Troldmand
Your Bizarre Acquaintance
Here's my crappy take on Flirty February.
It's not perfect and might be a bit confusing, I warn you!
While there's some exposition at the very bottom, I'd like you to guess what's going on yourselves with hints I scattered about the entire text. Have fun!
It's not perfect and might be a bit confusing, I warn you!
While there's some exposition at the very bottom, I'd like you to guess what's going on yourselves with hints I scattered about the entire text. Have fun!
I still remembered my Paramour; my Inamorata. I longed for Her and She sighed for my embrace; for that outspoken flirt. Tears She shed when them thrice-damned fraudsters shoved a warrant of arrest into my face wetted the motorway; Her poignant fury struck it a thousand times and one with the flash of lightning. But I couldn't risk the jolt of a taser; couldn't sense Her tender touch as handcuffs numbed my hands; couldn't run back and relieve Her worry.
"You wish to earn my affection, good sir?" She asked, Her lips curled up. "Why, I'm flattered!"
"I would brave the Azure Main for you, m'lady!" I promised.
As we crossed over into the Interzone, I knew I lost Her and She lost me for good until She could reclaim my withered carcass. There's no way out of the Interzone, you see. I thought so; all thought so. Convicted SOBs -- all that vermin -- would enter it on foot and come back in a body bag. I even had mine in mind as we passed through walls of barbed wire and servicemen armed from head to toe -- stretchy, noisy and coloured pitch black.
"Many yearned to gain my hand. A handful perished for it even," She gestured me to follow Her further into the Park. "I'm benevolent when men make me happy; I'm ruthless when they betray me."
"Such beauty; such excellence. I wouldn't betray you even I had no eyes to see your beauty or ears to cherish your voice." I vowed and caressed Her bushy hair.
I was assigned a strenuous number that evening; a number the Sheriff in the Interzone vowed to remember as I remembered Her.
"This is your new name, Inter-man. Interzone," he pondered on it for a second as he shuffled through the papers, "It changes Inter-men and Inter-women alike, you see. The sooner you accept it and," he paused, then laid my documents on top of the paper-ridden pile. "And the sooner you accept this identity, the better for everyone. There's no way out of the Interzone. Not for you, not for me."
"I have many names, but I only uphold one. What is your name, courageous flirt?" she wondered.
"My name is whatever strikes your fancy, m'lady," I admitted. She chuckled.
He was right. It didn't occur to me on my first evening in the Interzone, but the Sheriff had a point. No Inter-man's or Inter-woman's mind would bend traitorous, no convict would ever take a *chance* to stand up. They'd all sit, and eat, and reject all matters unwarranted. None would say a word, none would even fancy a thought -- or so I felt as I navigated dimly lit corridors back to my cell and eyed an occasional passerby.
"Identity, courageous flirt," she continued. "It matters more than anything. Without it, people forget who you are. Your flirts would be useless. You would do as they say no matter what they say. I despise obedience; I uphold wild types."
"For you, I'd do anything and at any time, my Paramour!" I exclaimed. She disapproved.
"I don't believe you, courageous flirt. You're as close to me as an astronaut. Too far."
It was the 1st of April, and I remembered that morning I could not make Her laugh. She knew this, and Her tears wetted my puny window; her sorrow echoed in a thousand thunderclaps a mile away from the Interzone. I begged for a chance to see Her one more time, and wipe her Tears and give Her comfort; but what good are inmate's thoughts? I did not dare to speak up, you know. I feared to upset the Sheriff and feared to defy his advice.
"You know this will never work out, don't you?" She insisted. "No matter what you sing to me, courageous flirt."
"My Paramour! I will make it work, o Paramour!" I vowed. "If it is the distance that clouds your vision, I will make it so we are close at all times!" I suggested and ran away... to the Park.
That night I dreamed of time too old and distant. I saw myself at the tender age of 8, with a gleeful smile; shining eyes and a cheerful laugh. My hair went up and down in tandem with the seesaw; my lamented father was there, he sat on the thing and lifted me up. I cheered, and then I quietened down in childish awe. I saw Her for the first time, right behind my father; I saw Her for the first time ever and felt how free, and wild, and brimming with life She was. Right there, mind you, right outside the confines of that playground. How could I not fall in love with the likes of Her, even as a little one?
