Realistic or Modern Fairweather Communications - Urban Fantasy

[Reynarda]

Azrael went bright red when Lev returned and announced that he had known all along. "Wait, what? You two knew?!"

Thea snorted. "Doc, the second to appeared in your black lab coat and said you were the doctor I was interviewing with, I knew you weren't human. You just don't... move like a human."

"Wait, I smell iron-y?!" Azrael asked before groaning and flopping backwards so that she was staring up at her ceiling. "I was agonizing over this for days and now you two tell me you always knew."

The agony she had put herself though this entire evening and not only were both Lev and Thea completely fine with it, but they were apparently not even surprised. She had been all keyed-up about this for absolutely nothing. There was absolutely no way to be a dignified vampire now. She may as well lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling.

"Wait, did he say--no. Nah. Nope." Thea shook their head so that their pink braids cut through the air dangerously close to Azrael's nose. "I refuse to believe you're a vampire. It's too obvious!"

"How is it obvious?" Azrael groaned. "I thought I was being very good at hiding."

"You only wear black and you hiss when I turn lights on!" Thea rolled their eyes. "It was so obvious I figured you weren't a vampire."

There was probably plenty of subtext that answered her question, but Azrael really, really wanted to be certain. Fixing her eyes on the ceiling, she asked quietly, "So, you're both still okay being friends even though I'm a vampire?"

Thea wanted to shake Azrael, but they'd fount being blunt calmed her habit of overthinking. "Of course, Doc. I have been trying to convince you to be my friend for years. That hasn't changed."

Azrael smiled to herself, feeling warmth under her sternum. She blinked at Lev's question. Oh, right.

"Yes, take that, Wade! Fang gang has an actual vampire! Wait, were you making fun of Wade's fangs since yours are bigger?"

Azrael laughed. She wasn't really sure her fangs were bigger than Lev's and she was not about to measure. "No, not at all. I meant what I said." She sat up and tilted her head to the side. "I kept my species a secret because I wasn't sure how people would take to the idea of a vampire practicing medicine," Azrael admitted. She shrugged. "Percival... he already knows. He's kept my secret since I came here. But Wade? I don't know." She nodded to Lev. "You know Wade best. How would he take it? If you don't think it would damage anything, I'll trust your judgement."

 

[AlphaBlueWolf]

While Zorion was waiting for the water to boil he flipped open his phone to read the message from his boss. He was about to respond to it when he got the second message. He read it and the only emotion he had in that moment was pure shock. He wasn't expecting Percival to care or at least show any concern and wishes for him to get better.

He smiled and responded. "Thanks, Sir. I promise he won't cause any trouble. And thank you for the concern." As he pressed send the water let him know it had been boiled with a startling, loud hiss. He shut off the stove and took the kettle off. He then poured it into a separate cup that had the herbal tea mix he had made already in it. He placed a small strainer over the mug he had picked out and poured the mix in. He then scooped in some honey and mixed it in with a spoon.

He waited a little before bringing it into Alistair since it was still sending up steam letting him know it would be too hot. When the steam had gone he took the mug up and brought it in to their bedroom. He strode over to Alistair and put the mug down onto the nightstand. He checked his cheek with his hands. His face was still warm. The fever hadn't subsided. "Hey, Alistair." He spoke softly, "I brought you some tea."

Alistair had opened his eyes and with some assistance from Zorion sat up in bed. He gave Alistair the mug who took big gulps silently. In a matter of seconds there was only a little bit left at the bottom. He took the mug from his son and put it down on the nightstand. He helped Alistair lay back down and tucked the covers over him. He closed his eyes again and cuddled with his favorite toy, a little fox plush.

Zorion checked on the cloth and and took it to wet it again. He came back a few seconds later to put it back on Alistair's forehead. He brought his phone in with him and shut the light off. He then moved over to the other side of the bed and tucked himself under the covers. He flipped the phone open to contact Dr. Drake. The message he sent her read, "Hello, Dr. Drake. I was wondering if you had a free slot tomorrow so I can bring in my son for a checkup. He's become feverish. The earlier the better and I have already gotten Mr. Fairweather's approval on this." He wasn't normally so formal, in fact he hadn't even been born in the city. He had grown up in a rural town with Alistair's mother. But, he quickly learned that formal was the way to go when dealing with coworkers. Especially ones that were higher up in the company like Percival.

