Viewpoint How old is too old or too young to RP? Does it really matter?

[GojiBean]

In all honesty there's no generalized "too young" or "too old" because of one thing: Everyone is different.

There are 10 year olds out there who are more mature than people in their 50's. Whether it's because of their parents, friends, extended family, siblings, or what have you is irrelevant. Sometimes you'll find a kid out there who can make you look like a child in a conversation because they're just that articulate and cool-headed compared to you.

This is incredibly rare, mind you. But it does happen.

So I would say it's not so much about being "too young" or "too old." It's more about whether or not you're at a point in your life where your maturity level will allow you to function appropriately as a respectable human being first. And this is an entirely different discussion.

For this conversation though, I'll say that a role-player is a role-player. Whether they're 10 or 70 should make no difference. "Can they create an interesting character and play them well?" is the most important question to ask. So long as you treat them appropriately they will, more than likely, do the same for you.

At least that's my two cents on the matter.

Cheers!

~ GojiBean

 

[The Great Sage]

I don't think it's an issue of maturity, but creativity and imagination.

I can say with confidence that running a Dungeons and Dragons adventure for a group of kids is often more entertaining and thought-provoking for me than what an adult player is able to muster. There are exceptions, but as an online DM about 80% of the time I find a new player I'm completely unable to tell whether they are closer to 12 or to 30.

People who demand a certain age range of writing partner may just be looking for a certain level of written word mastery, but I think most often it's because their thoughts are already in a place where sex or implied sexualization of their characters is a primary theme or strong secondary theme of their game. I have no strong proof for this, but it's a powerful feeling of intuition on my part. And fair enough; to each their own. But I think I'd be less irritated by it if the person just came out and said it.

Otherwise, it's just age discrimination which is no good.

 

[liostwolf]

I may be a bit biased because I am 13, but I feel as though I retain a level of maturity when need be. I have only ever used this sight to rp but if I'm ever wanting to join a group rp that says it has mature themes I make sure to let the group know my age so that anyone who is uncomfortable can speak up. But no matter what the theme for 1x1 I always make sure to include my age because as some people have brought up they feel uncomfortable rp 1x1 with someone who is drastically younger and I understand. So for me, I can say (with my little knowledge) that it truly doesn't matter what your age is as long as you have fun and you can confidently read and write.

 

[Sir Fungus]

I'll only roleplay with other adults, roleplaying with a minor just feels wrong to me, not saying minors are bad role players, it just makes me uncomfortable

 

[Hootle]

Totally not yet on topic but the thing that irritates me the most is when some people assume just because an adult does not want to write with someone younger, under eighteen, they assume it is for reasons of wanting to be able to write topics that are otherwise banned on this site. That has to be the main reason. It can never be anything other than that. I can say for myself, it is not the case. I'm in my thirties. No offense, I just don't want to write with anyone younger than eighteen. I did it when I was a teenager been there done that. It has nothing to do with age discrimination either or me wanting to have naughty stuff in my writing. I just want to write with those my age. I don't care if the person is on par with Tolkien, if they are twelve, ten, or whatever I have no business writing with them. And that is my prerogative just like anyone else. You can write with whoever you feel comfortable with. Just because there are some asinine people who do take advantage online, don't lump everyone in the same pile. If I were writing with someone older than me when I was a kid, my mom would not have tolerated it. It wouldn't even matter if I were writing about Pokemon, rainbows, and magical unicorns she still wouldn't like it. And I'm not comfortable writing with a minor which is perfectly fine. Same thing if a minor doesn't want to write with anyone over eighteen. Write with whoever you are comfortable writing with. Speaking of, you can write when you are old or when you are young, it's really your business.

 

[The Great Sage]

Like I said, there'll be exceptions.

But what about the post where a player was saying they got dropped after their partner learned that they were 17 and not 18+? Or here's a good experiment - without knowing your partner's age in advance, try to guess it just by way of the quality of their writing or their ability to process and understand certain thematic nuances. I think you'll find it's often much more difficult than not. It all seems very arbitrary to me.

As for a parent not being happy that their child is playing online games with older people - that is the parent's job to monitor. I can't help feeling like a young person being stonewalled by an entire subset of an online community for what is pretty much the worst reason I can think of would be more emotionally damaged than they would be by writing a fanfic episode of their favourite anime with a 25 year old person.

