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Fantasy G ro w t h |younghaunting/ebb| RP |

ebb

Senior Member



"Shanks of slate fall to the beach
Wrapped in life in ultra greens
Pools teem with tiny feet

And whorls of tired anemones"





Luke fell into bliss. Sunlight broke through the branches above and bathed his face in a soft glow. The temperature was a comfortable cool, so he’d removed his outer jacket and used it as a barrier between the bristly grass and his legs. Scattered along the side of the trail, the rest of the group divided into clusters. They’d taken a break from the hike to eat the food organized by the guide. On the other side of the path, a steep drop off provided the perfect vantage point of the forest. It stretched on for miles- rich in hues of green and blue. Every few minutes, a party of birds broke from the trees and danced in the air before settling onto stoops. The smaller ones decorating the leaves around the group boasted intricate chirps and rendered the music on his phone meaningless. They were the forest’s own unique playlist.



When his family first mentioned the program, he’d fought it. It seemed like a pointless idea. Yet, now that he was free of the overwhelming stress of the city, he was glad that he came. On his left, three members of the hike spoke loudly, joking and laughing freely. He chimed in from time to time, but being out of his comfort zone amplified the dissociation he occasionally experienced. When he was in normal situation, he could keep it under control. But, when he was encountered new things, they could be tough to process. The feeling of being out of his body made it difficult to follow the conversation- or care about it.

Thankfully, the tour guide broke the cliques by stumbling down the trail. The grayed, middle aged man was out of breath and glazed with sweat. His wide brimmed hat was askew on his head and his face read with barely concealed panic. He’d left the group to scout ahead fifteen minutes ago, with the instruction to stay put. “So, guys,” he exclaimed, arms swinging wide. “We’re a little off course, but that’s okay. We’re not far out enough that we have anything to worry about.” One of the girls sitting in his group clearly wasn’t having it. She stood up, twisting her long hair behind her head. “Umm- shouldn’t you like know the way? Don’t you guys do this walk like a thousand times a year?” The entire group was silent, asking themselves the same thing. They stared at the guide, waiting for a reasonable answer.

“Listen, listen,” he panted. “If we head south, there’s no way we’re not getting back within an hour. Even if we overshoot the facility, there’s a city not far off from that. Worse case, we just get to enjoy the forest for a little longer.” He laughed it off, wiping off his shoulders like he was trying to smear away the tension. Luke worked to process this. It seemed highly unprofessional to just get lost when you were paying a program to find yourself. Especially when it was the one thing he didn’t want to happen. Grimacing with anxiety, he gathered his belongings, trying to tune out the constant rumble of complaints from his peers.

“This is bullshit,” he mumbled to the person walking next to him, rubbing his forehead with his free hand.

 

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naleye-3.jpgnaleye-3.jpg
Basics​
cecillius haas
cEk-ill-us
blind hare
twenty
cis-male
panromantic asexual
dutch, vietnamese, somali
student/ barista
naleye dolmans
6'0
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History​
From the start Cecillius was bold and enthusiastic, eager to befriend those he met. This extraversion persisted through most of his childhood, an optimistic view of the world and the people in it, a keen intent to explore through relationships and connections. But it began to wane in early adolescence. Cecillius was lucky enough to never have anything deeply traumatic happen to him, but the subtle judgement of peers and strain of school put a dampen on his energy. He was as friendly as before, but a churning anxiety began to fester inside of him.

The anxiety was to eventually develop into what Cecillius referred to as his intrusive thoughts- vile images that were conjured in the mind, always violent in nature, the worst acts he could imagine. These thoughts made Cecillius begin to doubt his own mind, his own morals. They created a cold destruction in his life. Despite deeply disturbing Cecillius they were something neither his siblings nor parents could comprehend. They simply didn't get how Cecillius could become so upset from mere thoughts. Cecillius was expected to carry on as normal, finally getting some therapy sessions once a week after long conversations persuading his family.

But it wasn't enough, and he needed something stronger to relieve the pain, so he turned to substance abuse. Like most he started off small, what people called 'gate way' drugs, but he quickly progressed to more dangerous substances. It was after an emergency visit to the hospital that he was submitted to a rehab ward, and after that a psych ward, where he met blank. In the albeit shitty education stations in this wards, with the assistance of his psychologists, he managed to find an outlet to escape from his mind. Mathematics. Cecillius was always skilled in maths from the get-go, but in the hospital he rekindled his love for it. Maths was objective, disconnected from anything that could be manipulated into horror, something he could always rely on. After he was discharged Cecillicus pursued a mathematics major at a university. His family, delighted he had chosen something ambitious, and now understanding because of their talks with the therapists, were very encouraging. This is why they were careful to dote on Cecillius' mental health, so after the first year at uni booked him a therapeutic vacation deep in the forests. Truthfully Cecillius wasn't a huge fan of nature, but he could see how the vacation would help him and was thankful that his family cared. And so he agreed to go.

