Advice/Help Futuristic Plot Discussion

[boo.]

Imagine this.

Earth has evolved. The planet is changed, as had become far more deadly. The fauna is terrifying, and even the flora has changed to protect and attack. Normal humanity can't survive, and is slowly dying out.

That's when the babies began to be collected. Any children that were born from the year 3679 and onwards were registered and raised in the Theta Facilities, where they were experimented on and equipped to survive the new world. It was found that humanity as it was was doomed to fail. Theta Mods were invented to fix that.

While the older generations were destined to die, the new ones would survive and carry on humanity.

Theta Mods begin at the age of two, when the body has toughened slightly and yet soft enough to mold.



The head is shaved, and an Exo-Bone is implanted along the spine. This is the source for all future Theta Mods and Exo-Bones.

At the age of six, children are Sorted and Marked. At the Sorting, physical and mental tests are run on the children, and they are Marked according to which Subgroup best matches their personality and physical attributes.

There are hundreds of marks, and marks can never be changed. The marks are based on some kind of fauna, whether currently existing or extinct. The mark we'll be focusing on most in this roleplay is the poulí mark, the mark of the avian.

Mods then begin. As we'll be focusing on the poulí mark, I'll describe that.

Poulí mods at the age of six begin with the amputation of the legs, which are replaced by stronger limbs that resemble a bird's: They are thin and light, able to tuck underneath their body, and there are four prehensile toes with a hallux pointing backwards as with most birds.

Think of the legs on this image:



At the age of eleven, wing hinges are installed on the shoulder blades, and what are affectionately referred to as "baby wings" are fitted in the hinges. These wings are half the size of what the wings will be later and are able to be moved and controlled; however, they cannot support the body in the air. They are merely installed to ready the child to the extra weight and help them adjust to a different balance point.

Then, at eighteen, full wings are installed. Wingspans vary according to the subject's height and weight.

~~~

This is what I have. I just wanted help with the technical aspects and surroundings, not with the plot. You can give ideas for that if you have them, though. I also wanted to know if anyone would be interested in something like this.



The Earth had died and gone.

This is Néa gi.

 

[boo.]

*whips*

BACK TO THE TOP, YOU HALF-BAKED SHELL OF AN IDEA!

 

[boo.]

You know, idea, I'm trying to be friends. If you worked with me, I'm sure we could come up with something amazing.

No?

Okay.

Well, maybe we can work things out a bit more before we do anything stupid. Remember that one time we tried to -

Right, we agreed we'd never speak of it again. My mistake.

Let's build up the surroundings and time a bit. Would you be happy with that?

Let's say this is fifty years after the Theta program was set into motion. As far as anyone knows, there are no humans left on earth that are not born in Theta facilities. The facilities, by the way, are no longer even run by humans. Everything is AI, powered by solar energy.

To keep the generations coming, there are mandatory sessions at the age of twenty-five where mates must be selected, and these mates are kept for life. Mates are not preselected. The Theta program strives to remain as humane and human as possible.

After mates have been selected, and a strong bond formed between the partners, the poulí are released(There are different stages and periods at which other types are released). They have mastered the use of their Mods and are able to survive the deadly outside world.

There are multiple settlements at which poulí may live, and it is the same for every other type of Mod. These settlements provide housing and protection, and also ensure that human instincts remain intact.

If a child is conceived, the female is required to return to the nearest Theta Facility to receive the care she needs during pregnancy. In the case of poulí, females are required to remain the entire pregnancy inside the Facility, for flying while pregnant is hazardous.

When the child is born, they are integrated into Theta Protocol; only this time, they reside at a different part of the facility. This part is designed to hold a second generation, and while Mods are issued the same as before, feeding and care goes to the responsibility of the parents, where their instincts, both human and animal, may be fulfilled.

Are you happy now, idea? I think this is a good chunk. Maybe it'll attract attention.

Until then, please know I'm not planning on forgetting you anytime soon.

 

[MarinesThePsychoticReaper]

It still feels like a Dark Cyberpunk Theme despite there are no Mega Cities.

I think you could give another reason for the Theta facilities to Exist. Preserving humanity is a good thing but them focusing on harvesting Data that can be used for further research from old facilities can be also an important part of the plot.


As for the World. Describe the fauna a lot more. What is the result of the world getting into this state?Is done by a human? Is there something other than Thick dangerous jungles outside the settlements?

If you want to people get actually interested in the world. You gotta describe it as much as possible like the food for person's imagination.


The theme is Pretty good. The ideas also are. But it just feels like what you described lacks something important. Which seems to be the further description and a lot more interesting plot line besides "This is the world and people have to survive." If you give them the places where they could venture to and look for the information that could help archive that. the plot would feel more developed.

 

[Beckoncall]

Also I think "hundreds of marks but you can only be this one and it cannot be changed" is a turnoff/red flag