punkrot
ARE YOU A ONE, OR A ZERO?
i've been writing for 9-10 years now, both in the context of RP and original works outside of that. i love my writing style, and i'm very proud of how far i've come! that's not where my anxiety lies; i know that i'm a competent writer. my anxiety lies in meeting new people and collaborating with them, which is silly considering online RP and writing spaces have been where i've met some of my best friends, and it's where i've found the most like-minded people.
out of all of my time spent writing and RPing, i've spent a lot of it on tumblr. tumblr is where i've met two of my absolute best friends (known them for 6 years now!) and i continue to meet very wonderful people there! interacting with people on tumblr is also where a lot of my online anxieties come from, though; i've met some of the most vile and hateful people on there. i've had a lot of people use me, only to dump me when they're bored. there's also a lot of rampant racism, homophobia, transphobia, and general bigotry, alongside a huge clique mentality. (sidenote: there's a difference between prioritizing your friends online and creating an impenetrable clique within the RPC, especially fandom RPCs)
i want to reach out to more people, that's why i've made myself a new account here (lost my old one, RIP). however, because of how shitty the tumblr RPCs can be, i'm almost afraid to. adding those toxic mentalities onto my pre-existing anxiety creates one Mega Anxiety that makes it really hard to reach out to people and to share my ideas. because of my past experiences, i find myself feeling annoying, or undervalued. i guess where i'm going with this is: has anyone else felt the same? how did you get over your anxiety / make it easier for yourself to reach out to others and share your ideas?
out of all of my time spent writing and RPing, i've spent a lot of it on tumblr. tumblr is where i've met two of my absolute best friends (known them for 6 years now!) and i continue to meet very wonderful people there! interacting with people on tumblr is also where a lot of my online anxieties come from, though; i've met some of the most vile and hateful people on there. i've had a lot of people use me, only to dump me when they're bored. there's also a lot of rampant racism, homophobia, transphobia, and general bigotry, alongside a huge clique mentality. (sidenote: there's a difference between prioritizing your friends online and creating an impenetrable clique within the RPC, especially fandom RPCs)
i want to reach out to more people, that's why i've made myself a new account here (lost my old one, RIP). however, because of how shitty the tumblr RPCs can be, i'm almost afraid to. adding those toxic mentalities onto my pre-existing anxiety creates one Mega Anxiety that makes it really hard to reach out to people and to share my ideas. because of my past experiences, i find myself feeling annoying, or undervalued. i guess where i'm going with this is: has anyone else felt the same? how did you get over your anxiety / make it easier for yourself to reach out to others and share your ideas?