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Personality​
campaigner- enfp- t

✓ curious ✓ astute ✓ motivated ✓ kind

✗ sensitive ✗ naive ✗ emotional ✗ short attention-span

weaknesses/fears

Violence/gore- because of the content of his intrusive thoughts Cecillius can't stand anything that might trigger them. As a result he tends to avoid violence or blood in everything he consumes, from the tv and movies he watches, to his food (he's a vegetarian), to what he reads or listens to. Once an intrusive thought gets in his head it starts to circulate and possess him, till the point where it's sometimes so debilitating that he can't function (e.g. eat or brush his teeth). He currently takes a very high dose of an SSRI, which does block the thoughts somewhat successfully. When he is confronted with anything of the nature of his thoughts he is completely incapacitated.

Push over- unfortunately not everyone is as good natured as Cecillius, and his kind and friendly demeanour is easy to take advantage of. Despite having experiences of the sort before his defences towards this kind of behaviour has not improved over the years, and even when it may be blatantly obvious that someone's intentions are not pure he will always keep an open mind and assume the best of people. Because of his fragile state he is also easy to manipulate.

Spiders- as common as it is Cecillius isn't a huge fan of spiders. His arachnophobia is as shallow as most however and isn't connected to some traumatic event with an eight legged fiend. Although he respects spiders and would never kill them he gets a little flighty when they're near.

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coded by myfanwy myfanwy
 
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Basics​
saba karim
finds nicknames disrespectful
twenty one
cis-female
bisexual, female preference
dutch, egyptian, moroccan
muslim
horticulturist
imaan hamaam
5'10 1/2
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History​
Ever since Saba can remember she has wanted to die. Her family were very supportive, her father having dealt with mental illness of his own. Saba believes that without their support she wouldn't still be alive. When she was young the feeling was just very prominent; she never acted upon it. It wasn't until she was seven years old and tried to jump off a bridge she used on the way home from school it became life threatening. Luckily, the bridge wasn't very high, and she survived with a few broken bones and months in hospital. Being so young the doctors weren't familiar with children of her age wanting to hurt themselves, and as a shy child she never revealed that the jump was deliberate. The railing over the bridge was low, so they assumed she had simply fallen.

She didn't attempt again for a couple of years, continuing her life quietly suicidal. At ten she tumbled down the stairs, and again it was seen as simply an accident. It wasn't until she was eleven and dug two long vertical gouges in both her wrists that the doctors started talking to her. Her parents were horrified when she revealed this feeling had started so early on, and felt remorse for not realising earlier. But they were assured they weren't to blame, and Saba went into treatment.

Saba has been in and out of psychiatric wards and hospitals since. Despite her family's adamant support she felt incredible guilt for putting such a weight on them and causing the anxiety she did, consequently only wanting to rid herself further. She had found it very difficult getting an education being constantly institutionalised, something she was ashamed of although she would't admit to it. Regardless Saba is very intelligent, and did try to continue her learning as much as she could. In one of her wards she found that gardening was very soothing and distracting for her, soil being theorised as having a natural antidepressant quality after all, and when home she worked in several plant shops and florists. This ignited her love for nature, and her inpatient rooms would always be teeming with plants from across the globe. So naturally, she was delighted when Cecillius invited her to join him on a therapeutic hiking retreat deep in the forest.

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Personality​
logistician istj-a

✓ reflective ✓ caring ✓ resilient ✓consistent

✗ self-flagellating ✗ shy ✗ apathetic ✗ bitter

weaknesses/ fears

Heights - because of her past attempts Saba has an aversion to heights, experiencing vertigo when near a steep drop. Before her falls she was surprisingly indifferent from being far from the ground, but since she can not go near a drop without the feeling of rising panic. She doesn't have an official diagnoses of acrophobia but would probably pass as phobic.

Eternity- maybe not a completely grounded fear, but Saba cannot imagine anything worse than limbo or a never-ending loop of time. Everything has to end, and she comforts in this reality, the opposite evoking only distress. There is no greater torture than having to relive something again and again without release.

Holds back- though it would never being something she'd admit to, living life as closeted as it has had to be- institutionalised for her own safety- she has not reached the potential she could. One, because she has not had the resources, but primarily because she is too afraid. She is scared that if she goes out into the world and explores it as she really wants to, she will get hurt. Saba feels like her time is just a clock ticking down to her demise, whether that is the death of a life not lived or when she finally completes what she has been attempting from the beginning.

