Other How do YOU work/life balance?

[polandwire]

Asking here because this is something directly affecting my ability to write decent posts in a timely manner. I don't remember having this problem when I joined the workforce ## years ago but lately work has been feeling all-consuming, so I'm curious if there's something I've forgotten or something new I should try? I thought this community might offer some good feedback. I am curious about the perspective of those who aren't self-employed (aren't in charge of their scheduled hours). How do you unwind between shifts? For who are self-employed and/or prone to overworking themselves, how do you pull back and say "that's enough for today"?

 

[Onmyoji]

I honestly don't know how people find work/life balance and I wish someone shared that knowledge with me as well.

I mean, I do have other hobbies aside from roleplaying. Music is one of them and it's a very good way to unwind when I play my instruments. Main thing is that it doesn't require creativity (because I don't write music, I just play existing songs) so I can still enjoy that hobby even when I'm dying from exhaustion. While with roleplaying, I can't do that. If I'm tired I can't write and I still didn't find a way around it. Work definitely affects my ability to write and even unwinding with other hobbies can't seem to bring it back which makes me very sad.

 

[polandwire]

Work definitely affects my ability to write and even unwinding with other hobbies can't seem to bring it back which makes me very sad.

Yeah this exactly. I have a very social job and a very low social battery so even good days at work wipe me out ("it seems counterintuitive to have that job if you're an introvert, Poland." it's the one I could get D: ). It's frustrating as all get out cause I experience writer's block that has nothing to do with disinterest in the stories and 100% to do with brain fry.

Maybe "unwind" was a bad term to use. I think I mean "recharge" or "reset". So like you, I can unwind with crochet or cooking videos cause those are pretty mindless, repetitive tasks but they don't recharge me so that I can write.

Hopefully someone has ideas for both of us

 

[Merciless Medic]

Back when I had a job, I used RP as a de-stressor because I took it more casually. If I took it more seriously for myself, I'll end up having more writer's block, but that's just me since I compartmentalize. I was a cashier, so talking to customers became pretty mindless after a year and more physically demanding because I was doing more (going so far as to getting bicep tendinitis in my right arm and bursitis in my shoulder, which basically just means I used the hinges so much and in rapid succession that it hurt to move. Physical therapy of nice, soft movements help heal that issue ironically enough).

Having a job and having other things to do that were tedious, repetitive, and mind numbing did help with my writer's block and motivation to write. Until I did it too much and ended up losing motivation lol. So I had to find a middle ground where I didn't get too distracted and worked on a post. I began to just segment my time by giving myself an hour to do RP posts, a couple hours of doing something, then another hour of RP posts until I can get all my RPs done.

Other more mentally demanding RPs had to wait more from me because I'd just be so tired or fried my brain from work too much that I can't make a post. So I sleep, wake up early, and try to make one. Emphasis on try.

Some posts are easier because the scenarios my characters are in are actually pretty easy to think about. Others that break the mold of my character aren't so much. So I ended up making a word vomit post (like what school would tell you to brainstorm or making a first draft and just keep writing and writing until the timer stops or you finish) before deciphering whatever the hell I wrote (it's actually pretty readable lol) before sending out a polished post after much editing and revising. I write the reaction my character makes, which is mind-numbing enough if they are a long-time OC or a Canon I know really well. I then write the next actions I take, which take more thought but if I keep up the word vomit way of writing, I'll finish that in one fell swoop with my character's reaction. I then read it over and that sometimes gives me more creativity to revise it and have them do or say something else.

Sometimes though, none of these work. No matter how much want I have to make a post, I have too much of a brain fry and after a day or night of rest, it doesn't come back. If I keep trying to make a post, my interest just wanes and I end up dropping RPs because I can't continue despite my willingness to. There are times where I can just fight through the brain fry by listening to music, or playing a cheery, cartoony / fantasy game, or reading a book or other people's posts or stories to get back my creativity to make a post. Sometimes, talking with the people in OOC chat and getting "reinvested" in the plot help (if they are willing to do that) to make a post.

Sometimes though, my brain fog and fry prevent me from making a post and the RP dies with my inactivity. Either there isn't enough substance from the other RPers to make a quality post I would feel proud of making (even if it is short), I lose how my character is relevant or there is no OOC chat about the RP, other RPers aren't gushing and making new ideas with me about our characters, and if the novelty of a plot or fandom I'm in disappears.

