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Fandom Homestuck(Red)(Magnadeus)

Silvana

Probably somewhere creating music
Your name is DUKE FUROREM.

You are an UNREPENTANT CRITIC, and you can always find a reason to hate everything with a passion. You consider yourself a MASTER ZOOLOGIST, specializing in animals of a REPTILIAN PERSUASION. You enjoy channeling your SOUL-BLACKENING RAGE into COMPETITIVE SPIRIT, and as a result your room is littered with VIDEO GAMES. Your SISTER is your legal guardian, but she's never around. She spends most of her time PROGRAMMING. You have had to make your own food for as long as you remember, and as a result you hate COOKING more than anything. You've gotten into quite a few STRIFES with her, but she never stays long enough to feel the full wrath of your GLAIVEKIND SPECIBUS.

Your chumhandle is cholericPyromancer.
 
What will you do next?

>Duke: Configure your modus.

Oh don't even get started on that. That shit's been plaguing you for hours on end. All the guides, even though they were written as if they were for you specifically, still manage to supply no help. You could ask your sister on which modus to choose, because she is a programming expert, but you'll be damned before you ask that witch for help.

You just throw two modii in your CONTROL DECK, as you have tons of them lying around. You swear your sister just slips them in randomly.

You throw in a COOKBOOK MODUS and a FRTNCK MODUS. The frtnck modus isn't an official one, but rather one coded by your sister, hence the removal of vowels. You can't even tell what frtnck even means.

You, unsurprisingly, get the COOKBOOK-FRTNCK MODUS. You now realize that frtnck means fortune cookie. To unlock an item, you have to break apart the card. The worst part is that you have to put the card back together again if you want to reuse it. It kind of ruins the point. You have no idea what the cookbook modus does, and you'll find out later. You really couldn't care less.

>Duke: Go explore your house.

There's not really much exploring to be done here, but you figure you'll go fill up your inventory, since it currently only holds your phone.

Firstly, your room. As you are a master zoologist, your room is filled with all kinds of animals. They're all dead, of course. You can't stand living animals. You captchalogue a DEAD CROCODILE and a DEAD EAGLE. May as well fill up some space. While you're filling up space, you figure you can get rid of your SHOES as well. They're getting pretty uncomfortable.

You then walk on down to your living room, skipping your sister's room. Your sister seems to be fascinated with decay and other morbid faculties. As such, the living room feels pretty dead. You captchalogue a SKULL-SHAPED BOWL, in case you wanted to eat something upstairs. You actually haven't eaten any breakfast, so this'll be a handy item. You also captchalogue GHST, which is essentially a sentient artificial intelligence trapped in this stupid looking ghost figurine. Your sister is pretty fucked up. There is a sheet over it, despite the fact that the figure already has a fake plastic sheet. You pull off the real sheet and read it; it says "DO NOT CONNECT TO INTERNET." If it wouldn't kill you, you'd definitely have done just that by now. While walking around and looking for some more things, you trip over a HUB. You captchalogue that too, seeing as it's pretty much infinitely useful. As you get up and mutter a few swears, you comically slip on a SNOWBOARD. Neither you nor your sister snowboards, of course. This is just one of many items that your sister has created by tinkering with empty captchalogue cards. You decide to captchalogue this as well, because at this point you're just wasting space. In fact, while you're at it, you captchalogue a captchalogue card to fill your inventory by burning two cards at once. There. Inventory full.

>Duke: Pester you good buddy.

Eh...buddy is a strong word. But nonetheless, you have chums online and they are vacant. You snap open your IPHONE card and reassemble it.​
 
What will you do next?

>Duke: Configure your modus.

Oh don't even get started on that. That shit's been plaguing you for hours on end. All the guides, even though they were written as if they were for you specifically, still manage to supply no help. You could ask your sister on which modus to choose, because she is a programming expert, but you'll be damned before you ask that witch for help.

You just throw two modii in your CONTROL DECK, as you have tons of them lying around. You swear your sister just slips them in randomly.

You throw in a COOKBOOK MODUS and a FRTNCK MODUS. The frtnck modus isn't an official one, but rather one coded by your sister, hence the removal of vowels. You can't even tell what frtnck even means.

You, unsurprisingly, get the COOKBOOK-FRTNCK MODUS. You now realize that frtnck means fortune cookie. To unlock an item, you have to break apart the card. The worst part is that you have to put the card back together again if you want to reuse it. It kind of ruins the point. You have no idea what the cookbook modus does, and you'll find out later. You really couldn't care less.

>Duke: Go explore your house.

There's not really much exploring to be done here, but you figure you'll go fill up your inventory, since it currently only holds your phone.

Firstly, your room. As you are a master zoologist, your room is filled with all kinds of animals. They're all dead, of course. You can't stand living animals. You captchalogue a DEAD CROCODILE and a DEAD EAGLE. May as well fill up some space. While you're filling up space, you figure you can get rid of your SHOES as well. They're getting pretty uncomfortable.

