free2bealways
Master Mischief Maker
Brooklyn lay on her stomach under her bed. Her heart pounded as she pressed herself as far as could into the wall. She opened her mouth so no one could hear her breathe. A lavender comforter cascaded almost the floor, obscuring most of her vision. Yellow light from her window illuminated what she could see of the door.
She’d heard her mom’s boyfriend coming down the hall. The footsteps were muffled by carpet, but distinct. She wished it was her mom, but her mom didn’t make that much noise. It’d been too late to leave her room.
The footsteps stopped outside her door. She stopped breathing. She heard her own heartbeat, felt it beating faster and faster as the seconds ticked by.
The door opened. His bare feet crossed to her bed.
I shouldn’t have stayed in here. But where else could she sleep?
He cursed. He stepped back from the bed and took a small circle around her room, then left, leaving her door open. The hallway was a black mouth, waiting to devour her.
Heart still pounding, she counted off the seconds. She breathed through her mouth. She stayed still. Her heart started to slow, but she didn’t move. She waited longer than she thought it would take him to walk back to his room, longer than it would take him to fall asleep.
She waited.
Her neck hurt when she finally moved. She crawled out from under her bed and stood up.
He appeared in the doorway. She screamed. He moved toward her so quickly. He yanked her by the wrist back to her bed. She screamed over and over. He covered her mouth with his hand, but she bit him. Her heart pounded wildly.
He threw her with such force against the bed she saw stars. The room started to shake lightly.
“GET AWAY FROM HER!” Brooklyn’s mom appeared in the doorway. She brandished the bronze floor lamp from her bedroom.
Mom! Relief flood her.
He laughed. “You don’t have the nerve.”
Her mom’s boyfriend pulled at her pants. Panic set in. Nothing could save her.
Brooklyn’s mom screamed and lunged into the room. The boyfriend punched her, sending her staggering back.
The room began shaking more violently. Ballerina figurines fell off Brooklyn’s dresser and crashed to the floor. The boyfriend hesitated, looking around.
Books appeared to jump off the shelves toward them. Brooklyn ducked and ran toward her mom as books pelted the boyfriend from all sides. Blood dripped to the floor after one collided with his nose. Everything in the room seemed to be alive, spinning, breathing, dangerous.
The boyfriend’s cursing quieted when one hit him firmly in the back of the head. He dropped to the floor.
Brooklyn clutched her mom with wide eyes as everything but the furniture careened around the room.
“Run Brooklyn!” Her mom shoved her toward the door as the bronze lamp moved toward them. It made a sickening crack as it connected with her mom’s head.
Brooklyn screamed and flung herself at her mom’s body. Blood pooled around her head. Everything in the room continued to move. Her mom’s body was heavy. She pressed her head to her mom’s chest.
Her body was warm, but held no comforting heartbeat. Her chest didn’t move up and down. She grabbed her mom’s head, petted her hair. Blood covered Brooklyn’s fingers. She screamed again and clung to her mom’s body, tears running down her face. She stayed that way for a long time, chest heaving, sobs growing louder and louder.
At some point, everything in the room crashed to the floor. At some point, someone knocked on the door.
Brooklyn pulled herself up and answered it. Two policemen were at the door.
“We got a call about a domestic¬¬¬–” one of the policemen started to say. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Brooklyn said. She started crying again. “I d-don’t know.”
One of the policemen pointed to her hand. “Where did all that blood come from?” he asked.
She led them back to her room. She stopped at the doorway, kept her eyes on the floor. A shattered ballerina looked at her from the floor. She looked away.
If I hadn’t screamed, maybe that’d be me instead of her.
The police investigated, but unable to fully piece together what had happened. Brooklyn was too small to have caused the damage to either adult. She said no one else was there. There were whispers of something else, but Brooklyn tried not to listen. She ended up at a group home with three other kids.
“Make me!” the taller one said.
“But it’s miiiine!” yelled the younger one.
Brooklyn sighed. It was weird having other kids to worry about outside of school. They didn’t have the history that siblings would, but she had all of the responsibly of a sibling to make sure these idiots ended up home safely.
“If you don’t give it back to him, I’ll tell Stacy you were the one that peed in her bed last week,” Brooklyn said.
“Like she’d believe that!”
“Unlike you, I don’t make it a habit of lying to her all the time. She still believes what I say.”
“Fine, then–”
Three older boys near the end of the alley caught Brooklyn’s attention.
She dropped her voice, “Listen, let’s just go home and I’ll steal ice cream out of the garage freezer for both of you. Let’s just go.”
“No.” The older boy smiled.
“Either way.” She pushed them gently. The younger on moved, but the older one stood firmly.
“Come on, Danny! Let’s GO!” she whispered. “It’s not safe here.”
“You’re just trying to get back home because you know Stacy’ll be on your side.”
“That’s because I listen!” Brooklyn pushed him harder.
“Stop it!” Danny yelled, yanking his arm from her grasp.
“Drop your stuff,” said a voice from behind them.
Brooklyn bit her lip and turned around, her heart rate rising. Why couldn’t they just move?! She took a step forward, putting herself between the kids and the three hooligans.
“No way!” said Danny. “Make me!”
