Fandom Homestuck Extended: Recursive Anthology

[AiDEE-c0]

> Anya: Calculate path.

There's a lot of references to be made here. Matrix, sharingan, Meat boy? Those little car ghosts in racing games that show you your previous path..? Shame you've never seen either one of those things, so you can't make any.

Visions of failure flash before your eyes, all the decisions the three of you can make in order to DIE. One such decision is for Ciel and Dann to keep on not paying attention, so you make it a point to interrupt their banter.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

ANYA: Careful!

> ==>

You toss your remaining laser hatchet towards a nearby support pillar, causing a sudden downpour of rock as it cuts through. The rubble momentarily interrupts the enemy from reaching your friends, as well as hopefully bringing them back to the action.

Turning your focus towards the SAP IMP, you rush towards it brazenly. Barely dodging all of its attacks thanks to your new-gained SENSE, you rush towards the elevator and lob a nearby stone at its head to get its attention. The elevator is YOUR escape path, but its not the only option you posses as a GROUP. Besides, your energy drains further with every second, making your survival more likely if you don't slow the others down.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

ANYA: Tunnel through the side!
ANYA: We meet outside.

 

[SpectrumCrow]

> Ciel: Pay attention

Oh, right. You're kind of still in danger. No fun bickering yet.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: Thanks, Anya!
CIEL: Fine
CIEL: But if you aren't there in 5 minutes, I'm coming back for you!

You have full faith that Anya is sending you down a safe path, you trust her and nothing will change that.

Turning to Dann, you give him a nod and GET TO WORK!​

 

[Orikanyo]

> Dann: Tunnel.

Tunneling is what he does best, honestly, the fact he hadn't just sorta tunneled his way down to the denizen is kinda due to...

Well...

Not really thinking it'd be that easy.

But now is not the time for second guesses.

Mole boi gotta dig bruh.

==>

Your drill roared as you quickly rip into a nearby wall, slicing through like a industrial shear rips through heated butter, leaving a hole for Ciel to follow through. tapping the side of your suit's visor the EXCAVATOR'S SPELUNKING VISION BUDDY pops into life, granting you vision into the stone walls surrounding you, showing pockets of magma, tough buried grist, the occasional croc skeleton, you begin to curve upwards, turning on your wing stabilizers to keep moving and put more force in the forward.

in your twisty curvy ascent you break through the elevator shaft a few times, crashing through and breaking through the other side to keep going.

You even seemed to have crashed through the washroom of the factory above, pausing only a moment to consider the sap imp currently washing it's hands as per regulations before breaking through yet another wall.

The elevator shaft again..

Narrowly missing the septic system.

Through what seems to be a lunch room.

Breaking through a massively sized crocodile skeleton.

And quickly ending up puncturing a hole.. Right next to where the elevator began.

Huh.

Not your safest dig.​

 

[Venchi1986]

> Bart: don't touch the Magma.

Seeing how glitchy it looks you suspect it might be a bad idea to touch the MAGMA. You immediately realize the flaw in that logic, it's freaking MAGMA for crying out loud.

Snapping back to reality you decide to try and something stupid that might make the fight easier.

You do your best to focus your Aspect into one hand in an attempt to blind HEPHAESTUS while throwing a SLEEP GAS BOMB in his general direction with your other hand.

Without checking to see if either had an effect you run away from the door, it would suck if it got sealed during this battle.

Unfortunately you don't really have any other ideas for this battle. Sure, you could use Gleipnir but you are worried about the MAGMA melting the chains or worse the CORRUPTION spreading through them and affecting you.

Worst come to worst it might be best to just kill yourself and hope your Dreamself can take over, but that is a last resort.​

 

[Eidolon Astronaut]

> Be Anya.

You ride the elevator back up to the surface. It sways HAPHAZARDLY in tune with the rumbling of the planet.

You don't even make it half way before the CABLE snaps and you plummet back down into the antechamber.
​

> Be Dann.

You emerge from the tunnel just in time to hear a CABLE snapping. That's not good.

While you examine the ELEVATOR SHAFT, you are tackled by a GICLOPS into the vacant depths. That's less good.
​

> Be Bart.