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coded by myfanwy myfanwy
 
The group paused momentarily. Cecillilus struck up into a stretch, easing his aching muscles. He wasn't used to walking this much, ever. The soles of his feet were starting to ache and his calfs hurt. But supposedly it would help in the long term. Nature was good for the mind, and he appreciated the grand beauty of the forest. It spread out before him like a lush tapestry, the air fresh with the scent of pine and traces of dew. A soft accompany of sun and comfortable cool caressed his bare arms and warmed the nape of his neck. He tried his best to focus on these sensations. Truthfully, walking or any kind of straight-forward labour was something he generally avoided. With his condition, it was the perfect breeding ground for intrusive thoughts. Nothing to occupy his mind, just a vastness of space that slowly became invaded, crude images worming themselves into his mind's eye. Like colonies of bacteria. The neurotic train of thought that followed as he tried to regain control, obsessively checking his thoughts, again and again, once again for measure, no, you imagined the previous, check again.

Again.
This is why he chose mathematics. Demanding his attention to focus on one linear task, too abstract to be contaminated. He wondered why he even accepted this invitation. To please his parents he supposed, they had only barely accepted his condition as an illness rather than fault of personality, the 'compassion' he was receiving was sparse and if he didn't respond appropriately they'd think he was taking them for granted. He looked at Saba beside him, quietly walking with her mind somewhere else. She enjoyed it at least, which was a comfort. Saba didn't show it but Cecillius knew his friend well enough to know when she was happy.
Cecillius was brought back to reality with a voice to the left of him. "I guess you could say it's a part of the experience." He chuckled. The comment was genuine, as despite not really enjoying it himself he tended to lean towards a more optimistic mindset. Glancing over to the guy he had adressed he smiled in what he knew was a warm and welcoming manner. Talking would distract him. "At least the weather is pleasant."
 
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"At least the weather is pleasant."


“Sure, you’re right,” Luke laughed. While he was glad the stranger was spreading some positivity, he struggled to share the sentiment. The group grumbled like bears as they trudged forwards, and he felt the same. He tightened the straps of his backpack, to feel more secure and ready for whatever lay down the trail. “It’s true that we’re fortunate to be out here, it is pretty nice.” Watching the bobbing head of the tour guide, a sliver of irritation crept back in. “But you have to admit, we’re paying to be safe while we’re out here, and I don’t feel safe. If I just wanted to hike out in bumfuck nowhere, not knowing where I was, I could’ve done that on my own.” Luke had always been good with directions, which was great for his current driving job. Throwing on a smile and an air of confidence was all you needed to make people comfortable, so he couldn’t understand why their guide was struggling so much. His focus was hogged by the uncertainty that came with being lost.

“Why wouldn’t you feel safe?” A small girl butted in, her hiking gear consisting of colorfully stylish outdoor wear. “We’re in a huge group! Plus, it’s so beautiful out here, I don’t ever want to leave,” her laugh danced in a high note. “Glad to see not everyone here is a huge downer,” she addressed the stranger. “I’m Stella by the way, and you are?” Luke was saved the disappointment of being cut out of the conversation by an excited yell from the tour guide.

Up ahead, the silhouette of the facility loomed through the dusk, the V shaped roofs poking through the treetops. He could’ve sworn that the trail had began from the opposite direction, but he wasn’t paying that close attention as they left. The clearing was silent and echoey, the musty scent of old wood competing with the natural earthy scents of the soil. The crack of snapping twigs underfoot was the only sound, which was strange considering there were several other groups borrowing the space. The guide went straight for the nearest door, halting in his tracks when he found the door locked shut. Grunting, he tried the other door, with no luck. He wiped the muck off the glass with his shirtsleeve, cupping his face to peer inside. Somehow, Luke felt like he hadn't noticed how dirty the place was. Weird.

Waiting for the guide to hail down another employee, Luke sat heavily on one of the benches scattered around the clearing. The table was speckled with lichen and dirt, cracked were the wood decayed over time. Stella followed him to the table, her red hair curling around her shoulders. She waved the other boy over, stealing her spot on the far side. “This is all such a great adventure,” Stella gushed. “I feel so much inspiration out here! Once I get home, I’m going to design a whole line based on the simple efficiency of nature. It’s such an amazing system when you think about it. Everything is connected and supports each other,” she sighed romantically. “I can see why the program chose this place- I can tell it’s really healing.”

He felt it was draining him faster by the second.
 
