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Eidolon Astronaut

Rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun.
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 12th of April, 2009, is the day this young man receives his beta copy of a game that came out two days prior. He's pretty excited to play, so he should probably go get the mail or whatever kids these days do.

==> Enter Name.
 
Retiring Gags.
> Xavier Cyrus

Unfortunately you cannot name this young man! His name was already engraved on his HONORARY PLACRONYM over 2 years ago on his 13th birthday! It's proably for the best though, crowd sourcing names never ends well, and this gag has been used to death by now.

==> Inspect Placronym

Your name is RUDY HADDOCK.

What do you do?
 
==> Honk like a goose and shit on your desk.
 
Rudy Haddock: Origin
> Investigate surroundings.

You examine your room.

577323

As previously mentioned, your name is RUDY.

As noted by your posters, you have a great fondness of SPY MOVIES, and you daydream about being a gentleman spy yourself, that is when your not PLAYING GAMES with your friend, though she tends to be way better at them than you. You also enjoy a bit of FOLKLORE of a CRYPTOZOOLOGICAL VARIETY, though this particular interest has slightly faded over the years, but it did spawn a general LOVE FOR THE OUTDOORS.

Your 16th birthday is next week, but today is much more important, you think. You have a game to play.

What now?
 
==> Look out the window at your mailbox - is your game here?
 
Heist Planning.
> Look out the window at your mailbox - is your game here?

Stealing a gander though the fenestration, you see your mailbox - a mailbox that most certainly holds your game in it's clutches.
It'll take a daring HEIST in order to retrieve the package without alerting the security, by which you mean waking up your GRANDDAD.
 
Arm yourself.
> Prepare for your heist.

Great idea. Just in case, you'll need a weapon, and whatever other garbage you can cram in your inventory just for fun.
You have choice between your WATER PISTOL (gunkind) or a bag of WATER BALLOONS (bombkind)

Plus, given information on your interests, any audience members can suggest items that they think might be in your room to take with you. If your life had an audience, which it doesn't.
 
Pew pew.
> Captchalogue cryptid stuffy

You STASH the STUFFED MOTHMAN into your STASHCACHE, a much more manageable inventory system than a sylladex. You have 4 spaces left.

> Allocate the water gun


You allocate the WATER PISTOL into your STASHCACHE's weapon system, granting you access to GUNKIND and a free Cache Slot for your weapon.

It seems someone is trying to get in touch with you via your COMPUTER.
 
jBarrett > rHaddock
> Answer Chum

You open up TAXIM, it's a bit clunky compared to newer messaging services, but your friend insists you all use it.

577413

>JB: Rudy. are you ready?
>RH: For what?
>JB: Only the most anticipated game of the year. it's time for us to all play together!
>RH: I cant
>JB: GASP! why not?
>RH: I dont have it yet, I still need to get it from my mailbox
>RH: Heist the crud out of that mail
>JB: Nerd. hurry up! everyone else already has the game by now, we're just waiting on you to get your butt in gear. since it's your birthday soon we thought we'd let you be player 1.
>RH: Well right now the only thing stopping me from getting the game right now is you messaging me
>RH: I have a mission to get on with thank you very much
>JB: Fine, i'll let you get to it. when you start up dp'll connect to you as your player 2
>RH: DP? Shes going to wipe the floor with us
>JB: Yeah. game. get. now. quit stalling
>RH: Me?
>JB: Yes. barrett out.

>RH: Bye then, I guess?
 
Mailheist Pt. 1: Tentative steps.
> You heard orange text. Get game!

You back away from your computer and begin MAILHEIST.

You exit your bedroom and head to the LIVING ROOM and, yep, There's your Granddad, sleeping on the couch with STAR TREK playing on the TV. You attempt to sneak on by, but due to some rather shitty luck, end up tripping over a stray tennis ball. Why do old people even put these things on their walkers?

Never the less, your Granddad wakes up, though with his lack of SPATIAL AWARENESS, he doesn't know where you are.

What now?
 
Mailheist Pt. 2: For the love of god hide.
> Drop to the floor and hide!

You preform TACTICAL CONTIGISTRAT #17: FLOOR CAMOUFLAGE. By becoming as flat as the floor, there is no way he'll see you! Your Granddad gets up and walks into the kitchen. You suppose he didn't see you, that or he's just to hungry to care right now. You book it out the front door.

There you see it, the MAILBOX, glorious in all it's splendor. You reach in and...
... You got a copy of the SBURB BETA, Server & Client! You STASH those away. (3 Spaces left.)

Now all that's left is go back inside and start downloading.
==>

Once you pass through the front door again, you immediately see your blunder. SANDWICH in one hand, remote in the other, your GRANDDAD accosts you! The old man probably wants you to help him figure out how to use the computer or something else equally old-persony.

STRIFE!
AGGRESS - AGGRIEVE - ABSCOND
 
> AGGRIEVE <

You send a mighty blow elderly-ward, only to be blocked by an AUTO-SALAMI.

The Old Man uses GUARDIAN RUBRIC: WHUH? HUH? Lost in an Alzheimer-induced confusion, you are pummeled by a fistful of meat, cheese, and bread.

STRIFE!
AGGRESS - ABSCOND
 

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