 

[Jannah]

Like I said, there'll be exceptions.

But what about the post where a player was saying they got dropped after their partner learned that they were 17 and not 18+? Or here's a good experiment - without knowing your partner's age in advance, try to guess it just by way of the quality of their writing or their ability to process and understand certain thematic nuances. I think you'll find it's often much more difficult than not. It all seems very arbitrary to me.

As for a parent not being happy that their child is playing online games with older people - that is the parent's job to monitor. I can't help feeling like a young person being stonewalled by an entire subset of an online community for what is pretty much the worst reason I can think of would be more emotionally damaged than they would be by writing a fanfic episode of their favourite anime with a 25 year old person.

This is true. It's difficult to determine someone's age based on writing alone. I typically don't RP with anyone under 18 due to comfort issues. However, if a potential partner does not have their age listed anywhere and doesn't go out of their way to tell me then I won't question it. I very much follow a "don't ask, don't tell" type policy on this. I do make my 18+ requirement quite clear too so I do like to assume that anyone contacting me is being sincere.

 

[Owlbear]

But what about the post where a player was saying they got dropped after their partner learned that they were 17 and not 18+?

I don't get the issue with that. You have to draw the line somewhere, even if it gets kind of arbitrarily.

I mean, had the guy drawn the line at 17, 16 year olds would get annoyed when they were rejected since there isn't that much of a difference between 17 and 16. Had they drawn it at 16, 15 year olds would get annoyed when they were rejected since there isn't that much of a difference between 16 and 15. Had they drawn it at 15 etc etc.

 

[Hootle]

Like I said, there'll be exceptions.

But what about the post where a player was saying they got dropped after their partner learned that they were 17 and not 18+? Or here's a good experiment - without knowing your partner's age in advance, try to guess it just by way of the quality of their writing or their ability to process and understand certain thematic nuances. I think you'll find it's often much more difficult than not. It all seems very arbitrary to me.

As for a parent not being happy that their child is playing online games with older people - that is the parent's job to monitor. I can't help feeling like a young person being stonewalled by an entire subset of an online community for what is pretty much the worst reason I can think of would be more emotionally damaged than they would be by writing a fanfic episode of their favourite anime with a 25 year old person.

With the thread about the person being dropped because of their age, if the person stated somewhere they do not write with minors and found out said person is a minor that is their business to do as they as they see fit. I probably would have done the same thing though with a different approach. Also, no one knows exactly what went on between the two only a thread made from one side. To be honest, some things are better left alone rather than aired out publicly.

I mean who is here to play a guessing game with age? Why does it bother you so much that people have things that make them comfortable and things that don't. You don't have an issue with it, it seems, which is fine. That's you. Not everyone feels the same way you do. Anyway, I'm going to head out. I have nothing more to say about it.

 

[The Great Sage]

I don't get the issue with that.

The issue with it is that the player was celebrating their 18th birthday the very next day.

Arbitrary lines drawn in the sand have never made me feel comfortable. One of my degrees is in criminal science and let me pull from that something that to me feels very similar to what I'm campaigning against in this thread.

Consider a DM saying; "I want to play this game, the theme will be clean and there will be no smut. I only accept 18+ players because that's what I'm comfortable with."

Now consider a judge saying; "The minimum sentence for this crime is usually two years plus a day in federal prison, but you look like an upstanding guy to me so I'm going to let you off with 30 days probation because I personally feel comfortable with that."

These examples are not the same, but they are similar enough. If someone could just please give me some reason with more credit than 'because that's what makes me comfortable' maybe I'd be able to change my mind. Right now it's way too similar to someone not giving a minority person a job because they 'wouldn't feel comfortable'. It evokes a deep, uncomfortable parallel in my mind with tribal or nationalistic behaviour. I dislike cliques for the exact same reason.

Now, I'm sorry to say that I feel compelled to mention that no, I don't equate refusing to play games online with certain age groups as the same as nationalism - I'm just saying that they both have the same stink to them.

 

[Owlbear]

The issue with it is that the player was celebrating their 18th birthday the very next day.

The GM wasn't aware of that though, so I still don't get the issue.

These examples are not the same, but they are similar enough.

In what way? One is a personal preference and the other special treatment.

 

[The Great Sage]

Okay let me put this another way. You say you don't see the problem with arbitrariness so consider this:

There is a tyrant king who at any slight indiscretion commands his executioner to lop off the head of those who've offended him.

