Give your terrible roleplaying advice

Try to aim to be the main character of a RP. Don't worry about everyone else wanting you to share the spotlight. Its first come, first served.
Make a super emotionally scarring backstory that leaves no emotional scars.
Your character is always the best. Everyone else just gotta deal with it.
Make the character broken as possible. Roleplays are toxi-I-I mean healthy competitions to see who can create the most powerful character before we reach reality warping.
Teenagers are the most skilled characters in any roleplay.
Treat any suggestion to improve your already perfect character as a personal insult. And make sure to tell the GM to kill themselves for it. Cuz what are they gonna do? Give you the boot?
Just add Rape. Instant Masterpiece.
Throw a temper tantrum whenever the rp doesn't center on you (and crank it up to 11 when your maturity is questioned. That outta convince them).
 
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Always write in first person. No exceptions.

The best characters have super edgy pasts such as dead parents, abusive childhood, escaped test subject, etc. Also make them immortal and unkillable teenagers who have no flaws at all, because why not?

Godmod whenever you can. Same with powergaming. Your characters must be as broken as possible.

Never listen to GMs. In fact, fuck their opinions!

Take control of the characters of other players, because you know you are better than them.

Shitty grammar and spelling is great for everyone, especially those who failed English or do not speak English as their first language. Don't care about everyone else.

Your posts should consist of 80% images of your character, 15% filler text like his/her status, and 5% actual post.

Post once every 365 days and when the planets align. And a one-liner every time.
 
Remember, taking control of peoples characters makes the RP better and faster, and when creating your character, your best bet is to go for an ultra edgy orphan teen who turned to killing and has an overly tragic backstory that involves his parents getting murdered and science experiments.

Did you just describe the kid from Deadpool 2? Caught you Marvel...
 
The more disrespectful you are, the more people you attract.
your characters will be more unique with cliches, put them in their bios!
 
Be offended by every action your partner does with their character. In fact, confront your partner about it. Make sure they know how angry you are with their actions for their character because the plot and all characters revolve around you.
 
If another player's character ever done something you- I mean, YOUR character didn't like? Simply make sure to somehow hold a grudge over them for the rest of their life! I mean, BLATANTLY being rude to another rper in front of everybody will CERTAINLY not cause anybody to wonder what you have against this person. Oh and make sure that there are least THREE other people who were present in the LAST rp be present NOW as you throw shade. Being rude to this person NOW will in NO way look like a grudge that you're carrying from all the way back THEN. It's COMPLETELY this other person's fault that you feel this way. THEY were the one that decided to have their character steal one YOUR character's conque- I mean- steal away your one TRUE love! It's not like there's a difference between IC and OOC after all. So instead of treating the other person with professional courtesy and stowing your hurt feelings away to be buried in the past, make sure you NEVER let them live down that one time they stopped your character from buring his coc- I mean, wooing his true love into his candle lit bed chambers. I mean, it's not like the rper who's character was stolen away into the other guy's arms made a conscious decision to have their character marry that OTHER guy's character instead....
 
Make sure you don't use any spell check. No one has time for that. Gotta keep your partner on their toes and make them work a little to understand your post. They love the extra work, it's like a game within a game.
 
If everyone is using an anime faceclaim use a real life one. Or if everyone is using a human faceclaim use an anime one
 
Remember, your character is a perfect Adonis and can never be caught in an embarrassing situation. They never walk into poles, get food poisoning or is otherwise off guard. They must be a walking, talking Victoria Secret model at all times. Trust me, they'll be way more relateable this way!
 
Only rp using fourth wall breaks. Never compromise on anything, ever.
 
Kill off your roleplay partner's character. Bitches love having their characters killed off.
 
If you're brainstorming, make sure your partner does all the suggesting and plotting. You gotta be agreeable and passive so you can hurry to the RPing.
 
- If your partner ends an rp because they’re busy, just complain about it to everyone you know! Slander your ex-rp partner, insult them, belittle them, spread rumours and make it so they can never RP with anyone else because they didn’t/couldn’t rp with you! If they can’t roleplay with you, then they shouldn’t roleplay with anyone. (true story lmao)

- Remember that post your partner wrote? Yknow, the one thousand word one? Just reply with these three magical words: “yes!” he yelled. It’s a surefire way to keep your rp chugging along at a nice pace, and your partner will love you for it! (true story here as well...)

- Disregard every single rule and boundary your partner has set. Ignore their preferences, misgender them and their character, and completely brush them off when they ask you to stop trying to kill their character off without asking. Nobody cares how your partner feels, it’s all about what you want because roleplay is meant to only be fun for one person!

- Make your replies as vague as possible. Your partner is wasting their time by writing lots of detail, making it clear what their character is doing and so on. You just need to expect them to know exactly what you meant by “he walked up”! Walked where? Up the stairs, of course! How silly of your partner to not know that!

- Always assume your character already knows your partner’s character’s name. Or any names of the characters in your roleplay for that matter, whether your character has actually met them before or not.

- One liners.

- Don’t forget to always flirt with your roleplay partner! They are their character and you are yours, so it’s okay to come on to them like a creep!

- Everything is black and white! There are no morally ambiguous characters, so make sure your character is only good or evil!

- Ghosting is the best thing to do when you don’t want to roleplay anymore! Forget how your partner might feel about it, and don’t worry about communicating to them that you’re no longer interested! It’s not necessary in real life so why would it be in roleplay?

- If you roleplay M//, always make your “bottom” stereotypically whiny, weak, a cry baby and shy. Don’t give them any personality beyond that, the “tops” hate it when you create characters with substance that aren’t all about their position in bed!

- On the M// note, don’t forget to always lie about your character’s “position”! You should always claim your character is a switch to attract roleplay partners, then drop the “he’s actually a bottom” bomb! They love that!

- Is your partner sleeping right now? If they haven’t replied, it’s okay to spam them until they wake up! They’d be happy to reply to you at a moment’s notice for your sake, because everyone loves it when you assume nobody has a life and don’t have physical needs to attend to!
 
Well... Everyone said everything so far... hm... Oh, i know
Have a character with 10x human strength and 20x human mental power... and have their weakness be perversion, because boobs
 
Feel free to dictate how the other characters think or react to you, even if they didn't agree to it beforehand.
 
Your character needs to react to your partner’s in one of two ways.

Like this:
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Or this:
931ECFC7-DF66-4E2F-87EE-5DCE76E61D5F.gif

There is no in between.
 
Remember: that other roleplayer belongs to you. They are Your Person. Your roleplay with them must be prized by that partner above all others (otherwise, they don't like you).
Offline obligations? Your partner certainly doesn't have any and absolutely must reply immediately after you post, or after you send them three (perfectly valid and appropriate) reminders to post. If they haven't replied in an entire day but they're online doing other things, send them another reminder, passive aggressive this time, to let them know you see them doing things at their own leisure like this is a hobby and not a job, because we all love to feel like we're being watched.
Never forget: boundaries don't exist in 1x1s.
 

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