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Viewpoint How do you feel about people that break your RP rules?

monxmiracle

Kris; 00’ Liner
Let's face it, a lot of us at one point or another have broken the rules of an RP, or been kicked from a group for some reason or another. But after that experience how do you feel about the person that broke your rules? Do you hold a grudge against them and see them as some kind of problem? Or are you able to forgive them and give them a chance? I for one am a strong believer of the motto forgive and forget. And if someone breaks my RP rules, I do try to give them a chance to learn from their past mistakes. And I don't personally hold any vendettas against a player if they do break my rules. But I have met some people that are rather harsh, and unwilling to forgive someone based on their past mistakes. And so I was wondering, how other admins or GMs of RPs feel about rulebreakers.
 

rae2nerdy

Three Thousand Club
It depends on what rule they broke and their overall attitude around the rule breaking.

If they are a disruptive person who doesn’t play well with others it’s a firm ban from any and all future roleplays. I don’t have time to deal with someone who is only going to start fights and be disrespectful to other people.

Also if they try to bring smut, racism, homophobia, etc. into the OOC that’s a hard pass and a get gone and stay gone.

That said if the reason they were let go was because they didn’t make a post length or had some real life issues that made making posting times difficult I’m fine letting them back in.
 

monxmiracle

Kris; 00’ Liner
It depends on what rule they broke and their overall attitude around the rule breaking.

If they are a disruptive person who doesn’t play well with others it’s a firm ban from any and all future roleplays. I don’t have time to deal with someone who is only going to start fights and be disrespectful to other people.

Also if they try to bring smut, racism, homophobia, etc. into the OOC that’s a hard pass and a get gone and stay gone.

That said if the reason they were let go was because they didn’t make a post length or had some real life issues that made making posting times difficult I’m fine letting them back in.
That makes sense, I think that way of thinking is quite good to be honest
 

Crow

Top-tier Avian Master
It depends. There are rules you can break intentionally and rules you can break unintentionally. Usually I say 'please read the rules again' or point them out.

Most of the rulebreaking I've experienced happens in the application stage, which is a good thing. Like this one guy who was confirmed to be a troll by like a bajillion sources.
 

Crayons

Iconoclast
When I make rules they tend to be pretty straightforward stuff: no godmodding, no metagaming blah blah blah

If someone breaks the rules, usually it's fine to just point it out to them in a polite way. Reasonable people will be OK with that. I mean, I've accidentally metagamed a few times (usually by accidentally reading thoughts as speech) who hasn't?

If someone breaks the same rule, repeatedly, after I have asked them not to, then that's when I would start to get irritated.
And if someone gets mad when you point out that they have broken the rules, then that's kind of a red flag, and I would be watching that person like a hawk.

Oh, and no, I generally wouldn't hold a grudge unless the rulebreaking led to the whole RP being derailed. Then I might. XD
 

Peryton

New Member
Again, it depends. I don’t have many rules, per say, since I mostly do one on ones. That being said, I role play purely to have fun, so if I start getting bad vibes or if I find that posting has become a chore, I have no problem with cutting ties and moving on. I don’t hold it personally against anyone unless they make a big stink about it.

In my experience, the people who say “don’t ghost me, just tell me you aren’t enjoying the rp, I can handle honesty” are also the people who can’t actually be told just that. I am sure there are some mature writers out there who can take it, but I’ve yet to meet them. And anyway, there’s no gentle way to tell someone that you find their writing boring.

If I do say I’m taking a break from the RP and the other person starts acting like a wronged ex, I block without hesitation. That’s really the only way to earn a perma block from me. I’ve dealt with too many toxic, overly-clingy personalities in the past to even consider dipping my toes in that again.
 

rae2nerdy

Three Thousand Club
Again, it depends. I don’t have many rules, per say, since I mostly do one on ones. That being said, I role play purely to have fun, so if I start getting bad vibes or if I find that posting has become a chore, I have no problem with cutting ties and moving on. I don’t hold it personally against anyone unless they make a big stink about it.

In my experience, the people who say “don’t ghost me, just tell me you aren’t enjoying the rp, I can handle honesty” are also the people who can’t actually be told just that. I am sure there are some mature writers out there who can take it, but I’ve yet to meet them. And anyway, there’s no gentle way to tell someone that you find their writing boring.

If I do say I’m taking a break from the RP and the other person starts acting like a wronged ex, I block without hesitation. That’s really the only way to earn a perma block from me. I’ve dealt with too many toxic, overly-clingy personalities in the past to even consider dipping my toes in that again.
lol you know that’s a good point. Most of my partners are actually pretty chill about ghosting or even just long hiatus between posts. And while I can’t remember their exact searches I’m pretty sure they just said “ ghost friendly “ or mentioned they like communication OOC.