The shortest hooligan waved brown hair out of his face and smirked. “Have it your way.” He made a show of moving aside his jacket and pulling a six-inch knife from a sheath wrapped around his waist. The others followed suit.
Brooklyn swallowed back the ball rising up from her chest and threatening to strangle her. She had to keep it together for her “brothers.”
The other two were looking at her, their eyes wide. She set down her backpack.
“Your bracelet too,” said the blond hooligan.
Brooklyn fingered the charm bracelet her mother had gotten her for her eighth birthday.
“You can’t have that,” said the youngest orphan.
The short leader stepped, forward, waving his knife. Danny jumped forward and punched him in the stomach.
“You can’t hurt him!” Danny yelled.
“Danny!” Brooklyn screamed as the knife grazed the boy’s arm. A ribbon of blood instantly formed along the cut. The hooligan didn’t stop.
The ground gently rumbled below her feet. A trash bin behind her shook violently.
Brooklyn held her breath. It was happening again. The leader hooligan tripped over something and lost his balance. The knife flew into the air. It started spinning. It cut another line of blood on Danny’s arm before landing in the leader’s chest.
The guys stood there for a long moment, staring at the knife. His mouth was open, like he didn’t understand what was happening. Blood soaked his shirt. Brooklyn look up to see his friends running.
She grabbed Danny and the little’s hand and ran out of the alley, leaving her backpack behind.
When she got home, she took her “sister’s” purple backpack, dumped everything on the floor and surveyed her shared bedroom. She couldn’t carry much, so she’d have to make it count. She filled the backpack with clothing, snacks, water and A Little Princess, her favorite book.
She desperately wanted the happy ending the book had, but she didn’t even know who her father was so that was out of the question. “The state” certainly hadn’t been able to find him or anyone else related to her in their quest to find her a home.
She put aside the thought of family. She put aside the love she’d developed for the kids here. The best thing she could do for them was leave. Whatever had happened in her home and back in that alley, it seemed to be following her.
Danny caught her in the hallway.
“Where you going with Kelly’s backpack?” he asked.
“To the library…Got a test to study for,” she quickly.
“But it’s Friday. Can’t we play instead?” he asked.
She looked into his honey eyes and smiled. For a moment, the only thing she wanted to do was grab a ball and go play out back with him, pretend everything was okay.
“Maybe later.”
“Okay.” He drooped and walked slowly away. He turned back, “Promise?”
His look was so expectant, she wanted to be able to keep a promise like that.
“Promise,” she said breathily.
He walked away.
Brooklyn walked out the door. And never came back.
“You look like a guy not old enough to buy one,” she said, laughing.
The sun hung low over the river. She sat on a big rock in navy bikini. The rock was wet from people using it to launch themselves into the river. Her purple backpack was on the far edge of the rock, away from the water.
The boy lifted a camelback. “Is that any way to talk to someone bearing gifts?”
“There’s more?” she asked.
“Sure, I brought the gift of my company,” he said.
“Mhm.” She turned back toward the water. “Don’t ruin it.”
He dropped down next to her.
“I was kidding,” he said. “But you did look lonely up here by yourself.”
“So you came to rescue me, huh?”
“My civic duty.” He took a drink from the camelback.
“What’s in there anyway?” she asked.
“Actually, I’m not sure,” he said, inspecting the clear plastic tube filled with a light red beverage.
She laughed. “And yet you’re drinking it anyway.”
“It was given to me by a very trustworthy stranger.” He smiled, his eyes soft. “My buddy made it for our trip down the river today.”
“How’d that go?”
“We haven’t gone yet. For some reason, it takes an act of god to get 14 people out the door at a reasonable hour. My name is Zachary, by the way.”
“Brooklyn.”
“What are you doing here, Brooklyn?” he asked.
“Same as you. Out with friends, but mine got here around 10.”
She watched the way the water moved, always flowing, going forward. It was like life. You don’t get to go backward and you don’t get to hold onto more than you can carry.
“Where are they?” he asked, glancing around.
Most of the people nearby were on the rocky beach stretching out to their right. She gestured vaguely in their direction.
“Hooking up, sleeping, sunbathing.”
“Zach?” A short, blond girl appeared at the edge of the rock. Her expression was cautious. “You coming?”
“Is everyone actually here?” He said, looking back over his shoulder at her.
“Yes.” The girl didn’t even glance in Brooklyn’s direction. Brooklyn felt sorry for her. It was just as obvious this girl liked him as it was he had no idea.
“So, mysterious, lonely Brooklyn, you wanna come with us?”
“I’m mysterious now too?” She giggled.
“Well I’ll see you over there,” the girl said loudly. She hesitated, then walked away.
“Who’s that?” Brooklyn asked, nodding at the girl’s retreating figure.
“My buddy’s friend Heather. They hang out a lot.”
“She likes you.”
“She does not.” His face flushed.
“She does.”
“We should get going.”
“What makes you think I’m going?” Brooklyn raised her eyebrows, teasingly.
“Don’t ruin it.”
Brooklyn laughed and grabbed her backpack. “Come on. They’re waiting on you now.”