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Saba was in her own world, pleasantly engaged with the flora of the forest. As they walked she scanned their surroundings, ID'ing various plants and scribbling them down in her small notebook. Once they got to the base she planned to go to the outskirts of the woods and collect some samples she could grow back at home, by either attaining seed heads or grafts for plants that lacked the former. Occasionally when she saw a particularly interesting specimen she would grab a snapshot with her phone to save for later. Often when she performed these action she felt a subtle apathy overwhelming her, but still she persisted and felt content generally. Sometimes she even caught herself feeling quite happy. She supposed this would be good stuff to talk to her therapist about, and made a mental note.

“It’s true that we’re fortunate to be out here, it is pretty nice.”
Saba looked up to see Cecillius nod in agreement. He was talking to a ginger boy that paced to the left of them. She listened contently, not chipping in, as Cecillius laughed at the boy's comment. Whilst not possessing an associated phobia with socialisation, by nature she wasn't particularly eager to engage in conversation with whomever she just met, the opposite of Cecillius. That was his energy source, his power and motivation. Talking to others, finding a connection. In comparison Saba was quiet, preferring to be the silent counterpart and find her inspiration elsewhere. People were just tiring.
"I'm sure we'll be fine, maybe the tour guide is just new to this path," Cecillius replied. She could tell that Cecilius wasn't bothered in the least, but noticed by his words that the other guy seemed slightly nervous of their situation. Saba didn't mind the delay, like Cecillius she was happy to stay out longer- it meant more time to admire their surroundings and the plants. She doubted they'd get lost, though the forest was huge and expansive judging by the reviews of this place it seemed unlike them to make a mistake like that. Her gaze wandered off to the azure blue sky, glints of it appearing between the network of branches and lush leaves, so bright and radiant in comparison to the shadowed canopy of the
trees her thoughts went momentarily to those dull rocks that were cracked open to reveal glistening crusts of crystal.
Jumping a little at the entrance of a new person, a bubbly girl with an excitable demeanour, Saba started yet a second time as she lay eyes on their fresh acquaintance. She was dressed in bright colourful clothes, with scarlet red hair and rimmed glasses, and looked a little older than Saba and Cecil. Saba felt something stir within her as her gaze lingered on the girl's bright red lips, but she swiftly quelled the feeling, for reasons she didn't really know. Cecillius was just about to address their new friend, who introduced herself formally as Stella, before the group's attention was caught off guard by a loud shout. They slowed in the eerie silence of the clearing, quietly watching as the guide attempted to open two of the closest doors to the facility, both locked shut. Many in the group shared mild expressions of dissatisfaction and Saba exchanged a perplexed look with Cecillius, who perked an eyebrow and shrugged idly. Something was off, and the feeling weighed heavy, illustrated by the sudden noiselessness that cloaked them. People shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot and Saba noticed that the group weren't the only ones who had gone silent. She could no longer hear the birds, or even the sound of the wind shifting between the leaves. Everything was still and a static energy seemed to have engulfed them. She felt a chill clutch her skin and shuddered.
The dread eased a little as she and Cecillius were called over to sit at an old bench with Stella and the ginger kid. She sat slowly, cautious. The bench didn't look in good shape, and the wood was soft and damp. She scratched at crud absentmindedly as Cecillius leaned over and swept off the layers of debris that had collected on the table and seats, rotten leaves and twigs that stuck a little and under the surface congealed into a gross mulch, as if they had been there for many years. Enough time at least to decay in such a way. He cleaned as much as he could until he eventually settled with a displeased look etched upon his face. Saba listened as Stella ranted, a little thankful for a distraction from the dead atmosphere of the place.
Suddenly a dull crack filled the clearing, and Saba swivled around to stare at a shocked girl, sat in the splintered remains wherein one of the benches had split. They were obviously more rotten then they realised. She turned back around as others gathered to help her up, moving in her seat uncomfortably. "I guess these benches are in need of a little renovation," Cecillius said with a small laugh, shifting his weight so that he didn't fall into a similar incident. "Anyway, it's nice to meet you Stella. I'm Cecillius and this is Saba." He nodded in Saba's direction.
 
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If the silence weren’t so heavy, the thump of breaking wood wouldn’t have made Luke jump. The tearing was followed by a small yelp of surprise from the bench’s victim. The amplified noise flooded his brain with a thousand situations that involved them being in danger. In hindsight, he felt ridiculous that his heart was racing and quickly laughed it off. The bench breaking put it into perspective, and he settled into feeling more himself. There was nothing to be afraid of out here. “Hey Cecillius. Hey Sada,” he smiled, glad that he was already finding connections. They both seemed intelligent, the type of people you could have a long conversation with. As far as he could tell, Cecilius was the friendlier of the two, and wasn't half bad on the eyes. Subconsciously, he felt himself focus on connecting with him. “I’m Luke, nice to meet you guys.” Luke was grateful, because the last thing he wanted was to be alone with his thoughts. There was nothing a bit a small talk couldn’t fix.