I think it’s one of those things you see people do IRL. “I’m not racist but (proceeds to say racist thing)”. I feel like if you have to specifically point out you aren’t something it’s usually because someone has called you out on whatever it is and your basically going “No I’m not!”
 

Peryton

New Member
lol you know that’s a good point. Most of my partners are actually pretty chill about ghosting or even just long hiatus between posts. And while I can’t remember their exact searches I’m pretty sure they just said “ ghost friendly “ or mentioned they like communication OOC.

I think it’s one of those things you see people do IRL. “I’m not racist but (proceeds to say racist thing)”. I feel like if you have to specifically point out you aren’t something it’s usually because someone has called you out on whatever it is and your basically going “No I’m not!”
Oh, yeah. And, just to be clear, I don't care if people ghost me. Granted, it's not happened to me a lot, but I understand sometimes real life gets busy or interests change. There's a few days disappointment, and then I move on. But in the past, I've had people who have had their friends contact me to tell me to unblock them, people make extra throwaway accounts just to contact me again and beg for another chance, etc. Nowadays, I cut ties whenever I start to get a bad vibe. It's just cleaner for me that way.
 

Deredere

Just Bored
This is why I don't have rules. I didn't want people to be scared of all the rules I might have and not want to talk to me. I was on a previous roleplaying site and saw things I should have never saw and see words with my own eyes that I'd wished I'd unsee. But at least they weren't afraid to say whatever pedophilic thing to say to me. (I hated it on that other website. I felt so spineless and now I have some basic rules. Don't screw minors!)
 

rae2nerdy

Three Thousand Club
This is why I don't have rules. I didn't want people to be scared of all the rules I might have and not want to talk to me. I was on a previous roleplaying site and saw things I should have never saw and see words with my own eyes that I'd wished I'd unsee. But at least they weren't afraid to say whatever pedophilic thing to say to me.
I would say people saying pedophilic things to you should most definately not be encouraged. It doesn’t matter your age or your beliefs. If they say that to you they will also say that to people that are vulnerable because they think it’s acceptable behavior.

In addition rules are not about scaring people. It is about ensuring that you and your partners can be respectful of one another and that the two of you have clear expectations of the roleplay.

example here are my rules
- help with world building
- talk to me ooc
- write at least a paragraph
- be okay with LGBTQ+ characters
- no characters with real world mental illness
- (Optional) no adult x child romantic relationships or romanticized abuse

Now these are not designed to be intimidating, they are designed to show people what my expectations of my partner is. If you aren’t comfortable talking to me than the roleplay isn’t going to go anywhere. If you don’t care about world building you are going to get bored very quickly. If you are uncomfortable with LGBTQ+ characters than most of my characters are gonna make you uncomfortable.

As for real world mental illness and romanticized abuse. I know people IRL who have suffered from both of these things and I find roleplaying about them to be upsetting. same with adult x child relationships, I know people who were put into very questionable situations by the adults in their lives. Nothing sexual happened but it was still a very gross situation that I refuse to romanticize.

These rules come from years of experience getting into situations with people who weren’t a good fit or who were toxic and wanted things that made me uncomfortable.

So yeah don’t think of it as “I am scaring people away” but as “I am making a list of traits I want in a partner and letting me know things I am uncomfortable with.”
 

Kylesar1

I'm not crazy. My reality is just different
Depends more on the attitude than the actual violation.
Most violations have been fixed with me telling them they broke a rule and I have them edit the post that broke it, assuming it happened either in the IC, CS, or LORE section.

OOC rule breaks that spread hate like sexism, homophobia, racism, transphobia are all insta-bans and blocks. I won't tolerate that shit in my RP groups. I haven't encountered this sort of thing yet though. I will try to cut that out before it actually leads to things like that.

All in all, be polite but firm. My general RP rules are not up for negotiation. I can maybe compromise and alter RP Lore rules a bit, but general rules are to be followed.
 

peritwinkle

♠️your local Raphael♠️
Helper
I’m a 1x1 roleplayer, but I do get quite annoyed when someone replies to my search thread and I quickly learn that they didn’t read my rules/requirements well enough. I’m lucky enough to have only experienced this at the beginning of roleplays and not in the middle of it.

However if they broke rules/requirements mid-RP and they refused to acknowledge their mistake, it would probably be a polite drop on my side.
 

