Advice/Help How to deal with Ghosting roleplay partners?

Congenial Organism

? The Architect ✍️
Hello! I'm rather "new" to the site. I created this account quite some time ago but only recently started using it. In the past 2 weeks, I think I've had 5 potential roleplay partners ghost on me. What do you do when this happens and how do you combat the complicated roleplay situations that it can cause? As a side note I am looking for partners who will at least give me a heads up if they plan on not roleplaying with me or at least in the roleplay I am in. I can take brutal honesty, so no worries!
 
At the end of the day, you can only accept it and move on. People will flake on you even if they swear on their lives that they won't. That's how online interactions work, unfortunately. Just abandon the rp if it's one on one or kill off the character in question if it's a group roleplay.
 
I am extremely sorry for my disappearing act! Trust me, I really am. I know how disappointing and discouraging can it be when things like this happen, and I am sorry that I unintentionally let you wait for me without giving you a heads up, but as a matter of fact, I did informed the GM about me dropping the rp in the discord server, I overlooked that you may be still waiting for my post, but yeah, I am not justifying my action here, so I am still very sorry about that. With my case aside, I do wanna talk with you a little more.

From experience, I can tell you that ghosting is actually very common around here, that's the reality, real life just gets in the way and people tends to lose interest and motivation when that happens, there's no much you can do about it. Similarly, it's very hard for a Gm to actually stay active on the site and keep the rp together without feeling exhausted overtime, that's why group Rps tend to die if the Gm or the rpers are not determined or committed enough.
If it's a group rp, and a *lot* of people are showing interest, believe me, at least a few of them *will* vanish when the rp starts.
From the Gm perspective, believe me or not, they most probably already have a plan to deal with the ghosting situation if a character suddenly vanish, although it may be a little awkward if that happens in the middle of a rp, but it can be solved without any major problem.
Personally, I think the best way to prevent getting partners that simply vanish from time to time is to actually bond with your partner OOC! Simply put, wait for someone that you can actually talk with and communicate with OOC in long term, that's how to make a Rp feel long lasting even when it's not!
Rp partners means nothing if you don't actually get to know each other better, you will be nothing more than a pic and a username to them. So, find someone that's sincere, someone that you enjoy to rp *and* talk with is the best solution here, tho it takes time and not everyone is as fortunate to have a buddy like that.

But hey! Do tell me and the others more about your rp interests and preferences if you really wanna look for a good rp buddy from now on! ;]

Most people with distinct common interests are gathered together when there's a rp theme that both of you enjoy very much, bonding becomes very natural and quick if both of you happen to have compatible personality as well. The combination of common interests and compatible personalities will work wonders, if that happens you may just discovered the right partner for you.

Yeah...I realized I made this sounds like a dating site.
 
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I am extremely sorry for my disappearing act! Trust me, I really am. I know how disappointing and discouraging can it be when things like this happens, and I am sorry that I unintentionally let you wait for me without giving you an heads up, but as a matter of fact, I did informed the GM about me dropping the rp in the discord server, I overlooked that you may be still waiting for my post, but yeah, I am not justifying my action here, so I am still very sorry about that. With my case aside, I do wanna talk with you a little more.

From experience, I can tell you that ghosting is actually very common around here, that's the reality, real life just gets in the way and people tends to lose interest and motivation when that happens, there's no much you can do about it. Similarly, it's very hard for a Gm to actually stay active on the site and keep the rp together without feeling exhausted overtime, that's why group Rps tend to die if the Gm or the rpers are not determined or committed enough.
If it's a group rp, and a *lot* of people are showing interest, believe me, at least a few of them *will* vanish when the rp starts.
From the Gm perspective, believe me or not, they most probably already have a plan to deal with the ghosting situation if a character suddenly vanish, although it may be a little awkward if that happens in the middle of a rp, but it can be solved without any major problem.
Personally, I think the best way to prevent getting partners that simply vanish from time to time is to actually bond with your partner OOC! Simply put, wait for someone that you can actually talk with and communicate with OOC in long term, that's how to make a Rp feel long lasting even when it's not!
Rp partners means nothing if you don't actually get to know each other better, you will be nothing more than a pic and a username to them. So, find someone that's sincere, someone that you enjoy to rp *and* talk with is the best solution here, tho it takes time and not everyone is as fortunate to have a buddy like that.

