Humor How to pick up girls/guys works 100% of the time

[Sunstone]

it's super simple, just ask your the target this question.
"Wagwan piffting wots ur uber discount code"

 

[Simple]

You called?

Is this the way I can 100% seduce you? :-)

 

[Hall Kervean]

Color me seduced.

 

[PretzelR]

It's easy to pick up girls and boys. Heh, I'm a brofessional at this.

Whenever you would pick up girls or boys just remember this... You don't flirt to woo them (at least not yet), you need to get in their good side first. Make sure your flirts can be classified as a smooth joke and most of them time you might get punched in the shoulder so good luck with that.

 

[Simple]

I can confirm that the easiest way to seduce me is to drive me places and feed me, this advice works perfectly.

 

[Sunstone]

I can confirm that the easiest way to seduce me is to drive me places and feed me, this advice works perfectly.

Wagwan piffting wanna share uber discount codes?

 

[Communist]

This.

 

[Elucid]

"Yes , your right that is my wallet and yes it's is filled with monopoly money"

 

[Communist]

"I got a bucket of chicken, wanna do it?"

 

[Corrosion]

"Ayy bby, u want sum fuk?"

 

[Saccharine Cyanide]

1. Bend your knees slightly
2. Put your arms firmly around their waist
3. Slowly extend your knees while keeping your back straight

Congratulations, you've just picked up a guy or a girl. : D

 

[welian]

I prefer the fireman carry.

 

[Axel The Englishman]

welian

You mean when you put them over your shoulder. That may look like an abduction to anybody passing by.

 

[welian]

Its a fantasy of mine. A big strong alien to take me off this planet...

 

[Axel The Englishman]

Yep. Definitely an abduction.

 

[billthesomething]

i call my style of Seduction The Pepe Le Pew

 

[Zombocalypse]

I used to kiss girls' hands. It worked. lol

 

[AThiefOfSpades]

Walk up, through your arm around shoulder, shout "dibs" lol

 

[The Gunrunner]

 

[kibou]

Some wonderful flirting ideas from my co-worker:

*Slap them in the face
*Slap their phone out of their hands
*Joke about how ugly they are, and then ask them out to prom
*Slap them in the mouth
*Tell them how nice accidentally touching their ass was
*Slap them in the kidneys
*Ask them about their sexual history
*Slap them with food
*Find out where their house is
*Just keep slapping them

It's guaranteed 100% to get you a gf/bf and if they tell you they're going to break your nose it's their way of playfully flirting back. Although some may play hard to get (yelling at you to fuck off, avoiding you completely, not responding to your comments) you just gotta have faith in the method and keep at it. Sooner or later you'll have a gorgeous fiance!

 

[Cross]

Tell them you practice dark magic and then ask if they want to trade Pokemon cards.

 

[Zombocalypse]

Seduction is a very beautiful game. But it's only for those with a frivolous heart. Or at least, it should be that way. Because the ones who take it seriously can get destroyed by it. And also, it takes a very very special person to be a good seducer.

I'm one of them.

 

[WolfSol]