The last one is a big one why I find Pokémon RP slightly boring now. I have done and failed to make so many RPs about Pokémon, and I have failed to continue RPs I've joined because the groups were dying away anyway. I used to love joining Pokémon RP for years, but now if the plot doesn't resonate with me and if it's too long (like a journey RP) and isn't separated into moments or scenes with too much downtime, I get a massive brain fry and I have to stop and I never get back to that RP. There are ways to lessen the brain fry that I find and it's to just make theories, make something more realistic in terms of science and aura studies, or reading/listening about Pokémon or playing a game or something that gets me to want to make a post and fight against the fry. It works sometimes. Other times, it doesn't.

In terms of how to reset between shifts, I personally watched a bunch of mind-numbing shows until I got anxious enough to want to do something. Or conversely, I watch something that gets me super invested and excited and I get anxious and need to do something because then I get all that energy back and the fry is gone. Music, reading, videos, and video games work the same way.

Other times, I have to work through the brain fry. I get over a writer block or brain fry by just writing something mindless in Docs or Word something I've been wanting to write or something that's cringy yet silly to change up the mood I'm in. Once I get into the groove of writing, I usually have enough strength to make a nice, decent post before I take a much needed rest. Sometimes, it takes something like writing to recharge and lessen the brain fry enough to actually write something else.

Hope this helps, but everyone is different. I would just say experiment. Milk helps recharge me, so food and drink might do it, or how much exposure you have to electronics (whether it's too much or too little), or you are suffering from burnout and need time to yourself or to work on something similar to writing that feels fresh that combats the fry and block enough to squeeze in a post.

I was a workaholic, and the times I worked harder, I tend to just need rest afterwards and then I'm good to go because I'm anxious to do something productive or creative. Usually, the harder I work or the more things I'm working on or doing at the same time, the easier it is to distract myself from the fry and make a post because I'm rapid-fire changing my attention to different things or because my brain needs to do something creative after having worked out or been social all day. XD

 

[GojiBean]

Hoyo polandwire !

And this is for Onmyoji as well since they asked. Lol!

As one who works a full-time job and has numerous other hobbies which include music (guitar player and orchestral composer), digital and traditional art (SERIOUS NOOB LEVEL), gaming (mostly the Switch with Fire Emblem: Three Houses and on PC with various survival and other fun Single-Player games mostly), creative writing and online role-playing, voice acting, and food (yes, I consider that a hobby, lol), I can confirm that there's no single trick or approach that will help "balance" all of those elements.

Having said that, I did find something that works for me.

My job is working IT at a university. My primary duties include answering our phone service line, resolving or distributing Support Tickets, and providing support for two-factor authentication issues, password issues, account lockout issues, etc. However, there's a lot we have to do that's not in our job description too. Throughout the day there are quite a number of calls and support tickets that come in which are not IT related because some dumbass up the ladder decided about 5 years ago that the IT Service Desk (my group) should be the "general operator," and that all "Help Ticket" submissions would go directly to the IT Service Desk ticket queue (I want to meet this person to tell them what a horrible idea that was). So, we get calls and tickets about everything from enrollment/application questions, academic advising questions, call center callers (I just hang up on their asses), etc, etc. Not exactly fun. Lol.

But, because I'm OCD, detail oriented, and I have a very quick "muscle memory" (Not sure if there's a better phrase) for how to resolve almost every issue we are asked about in calls and tickets, I can get through them very, very quickly. Not trying to brag. It's just that a lot of ticket resolutions are literally like this: read the ticket description, copy the appropriate response and paste it into the correspondence history (email communication), and save the ticket in the appropriate queue or close it if the resolution is in my response. Done. Takes about 15 seconds. Maybe 20 if the site is being a bit slow. So I can knock out our ticket queue quite easily and focus on phones.

When there are no calls coming in, or few to no tickets in our queue (because I make it a direct point to keep it that way, lol), I hop on to RPN during the down time and read posts and/or reply to posts that have been made to my RP's. I've also written quite a number of my other forum/topic posts while between calls and ticket slaying efforts at work. So I'm lucky to work a job that affords me that kind of down time between the primary duties which I've been assigned.

I realize not everyone can say that, though. There are a lot of jobs out there which require you to always be on your feet, always active on a phone line with no down time ever (RIP bank, internet provider, and other similar phone service people), etc. So if you work one of those jobs, first of all, I'm so sorry. And second, I can definitely understand how draining that is. I worked Audio/Visual at a Football Stadium for 2 years and was always on my feet and running around to the various rooms and spaces to help with TV, sound, and lighting problems with next to no down time except for my lunch break. Always came home, ate dinner, and then basically crashed immediately.

