Story Genesis Prologue (open for feedback)

Shadow Cat

The Oncoming Storm
Roleplay Availability
She knelt on the double yellow lines and clasped her hands together, turning her face to the sky. She gazed up at the moon, the brilliant beams glinting off the defeat in her eyes. The sharp, icy needles of frozen fog pierced her skin with such relentlessness that she felt as though God himself was punishing her. Puffs of white breath flowed from her lungs like a soul leaving a body. It was the time of night when nothing felt real except the pain in her chest and snow soaking her jeans. She lowered her head, finishing her apology as she watched the wide-set headlights of an eighteen wheeler barreling toward her.

The driver didn’t see her until it was too late to brake safely. The sound of locked wheels skidding on black ice was deafening in the dead silence of the night. The entire semi spun out of control with no sign of stopping. The tail lights were blinding as the jack-knifed trailer angled its rear toward the girl in the middle of the road. For her last thought, she sent out an order for the driver not to be harmed. In the next few moments, the cab hit the ditch, a drift of snow exploded into the air, and silence shrouded the Earth once more.

When the police arrived at the scene, they found no sign of the girl the truck driver spoke of. Not so much as a footprint was found on the road. Of course, the cops didn’t believe him. There was a blanket of undisturbed snow on the yellow lines. The county had not yet salted the roads, and there would have been some sign of a girl if she had ever been there. At least, that was what they told the driver. They promised to file the incident and contact the burly man if anything came to light, but they doubted it would.

Jackson Carter stepped into the road as the blue lights sped away. His eyes followed a leaf as it was carried across the street, stopping at the feet of a twenty-year-old girl. For a moment, he was stunned.

“H-hey!” He yelled to the distance sirens. “Come back! She’s-”

“Don’t bother. They can’t fix what’s broken in this world.” She interrupted.

Jackson paused, longing for the company of another person to tell him he wasn’t losing his mind. “What’s your name?” He needed to stall. To keep her here. He could feel that she wanted to leave. Where she wanted to go, he had no idea.

“Adalia.”

“Adalia,” he repeated, feeling the word’s foreign taste on his tongue.

Adalia looked the man up and down and smiled. His skin was rough and tanned, his hands calloused, but nowhere did blood seep from a wound. “Remarkable that you weren’t hurt.” She commented.

“What were you doing in the middle of the road?” the man asked, stepping forward as he sensed the conversation coming to an end. “And how did you disappear?”

“I needed to prove something, that’s all.” She avoided the second question for his sake.

“What?” He asked.

“Nothing is random in this world. It never was, and now it never will be.” She turned to walk away before the man’s shock wore off and he realized how many questions could be asked.

“Are you a ghost, Adalia?” His voice rang out as she reached the treeline a few feet from the edge of the skid-marked asphalt.

“No.” came the reply

“Are you an angel?”

“Not tonight.” She answered. And then she was gone.
 
She knelt on the double yellow lines and clasped her hands together, turning her face to the sky. She gazed up at the moon, the brilliant beams glinting off the defeat in her eyes. The sharp, icy needles of frozen fog pierced her skin with such relentlessness that she felt as though God himself was punishing her. Puffs of white breath flowed from her lungs like a soul leaving a body. It was the time of night when nothing felt real except the pain in her chest and snow soaking her jeans. She lowered her head, finishing her apology as she watched the wide-set headlights of an eighteen wheeler barreling toward her...
etc.

Wow, this is an interesting story. Your descriptions of the setting and the emerging characters are really detailed. If there was any feedback I could give, I'd say keep the verbs describing dialogue a bit inconsistent so that it doesn't distract from the flow of the story often. But this is really good so far. Keep going!
 

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