You then walk on down to your living room, skipping your sister's room. Your sister seems to be fascinated with decay and other morbid faculties. As such, the living room feels pretty dead. You captchalogue a SKULL-SHAPED BOWL, in case you wanted to eat something upstairs. You actually haven't eaten any breakfast, so this'll be a handy item. You also captchalogue GHST, which is essentially a sentient artificial intelligence trapped in this stupid looking ghost figurine. Your sister is pretty fucked up. There is a sheet over it, despite the fact that the figure already has a fake plastic sheet. You pull off the real sheet and read it; it says "DO NOT CONNECT TO INTERNET." If it wouldn't kill you, you'd definitely have done just that by now. While walking around and looking for some more things, you trip over a HUB. You captchalogue that too, seeing as it's pretty much infinitely useful. As you get up and mutter a few swears, you comically slip on a SNOWBOARD. Neither you nor your sister snowboards, of course. This is just one of many items that your sister has created by tinkering with empty captchalogue cards. You decide to captchalogue this as well, because at this point you're just wasting space. In fact, while you're at it, you captchalogue a captchalogue card to fill your inventory by burning two cards at once. There. Inventory full.

>Duke: Pester you good buddy.

Eh...buddy is a strong word. But nonetheless, you have chums online and they are vacant. You snap open your IPHONE card and reassemble it.​

>Duke: Install the game.

You do some more grumbling before finally deciding to download this game that will probably suck. This isn't even a competitive game! It's a co-op survival puzzle game, whatever that entails. You download the two copies.

-nt s fst-
-y nd ky-
-hd dnstrs-

Of COURSE your sister pulled some trickery bullshit. Although it's weird that she is directly engaging with you. You head downstairs to commence the battle.

>Duke: STRIFE!



>Duke: Use 5x COMBOBTECH!

You'll be surprised if she even stays for the fifth command.

>ABJURE
>ABSTAIN
>ABOLISH
>ABJURE
>ASSAIL

Of course, she disappears before you can properly assail her, leaving you with two keys.​
 
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>Duke: BE the server.

You are granted the amazing power of...looking around Nova's house.

>Duke: Dump a bunch of machines in her house.

You throw all of the free machines in the space that you expanded in her room. You can't get any of the extensions because you wasted all of her grist making her room bigger.​
Noivian Noivian
 
>Duke: Start.

You hit enter on both copies. You can see Sean looking at you through his computer ad infinitum.

>Duke: HURRY THE FUCK UP AND DO SOME SERVERING

You do the same thing you did with Nova. Except he seems to have started with 200 grist instead of 20, leaving him with 180 extra build grist.​
formerlyAbrogated formerlyAbrogated
 
CP: alright
CP: the red apocalypse streaks are getting closer
CP: this game had better be worth it
 
AA: Okay, you should be able to connect now.
AA: Unless some unforseen circumstance happens which results in either of us losing power.
AA: That would be ridiculous.
 
AA: Okay, you should be able to connect now.
AA: Unless some unforseen circumstance happens which results in either of us losing power.
AA: That would be ridiculous.
(@ me when you make a post or I won't see it)
CP: yeah that'd be stupid
CP: ...
CP: there's a red dot in the sky
CP: i'm fucked
CP: but anyways yeah i've connected

formerlyAbrogated formerlyAbrogated
 
(idm)
AA: Guide me through what to do.
(i don't get the notification when you don't hence my late replies)
CP: you see all those paraphernalia in the phernalia registry
CP: just throw 'em into my house
CP: by the game's logic i should have 2,000 build grist
 
AA: Okay.

Within moments the appropriate machines are in your home, dropped neatly and efficiantly. They are all more or less near to eachother, though in different rooms.
 
AA: Okay.

Within moments the appropriate machines are in your home, dropped neatly and efficiantly. They are all more or less near to eachother, though in different rooms.
(can you at least quote my posts i'm not getting these notifications)

CP: alright great
CP: you didn't even use any of my grist wow
CP: except i will have to dash throughout my entire house to complete these steps

>Duke: Play the game.

You fling your ass basement-wards. From dicking around with Nova's house, you know what some of the machines do. With wild abandon, you try to punch the lid of the cruxtruder, to no avail.

>Duke: Equip fistkind specibus.

You punch the lid again, to a little bit more avail this time. The lid comes loose. You pry out a cruxite dowel, a weird flashy seizury ball, and the miniature screen starts counting down from 8:15.

>Duke: Keep going.

The ball follows you to your room for the next step, and accidentally touches an alligator.
 
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>Duke: Carve your dowel with the card.

You speed over to the dying room and shove the card in the slot, shove the totem in the place, and leave with a carved totem.
You take it to the alchemiter, throw the totem on the side and get an ORANGE METEOR

>Duke: PUNCH

Your first instinct is to destroy it, and these instincts have paid off. Looking out your window, you see...black.

idolsandmadness.png
 

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