In such cases where you have a more active and demanding job with no down time afforded to you, I found the best thing to do, for me at least, was to keep my creative spark alive by thinking about my role-plays, thinking about playing guitar, about composing, about gaming, etc. I would usually do that for only a few minutes at a time when I was running around. Once I got to where I was needed those thoughts went away and it was work, work, work until it was time to go to the next spot. But again, on the way to the next space I would think about the creative and fun things I like to do, and that helped keep my mind more relaxed and gave it tiny little refreshes between duties at the stadium and afforded me a bit more energy when I got home. Mind you, this was not always a way to have enough brain power to actually write a long post or anything. But I could at least pop by the threads or our Discord servers to chat with the other participants of the RP's I was in.

And sometimes that was enough. I've found over the years that keeping in more consistent and rapid communication with my fellow RP'ers on Discord or other similar IM sites or pages was a great way to keep them all invested not only in the RP, but it was a great way to actually make friends outside of RP'ing as well. A couple of my friends I met on other sites followed me here when I told them how active the community was. So now they're here RP'ing as well! Woot!

Anyway, back on topic. Sorry for the rambling. Lol.

With respect to Onmyoji's inability to write even after winding down with other hobbies, that's a toughie. I'm no psychologist or brain expert. But in my own experience, whenever I find myself in a position like that the best thing I've found to do is, first, to not beat yourself up about it. Sometimes the muse just won't be there no matter what you do. Exhaustion doesn't help any, obviously. But still, it's not something you can force.

Given how mentally taxing creative writing can be with how active it forces your mind to become in coming up with all the possibilities for a given situation, scene, or expected climax, I've always found that the best way to go about making myself post, even if my mind wasn't coming up with anything "inspired," was to just write the bare minimum. I know a lot of people don't like to resort to that kind of thing. But I've found that it works. Just recap the previous post content from your character's perspective. In a way, that's kind of like playing an existing song on piano. You don't have to come up with anything. Just recapture it using your own words just like you do in your fingers on the piano keys. Then your character, at the very end, can throw up a line of dialogue or do something in one or two sentences. Even exhausted and uninspired, one or two original sentences should be manageable to keep a sense of progression at the end. Yeah?

I'm not sure where the idea of "bare minimum equals bad" came from. But I've seen a lot of people avoid the bare minimum or even decry it. And as far as I'm concerned, avoidance of the bare minimum has proven more often than not to be a momentum slayer and a potential RP killer. For example, I've seen people say "Sorry guys, I'm not feeling creative right now. I'll post when I can." Then they disappear for 6 days, or more, and come back with a half-assed post anyway. They say "Sorry, it's all I could manage." Now everyone's had 6 days to lose that momentum and that sense of flow that they were enjoying earlier for nothing. They gave the bare minimum as a last resort only after draining 6 days of life and creativity out of everyone else because they had something to prove and wanted to make a larger and more creative post.

So, while bare minimum might not be what you or everyone else wants all the time, when the muse isn't there the bare minimum will at least keep the RP going which is a positive service to both you and your fellow role-players.

So never be afraid or ashamed of the bare minimum. It can save an RP from potential death, or at least a major loss of momentum. And the other participants will be grateful and excited that it's at least moving forward.

And as for every other hobby I've got? I handle them the same way I handle role-playing. When I'm inspired, I engage them. When I'm not inspired or feeling it, I don't force the issue. Digital/traditional art are probably the hardest for me because I have been having neck issues which makes it hard to sit and draw either on paper or a tablet for very long before I start feeling really uncomfortable and my neck just goes "NOPE! YOU'RE DONE!" So I do that one sparingly when my neck feels up to the task (currently doing some physical therapy for that, but it's a slow recovery process, sadly).

Cheers!

~ GojiBean

 

[icedthemoon]

I feel like this is one of those topics no one can ever really master sadly. Or at least, you can’t always have it mastered anyway. The answer for me was that there was no life/work balance for a long time. After I graduated from high school, my life was college and my job. Occasionally I would make time for something like The Sims (my savior let’s be real) but only because it’s what got me through. Then it was school and work and Sims repeat. Still no life. Once I graduated witj my bachelors, I immediately jumped back in for a masters. I’ve had the masters since December last year and, I kid you not, it took until today for me to decide that my life had a right to actually happen too. When I started work and school, I let my life go, and that’s taken a toll on me. But now, I’ve done the school thing, gotten a great job, and I’m ready to find me again.

thanks for reading the short version of my life story. I hope that kind of helps you even if it doesn’t answer the question. At least you know that you are not alone, and at some point, things will be better, but we have to know that not all those points will be our present. Sad truth but also kind of hopeful.

 

[Zoneria]

I try to give myself alone time to relax after I get home from work. Meditating really helps me calm down.

I try not to take on too much at one time.

I usually write or roleplay on the weekends.