Brooklyn stood in the doorway of their apartment, watching Zachary sleep. His breaths were soft and even. He looked amazing, even in the dim light. She adjusted the strap of her backpack, willing herself to let go, to say goodbye. Three months was a long time to stay anywhere.
SunBun raced into the room and jumped onto Zach’s chest. He groaned and his hand felt around her side of the bed. He opened his eyes a little and found her standing there watching him.
“Are you okay, Babe?” Concern replaced his lazy, sleepy smile.
She closed her eyes. Walk away. It’s the right thing to do. Do for him.
“Come ‘ere,” he said, reaching toward her.
Her resolve broke. She walked toward him slowly, trying as discretely as possible to drop her backpack by the door, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said, crawling on top of him and rest her head on his chest. He wrapped both arms around her and she breathed in his scent. It was already her favorite. It was then that she realized she was in trouble.
The next day, when he went to work, she picked up her backpack again and forced herself to walk out of the house. It was dusk and it would be hours before he knew she was gone.
She pet SunBun goodbye. She locked the door behind her. She held the key close to her heart before heading for the stairs.
She jumped when she reached the landing. Zach was at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against a column with his arms crossed. His lips formed a thin line, wrinkles creased his forehead.
“I’m not stupid, Brooklyn.”
She raced down the last few stairs and threw her arms around him. Why was he making this so hard on her? His body was rigid. He refused to return her hug.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked. “I thought things were going really well.”
She closed her eyes, hoping words would come to her, something, anything that would shatter this moment into a thousand pieces. She couldn’t tell him the truth. She covered her face with her hands.
Zach pulled her hands away from her face and they locked eyes.
“You’re running from something, aren’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question.
“Yes.” She couldn’t tell him she was running from herself, but it was already more honest than ever been with anyone else.
“You’re safe here,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “I’ll protect you.”
Who will protect you?
“I c-can’t…Zach…”
She’d ended up telling him a version of the truth. How it’d be dangerous for him for her to stay. How the thing that was after her never left her alone for longer than six months at a time. How she didn’t want him to get hurt.
Then he smiled.
“What I’m hearing is we’ve got three more months,” he said.
Tears streamed down her face. He held her.
“Zach, I c–”
“Don’t ruin it.”
The smile wouldn’t leave her face. No one had ever made as big of a deal out of her birthday as Zach. Most of the time, she pretended she didn’t have one. It reminded her too much of her mom, but Zach had been too persistant.
They’d spent the day shopping. Not her usual kind of shopping with the five finger discount, no Zach had paid for everything. It didn’t matter what she picked up, he paid. At first, she’d tried to force his bluff with a $200 bottle of perfume, but when he hadn’t backed down, she started choosing more reasonably priced things. Which of course he noticed and called her out on.
They splashed through the fountain. He’d insisted she get her hair done. She’d given him a look. What guy on the planet thought of those kinds of things? But apparently, his sister had thought Brooklyn would love it. Tracy had been right. Brooklyn did love the way her curly, frizzy mess had been tamed into perfect, silky spirals.
They were both laughing as Zach opened the front door and pulled her into the apartment. He lifted her into the air, swung her around and set her down.
At that moment, the lights flipped on and a crowd of his family and their friends screamed, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKLYN!”
Adrenaline coursed through her. The room started to vibrate.
No!
She turned and ran as far as she could out the door and down the stairs. It would not be Zach, not his family, not their friends.
Not Zach. Not Zach. Not Zach.
Panic gripped her. Her heart pounded. Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Brooklyn!” Zach called from behind her. His long lengths carried him to her and he grabbed her arm. “Where are you going?”
The smile dropped from his face when he saw her tears.
“What’s wrong, Babe?” He pulled her into his arms.
Her eyes scanned the parking lot, but nothing moved here. She breathed out a shaky breath. She dropped her head into his chest.
“Our six months are up,” she whispered. Nothing he could say now would change her mind. The only way to keep him safe was to leave.
“What?” He lifted her chin so she’d look at him. “What’s going on? I thought you’d love this.” He looked from their apartment back to her.
“I do,” she whispered.
“Then why?”
She forced a smile to her lips.
“I’m just not used to people making this big a deal out of my birthday,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t call her out. “It reminds me of my mom.”
She hoped the dose of gilt or pity he might feel for her would overpower whatever questions were forming behind his honey eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Babe…” he whispered back. “We don’t have to go back up there, if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s okay. Everyone went through all the trouble.” She shrugged, but she could tell by the intensity of his gaze and the creased on his forehead that he wasn’t convinced.
She grabbed his hand and pulled him back toward the party.
“Don’t ruin it,” she said, forcing a smile to her lips. She would do what she needed to do to protect him. Anything she had to, to protect him.
“Tell you what, drinks are on me if I lose, you if I win.” One hand rested on her hip, the other on a pool cue. Brooklyn’s head was already a little fuzzy. They were lucky this place didn't check IDs.
Zachary put a hand on her other hip, pulling her toward him. Their mingled between them, smelling of cheap beer. “I can think of a better way to spend our time,” he whispered in her ear.
“You’re just trying to get out of the deal.” She pulled away, laughing. “Loser buys the winner as many drinks as she can handle.”