Once again, Luke was distracted. This time, by a bright flash originating from the far side of the clearing. Two guys leaned against the gnarled roots of the trees hugging the camp, hunched over an expensive looking camera. The taller one looked to be the owner, with fine rimmed glasses and a decked out hiking pack. He’d come prepared. They whispered harshly to each other, almost on the verge of an argument. “Not the same. Something’s wrong.” The echoey mist bounced their voices across the space, and Luke tried his best to ignore what he was hearing. “I’m telling you, there’s no way- “

Physically turning away from their discussion, he dove into a friendly demeanor. It was the face he put on when he was interviewing for a new job or activity, his “customer service” persona. Luke found it easier than reading too much into what was going on around him. It was better to ignore the stress, he came out here to find himself, not to get lost in the negativity. Now that they weren't in danger of being lost, his stress had melted away. “I’m so glad we found our way back. I thought for sure I’d have to go full Bear Grylls out there, and nobody wants to see that.” He laughed louder than he needed to, scratching his nail into the soft wood.

“Are you kidding? I think it would've been great. I would’ve build a treehouse and enjoyed some peace and quiet.” Stella stretched her legs off the side of the bench. “You’re so right Cecilius, this place need a fresh coat of paint. At this point I might just “get lost” in the woods for the rest of the stay, being back here is way more depressing.” He could tell she was really embracing her connection with nature, it felt a little forced.

“Anyways, why are you guys here?” He blurted out, realizing moments after that the question might be rude. He’d never been to a retreat like this, and didn’t know if it was taboo to ask.

In the background, the two men grew more impatient, their hushed tones verging on a yell. The photographer kept insisting that the photos had changed, which made Luke question the stability of his peers. He couldn't help but stare from the corner of his eye. There was still no sign of movement from within the building, but that wasn't his problem, he was more than happy to wait it out.

 
"It's nice to meet you too, Luke" Cecillius replied with a relaxed smile, Saba just nodding politely. He noticed Luke's line of sight wander to something in the background, and followed his gaze to see two guys huddled over a camera. Catching snippets of conversation he felt suddenly intrigued, something easily allowed by his naturally curious persona, and wondered what it could be they were discussing with such urgency and apparent alarm. However, he didn't want to seem nosy and so turned back to his group. His attention quickly returned to Luke and he was quietly surprised by the friendly demeanour the boy had suddenly acquired, almost as if it was a subtle mask he had silently slipped on to hide something he wasn't quite ready to share. He ignored this thought. Truthfully Cecillius felt there was something inviting and vaguely comforting in that smile, in the easy curve of lips and the light that seemed to beam from Luke's face. He found himself smiling back.


Attention caught at the sound of his name Cecillius grinned, laughing casually. "I'm sure you'd flourish in those woods, easily. Whilst you're at it you could make friends with some of the forest critters, like in snow white." Speaking of animals, he noticed a sudden lack thereof. The birds were no longer singing and there wasn't the occasional scurry of a rodent in the underbrush. But the group was quite loud, so he guessed they'd scared off any creatures within the vicinity. "Maybe it's nicer on the inside, though. I mean, this wasn't cheap," he added with more laughter.

"Anyway, why are you guys here?"

"Oh." Cecillius swallowed, his smile faltering a little. Saba seemed indifferent. Cecillius quickly regained his cheer and shrugged idly. "Me and Saba are here like anyone else, I guess. It's nice to get away from the turmoil of life and forget who you are for a short while. Well, I mean I came kind of involuntarily, but that's what I was told I was here for anyway!" Cecillius laughed again, this time a little louder, leaning back on the bench. His eyes flitted up to the sky and he noticed how grey it suddenly looked. "I hope we're not in for rain." After saying that though he realised it was completely void of clouds. It was like everything was suddenly still and somewhat dead, or perhaps momentarily paused in time.

Frustrated shouts from behind him, and presumably from the odd photograph pair, made the hair tingle on the nape of Cecillius' neck. Deciding to turn the focus away from that, he asked both Luke and Stella what their reasons for coming here were.


 
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Luke noticed the fall in Cecilius’ expression and worried for a moment that his question was cause for offense after all. He’d been through enough jobs, friend groups, and experiences to lessen the weight of people’s judgements of him. But, at the same time, pissing off the wrong people would mean a miserable few days, stuck here in the woods. Besides, the darkening of Cecilius’ smile could’ve just been from exhaustion. They’d been in the sun all day, and Luke didn’t like to overthink things.