This is arbitrary behaviour, right? Another word for it is 'unjust'. Well I imagine not many of us would have a problem if we were in the position of the king, but I expect a great majority of us would have a problem of being in the position of those getting their heads cut off.

That's sort of what I feel when I see blanket statements being applied to any group of people. Most people will pretend to have empathy for others, but it seems pretty clear to me that such empathy isn't at all sacred and stops completely at a whim.

 

[Syntra]

Except that, when it comes to personal matters, people can discriminate for any reason at all. It is not anyone's right to roleplay with me. On the other hand, it quite literally is people's right not to be decapitated for no reason. Once we start drawing these obviously unequal comparisons, what's next? You can't say you don't want to date fair-haired people because that's a blanket statement about a group of people? Come the fuck on.

For many people, it's about interactions. This is esp true in 1x1s. I like to become friends with my partners, and it's just weird to hang out one on one with a literal kid when I'm in my twenties. I don't want to play a rolemodel to a child, I want to kick back and talk with no filter.

 

[The Great Sage]

Except that, when it comes to personal matters, people can discriminate for any reason at all. It is not anyone's right to roleplay with me.

Yeah, fair enough. Still doesn't make discrimination a charming attribute though.

For many people, it's about interactions. This is esp true in 1x1s. I like to become friends with my partners, and it's just weird to hang out one on one with a literal kid when I'm in my twenties. I don't want to play a rolemodel to a child, I want to kick back and talk with no filter.

This is an argument that I can respect. I understand that if you're looking for a friend perhaps a big age gap would be counterproductive to that goal. I was looking at it from a player/game master lens and I think that now that I understand better where you're coming from I'm not as agitated about it.

Begs the question though; why set an age minimum and not a maximum if you're looking for someone close to your own age?

 

[Jannah]

Yeah, fair enough. Still doesn't make discrimination a charming attribute though.

This is an argument that I can respect. I understand that if you're looking for a friend perhaps a big age gap would be counterproductive to that goal. I was looking at it from a player/game master lens and I think that now that I understand better where you're coming from I'm not as agitated about it.

Begs the question though; why set an age minimum and not a maximum if you're looking for someone close to your own age?

I think for a maximum to apply it would depend on the player's age. For example, I'm old enough that the vast majority of players here are younger than me, thus it would be redundant to set a maximum age. For some of the younger members it is something I've seen them do. Like, I've seen interest checks where the players are like "I won't play with people over 20, 25", or whatever other age range they came up with.

 

[The Great Sage]

I think for a maximum to apply it would depend on the player's age. For example, I'm old enough that the vast majority of players here are younger than me, thus it would be redundant to set a maximum age. For some of the younger members it is something I've seen them do. Like, I've seen interest checks where the players are like "I won't play with people over 20, 25", or whatever other age range they came up with.

Yeah, that's more or less what I figured you might say, and it seems perfectly reasonable.

To explain myself better; I tend to look at the player/game master relationship to be basically 1:1 to a customer/shop owner relationship. The game master provides a service while the player pays with their time and creative spark. Knowing this, I hope you can see how dirty I considered the arbitrary age limits to be. The only way I was able to justify it to myself is that these people wanted to keep minors out of their game since graphic (and I mean sexual, not violent) content being displayed to a minor is a literal criminal offence (at least in Canada).

But now I have another way to look at it. Thank you for helping me expand my horizons.

 

[Syntra]

Yeah, fair enough. Still doesn't make discrimination a charming attribute though.

This is an argument that I can respect. I understand that if you're looking for a friend perhaps a big age gap would be counterproductive to that goal. I was looking at it from a player/game master lens and I think that now that I understand better where you're coming from I'm not as agitated about it.

Begs the question though; why set an age minimum and not a maximum if you're looking for someone close to your own age?

Yeah, your rp habits do matter a lot in these things. Like, in a group rp setting, I wouldn't mind interacting with kids because the atmosphere is so different. As for the maximum age, people being older than me doesn't bother me because I feel like the maturity gap isn't as drastic once you're an adult. I am friends with 40 year olds irl.

 

[Jannah]

Yeah, your rp habits do matter a lot in these things. Like, in a group rp setting, I wouldn't mind interacting with kids because the atmosphere is so different. As for the maximum age, people being older than me doesn't bother me because I feel like the maturity gap isn't as drastic once you're an adult. I am friends with 40 year olds irl.