When I woke up, I felt sick. I knew She's nowhere now; She knew I was a goner. I screamed, and I cried. I was afraid now; afraid of confinement. I was here forever, She was there forever.
"You look astonishing, m'lady!" I yearned to say. A warm pink would likely mount on Her cheeks. "Godly brilliance," I caressed her bushy hair and ran my hand down her wooden skin.
"But," I heard Her speak. "Would you truly save me from any peril?"
"I would, o Paramour."
It was February, I woke up to an ongoing debate. Two guards argued what state would Annabelle hit next? They brought up harrowing famines across the Great Plains, abnormal floods in the Californian Republic, even the flares that put Nebraska to the torch some 48 hours ago. I sat on my bed, eyed my window and pondered on that news -- only news -- for a good while.
"She's lost it," I supposed, "She's furious. She wants something back. She wants ME back." I concluded. My lips curled up.
"He hurt me!" She told me. "He stabbed me with a knife, courageous flirt! Akin a cold-blooded killer, he is! I demand justice!"
I saw the offender. That boy, that walking trouble dared to harm my Paramour. I caressed Her bushy hair one last time.
"O Paramour, I will teach him a lesson!"
I rushed to that fool. He could not outrun a grown gentleman -- we knew it both. I grabbed his hand, took away his knife. He called for help, but I made sure to teach him what it meant to incur Her wrath.
Nobody could hear his bloody gurgling now. Or so I thought.
She made it here. Today, on the 25th of August, She came for me. They did not know it; they did not bother to fortify the blasted Interzone -- and She blasted it into shreds. I woke up to shrieking sirens and frightened inmates. My cell was unlocked and suddenly I knew it was my chance to embrace my Paramour. As I approached the Exit, I noticed walls splattered with scarlet blood; guards littering the floor -- lifeless and looted. Outside, I bear witness to Her fury; Her swirling shape. Chunks of the Interzone circled Her, bits and pieces of flesh and bone did too. I felt the connection in a trice -- She found me and I found Her.
"Come closer, courageous flirt!" she begged.
"O Paramour!" I shouted as I ran to embrace Her once again.
"I'm afraid, this one's a lost cause," Doctor shook his head. "Complete and utter madness. His brain no longer perceives reality the way we do. But," he looked uncertain for a moment. "He might have a chance in the Interzone."
"Poor sob. Thinks Nature's his love, flirts with trees, even killed for them. I don't think there's anything left for him other than the Interzone. They'll take proper care of him." he sighed.
"They say that hurricane's gonna hit it. Are you sure it's the right time to send him there?" said another, with a shiny badge adorning his chest.
"Rest assured, Officer. If they've survived the MAD outbreak, they'll survive a hurricane."
"You wish to earn my affection, good sir?" She asked, Her lips curled up. "Why, I'm flattered!"
"I would brave the Azure Main for you, m'lady!" I promised.
As we crossed over into the Interzone, I knew I lost Her and She lost me for good until She could reclaim my withered carcass. There's no way out of the Interzone, you see. I thought so; all thought so. Convicted SOBs -- all that vermin -- would enter it on foot and come back in a body bag. I even had mine in mind as we passed through walls of barbed wire and servicemen armed from head to toe -- stretchy, noisy and coloured pitch black.
"Many yearned to gain my hand. A handful perished for it even," She gestured me to follow Her further into the Park. "I'm benevolent when men make me happy; I'm ruthless when they betray me."
"Such beauty; such excellence. I wouldn't betray you even I had no eyes to see your beauty or ears to cherish your voice." I vowed and caressed Her bushy hair.
I was assigned a strenuous number that evening; a number the Sheriff in the Interzone vowed to remember as I remembered Her.
"This is your new name, Inter-man. Interzone," he pondered on it for a second as he shuffled through the papers, "It changes Inter-men and Inter-women alike, you see. The sooner you accept it and," he paused, then laid my documents on top of the paper-ridden pile. "And the sooner you accept this identity, the better for everyone. There's no way out of the Interzone. Not for you, not for me."
"I have many names, but I only uphold one. What is your name, courageous flirt?" she wondered.
"My name is whatever strikes your fancy, m'lady," I admitted. She chuckled.
He was right. It didn't occur to me on my first evening in the Interzone, but the Sheriff had a point. No Inter-man's or Inter-woman's mind would bend traitorous, no convict would ever take a *chance* to stand up. They'd all sit, and eat, and reject all matters unwarranted. None would say a word, none would even fancy a thought -- or so I felt as I navigated dimly lit corridors back to my cell and eyed an occasional passerby.