The MAGMA melts through the door, and the corruption seems to be affecting the BARRIER.

Additionally, many LARGE STONE pieces of the ceiling have begun to COLLAPSE, floating in the MAGMA below. You could probably hopscotch your way over to the other side of the chamber where you can only assume the TRANSPORTALIZER is.
​

> Be Ciel.

You go to follow Dann through his tunnel when you are met with the sight of the DENIZEN'S DOOR collapsing. The BARRIER, dissolved.

SpectrumCrow AiDEE-c0 Venchi1986 Orikanyo ​

 

[SpectrumCrow]

> ==>

Oh? What's this? You're able to go help your friend? And don't have much of an option to help Dann? It would seem so! It is time, then.

> Ciel: Go to Bart

Oh fuck that's magma. Maybe DON'T touch the abomination corrupted magma? Yeah. You aren't going to touch that.
​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: Uhhh
CIEL: Bart???
CIEL: Are you okay?
CIEL: I'm following right behind you!

He doesn't LOOK hurt, but as you hopscotch your way over to him, you figure it's safer to just ask.

You're worried about Anya, what with that wire snapping. You're worried about Dann, fighting some giclops and you can't really help. You're worried about Ebli and Miki, god knows what happened to them. You're just really worried in general, to be honest.

> Ciel: Trail Bart​

 

[Orikanyo]

> Dann: Fuck.

You just got punked.

So very much punked.

God damn giclops and their desire to ruin everything.



Wriggling in the grasp of the creature, you wrest your left arm free and aim your fist at the creature's big eye, launching your rocket fist directly into it and, in your newly forced freedom punch a hole straight through it's skull with your drill.

Wow, that was easy, guess you all did get stronger..

Or maybe gigclops weren't that big anymore.

Ironic, considering how big they were...

...

it is now you consider how funny the fact that one of the corrupted creatures were two giclopsi stuck together, making a two eyed bigger cyclops.

The biggest upgrade to it's repertoire was likely depth perception.

...

Man this fall is... takeing a long time...

You didn't use your anti grave thing, why is it taking so long? Whats a guy gotta do to hit terminal velocity here?

...

Oh yea shit Any was on the elevator.

She doesn't have a flying thing right?

Never seen her fly, so best get to it.

Orienting yourself head first downwards you put all power to your thrusters, fold in your wings and increase speed to try and catch Anya before she becomes some sort of fluffy pancake. You also consider just how much hair that girl has on her head, jesus, note to future self, ask to touch pony tail.​

 

[Venchi1986]

>Bart: Run.

Looks like you hopscotch over the MAGMA. Instead of doing that you just take out flying office chairs and try to reach the other side that way. With your bombs you can easily destroy platforms and thus hopefully prevent Hephaestus from following you.

> ==>

Just as you're about to take off Ciel somehow shows up.

Why did she have to do that? You mentioned the CORRUPTION in the memo, she should have known it was too dangerous.

> Pick up crush.

Hoping to fool your Denizen you throw every single SMOKE BOMB you have in his direction before changing course and picking her up.
​

Spoiler: Dailoglog

RR:Get in! With any luck there is one of those windows on the other side of the Magma.

 

[AiDEE-c0]

> Anya: Take the fall.

You briefly consider drawing a weapon to cut into the wall with, but your movements turn out to be too sluggish by now to accomplish this. After a few seconds of falling, your back rapidly impacts the floor just as Dann comes to view. Thankfully enough, you're far too up the ECHELADDER for the impact to break anything or cause long-lasting damage, coming out with only bruises and minor injuries.

While not majorly endangering your life, the collision for sure knocks the last fight out of you. Unable to rise to your legs, you opt to stiffly point in the direction of the TRANSPORTALIZER PLATFORM, hoping that your friend receives the message.​

 

[Eidolon Astronaut]

> Be Anya and Dann.

The two of you arrive at the bottom of the ELEVATOR SHAFT, one more wounded than the other.
​

> Be Bart and Ciel.

The two of you scurry along to the other side of the chamber, where a TRANSPORTALIZER PLATFORM lies in wait.

The BOMBS do nothing to the platforms, though it wouldn't matter, as HEPHAESTUS is already WAIST DEEP in the magma, and the cave is only SLIGHTLY BIGGER than him.