But hey! Do tell me and the others more about your rp interests and preferences if you really wanna look for a good rp buddy from now on! ;]
I truly appreciate your elaborate response in this regard. I purposely didn't mention you because it's not a grudge against you as a person but rather a frustration with the frequency of the occasion. It appears to be a bit more than the norm for me. I could have terrible luck. Rather you let the GM know on Discord or not it was not brought to my attention and I was eagerly awaiting our character's interactions.

I don't mean to make you feel objectified or in any way expendable but I would've enjoyed a rather lengthy roleplay relation with someone like you. You seem to have an extensive RP history and I would've liked to have a bit of insight to the kind of prose you wield. I would like to roleplay with you in future occasions, hence the dramatics. In the meantime though feel free to send me a private message or I can send you one as well. I am disappointed and a bit confused as to why it all happened but would like to at least see where our roleplay relationship's dynamic lay. People and their characters are always so intriguing.

Just be warned that I can be a bit wordy and overly excited at times (double or even quadruple posting at times when inspiration is struck.) but everything is with good intentions and I need not intrude on your personal space! Just let me know if this is something you'd be interested in. I'm quite versatile and am simply looking for a longterm RP relation.
 
At the end of the day, you can only accept it and move on. People will flake on you even if they swear on their lives that they won't. That's how online interactions work, unfortunately. Just abandon the rp if it's one on one or kill off the character in question if it's a group roleplay.
I would sad react if I could. Of course, this is bound to happen but as mentioned before it has happened at an alarming frequency (at least 5 times in the past 2 weeks) which may not seem like a lot but they were relatively small roleplays. Yes... moving on is the only logical answer I understand but I wonder if there is something to be done to avoid this pretense.
 
I would sad react if I could. Of course, this is bound to happen but as mentioned before it has happened at an alarming frequency (at least 5 times in the past 2 weeks) which may not seem like a lot but they were relatively small roleplays. Yes... moving on is the only logical answer I understand but I wonder if there is something to be done to avoid this pretense.
I'm afraid that you can not avoid the situation entirely as people are inherently unreliable. You can try to minimize the possibility of them ghosting by trying to become friends with your roleplay partners, but again, this may not work because not many people view online friendships as something binding and they will ghost you anyway. It is sad, I agree, but this has been my experience on other roleplay sites. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you. Yes, it is unfortunate when a good partner disappears on you, but I prefer to remember the time we enjoyed together fondly rather than feel destroyed because of the disappearance.
 
Well, there are several ways. Really, each person should find the way that best suits what they are looking for in roleplay to deal with it. However, before we get to that, some facts:
1. Ghosting is not gonna stop
2. People who ghost rarely if ever do it for any malicious reason
3. It is not reason to give up
4. Complaining about it won't improve the situation.

While some of those may be harsh truths, one ought to accept the facts before they can create an effective solution. But the short of it is, ghosting is something that will happen no matter what, so there are two major paths to take, with minor branches. Either you can take steps to try to minimize the times in which it happens or you can take steps to make your time RPing worth it, in spite of ghosting happening.

For me personally, I took that second option. I have decided to as much as possible avoid having any regrets and thus I choose to work on my posts and content in such a way that it has a worth of it it's own. That I can have pride in every post and every roleplay I make, look back at it with a smile even if the story went nowhere in the end.

I hope you find this post useful, and good luck! Happy RPing!
 
I think ghosting happens because if there's an issue, someone feels bad about expressing building disinterest or issues within the story. I think interests change but I can also see excitement wane if a partner begins to hog the spotlight or even check out themselves. A lot of reasons could lead to ghosting. I think it's a lack of wanting conflict and finding it easier to walk away than get into a discussion about the issues. It has been happening for 20+ years in the online communities, not just in roleplaying or gaming circles. It's human nature, I assume when someone ghosts me, it's for the best and to just enjoy what fun was had. Yes, I've ghosted on a few people but that was because I felt the issues I had, could not be resolved or that I didn't see my partner looking at the issue objectively. And that if I feel a partner will be unresponsive or take a comment too personally, I'd rather walk away than get into a big debate about why I want to drop and they think things are fine. Again, some problems can be fixed but there likely is some shyness in ghosting, than speaking up.
 