“Have it your way.” Zachary laughed. It was beautiful, so carefree she could almost forget how close everything was to changing.
Brooklyn racked the balls, lined up her cue and took her shot. A perfect break.
“I’m solid,” she said, swaying a bit.
“You sure are.” They both laughed.
A couple rounds later, Zachary hadn’t won a single one.
“Why do you torture yourself like this?” she asked. “You should just give up and buy me the bar.”
“If I did that, you wouldn’t need to come running to me every few minutes for a drink.” He walked over to her, his feet sticking to the faux hardwood. He put his arms around and breathed in her scent. “Have I won enough points to keep you?”
The smile slid from her lips and she turned toward the pool table.
“Stay with me? You might decide you like it here. You said the store here are better than the last few places you’ve been. We’ve got the river where we met and the best worst pool player you’ll ever meet.” He ran a hand over her hair, down her back.
She smiled for a moment, remembering how they’d met. She’d give anything to go back to that moment or to make this moment only a few weeks or a few days from that moment. But it wasn’t.
“You know I can’t do that,” she said quietly.
Six months was the longest period anyone had ever been safe around her, but she usually didn’t stay this long. Couldn't risk it. Someone might get hurt. Worse, she might get attached.
“Can’t or wont?” He let go of her. “You know one of these days when you’re ready to settle down, all the good places and people will be gone. Stay here. It’s nice here. There’s that fountain in the park. We can get a cherry tree and some flowers, spruce up the place. We can have a big party to celebrate you deciding to keep me. We’ll make a whole thing of it. I’m thinking we invite all our friends, my family and a priest. And we just stay there forever until there isn’t enough room for all the kids, which let’s face it is gonna be quick. We live in a one bedroom.”
The word “we” cut into her skin like ice. She looked into his beautiful grey eyes. For that moment, all she wanted was that party, those kids, but there was that gnawing sense under all of it that he was describing a fairytale, something that could never be. Like her finding her Little Princess ending.
“I’m not saying we do that all at once, but I think my cat needs some new things to pee on, so we should start with the plants.”
“Zach,” she said almost too softly for him to hear. “Don’t ruin it.” She downed both of their shots before looking back at him. “We both knew this was temporary when we started it. Why can’t it just be that fun thing we did for a while? I’m leaving in the morning. Is this really how you want to spend our last night together?”
He swallowed hard and looked at the floor before looking back at her. “Of course not.”
“Do you want to remember me forever as the girl you couldn’t outdrink? You’re already two shots behind.”
He forced a smile. “That’s because you drank mine. And anyway, that's not what I meant. Let’s get out of here.”
She moved her eyebrows up and down in a flirty way. “Sounds good.”
He grabbed her hand and took her to the very rock where he first saw her. She kept smiling, pretending she was fine, swallowing back tears, one at a time. He took her to the one spot in the world she couldn’t pretend leaving was okay. And somehow, that was perfect.
Five hours later, Brooklyn stood in the kitchen she’d grown to think of as hers. She yawned.
I have to go. Even as she told herself this, she had a hard time believing it. It’d been so long since anything bad had happened. Maybe all that stuff was gone, like bad luck she’d finally run out.
Thinking of Zachary asleep upstairs, knowing she’d never find anyone else like him was the reason she had to leave and the reason she didn’t want to the most.
She brushed aside memories of walks through the park fountain, hikes through the mountains, shoplifting at her favorite stores. Her throat hurt from swallowing back the tears, but each memory threatened to crush her and it was easier not to think of them at all.
She had already packed. Her worn, purple backpack was already on her back. She walked into the living room and pet their cat, Zachary’s cat.
“Goodbye, SunBun,” she said softly.
“The cat gets a goodbye but I don’t?” Zachary stood in the doorway, his arms folded across his chest. He pressed his lips tightly together.
“I thought it would be easier–”
“For you,”
“If our last moment together was happy,” she finished.
She moved toward him, wrapping her arms around him. He held her tightly for a long moment. He pressed a phone into her pocket.
“Wherever you go, you can always reach me. My number’s in there and I put a charger in your backpack last night,” he said softly.
“I can’t take this.” She handed it back to him. She didn’t trust herself not to call him. All the would keep her going was knowing she was protecting him. She couldn’t handle a life line, couldn’t promise herself he’d be safe that way. She’d tried so hard to make him like all the others, but he wasn’t.
“I know.” He held her again for long time. In her ear, he whispered,
“So I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Take your time I wont go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you
Oh and I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Come back to me...”
He squeezed her tightly. When he finally let go, they both had tears in their eyes. She’d tried to swallow all of hers, but there were too many.
He opened the door for her and stepped outside. Just before she turned away, he pulled her into a passionate kiss.
“I love you,” he whispered, “I will always be here for you. If you need me. Or if you ever cease your nomadic wanderings and need a place to rest. Promise me you’ll come back one day.”
“Promise.” The word broke on its way out and she turned away from him. Like the promise to Danny, it wasn’t one she intended on keeping, but she couldn’t say no to him.
She kept walking, letting the tears fall down her face and no caring who noticed. She usually tried to forget people the second they were gone from sight, but Zachary didn't disappear so easily.