More ROCK falls from the ceiling, most of it crashing into HEPHAESTUS'S MIGHTY FRAME.

SpectrumCrow AiDEE-c0 Venchi1986 Orikanyo ​

 

[Orikanyo]

> Dann: Super hero time


Now, you're not about to fall for the old scenario of dude saves the gal, if anything, this is more of a "Dude returns the favor that he can barely ever start repaying and the recipient just happens to be a gal he quite likes."

Raising your arms up to protect your head you rip through the top of the elevator for the prize within. Stopping just short of the target with help from your wings which got put into "AIR BREAK" mode, your stomache protests at the sudden stop. Landing for a brief second, you eye the scene ahead... Ciel and Bart were making their way towards a thing.

Anya points towards thing.

Time to head towards the thing.

Well, here goes nothing. Due to needing your back free, you reach down and lift Anya up with both arms, all but limiting you use of them but at least your wings could work without her getting smacked 110000 times a second.

....Jeez... She had that grizzeled look down pat... So very tired... Looked ready to konk out any second...

Ah

Focus.

No need to pull a Ciel.

Revving up your wings you leap out the hole you made as the sap imp(?) Rends its way through the front. You stick high, sneaking past the first obsticle as the duogiclops rears it's ugly bispecticalled heads.

Fists come out of it like some sort of martial arts based anime you have a faint memory of watching in your haze the last couple days. But with precious cargo, you couldn't let it get even one hit in. Ducking, weaving careening, maybe abit of skuttling you managed to get through to the once impassable barrier.

And with one big heave... you pull the BIGGEST SBSCOND you could muster and high tail it outta there like nobody's business around that big glitchy lad.

Your eyes dead set on the goal.​

 

[SpectrumCrow]

> Ciel: Hop in

You don't need to be told twice to follow your friend out of danger. ​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: I got separated from the others
CIEL: And I saw that the barrier to this place was down...
CIEL: So I came here!
CIEL: But enough of that
CIEL: Let's see if we can get the hell out of here!

> Ciel: Hey ho

Let's go​

 

[Venchi1986]

>Bart: Go use transportalizer

As soon as you arrive on the other side you get out and recaptchalogue your vehicle the second Ciel gets out as well. Despite knowing better some part can't help but think that maybe she came after you because she does like you after all and you quickly turn around to hide your blush.

Despite having no clue where the transportalizer will lead you quickly use it confident Ciel will follow you before Hepheastus can reach her.​

 

[Eidolon Astronaut]

> Be Bart and Ciel.

The two of you skedaddle into the TRANSPORTALIZER and head back to the MEGAGRID.
​

> Be Anya and Dann.

The two of you whiz through the air evading the falling STONE from above. You almost make it to the other side before you are hit by HEPHAESTUS'S MIGHTY HAMMER. You are sent flying into the STONE WALL of the chamber, and fall onto the ground beside the TRANSPORTALIZER.

HEPHAESTUS rears back to finish you off with an overhead swing, but before they do a large DRILL crashes trough the rock above impaling the Denizen and pinning him to the wall. The drill is massive, and seems to be connected to some form of ROCKET. You have no idea what's up with that, so you decide to crawl through your EXIT. Rile's DEATH-SENSE fades away,
​

> Be Anya, Bart, Ciel, and Dann.

The four of you arrive at the TRANSPORTALIZER MEGAGRID. Some of you are worse for wear, though non more so than ANYA and DANN, who took a direct hit from a DENIZEN. You wish you had something better at healing than BART'S WEIRD ALCHEMY FRUIT.

The MUSIC from earlier is much LOUDER here.

The gilded trail that only Anya sees winds its way through the grid until it reaches a old DUSTY TRANSPORTALIZER in the corner of the room. That's your ticket out of here.

SpectrumCrow AiDEE-c0 Venchi1986 Orikanyo​

 

[SpectrumCrow]

> Ciel: Help your friends

Once you see the others in the grid room, you make a point to help Dann and Anya move if they need the assistance. The only thing on your mind is getting everyone out of there alive. They're right here in front of you and Ebli is strong, Miki probably is too, they should be okay for a while. Thus, Bart, Dann, and Anya are your top priority.

