Experiences Feeling Like RP Is A Job / Obligation Over A Hobby?

[monxmiracle]

So I've been roleplaying for the latter part of five years, and I don't know if anyone ever felt like this but have you ever found moments where RP feels like a job or an obligation over a hobby. What I mean by this, is that at least for me I've met partners who pressure me to write everyday or ask when I will write even when I'm online doing something else. As much as I enjoy writing, I do feel a little miffed when people pressure me to write even though I prefer to write and plan out that time in my own space. It usually takes me a few days or a little over a week more or less to get in the proper space to get out a reply. Other times or rather most times, I just want to go online to check in on friends and talk to them. Writing and replying to roleplays is like not the priority. But I know there are some people who see someone online and active and assume they must be down to write. Though that's not always the case, if I want to spend my time online catching up with people and friends I care about why shouldn't I? Eventually I will get to write when I feel like it, and I don't think many people understand this. Even if someone is like online they may not always be in the mood to write. For me at least writing takes time, a bit of thinking, and effort to be able to get the words right. Hence why it takes me a while to write up a reply. Conversations with friends on the other hand, don't require much thinking as I just can like feel at ease. I'm honestly not sure if anyone else has experienced something like this. Where someone presssures them to write and like constantly pesters for a reply. Although I work well under pressure at some point I feel like someone just needs a bit of patience, I may not be the fastest writer, but I will get a reply in. Just not at the same speed as others. Does anyone else feel the same way? Have you ever experienced pressure over being required to reply in a certain time frame or daily? I for one prefer a casual environment, where we all reply when we can over having a set time frame. ​

 

[Onmyoji]

I'm sorry but sounds like you've met some toxic partners along the way.
I get it that if a rp is interesting people would want to get a reply but it's not a reason to stalk when the person is online and pressure for replies.

I totally agree that talking OOC sometimes is easier than writing a rp post for the very same person. And sometimes we all need a break no matter how engaging the rp is.

I've had the best experience with slow writers like myself. I'm slow. They're slow. Everyone is happy. I'm not joking, but I had a rp where we exchanged replies once a year and no one pressured anyone. It was still enjoyable.

 

[s e v e n]

Hey man, I feel you. I think what you express is completely, 100%, valid. I personally am against ghosters, just because I feel like if you wanted to stop you'd have the decency to not keep me waiting forever. HOWEVER...I don't know man, I feel that so much. I want to be able to be comfortable enough to not hide my discord status when I'm gaming because some days I just want to do something else. It does not mean I like the story less. It does not mean I like writing less. I just have a life. And I encourage this out of my partners too. I'd rather not them avoid me at all cost, especially ones that are close enough to me to be called friend, just because they want to do something else. Like go for it man, I'm not faulting you, no need to tippy toes.

I feel like maybe moving forward we all can try communicate better, because at the end of the day, these people mean no harm. They're just very excited. I think making boundaries clear = healthy partnership.

Or hey if they're still an ass after the whole confrontation, you can ask them to shove it.

 

[monxmiracle]

I'm sorry but sounds like you've met some toxic partners along the way.
I get it that if a rp is interesting people would want to get a reply but it's not a reason to stalk when the person is online and pressure for replies.

I totally agree that talking OOC sometimes is easier than writing a rp post for the very same person. And sometimes we all need a break no matter how engaging the rp is.

I've had the best experience with slow writers like myself. I'm slow. They're slow. Everyone is happy. I'm not joking, but I had a rp where we exchanged replies once a year and no one pressured anyone. It was still enjoyable.

It seems so, either that or these people have not learned the meaning of patience. patience means waiting for a while, not like messaging back every hour or so after you agreed to wait. also yeah, i find that OOC talking is just a nice break and also just I enjoy befriending my partner and talking to them. although in other cases that might not be it, as again i know someone who just wants to plot and talk about writing over other unrelated things OOC. but absolutely i have the best experience with slow writers, cause there's no pressure to write and its enjoyable. no one really cares if we spend the day talking OOC so long as we're all having fun! i work best when i exchange replies like once every few weeks at least for me personally.

 

[monxmiracle]

Hey man, I feel you. I think what you express is completely, 100%, valid. I personally am against ghosters, just because I feel like if you wanted to stop you'd have the decency to not keep me waiting forever. HOWEVER...I don't know man, I feel that so much. I want to be able to be comfortable enough to not hide my discord status when I'm gaming because some days I just want to do something else. It does not mean I like the story less. It does not mean I like writing less. I just have a life. And I encourage this out of my partners too. I'd rather not them avoid me at all cost, especially ones that are close enough to me to be called friend, just because they want to do something else. Like go for it man, I'm not faulting you, no need to tippy toes.

I feel like maybe moving forward we all can try communicate better, because at the end of the day, these people mean no harm. They're just very excited. I think making boundaries clear = healthy partnership.

Or hey if they're still an ass after the whole confrontation, you can ask them to shove it.

I honestly haven't been at the point where I hide my discord status or like any online status of mine. But I have met friends who have had that experience, where they would have to turn off their statuses to offline just so people won't pester them and as annoying as it may be I also feel that. We all have lives outside of RP and sometimes we don't want to spend our online hours writing but instead doing other things. Also yes that's true, I completely agree these people are just excited and as sweet as it is sometimes I wish it'd be toned down. I always try to make clear boundaries but again I've met some people who take a while to process them.

 

[Idea]

Can't say I've ever experienced this, however, what I can say is that I actively avoid RPs that are too fast for me. Experience has taught me that if a group RP goes too fast that's not an RP for me, and when it comes to 1x1 I make it clear upfront that I prefer a slower writing style and that I expect fast replies from my partners either. In fact I tend to tell them explicitly that I'm find with waiting months for the replies, provided when they do come they are the type of replies I want to read.