Alistair had broken into a fit of coughing. When it stopped he asked, "Daddy? Can you rub my head?"

"Sure." He replied. He put the phone down next to him, opened so he could respond if she answered him, and began rubbing his son's head. He could tell it really eased him. He moved to scratch him behind his ear, which instead of a goat ear it was a fox's ear, and stayed there for awhile before moving back to rub his head. Seeing his son hurt so much pained his heart. He wished that Alistair didn't have so many side effects of being born to a satyr and kitsune, but that was the reality they had to live with.

 

[Mikotsuhime]

Lev shrugged, feeling sheepish all of a sudden.

"Ok, to be fair, I wasn't sure until tonight. I kind of just figured you were a private person. And you work in a clinic, so," he pointed out, because he didn't want her to feel too bad that her secret was out.

He didn't mention that Thea also worked in the clinic, but they never really smelled iron-y.

"Of course I want to be your friend," Lev said, trying not to sound fondly exasperated. "If I didn't want to be your friend, I wouldn't be here."

He had, after all, not only invited her out for drinks in the hopes of getting to know her better, but had followed her home afterwards. That was pretty firm friend territory.

Finding out that Percival had known the whole time was a bit of a shock.

"Percival is ok with it?" he asked, a little surprised. "I mean. Obviously he is. But he doesn't really seem like the kind of guy who goes around keeping secrets like that."

He had imagined Percival would immediately run to his father with Azrael's species and used it to blackmail her or something, but maybe he was being a bit harsh on the guy.

Wade, however, he knew better.

"Wade is a decent guy. He wouldn't judge you or anything like that," he said with a glance towards the bedroom. He could still hear Wade snore occasionally, so he was obviously still asleep. "But there is one thing..."

He sighed, because he didn't want to highlight Wade's past. But it had really thrown him for a loop back when they'd first become friends.

"He might get kind of... intense? He grew up in a super conservative home. Not to say he's bigoted or anything. Actually he's more... aggressively inclusive?" He winced, because Wade always put 120% of his energy into making sure that everyone around him felt comfortable and included. "He did so much research when we first became friends. I think sometimes he knows more about Kumiho than I do."

 

[Reynarda]

Azrael eyed Lev for a few seconds when he insisted it wasn't that obvious. "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

Thea rolled their eyes. Dr. Drake really needed to get used to people trying to soften things.

Azrael had to stop herself from explaining to the pair of them why, exactly, they should not want anything to do with her. That wasn't what people who wanted to keep their friends did.

Thea chuckled to themself. They got Lev's concern, but they had seen Percival come in and out of the clinic. Often times he summoned Dr. Drake to his office which ticked her off so much that Thea was instructed to inform Percival's administrative assistant that Dr. Drake was in various states of health--dead being Thea's personal favorite. If they didn't have a friendship, they were at least on good terms. And Thea sort of got the feeling that Azrael knew more about Percival than she was letting on.

Azrael shrugged. "He knows better than to snitch because I'd just beat him up."

She wouldn't. But she would definitely break his office heater. And probably the heater in his penthouse. She'd give him fever reducers, too. She'd make sure he was frigid.

"'Aggressively inclusive'?" Azrael echoed. She chuckled at the thought of Wade, a human, knowing more about Kumiho than an actual Kumiho. "Well, I guess we can't leave him out since everyone else knows," she said with a slight shrug. Though a part of her worried Wade would try to warn Lev off.

"Ok," Thea said, letting all their breath out in a rush. "Do vampires actually have reflections? Can you cross moving water? Do you need grave dirt from your home? Will you show up on film?"

Azrael sighed. She had been dreading this, but it wasn't that bad. "Yes, yes, no, and you've forced me into multiple pictures with you, Thea."

"Can you turn into smoke?"

"If I could do that, I wouldn't have you tell people I wasn't in," Azrael pointed out. "Now no more questions. We should probably all get to sleep."

Her pocket vibrated and she frowned. She pulled out her phone and frowned at the number. "I don't know who this is."

Thea took her phone and flipped it open. They shrugged. "Someone with a sick kid. Our first appointment is free."

"Text them back then."

Thea did so, giving them the 9am appointment, then glanced at Azrael. "How old are you? Like 100?"

"32," Azrael said.

"What? I assumed your birth year on your license was a lie. I thought you were secretly ancient."