“Well, I mean I came kind of involuntarily.”

Weighing the comment, Luke tried to process whether this was his case. As much as he resisted the idea, he hadn’t considered the possibility of being placed here by force. Suddenly the mopey attitudes of the attendees made sense. He’d be pissed off too. By now, he’d assured himself that it was, if fact, just a vacation. Anything short of that made him feel a little less about his self esteem.

Cecilius’ comment about the rain gave him the placebo of a chill, so he shrugged his outer jacket back over his shoulders. The olive green material made him feel he blended in better with the forest, like he was less visible. Since the beginning, the musty leaves seemed too dense to be empty. It was stupid to feel they were being watched, but the thought kept corroding into his mind.

“Well that’s lame,” he replied bluntly, leaning his chin against his palm. “I’m surprised you’re in such a good mood, you should see me when someone tries to force me into something I don’t want to do.” He lied, laughing mildly. “Don’t hate me, I know it sounds cliche, but I’m here to do a bit of soul searching.” He cringed at how cheesy that sounded. He felt like he needed a topknot and an IPA to be allowed to say that line. “Anyway- I couldn’t agree more. Getting out of the city is so important, being out here is really nice. Nicer than I expected. Despite the ulcers I’m going to get from the stress of almost getting lost.” He threw the guide a dirty glance. For some reason, the distressed man was still failing to get the attention of the staff inside. There had been no movement from inside the shacks.

As Stella gave her reply, he became aware of the restlessness within the clearing. People were pulling out their phones, attempting to call family and friends, but failing each time. This was weird, because the service was only patchy before, not completely dead. “My fiance recommended the program to me,” Stella replied, glowing. “She’s so sweet. She noticed how stressed I’ve been lately, and bought it for me as a late birthday gift. I’m honestly so grateful. I love my work, but there’s only so long you can go before you need a little breather.” Luke couldn’t help but feel envious. She around his same age, but had a successful job and significant other to take care of her. He wondered where she went right, and where he went wrong.

Finally, the guide sheepishly strode into the center of the clearing, forehead glistening. “I have news,” he panted. “It looks like the other groups must’ve left for their own hike. It wasn’t scheduled, but hey, I guess today just wasn’t meant to go as planned. That’s okay.” He sounded like he was convincing himself more than anything else. “If they’re following tomorrow’s itinerary, they’ll be headed to Eagle Peak, it’s just an hour west of here.” He cleared his throat loudly into his hand. “Unfortunately, they must’ve taken the key with them. But, if you wanted to get inside sooner, a few of you may follow the trail to meet them halfway, ask them to hurry up. I’ll remind you that the waver you signed upon entry does cover any injuries you sustain on the way, but I wouldn’t worry. These woods are safe as grandma’s backyard.”

Through the chorus of moans and complaints, the two photographers raised their hands, striding quietly to the center. “We’ll do it, we’ll go.” The taller one confirmed with a grim expression. “Me too!” Luke chimed in before his brain had a chance to process the decision. Anything was better than sitting around, letting the damp wood ruin his pants. He looked to the other members of his table, praying they’d follow his lead.
 
"I'm surprised you're in such a good mood, you should see me when someone tries to force me into something I don't want to do."


At that comment Saba looked over at Cecillius curiously. The idea of him being in a poor mood seemed surreal. He was almost always optimistic in nature, and Saba had been with him in his worst moments. Then the foulness could arise, but still it manifested itself differently than most- he never turned his negative emotions on others. How anyone could be so persistently positive Saba couldn't comprehend, but she also couldn't imagine Cecillius any other way. She supposed his own optimism was what fuelled him. There was always a grin plastered on his face, subtle or not, it would be there. He was smiling now as he watched Luke, his gaze attentive, chortling a little at the soul-searching comment.

"Yeah, I wonder if this trip will be as therapeutic as advertised..." Cecillius added, following Luke's stare. "Perhaps it'll be more 'character building' instead." Saba gazed down at her hand rested on the edge of the bench's table, wondering if the interior of the camp would be this dirty. Passing a finger through the grime she sketched the vague shape of plant, the curve and droop of its leaves appearing in a gentle sweep. She could feel an air of impatience buzzing around her. Flicking out her phone Saba realised they completely lacked any signal, noting this as odd given they had gotten service further away from the camp before. You'd figure the camp itself would have a decent signal, and the last time they were there, it did. Strange, but they were out in the middle of nowhere, so what was to expect?

