Realistic or Modern Friendly Neighborhood Neighbors

[Error 420]

You are on a train. A WIZENED EMU approaches. He questions your decision to move into THE NEIGHBORHOOD, but you do not speak GERMAN. He continues to speak to you, but you continue to not speak GERMAN.

>Request SOLITUDE
>Request COMBAT

 

[ViciousVip3R]

>Request COMBAT

 

[Error 420]

COMBAT COMMENCES
IMPRESSIVE MUSIC starts playing, and it fills you with insatiable bloodlust!
A WIZENED EMU stands in front of you, its long NECK offending you.

>INSULT
>Grab NECK
>Attack NECK
>SURRENDER
ViciousVip3R

 

[ViciousVip3R]

We don't speak German, so it wont understand if we insult it anyway.

>Grab NECK

 

[Error 420]

You attempt to add the WIZENED EMU's NECK to your INVENTORY, but you are unable to GRAB it. It appears as though it is its strongest point! The NECK is rough and scrapes your HAND.

>INSULT
>Grab NECK
>Attack NECK
>SURRENDER
ViciousVip3R

 

[ViciousVip3R]

(Yeah, emu necks are no joke. Just ask the Australians.)
>Attack NECK

 

[Error 420]

You ATTACK the WIZENED EMU's NECK with your GOD-GIVEN HANDS. It appears as though it is its strongest point! It nips at you. You feel as though you are on the brink of death!

>INSULT
>Grab NECK
>Attack NECK
>SURRENDER
ViciousVip3R

 

[ViciousVip3R]

Well fuck.

>INSULT

Never surrender

 

[Error 420]

You feel like Critical Damage Music should be playing, but it wound up being an unaccepted file format! Curses! You tell the WIZENED EMU's NECK smells like NECKS! He seems hurt by this and retracts his NECK, revealing his SOFT HEAD!

INSULTS INCREASED TO LEVEL 2! NEW ABILITIES UNLOCKED!

>INSULT
>Grab SOFT HEAD
>Attack SOFT HEAD
>SURRENDER
ViciousVip3R

 

[ViciousVip3R]

What are the new abilities? I really want to pet it's head but...grabbing will do


>Grab SOFT HEAD

 

[Error 420]

You GRAB the SOFT HEAD. The WIZENED EMU enjoys this nice pet and stretches his powerful NECK back out. You still feel as though the Critical Damage Music should still be playing, because you are still Critically Damaged.

>INSULT
>Grab NECK
>Attack NECK
>SURRENDER
ViciousVip3R

 

[Agent]

Man this boss fight seems hard.
We better INSULT the fuck out of it's neck.

 

[ViciousVip3R]

Yeah, temporary gratification but now we're fucked again.

Time to emotionally scar this emu
>INSULT

 

[Error 420]

INSULT LEVEL 2!
NEW ABILITIES!
FORMULATE YOUR INSULT!
SUBJECT:
>SOFT HEAD
>NECK
>GERMAN
MODIFIER:
>SMELL
>LOOK
>FEEL
OBJECT:
>SOFT HEAD
>EMU
>HANDS
>GERMAN
>NECK
Agent ViciousVip3R

 

[ViciousVip3R]

Subject: German
Modifier: Look
Object: Emu

 

[Error 420]

You INSULT the WIZENED EMU! You tell him that GERMAN LOOKS like the WIZENED EMU! The WIZENED EMU is confused by this, but retracts his NECK in shame, revealing his SOFT HEAD.

>INSULT
>Grab SOFT HEAD
>Attack SOFT HEAD
>SURRENDER

 

[ViciousVip3R]

>Attack SOFT HEAD

 

[Agent]

I concur. Get rekt stupid bird.