Tove

Two Thousand Club
Holding a grudge seems like more of me using up too much time and effort, I would rather move on but that doesn't mean I would want to write with the person in question. I write for one x ones mainly. When I make up my request thread just like anyone else I'm doing so in the hope others will see interest in how I am as a roleplayer and so on. I feel that if someone is answering my request thread, they have read and understood everything about it. When that doesn't happen it really sucks but it also tells me if they cannot be bothered to go over something simple what else will they not want to deal with? That is not what I want in a partner nor someone unwilling to meet me half way.
 

Franklin

Prepare to feel the weight of your immaturity.
I've posted on your threads before on this topic. But I'll give a sort of different perspective. I sort of expect people to break rules to an extent. If you are a nice person I'll try to give you the benefit of the doubt.

However, I will lurk a person and have become very talented at finding people on multiple platforms. And you break rules consistently , tout or insult people. I'll not allow you into my role plays.
Seriously there is a person on this site who literally was chewing me out in a thread. It took me three seconds to locate her on several different platforms and I saw she was dishing out the same trash.
So, in that instance. I would judge that person. I DO judge that person. It's sad. I'd be like, wow, that person doesn't know how to live or grow.

However, if I saw on other platforms (completely different websites all together), threads, topics, and they are pleasant. I'll really give them a chance. You seem like a pleasant person so I'd give you the benefit of the doubt.

It's not so much about rule breaking as reputation.

It will improve just replace a lot of your free internet time with responding positive to topics. Making connections and friends. Then your reputation can grow and you'll have more positive experiences.
 

Hella Downweather

The witch of the quill
I rarely do group RP, so my experience is more focused on 1x1 or IRL Dnd groups.

I usually want to talk to the player, especially if it's IRL if I feel hostility or if they constantly break rules. But if a cordial discussion leads nowhere, or if they continue breaking rules after it, then I'll gently drop them. I won't be reaching for them in the future (since well...there's an ocean of people to choose from so why go with someone you didn't click with?), but unless they've been complete ass about it I'm more than ok to keep OOC chat or to continue talking to them IRL. However, if I join a group, and I know the GM well (key point here), and the person I had to drop is here, I may very well give a head up to my friend and say : Hey! In my last Dnd game, that person was metagaming/min maxing everything and being obnoxious about it, look out. Because, as friends, it's common courtesy.

Also a bad roleplayer != a bad person (most of the time anyway).

But that's the reaction of a 24 years old, semi-mature adult.

A lot of people in the RP community are younger, or have very black and white views of the world. For some, mulling things over and over and over and having a 'target' is satisfying and they won't stop until they discredit this person out. Which is what I understand happened to 1-2 of your group RP. And in my opinion, the best thing you can do is let it go. The RP community is large, and while one person having a grudge isn't positive, there are plenty of other groups that will take you (or anyone kicked out of a group) with open arms.

TLDR : No need to mull over so much negativity over a hobby <3 Block creeps, but stay civil (but firm!) with other players
 

Shin Positron Laser

Guardian of the Old Ways
I used to keep a thread full of rules for an RP I had before. As I got older and progressed as a GM and player, I no longer require a thread full of the RPs rules, and generally state the rules on the first page of threads for an RP. Players who break RPNation rules should know better so I will not hesitate to act accordingly towards those kinds of rule breaking.

Posting Rules.
These rules are mostly for IC threads. I will mention it in the outset. Most who join as the RP progresses realize without me having to mention anything.
IC: no one-liners.
IC: no double-posting ( unless given permission from GM )

I have never booted anyone for breaking those rules or even got mad. I simply send a reminder in OOC and that's the end of that.

Gaming Rules.
The gaming rules e.g. like the ones used in my current RP, include, guidelines/regulations and such for gaming actions. Although in youth I would be indignant and admonish any player who may have skirted any rules or regulations, nowadays unless it's a major breach of the rules, that involves forethought, malice or even blatant disregard, I will let most little things slide. E.g. adding an extra dice by mistake, not removing the correct Mana when using magic, or forgetting to drop their HP stat. Stuff like that. The systems are an amalgamation of mechanics from so many sources, that I cannot expect all my players to know and understand them completely.

When it comes to any RP with mechanics, combat etc, the principle I follow and apply to all players for OCs is to start from the bottom. The character sheet and systems are built to prevent things such as Godmodding or Metagaming.

In general holding grudges takes a lot of effort. In roleplay I have never held a grudge or wanted revenge. If people are willing to acknowledge their mistake then I'm willing to give them chances and overlook any rule breaking.
 

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