You offer your shoulder for both of them to lean on and help them move to the TRANSPORTILIZER
​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: Oh thank the stars!
CIEL: I'm so glad you two are okay
CIEL: Bart and I are relatively safe
CIEL: But you two... you look really hurt.
CIEL: Here, let me help you.

 

[AiDEE-c0]

> Anya: pain

That sure hurt! Anyone less than a feral animal would probably just give up at this point, but that's where your instinctual resolve prevails. Regardless, you don't really understand Ciel's shoulder gesture as you lay, half-passed out on the FLOOR.

With the music growing ever vociferous, you realize there isn't any time left for much of anything. You're in dire need of rest, no denying, but you've already made it this far. Their collective lives are far more precious than blacking out two minutes earlier.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

ANYA: Talk... less.
ANYA: Move.
ANYA: Almost. There.

> ==>

You barely choke out your last words, biting into your own hand violently for that last, painful push of adrenaline. You then proceed to barely rise to your feet and limp over to the corner of the room, taking the TRANSPORTALIZER to DERSE.​

 

[Orikanyo]

Dann: oww

That hurt, but with the pad so near, it didn't take long to get inside.

So you kinda mumble and grumble while inside whenever this place is.
​

Spoiler: Dialoguelog

Dann: Lovely.
Dann: I think I may have shat myself three times.
Dann: And not due to the runs like the time I ate that blueberrypinapple monsterosity you made Bart.
Dann: Fiber is good.
Dann: To much will kill you.
Dann: plus side, all we need to do is find the Derse pad and-
Dann: Oh, well fuck me I guess thats the one.

you withdraw this... Apple pear orange...? You have to peel the skin off but... yep nope still looks fucken groddy underneath, and take some very ravenously quick bites out of it, swallowing before the taste or texture hits you. And with that, you are roughly about abit back to normal!!

At leats you don't feel fully like your body is caved in with a hammer.

Wobbling to your feet you eye the TRANSPORTALIZER back to where you were... and swiftly took your drill and smashed it.
​

Spoiler: Dialoguelog

Dann: No backies.
Dann: And no way they are following us.
Dann: Seriously fuck that clusterfuck of bullshit.
Dann: Those corrupted monsters showed up with friends when yea started the boss fight Bart.
Dann: Saw Sandler again to.
Dann: Did NOT look good.
Dann: So faster we get out the better...
Dann: Now lets follow the trail of anachronism and fatigue.

Didn't take you long to waddle your way over to the pad Anya went into and ZOOOP your way to where she went.​

 

[Eidolon Astronaut]

> Kids: Transportalize.

You head through yet another transportalizer, this one leading to a place that is ASSAULTINGLY AUBERGINE. You are in the middle of a PURPLE CITY of GOTHIC ARCHITECTURE and a bunch of those CHESS GUYS; CARAPACIANS, as Dann informed you. Here you can see the black sky of the FURTHEST RING, and what you see can only be described as GRAND.

In the void near DERSE, hundreds of large SHIPS float in tight formation, solid gray, with a single BLUE LINE painted across the side. The largest of the ships is at the front of the fleet. The flaghip named the STARLIGHT CALLIOPE (a fact you learned from it being painted in giant letters on the hull) has what appears to be a HUMANOID FIGURE standing at a PODIUM on the BOW. They are far away, and it is hard to make out who -or what- they are, but they appear to be waving their arms around.

Almost as if they are conducting the full ORCHESTRAL ARRANGEMENT that plays now LOUDER and CLEARER than ever before, obviously coming from the ARMADA. With each note produced, a LASER is fired from a ship into the LAND OF DEPTHS AND SMOKE, and with every crescendo, a gigantic DRILL MISSILE is fired and burrows into the planet's core. However this is, they are DESTROYING LODAS.

Dann's injuries are slowly starting to recover.

Anya's are not. The CORRUPTION is taking a toll, but not nearly as fast or malignantly as it is on a GAME CONSTRUCT.
​

> ==>

Deciding to stop surveying the ARMED FLEET, you continue to follow the path Rile shows Anya. You follow the trail into a large CASTLE that seems rather important. You pass by a QUEEN who notices you but pays you no mind, clearly fixated on the PERFORMANCE outside. You follow deeper into the palace until you find a room labeled 'Archagent' and enter.