Saba looked up as Stella started talking, absentmindedly admiring the vibrant colour of her hair. Along with her stylish clothing, her hair indicated Stella wasn't exactly the type to want to go walking in the wilderness, what with the dirt and long sweaty hikes. She obviously was very enthusiastic though, and Saba quietly rejoiced in finding someone who felt the same way about the beauty of the forest. Cecillius was positive and all that, yet she knew this wasn't really his thing. But she felt a pressure gather in her chest at the word 'fiance'. She gazed back at her sketch, trying to smother the feeling. Disappointment? Her reaction wasn't palpable but she still felt the shame that went along with it. A trickle of envy entered her mind as Stella continued. Being locked up in psychiatric wards for a vast majority of her life Saba had a limited experience with romance compared to most her age. She never brought it up, but she did wish she could have someone to share a little bit of her life with. In that way.

“I have news. It looks like the other groups must’ve left for their own hike. It wasn’t scheduled, but hey, I guess today just wasn’t meant to go as planned. That’s okay.”

Looks of mild bewilderment and amusement floated around the clearing. Cecillius pulled an awkward half-smile half-frown and turned to Saba who gave a subtle shrug in return. It seemed like an amateurish move and so far the pair were getting heavy vibes of incompetence from the acclaimed trustworthy organisation but neither were one to make a scene. It looked like no one else was either as the group's reaction remained relatively tame, save for a few minor moans and groans. "Do you not have multiple keys?" someone called from the back, but the guide pretended to not have heard.

Saba started as Luke spoke to volunteer. She didn't want to confirm anything as he turned to their table, averting her eyes as his stare grazed her's. As much as she enjoyed the hike she wanted to take some samples from the outskirts of the camp, and if she went with that group she wouldn't get a chance to do that. Unfortunately for her, Cecillius was kind enough to say he'd join Luke. Not wanting to be separated from her only pillar of familiarity so soon into the trip she nodded reluctantly in agreement. Better more walking than being stuck amongst a group of strangers for hours. As it turned out, the day was only getting longer.
 
The group amassed to nearly fifteen. The majority still opted to remain at the camp, after the long hike they’d already endured, but the gloomy atmosphere lured many away. As he waited for his hikemates to regather their belonging, his initial burst of enthusiasm was already fading out. Chatter trickled around the camp. “I want to go home.” He heard a boy mutter as he fished his hat from his bag. Once the first mention of home was released, other followed suit in agreement. Luke blinked at them, frustrated. If he started to indulge in thoughts of home, of negativity for his situation, his chest flooded with an indescribable murk and distress. It was crushing and ultimately unproductive. He smiled at nothing in particular, trying to trick his mind into thinking he was happy.

As the guide noticed how many people had gathered, his mouth formed into a pressed line of determination. “Of course, I’m going as well. You’ll need somebody to lead you.” He gloated, as if he would do the same if it were only a handful leaving. He gave Stella a pointed look, but she was too busy making conversation with Saba. She laughed like Saba had told the funniest joke to ever grace the earth- although he somehow doubted that was the case. “Alrighy folks, follow me,” the guide yapped, gesturing towards the trailhead.

A tangle of blackberry bushes formed a cushion at the beginning of the trailhead. Half of them were dried and cracked under his boots, the barbs beckoning at his clothes. From somewhere deeper in the forest, a sound not unlike an elk cry echoed like a foghorn. Once again, Luke felt the first signs of dissociating, like he was watching his body walk down the narrow trail from a television across the room.

From behind him, Stella was trying to engage Saba in conversation that was (obviously) important. “So, raccoons are cute, right? My friends all think they’re gross, but I think they’re adorable. Sure, they eat trash and will probably attack if you get too close, but isn’t that half of people anyways?” She laughed, which seemed inappropriate in the context of the forest. “Anyways, yeah. It’s super important that you weigh in, because I can only be friends with people who can see eye to eye with me on this.” He couldn’t see her expression, but he imagined she was joking. Luke realized he’d been walking next to Cecillius without saying anything, he was too busy listening to the other conversation.

Searching for something to start a conversation about, he was distracted by a twisted form draping over the branches up ahead. A falcon decorated the leaves, outstretched as if it were ready to take back to the sky. Unfortunately, despite the rich brown plumage, the fowl was dull and deceased. As they approached, Luke noticed the feathers moving, writhing ever so slightly. The fibers of the feathers were disrupted by iridescent ants bravely crawling over the falcon. It was almost humorous, in a terrible way, to imagine the small insects trying to heft away the entire bird. Most of the group, Luke included, swerved off the trail to avoid being anywhere near the carnage. One boy, keen on impressing the girl he’d been chatting up since day one, ducked under the bird, laughing. A few ants were shaken free and scrambled over his clothing and hair. He shook most of the insects off, but Luke shuttered, glancing back at the poor animal.