She’d heard her mom’s boyfriend coming down the hall. The footsteps were muffled by carpet, but distinct. She wished it was her mom, but her mom didn’t make that much noise. It’d been too late to leave her room.
The footsteps stopped outside her door. She stopped breathing. She heard her own heartbeat, felt it beating faster and faster as the seconds ticked by.
The door opened. His bare feet crossed to her bed.
I shouldn’t have stayed in here. But where else could she sleep?
He cursed. He stepped back from the bed and took a small circle around her room, then left, leaving her door open. The hallway was a black mouth, waiting to devour her.
Heart still pounding, she counted off the seconds. She breathed through her mouth. She stayed still. Her heart started to slow, but she didn’t move. She waited longer than she thought it would take him to walk back to his room, longer than it would take him to fall asleep.
She waited.
Her neck hurt when she finally moved. She crawled out from under her bed and stood up.
He appeared in the doorway. She screamed. He moved toward her so quickly. He yanked her by the wrist back to her bed. She screamed over and over. He covered her mouth with his hand, but she bit him. Her heart pounded wildly.
He threw her with such force against the bed she saw stars. The room started to shake lightly.
“GET AWAY FROM HER!” Brooklyn’s mom appeared in the doorway. She brandished the bronze floor lamp from her bedroom.
Mom! Relief flood her.
He laughed. “You don’t have the nerve.”
Her mom’s boyfriend pulled at her pants. Panic set in. Nothing could save her.
Brooklyn’s mom screamed and lunged into the room. The boyfriend punched her, sending her staggering back.
The room began shaking more violently. Ballerina figurines fell off Brooklyn’s dresser and crashed to the floor. The boyfriend hesitated, looking around.
Books appeared to jump off the shelves toward them. Brooklyn ducked and ran toward her mom as books pelted the boyfriend from all sides. Blood dripped to the floor after one collided with his nose. Everything in the room seemed to be alive, spinning, breathing, dangerous.
The boyfriend’s cursing quieted when one hit him firmly in the back of the head. He dropped to the floor.
Brooklyn clutched her mom with wide eyes as everything but the furniture careened around the room.
“Run Brooklyn!” Her mom shoved her toward the door as the bronze lamp moved toward them. It made a sickening crack as it connected with her mom’s head.
Brooklyn screamed and flung herself at her mom’s body. Blood pooled around her head. Everything in the room continued to move. Her mom’s body was heavy. She pressed her head to her mom’s chest.
Her body was warm, but held no comforting heartbeat. Her chest didn’t move up and down. She grabbed her mom’s head, petted her hair. Blood covered Brooklyn’s fingers. She screamed again and clung to her mom’s body, tears running down her face. She stayed that way for a long time, chest heaving, sobs growing louder and louder.
At some point, everything in the room crashed to the floor. At some point, someone knocked on the door.
Brooklyn pulled herself up and answered it. Two policemen were at the door.
“We got a call about a domestic¬¬¬–” one of the policemen started to say. “What happened?”
“I don’t know,” Brooklyn said. She started crying again. “I d-don’t know.”
One of the policemen pointed to her hand. “Where did all that blood come from?” he asked.
She led them back to her room. She stopped at the doorway, kept her eyes on the floor. A shattered ballerina looked at her from the floor. She looked away.
If I hadn’t screamed, maybe that’d be me instead of her.
The police investigated, but unable to fully piece together what had happened. Brooklyn was too small to have caused the damage to either adult. She said no one else was there. There were whispers of something else, but Brooklyn tried not to listen. She ended up at a group home with three other kids.
~Three years later~
“Give it back.” Brooklyn stood between two boys from her group home. They stood in a wide alley lined with brick buildings a few blocks from their “home.”
“Make me!” the taller one said.
“But it’s miiiine!” yelled the younger one.
Brooklyn sighed. It was weird having other kids to worry about outside of school. They didn’t have the history that siblings would, but she had all of the responsibly of a sibling to make sure these idiots ended up home safely.
“If you don’t give it back to him, I’ll tell Stacy you were the one that peed in her bed last week,” Brooklyn said.
“Like she’d believe that!”
“Unlike you, I don’t make it a habit of lying to her all the time. She still believes what I say.”
“Fine, then–”
Three older boys near the end of the alley caught Brooklyn’s attention.
She dropped her voice, “Listen, let’s just go home and I’ll steal ice cream out of the garage freezer for both of you. Let’s just go.”
“No.” The older boy smiled.
“Either way.” She pushed them gently. The younger on moved, but the older one stood firmly.
“Come on, Danny! Let’s GO!” she whispered. “It’s not safe here.”
“You’re just trying to get back home because you know Stacy’ll be on your side.”
“That’s because I listen!” Brooklyn pushed him harder.
“Stop it!” Danny yelled, yanking his arm from her grasp.
“Drop your stuff,” said a voice from behind them.
Brooklyn bit her lip and turned around, her heart rate rising. Why couldn’t they just move?! She took a step forward, putting herself between the kids and the three hooligans.
“No way!” said Danny. “Make me!”
The shortest hooligan waved brown hair out of his face and smirked. “Have it your way.” He made a show of moving aside his jacket and pulling a six-inch knife from a sheath wrapped around his waist. The others followed suit.