Now I don't do the latter for the sake of avoiding people pressuring me to reply, I do it because the particular writing style I prefer (longer more detailed replies) calls for it. However, I also think it's one thing that's helped me not really encountering the type of issue you're describing, setting realistic, perhaps even a bit pessimistic expectations. If on average you can post every three days, you should probably only promise something like a post every week, because people tend to A) overestimate themselves and B) make the rarely correct assumption that they will have a relatively stable stream of time. It's better, in my opinion, to lower the expectations (with the tradeoff off a reduction of potential partners, but which is more important is something one has to balance) so that if you do manage your average that's better than expected, but if you find yourself suddenly busy you can still at least meet the agreed upon deadline or much closer to it.

 

[Inno]

So I've been roleplaying for the latter part of five years, and I don't know if anyone ever felt like this but have you ever found moments where RP feels like a job or an obligation over a hobby. What I mean by this, is that at least for me I've met partners who pressure me to write everyday or ask when I will write even when I'm online doing something else. As much as I enjoy writing, I do feel a little miffed when people pressure me to write even though I prefer to write and plan out that time in my own space. It usually takes me a few days or a little over a week more or less to get in the proper space to get out a reply. Other times or rather most times, I just want to go online to check in on friends and talk to them. Writing and replying to roleplays is like not the priority. But I know there are some people who see someone online and active and assume they must be down to write. Though that's not always the case, if I want to spend my time online catching up with people and friends I care about why shouldn't I? Eventually I will get to write when I feel like it, and I don't think many people understand this. Even if someone is like online they may not always be in the mood to write. For me at least writing takes time, a bit of thinking, and effort to be able to get the words right. Hence why it takes me a while to write up a reply. Conversations with friends on the other hand, don't require much thinking as I just can like feel at ease. I'm honestly not sure if anyone else has experienced something like this. Where someone presssures them to write and like constantly pesters for a reply. Although I work well under pressure at some point I feel like someone just needs a bit of patience, I may not be the fastest writer, but I will get a reply in. Just not at the same speed as others. Does anyone else feel the same way? Have you ever experienced pressure over being required to reply in a certain time frame or daily? I for one prefer a casual environment, where we all reply when we can over having a set time frame. ​

I feel this on so many levels. I get exactly where you are coming from.
Yes, I've experienced this plenty of times from toxic partners and that is the reason the roleplays crashed and burned. Lack of patience. The idea that since this person is available all the time to write, everyone else must be.
Also there's always the if I didn't reply back with the 30 minutes of posting it's automatically assumed I'm ghosting.

My best advice is if your partner is pressuring you constantly about posting, you might want to think about getting another one. Most, save for a select few, are understanding about schedules. I mean if you write every day, every hour you're going to get sick of writing. Besides that, this is an enjoyable hobby not a 9-5.

 

[Pretty Little Creature]

One billion percent. It's why I've taken long strides of hiatus. I find the balance between my own activity and others' activity or lack thereof. It's really super hard.
What kills my writer's soul is when I work weeks on a role play for a group and it's successfully started and then things go pretty silent. Then said group or partner expects e to muster up some creative energy to give some oomph to the role play. And I'm like. Buddies. It's dead because of the lack of collective effort. I'm not paid to do this job. I'm not paid to collectively create story dynamics for you. I just thrust out some plot points and action with a setting.

Could you imagine how much one could be paid if they collected the hours of work made?

I can one gazillion percent relate to this feeling. It's a feeling that both defeats me and motivates me. Although, over the years, the feeling of guilt over something not working out fades a bit. Becuase I sort of just surrender to the fact that a lot of people on the internet are very superficial. Not in like an intentionally mean way but you can't see a face over the internet. I can be super guilty of this when I get a good plot in mind. Our personal characters are our focal point and I mean should I expect less from others? This is where it starts feeling like a job. XD It's a rarity to find a group that is one hundred percent dedicated to every character's success and it's disheartening but meh.

So, I try to just surrender to the situation or I'm very openly transparent. I give myself permission to walk away or become disinterested too. That kinda helps in a weird way. I am in no way obligated to other people's expectations and I'm okay with that. Unless you want to pay me and make it an actual job. (lmfao)


Weird random ramble. I didn't expect to come out with this many words.

 

[Melpomene]

Yeah... I avoid people like that like the plague.

Who wants to deal with someone that is so demanding in a creative medium? I need to be in the right headspace to write. It is one of the reasons I mostly do 1x1s instead of group RPs specifically so I don't feel pressured to write in a certain timeframe. As the old man from Toy Story 2 famously said:



So don't ever feel obligated to write when you aren't feeling it. I recommend letting partners know upfront how you feel about that because... Tbh making someone feel bad for not having the brain space for writing on THEIR schedule is not cool.

 

[PerfectlySafePenguin]

I've had someone get mean because I didn't reply to their prompt within an hour. Like, I get that I'm a slow player. Sometimes it takes me a week or two, because my day to day life is very busy. I get that it's not the pace for everyone, but an hour seems ridiculous.

I'm probably not getting any rp posts done with my kids screaming in the background.

 

[cool memes]

You may decide for yourself to approach a hobby with a certain level of obligation and commitment, but no-one else gets to.

 

[GreenBeret]

Welcome to my world. Being an admin, particularly, in various RPs feels like a job at some point, especially when annoying people join in and expect you to reply to them 24/7 within 2 seconds.