Here you find a DERSITE slouched in the corner, reading some MAGAZINE, scowling at the mere notion of existence. He doesn't care about stopping you. Additionally, beside four FENESTRATED PLANES, you spot your good ol' compatriot MASK.
​

Spoiler: Show Pesterlog

MASK: oh hey guys.
MASK: you two look like shit.

SpectrumCrow AiDEE-c0 Venchi1986 Orikanyo ​

 

[SpectrumCrow]

> Ciel: EEP!

You almost jump upon seeing Mask, not expecting them specifically. While you're still absolutely panicking, you can't help but feel a bit relieved. You trust Mask, so seeing them is easing your heart, if only a little bit.
​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: Mask!!!
CIEL: Anya and Dann are hurt
CIEL: Although, Anya is a lot worse for wear...
CIEL: Please, Mask...
CIEL: Can you help her?
CIEL: I can't afford to lose Anya
CIEL: I can't afford to lose any of them.

> Ciel: Beg

You quite literally get on your knees, absolutely desperate for any help Mask can provide.

You would be absolutely amazed at the armada and Derse itself if it weren't for the fact that you're still EXTREMELY WORRIED.​

 

[Orikanyo]

> Dann: Speak​

Spoiler: Dialoguelog

Dann: Had to go through hell to get here.
Dann: Just escaped whatever that bombardment outside...
Dann: Even while glitched the fuck out hammer boi in there packs a mean smack.
Dann: Lucky to get out while a drill crushed him.

You speak up, giving the briefest of explanation...

And then Ciel began freaking out, or rather maybe it was happening before you?

Man you don't know, all you know is that shits gone real side ways from its usual sideways.

You got no clue where this train is heading amd its been off the tracks for a solid mile now.

...Wait who is that guy...? Office sign said "ArchAgent" but man this guy looked really done with today. You'd hazard a hello or something but... Something deep in your brain, gut and heart says this fellah was abit of a looney.​

 

[Venchi1986]

>Bart: explore Derse.

While you're worried about Anya not healing the sight of the shops destroying LODAD worries you a lot more. the four of you escaped just in time. Luckily they aren't focused on this planet yet.

As you head deeper and deeper into the castle you're surprised no one is stopping you as you past the Queen, maybe royalty isn't that important to these carapaced people or something?

> ==>

Eventually you arrive at the room of some high ranking agent who is sitting in a cubicle of windows and ignores your group as well.

The only other person in the room besides you four and the archagent is Mask.

The fact that Ciel literally gets on her knees and begs them to help Anya tells you her attraction is most likely not limited to DEVIL GIRLS . While the idea of Ciel and other girls has some very good parts now is definitely not the time to be thinking that.

So as soon as she and Dann are done talking you decide to bring up some important stuff in order to distract you from ..Ciel doing stuf with with other girls.
​

Spoiler: Dailoglog

RR: We haven't met but I have two questions.
RR :What can you tell us about that whole God thing?
RR: And two before we leave this universe how will we bring my sister and the other...Guardians along?

 

[AiDEE-c0]

> Anya: noise go brrrrr

Beaten, exhausted, sleepless for two days and newly implanted with a malignant SEED not yet visible, you barely register the voices erupting from around you anymore. The music and the talking melds into cacophonous buzzing inside your head, as you vacantly stare at the FENESTRATED WALL in front of you.

It doesn't look like it's on.

> ==>

Was your vision always this blurry? It takes you a while to notice Mask even being there, but that's a reassuring fact. Still, as the head of knowledge in this situation, how ironic that you cannot find the breath to speak. Instead, you slowly drop onto the floor again, sitting with your forehead flat against the glass.

Soundlessly breathing, you press your index finger against the frame of this FOURTH WALL, the most you can convey for when somebody notices you.​

 

[Eidolon Astronaut]

> Kids: Parley.

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

MASK: jesus christ anya.
MASK: hold on.