Brooklyn swallowed back the ball rising up from her chest and threatening to strangle her. She had to keep it together for her “brothers.”
The other two were looking at her, their eyes wide. She set down her backpack.
“Your bracelet too,” said the blond hooligan.
Brooklyn fingered the charm bracelet her mother had gotten her for her eighth birthday.
“You can’t have that,” said the youngest orphan.
The short leader stepped, forward, waving his knife. Danny jumped forward and punched him in the stomach.
“You can’t hurt him!” Danny yelled.
“Danny!” Brooklyn screamed as the knife grazed the boy’s arm. A ribbon of blood instantly formed along the cut. The hooligan didn’t stop.
The ground gently rumbled below her feet. A trash bin behind her shook violently.
Brooklyn held her breath. It was happening again. The leader hooligan tripped over something and lost his balance. The knife flew into the air. It started spinning. It cut another line of blood on Danny’s arm before landing in the leader’s chest.
The guys stood there for a long moment, staring at the knife. His mouth was open, like he didn’t understand what was happening. Blood soaked his shirt. Brooklyn look up to see his friends running.
She grabbed Danny and the little’s hand and ran out of the alley, leaving her backpack behind.
When she got home, she took her “sister’s” purple backpack, dumped everything on the floor and surveyed her shared bedroom. She couldn’t carry much, so she’d have to make it count. She filled the backpack with clothing, snacks, water and A Little Princess, her favorite book.
She desperately wanted the happy ending the book had, but she didn’t even know who her father was so that was out of the question. “The state” certainly hadn’t been able to find him or anyone else related to her in their quest to find her a home.
She put aside the thought of family. She put aside the love she’d developed for the kids here. The best thing she could do for them was leave. Whatever had happened in her home and back in that alley, it seemed to be following her.
Danny caught her in the hallway.
“Where you going with Kelly’s backpack?” he asked.
“To the library…Got a test to study for,” she quickly.
“But it’s Friday. Can’t we play instead?” he asked.
She looked into his honey eyes and smiled. For a moment, the only thing she wanted to do was grab a ball and go play out back with him, pretend everything was okay.
“Maybe later.”
“Okay.” He drooped and walked slowly away. He turned back, “Promise?”
His look was so expectant, she wanted to be able to keep a promise like that.
“Promise,” she said breathily.
He walked away.
Brooklyn walked out the door. And never came back.
~Seven years later~
“You look like a girl who needs a drink.” He was tall, toned and hot.
“You look like a guy not old enough to buy one,” she said, laughing.
The sun hung low over the river. She sat on a big rock in navy bikini. The rock was wet from people using it to launch themselves into the river. Her purple backpack was on the far edge of the rock, away from the water.
The boy lifted a camelback. “Is that any way to talk to someone bearing gifts?”
“There’s more?” she asked.
“Sure, I brought the gift of my company,” he said.
“Mhm.” She turned back toward the water. “Don’t ruin it.”
He dropped down next to her.
“I was kidding,” he said. “But you did look lonely up here by yourself.”
“So you came to rescue me, huh?”
“My civic duty.” He took a drink from the camelback.
“What’s in there anyway?” she asked.
“Actually, I’m not sure,” he said, inspecting the clear plastic tube filled with a light red beverage.
She laughed. “And yet you’re drinking it anyway.”
“It was given to me by a very trustworthy stranger.” He smiled, his eyes soft. “My buddy made it for our trip down the river today.”
“How’d that go?”
“We haven’t gone yet. For some reason, it takes an act of god to get 14 people out the door at a reasonable hour. My name is Zachary, by the way.”
“Brooklyn.”
“What are you doing here, Brooklyn?” he asked.
“Same as you. Out with friends, but mine got here around 10.”
She watched the way the water moved, always flowing, going forward. It was like life. You don’t get to go backward and you don’t get to hold onto more than you can carry.
“Where are they?” he asked, glancing around.
Most of the people nearby were on the rocky beach stretching out to their right. She gestured vaguely in their direction.
“Hooking up, sleeping, sunbathing.”
“Zach?” A short, blond girl appeared at the edge of the rock. Her expression was cautious. “You coming?”
“Is everyone actually here?” He said, looking back over his shoulder at her.
“Yes.” The girl didn’t even glance in Brooklyn’s direction. Brooklyn felt sorry for her. It was just as obvious this girl liked him as it was he had no idea.
“So, mysterious, lonely Brooklyn, you wanna come with us?”
“I’m mysterious now too?” She giggled.
“Well I’ll see you over there,” the girl said loudly. She hesitated, then walked away.
“Who’s that?” Brooklyn asked, nodding at the girl’s retreating figure.
“My buddy’s friend Heather. They hang out a lot.”
“She likes you.”
“She does not.” His face flushed.
“She does.”
“We should get going.”
“What makes you think I’m going?” Brooklyn raised her eyebrows, teasingly.
“Don’t ruin it.”
Brooklyn laughed and grabbed her backpack. “Come on. They’re waiting on you now.”