"Identity, courageous flirt," she continued. "It matters more than anything. Without it, people forget who you are. Your flirts would be useless. You would do as they say no matter what they say. I despise obedience; I uphold wild types."
"For you, I'd do anything and at any time, my Paramour!" I exclaimed. She disapproved.
"I don't believe you, courageous flirt. You're as close to me as an astronaut. Too far."
It was the 1st of April, and I remembered that morning I could not make Her laugh. She knew this, and Her tears wetted my puny window; her sorrow echoed in a thousand thunderclaps a mile away from the Interzone. I begged for a chance to see Her one more time, and wipe her Tears and give Her comfort; but what good are inmate's thoughts? I did not dare to speak up, you know. I feared to upset the Sheriff and feared to defy his advice.
"You know this will never work out, don't you?" She insisted. "No matter what you sing to me, courageous flirt."
"My Paramour! I will make it work, o Paramour!" I vowed. "If it is the distance that clouds your vision, I will make it so we are close at all times!" I suggested and ran away... to the Park.
That night I dreamed of time too old and distant. I saw myself at the tender age of 8, with a gleeful smile; shining eyes and a cheerful laugh. My hair went up and down in tandem with the seesaw; my lamented father was there, he sat on the thing and lifted me up. I cheered, and then I quietened down in childish awe. I saw Her for the first time, right behind my father; I saw Her for the first time ever and felt how free, and wild, and brimming with life She was. Right there, mind you, right outside the confines of that playground. How could I not fall in love with the likes of Her, even as a little one?
When I woke up, I felt sick. I knew She's nowhere now; She knew I was a goner. I screamed, and I cried. I was afraid now; afraid of confinement. I was here forever, She was there forever.
"You look astonishing, m'lady!" I yearned to say. A warm pink would likely mount on Her cheeks. "Godly brilliance," I caressed her bushy hair and ran my hand down her wooden skin.
"But," I heard Her speak. "Would you truly save me from any peril?"
"I would, o Paramour."
It was February, I woke up to an ongoing debate. Two guards argued what state would Annabelle hit next? They brought up harrowing famines across the Great Plains, abnormal floods in the Californian Republic, even the flares that put Nebraska to the torch some 48 hours ago. I sat on my bed, eyed my window and pondered on that news -- only news -- for a good while.
"She's lost it," I supposed, "She's furious. She wants something back. She wants ME back." I concluded. My lips curled up.
"He hurt me!" She told me. "He stabbed me with a knife, courageous flirt! Akin a cold-blooded killer, he is! I demand justice!"
I saw the offender. That boy, that walking trouble dared to harm my Paramour. I caressed Her bushy hair one last time.
"O Paramour, I will teach him a lesson!"
I rushed to that fool. He could not outrun a grown gentleman -- we knew it both. I grabbed his hand, took away his knife. He called for help, but I made sure to teach him what it meant to incur Her wrath.
Nobody could hear his bloody gurgling now. Or so I thought.
She made it here. Today, on the 25th of August, She came for me. They did not know it; they did not bother to fortify the blasted Interzone -- and She blasted it into shreds. I woke up to shrieking sirens and frightened inmates. My cell was unlocked and suddenly I knew it was my chance to embrace my Paramour. As I approached the Exit, I noticed walls splattered with scarlet blood; guards littering the floor -- lifeless and looted. Outside, I bear witness to Her fury; Her swirling shape. Chunks of the Interzone circled Her, bits and pieces of flesh and bone did too. I felt the connection in a trice -- She found me and I found Her.
"Come closer, courageous flirt!" she begged.
"O Paramour!" I shouted as I ran to embrace Her once again.
"I'm afraid, this one's a lost cause," Doctor shook his head. "Complete and utter madness. His brain no longer perceives reality the way we do. But," he looked uncertain for a moment. "He might have a chance in the Interzone."
"Poor sob. Thinks Nature's his love, flirts with trees, even killed for them. I don't think there's anything left for him other than the Interzone. They'll take proper care of him." he sighed.
"They say that hurricane's gonna hit it. Are you sure it's the right time to send him there?" said another, with a shiny badge adorning his chest.
"Rest assured, Officer. If they've survived the MAD outbreak, they'll survive a hurricane."