Azrael winced slightly. Her birth year was not a lie, but the rest of it was. For nearly two years, Thea had been energetically celebrating a day that was a random date she had picked. "Nope. In vampire years, I'm barely out of my teens."

With a firm nod, Azrael rocked to her feet. "Now, you all need to get some sleep."

"Do vampires sleep?" Thea stage whispered.

"Yes, and I'm going to make a good go of it since I have you two to watch my back," Azrael said. "The couch is yours, Thea."

 

[AlphaBlueWolf]

Zorion's attention shifted to his phone as he got the new message. "Sorry, bud. One sec." He whispered to Alistair as his hand moved off of his head and over to his phone. He read the message and replied back saying that was perfect and thanking Dr. Drake. He hit send then flipped his phone off and put it onto his nightstand. He then went to feel Alistair again, and even after the cloth and tea, his fever was still there. He returned to rubbing his head with rhythmic scratches.

After a while of tossing, turning, and a couple of coughing fits, Alistair had finally fallen asleep. His fox plush had fallen out of his hold which Zorion fixed for him once he had noticed. Zorion used one hand to rub his own eyes. He was so tired and knew he would be a zombie tomorrow. He let out a heavy sigh and finally got comfortable under the sheets. He then closed his eyes and tried to get as much sleep as he could with only the few hours that were left of the night.

 

[Snowcloud Dreamer]

"ooh don't think I've seen any of the live action one." She shrugs, then nods "Ahh yea, I don't remember any more of his name then that either. but his cloud surfing ability was rather cool I always wanted to try that." She comments then watches you take your turn. "so I'll have to be exta careful on the next card swap." she smirks. "well as for what they are about lots of things. Unlike cartoons here anime is not seen as a little kids only thing. Actually we can thank, or more appropriately toss a brick at, Disney for the notion that cartoons are only for kids. as quite sometime ago they managed to take over all the competing animation studios for quite some time. And of course they really did only release Cartoons for kids. it wasn't until much latter that other animation studios where able to again get enough prominence to have any non strictly kids cartoons start to become more well known. but by then many people got stuck with that notion and even today there's still more western cartoons for kids then older people that idea still hangs on." She sighs a bit "Anyways about anime. I like a few different kinds. there's ones that got a fairly deep plot and fun mystery to unravel as the story progress; Martian Successor Nadesico, and Last Exile fit this bill. There's Nice slice of life animes like Lucky Star, or Kaleido Star. Where the focus is more on the characters and their everyday lives. Then there's ones that are good to watch just for the wacky fun. Like Excel Saga." she then pauses to think. "hum I think my favorite is Last Exile"

 

[AlphaBlueWolf]

Skye nodded along to what Akari was saying. She had only ever watched cartoons as a kid and, back then, she hadn't thought too hard about how cartoons were only ever made for kids. She just sat and enjoyed what she was watching. "It's a bit disappointing, honestly." She replied, "From what I remember, you can do so much with animation. Cool effects and fast movements. That kind of stuff isn't so easy to do with live action. I mean you can, but it just doesn't look as good. Like in Sabrina, Salem was a puppet most of the time so they could make him talk and other times they'd bring in a real cat for when he needed to run or move without him talking. But, animation gives you such a big variety on stuff you can do. More than with real people anyways."

She listened to Akari talk about the different anime she was into. She figured she'd like anime if she every got to watch one since it was more geared towards older audiences and she was now older. "Well, that all does seem very interesting."

She had noticed that the café wasn't as busy anymore. In fact, it seemed like there was barely anyone there at all. She took notice of the time being a little over one in the morning. "Oh shoot!" She said, "It's getting late. I should probably be going. I don't know if your going into work tomorrow. But, I don't want to keep you anymore. And they look like their closing soon anyways."

Skye stuffed down the rest of her waffle, which she had barely eaten, and drank the rest of her coffee. She was left with an aching feeling in her stomach. She remembered her mother telling her that it wasn't good to scarf down food and drinks in one go. She silently apologized to her mother in her head before handing over her cards to Akari. She stood up and pushed in her chair. "Well, it was nice to meet you." She said cheerfully and smiled.

 

[Mikotsuhime]

Lev decided that if Azrael was ok with Percival knowing, he would trust her judgement. He didn't actually hate the guy the way Wade did.