This is true. I have been in group RP's where I was fairly certain one or more members were under 18. I tend to care less in those since, as you said, very different atmosphere. Those typically don't contain the same sort of mature themes I enjoy exploring in 1x1 RP's either. I think a lot of those looking for mature content tend to gravitate towards 1x1's since it feels more personal in a way. I'm not specifically talking about sexual content, either. I also mean things like violence/gore, mental illness, and other real world heavy subjects.

 

[liostwolf]

Except that, when it comes to personal matters, people can discriminate for any reason at all. It is not anyone's right to roleplay with me. On the other hand, it quite literally is people's right not to be decapitated for no reason. Once we start drawing these obviously unequal comparisons, what's next? You can't say you don't want to date fair-haired people because that's a blanket statement about a group of people? Come the fuck on.

For many people, it's about interactions. This is esp true in 1x1s. I like to become friends with my partners, and it's just weird to hang out one on one with a literal kid when I'm in my twenties. I don't want to play a rolemodel to a child, I want to kick back and talk with no filter.

See, I completely agree with you, and honestly, me being 13 I would find it a bit uncomfortable to be friends with someone who is over the age of 30 because we would have drastically different views, thoughts, ideas, and filters. I also completely understand if someone who is just, say, 2 years older than me doesn't want to rp with me because it makes them uncomfortable or they simply don't want to I have no room to judge because that is their boundarys and opinions. I do have a few friends aver the age of 20, but no matter the age I feel like it's perfectly acceptable to set boundaries that make you comfortable with and no one should judge you.

 

[Baphomet]

5000 years old is too old to RP. Because you're dead. Unless you're me. Baphomet out!

 

[Onmyoji]

5000 years old is too old to RP. Because you're dead. Unless you're me. Baphomet out!

So if you're 5000 years old and not dead, you can still rp, which proves the point there is no such thing as 'too old'.

@ everyone, please do not derail the topic. There were already multiple threads on the matter of why some people don't rp with people of X age.
For example:
Why are underage roleplayers so scarce?
Do you ever get discouraged with roleplaying?
Dealing With The Over 18 Rule

 

[Nokumi]

If there was a "too young" limit I defanetly broke it! My parents used to read to me and I started to learn how to write at a young age. I got my first phone at age 7. Stupidly I stumbled into an rp app and was totally fascinated! And so the obsession began. I sucked at spelling properly but I was decent. Making minor mistakes such as their being there. Typical kids not knowing how to spell and needing to look up words for every post. But I was super dumb and left my phone in the car on a hot hot day. The battery fried! I only know that cuz my dad took it apart to see what happened. I didn't get my next device till years later and it was a tablet. Did the same thing. Stumbled onto an app. As for too old? Nope no such thing! I may be 19 right now but I am never EVER going to stop. ILL STOP WHEN IM DEAD!

 

[Nihilum]

So long as you're not running a babysitting day care or a geriatrics retirement home, you're probably fine. I do, however, consider writing with kids to be akin to those signs at the flea market that say 'all children left unattended will be given pixie sticks and taught how to cuss.' All children who write with me will be given margaritas and taught the gay agenda. Geriatrics may read the fine print to see how to apply for a senior discount.

Really, though, just ask yourself - 'if I was in public talking to a person of this age alone, would people think it's weird?' Someone in their late twenties should maybe-probably-definitely not be talking to a thirteen year old by themselves. You would probably get the cops called on you. Also, imagine the look on your family's faces when you tell them you're bff's with a kid. Now, that same person being seen talking to a fifty year old would be a little weird, but not 'questioning the legality of this - wait is that Chris Hansen behind the corner?' weird.

Obviously, exemptions apply. Especially in groups. There's not as much personal involvement in groups as there are 1x1s.

 

[Prince Lutin]

I'm 29, which means that I'm considered "old". I've been RPing on other forums since I was 18, so I've been doing RPing for a long time.

There's no age limit to RPing as long as you're having fun.

 

[FennecyFoxy27]

Well, age doesn’t matter when it comes to roleplaying. In the end, it depends on the roleplayer. It’s different for each person, but some people will feel uncomfortable roleplaying with a certain age range. I’m uncomfortable with people in their 35-40s. I’m comfortable with people younger than me (age range 25-6 I believe) so that’s my opinion on this topic.