~ Six Months Later~
Brooklyn stood in the doorway of their apartment, watching Zachary sleep. His breaths were soft and even. He looked amazing, even in the dim light. She adjusted the strap of her backpack, willing herself to let go, to say goodbye. Three months was a long time to stay anywhere.
SunBun raced into the room and jumped onto Zach’s chest. He groaned and his hand felt around her side of the bed. He opened his eyes a little and found her standing there watching him.
“Are you okay, Babe?” Concern replaced his lazy, sleepy smile.
She closed her eyes. Walk away. It’s the right thing to do. Do for him.
“Come ‘ere,” he said, reaching toward her.
Her resolve broke. She walked toward him slowly, trying as discretely as possible to drop her backpack by the door, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she said, crawling on top of him and rest her head on his chest. He wrapped both arms around her and she breathed in his scent. It was already her favorite. It was then that she realized she was in trouble.
The next day, when he went to work, she picked up her backpack again and forced herself to walk out of the house. It was dusk and it would be hours before he knew she was gone.
She pet SunBun goodbye. She locked the door behind her. She held the key close to her heart before heading for the stairs.
She jumped when she reached the landing. Zach was at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against a column with his arms crossed. His lips formed a thin line, wrinkles creased his forehead.
“I’m not stupid, Brooklyn.”
She raced down the last few stairs and threw her arms around him. Why was he making this so hard on her? His body was rigid. He refused to return her hug.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked. “I thought things were going really well.”
She closed her eyes, hoping words would come to her, something, anything that would shatter this moment into a thousand pieces. She couldn’t tell him the truth. She covered her face with her hands.
Zach pulled her hands away from her face and they locked eyes.
“You’re running from something, aren’t you?” It was more of a statement than a question.
“Yes.” She couldn’t tell him she was running from herself, but it was already more honest than ever been with anyone else.
“You’re safe here,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “I’ll protect you.”
Who will protect you?
“I c-can’t…Zach…”
She’d ended up telling him a version of the truth. How it’d be dangerous for him for her to stay. How the thing that was after her never left her alone for longer than six months at a time. How she didn’t want him to get hurt.
Then he smiled.
“What I’m hearing is we’ve got three more months,” he said.
Tears streamed down her face. He held her.
“Zach, I c–”
“Don’t ruin it.”
~ Two Days Later ~
The smile wouldn’t leave her face. No one had ever made as big of a deal out of her birthday as Zach. Most of the time, she pretended she didn’t have one. It reminded her too much of her mom, but Zach had been too persistant.
They’d spent the day shopping. Not her usual kind of shopping with the five finger discount, no Zach had paid for everything. It didn’t matter what she picked up, he paid. At first, she’d tried to force his bluff with a $200 bottle of perfume, but when he hadn’t backed down, she started choosing more reasonably priced things. Which of course he noticed and called her out on.
They splashed through the fountain. He’d insisted she get her hair done. She’d given him a look. What guy on the planet thought of those kinds of things? But apparently, his sister had thought Brooklyn would love it. Tracy had been right. Brooklyn did love the way her curly, frizzy mess had been tamed into perfect, silky spirals.
They were both laughing as Zach opened the front door and pulled her into the apartment. He lifted her into the air, swung her around and set her down.
At that moment, the lights flipped on and a crowd of his family and their friends screamed, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKLYN!”
Adrenaline coursed through her. The room started to vibrate.
No!
She turned and ran as far as she could out the door and down the stairs. It would not be Zach, not his family, not their friends.
Not Zach. Not Zach. Not Zach.
Panic gripped her. Her heart pounded. Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Brooklyn!” Zach called from behind her. His long lengths carried him to her and he grabbed her arm. “Where are you going?”
The smile dropped from his face when he saw her tears.
“What’s wrong, Babe?” He pulled her into his arms.
Her eyes scanned the parking lot, but nothing moved here. She breathed out a shaky breath. She dropped her head into his chest.
“Our six months are up,” she whispered. Nothing he could say now would change her mind. The only way to keep him safe was to leave.
“What?” He lifted her chin so she’d look at him. “What’s going on? I thought you’d love this.” He looked from their apartment back to her.
“I do,” she whispered.
“Then why?”
She forced a smile to her lips.
“I’m just not used to people making this big a deal out of my birthday,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t call her out. “It reminds me of my mom.”
She hoped the dose of gilt or pity he might feel for her would overpower whatever questions were forming behind his honey eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Babe…” he whispered back. “We don’t have to go back up there, if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s okay. Everyone went through all the trouble.” She shrugged, but she could tell by the intensity of his gaze and the creased on his forehead that he wasn’t convinced.
She grabbed his hand and pulled him back toward the party.
“Don’t ruin it,” she said, forcing a smile to her lips. She would do what she needed to do to protect him. Anything she had to, to protect him.
~Six months later~
“Tell you what, drinks are on me if I lose, you if I win.” One hand rested on her hip, the other on a pool cue. Brooklyn’s head was already a little fuzzy. They were lucky this place didn't check IDs.
Zachary put a hand on her other hip, pulling her toward him. Their mingled between them, smelling of cheap beer. “I can think of a better way to spend our time,” he whispered in her ear.
“You’re just trying to get out of the deal.” She pulled away, laughing. “Loser buys the winner as many drinks as she can handle.”
