Other Heavy

[Panda chaos]

It was like a weight was on my chest. Constricting my breathing. Stopping me from moving in any way. I was glued to the floor. I was stuck. This weight fell over me at random times. I would be walking to the restroom; when suddenly my legs wouldn’t work. My feet refused to move, and my knees buckled underneath me. Then down I went. First propped up on my knees, then on my hands too, then I would get to heavy I had to lay down. So I lay there on the dirty floor. My head pressed against the cold wood. My arms tucked next to me. How did I get here? I used to be so... happy.

 

[Panda chaos]

It hurt. It hurt until the point where I thought I was going to die. And the worst part was that there were no marks; no bruises or scars. None on my body, but a ton on my heart. My heart was being slowly chipped away; it felt like it was being torn at by a knife. The sword, worse then a blade. The bandaids, did nothing but stop the bleeding for a short while. Arrows were hurled at me left and right. Stab wounds covering my soul. Not scars but gashes. Not gashes but canyons, of deep cut sorrow. Grief and pain were an anchor holding me in place. My ship the only thing keeping me above the water. My ship, hope. Hope that one day the arrows would cease. Hope that they might put down their blades. Hope that maybe it wasn’t forever.

 

[Panda chaos]

‘I’m sorry’
Those words come out of people’s mouths to much. I used to think that they meant nothing; that they were some petty excuse. People use it way to often to excuse the inexcusable. I had always thought that maybe they carried no meaning anymore. That they meant nothing. But then they graced your lips; dripped from your tongue like sweet honey. And the world around me flipped; my eyes began to water and twin rivers poured from my eyes. Never before had I thought you cared. Never before had I trusted your word. But now I know you care. Now I know that you mean it. You’re sorry for all that you have done. You’re sorry for putting me though all those years. You’re sorry for leaving. And it was just to much; I.... couldn’t even say goodbye.

 

[KyRei]

 

[Panda chaos]

I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out. My breath is gone and I feel all eyes on me. A sharp pain is suddenly felt in my throat, like a shard of glass. The room seems to fill with more people; all staring at me with judgment in their eyes. I feel the clinging tension, as my chest feels tight. The world starts spinning, and the walls start to shrink. It’s like the world around me is getting smaller, and smaller, and smaller. The people suddenly all walk towards me; leaving me no room to breath. I want to scream and run away. But my feet are glued to the floor, no oxygen reaches my lungs, my eyes cast down, and no words come out from my mouth. I can only stand and take the torture that my mind has afflicted on me.