“I wonder what happened,” Luke muttered, pulling his hat a little further down his face. Wanted to distract his new peers, he looked at Cecillius. "Are you pretty outdoorsy then? Could you, like, start a fire with two twigs if we get stuck out here?"
 
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Cecillius joined the others in following the guide, casting a questioning look behind him at the rest of the group that were seemingly being abandoned without a second word. They needed the guide to lead them of course, but he was a little startled by the man's confidence to take off and leave the rest of the tourists. Deciding to not concern himself with something he had no responsibility over he turned to Saba, opening his mouth to speak but pausing and smiling a little when he saw she was already deep in conversation with Stella. Or perhaps that was the wrong way to put it, as it seemed Stella was deep in conversation with Saba and Saba was just in for the ride. He could tell she was happy about it though. Her little start earlier hadn't gone unnoticed by her closest friend.

Unfortunately the strange atmosphere that seemed to haunt the clearing they'd temporarily camped in didn't leave. Cecillius had been optimistic it was maybe just that particular place giving off bad vibes- some weird spaces had that after all, like a bad mood that wouldn't pass. But it pursued them into the forest. It was empty and pregnant, and as much as Cecil yearned to shed it from his mind, it weighed heavy. An eerie cry drifted from across the forest and although it would seem the ample thing to break this unease, it only seemed to confirm it.

Cecillius turned to Luke in hopes to distract his mind but saw he was preoccupied with something else. Following his eyes his own settled on the dead body of a falcon draped across the branches of a tree. Its eyes were glassy and opalescent in death and its beak gaped slightly, paused in a final breath. Small insects he guessed as maggots but upon second glance registered as ants scurried within its plumage. The bird was too high up to disrupt the smell of pine with its own stench, something Cecillius was silently relieved about. Dead things always made him want to hurl, but the smell was really what scared him. He looked away but the image was already imprinted in his mind, another catalogued and sure to come invading his peace of mind regularly in the future. Cecillius had turned away too early to see the ants fall onto the boy.

Happy to focus his thoughts on other things he grinned to Luke. "Not by any stretch of the imagination. More of city person, myself. Maybe I'd get something going eventually with my lighter." The more he talked the more he questioned why he was even on this tour in the first place. It was going to be therapeutic. Yes. Therapeutic. "What about you? Do you have any bush craft in your resume?"

 
"Not by any stretch of the imagination. More of city person, myself. Maybe I'd get something going eventually with my lighter."

“A lighter, huh?” He whistled in faux amazement, eyebrows raised.”Don’t tell me you’re one of those bad kids- smoking on your lunch break.” Luke climbed over a root that twisted from the path, careful to not twist an ankle. As an afterthought, he didn’t want actually want Cecillius to think he was berating him for smoking (if he even did). He didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts, trudging through the dank forest. “I smoke socially.” Luke explained, jutting his hands through the straps of his backpack. “Y’know- when you end up at an event, and you’re talking to someone who you can’t stand. It’s always easy to excuse yourself for a smoke. So I guess I smoke anti-socially?” He wanted to laugh, but he kept imagining there were figures moving it the trees. Every time he looked, there was nothing there, just a stump or bundle of moss.

Plastering on another smile, Luke shrugged off the feeling, rolling his shoulders to stretch his neck. “Sort of. I wouldn't call myself experienced per say, but I used to go hiking a ton. I wanted to hike the Great Himalaya Trail, so I was training for that. Spent way too much on hiking gear, but the person I was going to hike it with ended up flaking. Total waste.” Thinking about the time spent obsessed with the outdoors brought a handful of uncomfortable memories of an ex, who had got him into the idea. “Hm, anyways. I guess I’m pretty average. I could probably build us a little hut out of twigs, I’m sure Stella would love that,” he glanced back at her, where she had quieted down since the falcon. “-but I can’t navigate the stars or anything like that. I’m not that good.”

He spotted another form in the trees. His chest fell, assuming it would be another foul animal. Instead, it was just a fuzzy fleece pullover, tied around a branch. The material was wet from the bark and speckled with dirt and what he assumed to be dog fur. The guide had stopped next to it, fingering the fabric. “I remember this…” He panted quietly. “It belonged to another guide. This is greats news, we’re on the right track.” The guide glanced up, glazed with a sweaty sheen.

Alright. Alright this is good.” Luke whispered to his group. “Guess we’re not wasting our time out here.” He stared up the trail, trying to feel encouraged by the find. All he felt was an increasing weight, pressing harder with every step as the shadows grew longer.
 

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