Being ghosted is really painful honestly and i understand the feeling. My preferences are really niche, and so finding a partner that sticks for longer than a week or two, is a miracle. I've never ghosted before, if ever, I have given a warning because it is a negative response to a creative outlet, of your own imagination is sort of an extension of yourself.

When I first came and joined RPN it was fairly rough and still is due to my limited fandoms and ideas, and I often contemplate leaving or starting over fresh though, hopefully this advice will help you and give you a better understanding, a talk I never got.

Most of the people here are lovely, nice, people. Who also hate confrontation or telling they have to pull the plug because they feel bad. It's not that they are bad people, however it is a bit rude so I understand the confusion on knowing how to handle the situation. Please do not be surprised if you get ghosted a lot more, it happens to the best, most literate, of us.

With this being said, honestly, accepting it and moving on however it really the only way to go. You can be implored to message polietly for an update or if they wish to leave the roleplay, but it's fairly rarely that will entice anyone to stay but perhaps get an explanation though some do close down the chat so they ignore future messages or even go as far as blocking. Again, it's fairly rude and ruthless in my eyes but please don't walk away from the experience with a bitter taste in your mouth. Like I said, people here are really nice, and though they say they are older are mainly younger kids within the high school range or really early college years. In my case, I'm the fetus adult in the early college years so I am often upset when I'm ghosted though I try to take all these variables into consideration.

I hope you have better luck in the future, friend. There's always a chance so please don't give up and don't let this discourage you, or at least, don't discourage you to write, create, daydream, whatever your outlets are. Just because you have a few people you don't know leave, doesn't reflect you. Artists have numerous haters and that doesn't stop them.

I hope this helps.
 
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Ghosting is just unavoidable and in most cases it's not your fault. As many people said above, it usually happens when a person lost interest or can't reply for a long time for whatever reason, and then just simply doesn't have courage to say that and apologise for disappearance.

It happens a lot and it will happen, there is nothing you can do yourself to stop it from happening because you can't control other people's lives and minds.

What you can do is just ignore and don't let it get to you. Keep looking for new partners and eventually you will find some that will stick.

I had people ghost on me so many times I can't even remember their names anymore. But eventually I found players that I'm still playing with, took a while but it happened.


Chances of ghosting are usualy reduced if you become friends with rp partner and rp will be not your only common point of interaction. But that can't be forced. It happens a lot less often than ghosting.

But still, even if the whole world ghosts on you, don't get discouraged and keep looking. There is at least one rp partner out there that won't. Just need to find them!
 
As someone who thinks ghosting is one of the most disrespectful things you can do, people are going to be rude and that's the unfortunate reality of this site. People that consciously ghost really just place their personal comfort (or discomfort with confrontation) above transparency, for whatever reason that may be, although they may justify it however they like, and there's nothing you can do about it. I'm referring to "I don't wanna roleplay anymore, so this roleplay just no longer exists for me, they'll take the hint", not "I legitimately forgot this was a thing". Ignore them and move on.

The unfortunate thing about ghosting is it gives the ghosted no basis on which to improve if it was about them or something they did. You can't exactly know that someone found your prose awkward and stilted if they disappear into the ether without ever telling you so. Some partners give advice when bowing out of a roleplay, but, well, others never actually bow out.

But luckily, from what I hear, it's often less about you as a roleplayer. People have occupations offline. They run out of inspiration. And in any case, just move on. You're likely better off not roleplaying with someone who wouldn't do you the courtesy of a 'No longer interested, goodbye', if you tend to get invested. There's no foolproof way to really prevent ghosting. You can try to bring up during early interactions with a new partner that you'd rather just be told if they're no longer interested because waiting on a reply that'll never come is a waste of your time. You can try to get a feel for how long their roleplays generally last and whether they have any long-term partners. When someone tells you they sometimes ghost, that's obviously a bad sign. But ultimately, whether someone is going to ghost is entirely up to them, so "try" is the key word here.

Not getting ghosted is a matter of luck, tbh. Most of your roleplays here are going to die or fade out. Hopefully, you can retain a core partner or two over time, and make those particular roleplays worth it.
 
True be told, its happens a lot to come cross with a ghost partner. It would be great, I mean it takes like a message for someone to inform. To pause or even stop the rp.
 

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