Mask pulls an item from their STRIFE DECK, a fanciful wzard-themed umbrella called the UMBREW-HA-HA. They point it at Dann and Anya. Red MAJYYKS spill from the tip of the weather-adverse instrument as your wounds begin to close. Less as if they are being HEALED and more as if they are being UNMADE. The CORRUPTION leaves Anya's body, and a sliver of energy is restored.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

MASK: that should help.
MASK: as for your questions b-man:
MASK: god tiering is out of the question sorry.
MASK: your session lacks the required...
MASK: infrastructure.
MASK: don't really have time for it either.
MASK: and your guardians never entered the session with you.
MASK: your simulated families are still probably on your digital earth.
MASK: if they even exist anymore.

Mask pulls Anya to her feet and learns her up againt Bart to keep her steady. They then turn on the FOURTH WALL, which seems to lead to some INFINITE BLACK EXPANSE, and pulls their hood down, revealing short and wild BLACK HAIR. The break the glass of the FOURTH WALL with their umbrella and stand on the edge, dangerously close to falling into the abyss.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

MASK: it's time to hit the road.
MASK: you'll be meeting up with your primes.
MASK: i don't know how long it will take but afterwards we'll all meet up at the devil's session and put a stop to our friend keta.
MASK: ciel your prime is out in paradox space scavenging old sessions.
MASK: anya, your's never left the prime session, their still there.
MASK: dann, your's is out there currently destroying your session rn.
MASK: and b-man, your just gonna have to come with me.

Mask looks to the four of you.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

MASK: everyone ready?
MASK: there's no turning back.

SpectrumCrow AiDEE-c0 Venchi1986 Orikanyo ​

 

[Orikanyo]

> Dann: Gird yourself.


They really were in a shit out of luck situation huh...? Guess its nothing but heading into the great big unknown...

But at least Mask was kind enough to stop.. or rather undo the corruption.

Really, you have very little clue how this will all go...

What should you even consider your prime as?

You are a copy of them right?

After a hundred and one times repeated...

Who will they be?

Are you like them at all?

Judging form whats going on outside...

You can definitely say they are quite bombastic.

As for Mask.. it seems this will be the last time you meet them for awhile.

Best you get this outta the way.
​

Spoiler: Dialoguelog

Dann: Hey Mask
Dann: Thanks man.
Dann: From the sound of it we'll be splitting up abit yea?
Dann: You all be careful alright?
Dann: If I hear any of you died.
Dann: I'll bring you back just to kick your ass myself.

You then eye the fourth wall and then look at mask.
​

Spoiler: Dialoguelog

Dann: Stay frosty brotha

> Dann: defenestrate yourself.​

 

[SpectrumCrow]

> Ciel: Wait​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: Did...
CIEL: Did no one tell you, Bart?
CIEL: I thought Dann or Anya would have told you
CIEL: Er... I'm sorry..

You can't meet his eye, rubbing your shoulder as you stand back up onto your feet. You decide that Bart might need a minute, thus you turn back to Mask.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: Thank you, Mask...
CIEL: Your help means the world to me.
CIEL: I can't begin to describe it.
CIEL: Just... Give me a moment.

> Ciel: Say goodbye

You don't want this to be goodbye and you doubt it is, at least not for a while. But you don't know what's going to happen... So you should say goodbyes just in case.

> Ciel: Hug Dann

You give Dann a long, tight hug before he goes. Hesitantly pulling back, you give him a weak smile.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: I'll see you soon
CIEL: I truly believe we'll get through this.
CIEL: But... Be safe...
CIEL: I love you, Dann.

> Ciel: Wave to Bart

You figure he might still need space especially after....yeah​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: See you soon, Bart
CIEL: And you better stay safe
CIEL: Or else I'll join Dann in reviving you~

And then...

> Ciel: Anya

You move to Anya, a much more sad smile as you take one of her hands in yours.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: I'm glad you're okay. We can get through this
CIEL: We'll survive, I promise.

You lean forward and give her a peck on the cheek​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: Thanks for helping me figure myself out.

Walking up to your window, you give everyone one last wave and smile.​

Spoiler: Show Dialoguelog

CIEL: I love all of you
CIEL: See you soon!~

> Ciel: Defenestrate yourself​