Other Feedback and General Discussion

[Hazelfaye]

Some archived feedback and discussion from the poetry thread:

Spoiler: ^_^

As someone who enjoys reading, writing, and some Nintendo video games as well (I am slightly more old-school) it is nice to meet a fellow who has commonalities. Hello and welcome to the site! I hope you will have a pleasant stay and enjoy it here, whether you write in prose or verse. I am interested in seeing your poetry and look forward to your first showcasing of it. =)

Hello and thank you so much! I've grown up with Nintendo since I was probably 8 or 9 years old, so it's basically my lifeline as a gamer? I'm also just more drawn to Nintendo games because they always felt and looked more colorful to me. I got lots and lots of material to work with, so I hope you enjoy what I have to offer. I'm debating whether or not I should write an entirely original collection specifically for this thread, or sprinkle in some old ones too. I'll probably update the thread a few times as I decide!

You're very welcome, and that's great! Nintendo games have a vibrance few others can match. I especially love some of the indie games supported. I greatly look forward to seeing your material. I am a sucker for poetry and would love whatever you can provide, I am sure.

Very nice work on this poem! I adore the imagery of shattered and fragmented things, but cannot quite piece together what is meant. Energy fragmented by the nightly queen. Darkness? Broken pieces beneath the rising sun. Light? Waves? It does offer something to think about, which is wonderful for a poem, though I feel as if I am missing something. What was shattered in the third stanza?

Overall, however, I am quite impressed just with little things here and there that come to mind afterwards of which I am more curious than anything else. Looking good! I look forward to whatever else you have to reveal! =D

You're absolutely right. I wrote it on my phone and didn't really think much about how it was structured. If you're wondering whats broken it is the moon. Being fragmented, or shattered into a bunch of smaller pieces. The moon holds its form pretty well, but if you look closely, you notice that it just isn't quite right.

Your questions are wonderful and I appreciate your feedback loads, when I have time ill come back to make some edits and revisions, which will hopefully make it a little more clear. Just a little though, because its not fun if you don't have to think about it :3

I am glad to hear that my commentary has helped! I would hate to change the structure, but I think clarity would definitely help the flow somewhat.

Definitely!

I went ahead and revised the poem a little bit, hopefully it works a little better this time :3

The shift looks great, in my opinion. Nice work! This inspires me to write poetry as well, not going to lie, and that cannot be said about just any poem.

Thank you so much, and that's wonderful. It'll be awesome to see what you come with. I'm always glad and grateful to see people inspired

I feel a closeness to this latest poem. The whole "be yourself" thing that people force down one's throat is challenging when you learn how to be who you are from the people you are closest to, be it parents, friends, siblings, or otherwise loved ones. Nice work on this one; I have nothing to critique!

Right! It's sort of exhausting. Thank you for your continued feedback, by the way. I'm thinking about making a separate thread for feedback though, so that this one can stay clean for easy viewing. Would that be okay with you @Thanny?

Also made a new thread which will feature some short stories and what if scenarios from my brain storming sessions for my WIP novel. Cool beans? Cool beans!

Hey there! You are very welcome. I am always happy to help if able.

While I think the index is good for this reason (if you click on the index button beneath poems you can see all of the poems in order), this is a fine idea too and definitely keeps things orderly, though I fear you might receive less feedback as a result of two separate threads. I do not mind your or my deleting my posts here too, and shall check out your other thread too. Thank you!

I can definitely see how having multiple threads may decrease the chances of receiving feedback. But I also think that those who truly want to share their thoughts will. I'll probably just archive your thoughts and feedback onto the new thread, that way it doesn't have to be gone permanently ^^