides that, most (not all) RPers I've seen are very weak romance writers. Romance should be deeper than random flirting and blushing. That's a crush/basic attraction.

The way I write RP romance is generally this:

Assess the writing skill of the potential romance partner (intro post impressions are important)
Determine whether said romance will help individual character development
See how this romance could fit with the flow of the plot

I know it seems like a lot, but this whole process should only take reading their CS and a few minutes of thought. Then just PM them with the basic idea and see if they're interested in building it. Most RP romances are stronger and more believable if two characters have an established history before the point where the RP begins. So usually I like to come up with a rough outline with the other player before the story progresses too far. As far as inspiration... I hate to say it, but thus far, real-life romance hasn't lived up to the standard set by media. I'm big on tropes but I don't go out of my way to use any.

 

[vxios]

i'd say i'm a character based romance rper, typically the characters will interact and start out as friends (maybe have a plotted history together of some sort) for a few interactions or so. then, if the characters have chemistry and i have good writing chemistry with the other participant and like their writing style, i pretty much instantly fall in love with the pairing and then i just have to Pray to the Gods that the other person will be interested too and message them about it. if not, no biggie and i'll get over it, but if they are, then it is Full On Winds at the Sails Plots Galore.

if i had to analyze why, i think i roleplay romance just because i am naturally a bit of a 'normal'(?) person. by which i mean, i love the mainstream, the tropes and the cliches, and that includes romance. 'glorified' romance never really bothered me (aside from obvious exceptions, for example when an unhealthy relationship is romanticized in a family movie or something like that, because i think those kind of messages can be damaging to impressionable younger kids). my mindset is, why shouldn't love be celebrated? maybe i'm just sappy or overly optimistic although i don't think that's entirely the case considering i love darker rps as much as the next guy, but it makes the roleplay more interesting to me usually, and there's just lots of potential plots / AUs from there too. not that you couldn't do that with a non-romantic pairing, but typically people are more open to discussing AUs and what not with you if you have a ship together. so maybe i just use it as a gateway for more RP to take place LOL. so yeah, i like having love interests for my characters, it's a preference for me i'll admit (with only a tiny bit of shame), maybe a bit more than most people do according to this thread so far? idk, it's fun

 

[battedenuit]

My..
i suppose i write romance because it's deep down something i yearn for, but will never have? I like to give my characters that i write/write with the appreciation and affection that i've never gotten, because not only does it satisfy (to a point) in a way what i lack but as well they get the appreciation and love that they darn well deserve. Plus i like to see how it pans out with my roleplay partners because it's always different and new with each on of them. Some we seem to incorporate angst, others it's pure vanilla bliss, and others its something completely different. I suppose in a way i believe everyone, fictional or not; deserves love.