“Have it your way.” Zachary laughed. It was beautiful, so carefree she could almost forget how close everything was to changing.
Brooklyn racked the balls, lined up her cue and took her shot. A perfect break.
“I’m solid,” she said, swaying a bit.
“You sure are.” They both laughed.
A couple rounds later, Zachary hadn’t won a single one.
“Why do you torture yourself like this?” she asked. “You should just give up and buy me the bar.”
“If I did that, you wouldn’t need to come running to me every few minutes for a drink.” He walked over to her, his feet sticking to the faux hardwood. He put his arms around and breathed in her scent. “Have I won enough points to keep you?”
The smile slid from her lips and she turned toward the pool table.
“Stay with me? You might decide you like it here. You said the store here are better than the last few places you’ve been. We’ve got the river where we met and the best worst pool player you’ll ever meet.” He ran a hand over her hair, down her back.
She smiled for a moment, remembering how they’d met. She’d give anything to go back to that moment or to make this moment only a few weeks or a few days from that moment. But it wasn’t.
“You know I can’t do that,” she said quietly.
Six months was the longest period anyone had ever been safe around her, but she usually didn’t stay this long. Couldn't risk it. Someone might get hurt. Worse, she might get attached.
“Can’t or wont?” He let go of her. “You know one of these days when you’re ready to settle down, all the good places and people will be gone. Stay here. It’s nice here. There’s that fountain in the park. We can get a cherry tree and some flowers, spruce up the place. We can have a big party to celebrate you deciding to keep me. We’ll make a whole thing of it. I’m thinking we invite all our friends, my family and a priest. And we just stay there forever until there isn’t enough room for all the kids, which let’s face it is gonna be quick. We live in a one bedroom.”
The word “we” cut into her skin like ice. She looked into his beautiful grey eyes. For that moment, all she wanted was that party, those kids, but there was that gnawing sense under all of it that he was describing a fairytale, something that could never be. Like her finding her Little Princess ending.
“I’m not saying we do that all at once, but I think my cat needs some new things to pee on, so we should start with the plants.”
“Zach,” she said almost too softly for him to hear. “Don’t ruin it.” She downed both of their shots before looking back at him. “We both knew this was temporary when we started it. Why can’t it just be that fun thing we did for a while? I’m leaving in the morning. Is this really how you want to spend our last night together?”
He swallowed hard and looked at the floor before looking back at her. “Of course not.”
“Do you want to remember me forever as the girl you couldn’t outdrink? You’re already two shots behind.”
He forced a smile. “That’s because you drank mine. And anyway, that's not what I meant. Let’s get out of here.”
She moved her eyebrows up and down in a flirty way. “Sounds good.”
He grabbed her hand and took her to the very rock where he first saw her. She kept smiling, pretending she was fine, swallowing back tears, one at a time. He took her to the one spot in the world she couldn’t pretend leaving was okay. And somehow, that was perfect.
Five hours later, Brooklyn stood in the kitchen she’d grown to think of as hers. She yawned.
I have to go. Even as she told herself this, she had a hard time believing it. It’d been so long since anything bad had happened. Maybe all that stuff was gone, like bad luck she’d finally run out.
Thinking of Zachary asleep upstairs, knowing she’d never find anyone else like him was the reason she had to leave and the reason she didn’t want to the most.
She brushed aside memories of walks through the park fountain, hikes through the mountains, shoplifting at her favorite stores. Her throat hurt from swallowing back the tears, but each memory threatened to crush her and it was easier not to think of them at all.
She had already packed. Her worn, purple backpack was already on her back. She walked into the living room and pet their cat, Zachary’s cat.
“Goodbye, SunBun,” she said softly.
“The cat gets a goodbye but I don’t?” Zachary stood in the doorway, his arms folded across his chest. He pressed his lips tightly together.
“I thought it would be easier–”
“For you,”
“If our last moment together was happy,” she finished.
She moved toward him, wrapping her arms around him. He held her tightly for a long moment. He pressed a phone into her pocket.
“Wherever you go, you can always reach me. My number’s in there and I put a charger in your backpack last night,” he said softly.
“I can’t take this.” She handed it back to him. She didn’t trust herself not to call him. All the would keep her going was knowing she was protecting him. She couldn’t handle a life line, couldn’t promise herself he’d be safe that way. She’d tried so hard to make him like all the others, but he wasn’t.
“I know.” He held her again for long time. In her ear, he whispered,
“So I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Take your time I wont go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you
Oh and I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Come back to me...”
He squeezed her tightly. When he finally let go, they both had tears in their eyes. She’d tried to swallow all of hers, but there were too many.
He opened the door for her and stepped outside. Just before she turned away, he pulled her into a passionate kiss.
“I love you,” he whispered, “I will always be here for you. If you need me. Or if you ever cease your nomadic wanderings and need a place to rest. Promise me you’ll come back one day.”
“Promise.” The word broke on its way out and she turned away from him. Like the promise to Danny, it wasn’t one she intended on keeping, but she couldn’t say no to him.
She kept walking, letting the tears fall down her face and no caring who noticed. She usually tried to forget people the second they were gone from sight, but Zachary didn't disappear so easily.
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