But that didn't mean he was overly fond of him, either. He was perfectly capable of spending time with him, being civil, and even joking around and whatnot. But he knew Wade better than most people, and he knew that whatever Percival had done to sever their friendship had messed him up bad. There were always several sides to any story, but Lev was tempted to side with his best friend.

"I think it's a good idea," Lev agreed, because Wade would want to know. He understood why people hid things, but he did not like being lied to. Finding out down the line from somebody else would probably cause serious strain on the friendship he and Azrael were building, as well as his friendship with Lev.

He would be willing to talk later, but Azrael was right. They really should all be turning in. Lev had Saturday off, but he had a feeling Wade would be going into the office.

"Ok, sleep sounds great," he said with a yawn. He didn't feel like shifting back, but the blanket nest on the ground was good enough for him. He cuddled up in it and drifted off as everybody went to sleep.

Wade's watch was what woke Lev up in the morning, an annoying shrill beeping from the bedroom that went on for a few minutes before a sleepy Wade grumpily turned it off.

He sat up in bed, blinking blearily as he looked around the room. This was not his room, and it was not his apartment. He yawned behind one hand as he glanced at his watch and grimaced.

It was 7:30. He had hoped to go into work to do the preliminary research necessary for their latest project. There were a few ideas he wanted to get straight before the team got started, and he wanted to be prepared to lead them once they got there.

He had assumed he'd spend all of last night playing before passing out at home with a bottle of brandy, so he'd set the alarm to further torture himself. But he was not at home and he was not hung over, so it seemed his plans went awry.

Azrael had taken him home and given him soup. Percival had not defended him in front of his father, but he had stayed behind. He even almost seemed to care. It was weird, but he decided he didn't want to analyze it too much. That was a problem for future Wade to deal with.

He tried to be silent as he opened the bedroom door so he didn't wake the others on his way out, but Lev was already sitting up and giving him a look.

"Working on a Saturday?" he asked, his voice low and quiet, though he had a feeling Azrael at least was a light sleeper so it wouldn't matter.

Wade winced, then shrugged his shoulders.

"Just a bit," he said stretching. He wondered if he could get away with going straight to the office, or if he'd get railed for not wearing a suit. It was more than likely, but his apartment was decidedly not in this part of town, and he did not fancy an hour long cab ride.



Percival had been dreading seeing Normandy that night, but she had just slapped him on the shoulder and told him to get his head on straight. He hadn't expected much better, but it still stung a little bit.

He knew better than anyone that he couldn't go against what his parents wanted, but that didn't make it any easier to lie to everyone around him.

He didn't work Saturdays. His job, while he was fairly good at it, was largely a result of nepotism over hard work. He could probably not even go to work at all and still get paid, but he took some degree of his duties seriously. He refused to live solely on his father's coattails, even if he had to cling to them regardless.

Normandy was sleeping when he left, his hair perfectly coiffed and his suit impeccable as always. His smile when he greeted the security guard was slightly strained, and he was glad the receptionist was off duty on weekends. He didn't think he could handle flirting right now.

It was early enough that not many people were there yet. The warming pill from last night had worn off, and he felt more lethargic than usual as he shuffled his way towards the cafe like a zombie.

 

[Reynarda]

Azrael's body couldn't decide if it wanted to sleep lightly or as heavy as a blood-less sleep would let her. She would be deep in a dreamless sleep when Thea would mumble something in their sleep and she would startle awake, certain someone was in her apartment with a silver knife. She hadn't shared a room since her undergraduate dorms.

She was in one of those deep sleeps when Wade's alarm went off. She jerked awake, hand searching for her silver scalpel, but she quickly relaxed when she saw the other two. She curled back up in the chair and tucked her head against her shoulder.

Thea lay nearly face-down on the couch. They hadn't stirred all night besides their random sleep mumbles, and at one point Azrael had crept over to make sure they were still breathing. They did not wake up when Wade's alarm went off. But they did wake up when Lev spoke. With a groan, they stretched and sat up.

Saying Thea was a morning person would be like saying the sun only shone at noon. Thea loved all parts of the day for their individual charm. But they did rather like the morning.

It was awfully dark in the Doc's living room, they reasoned as they stood, stretching. It needed a bit of light. Reaching the windows, Thea threw open the blackout curtains.

With a sharp spine-chilling hiss, Azrael flipped out of the chair and crouched in it's shadow.

Thea snapped the curtains closed and spun around, their arms held out. "Oh stars! Doc, I'm so sorry! I thought the sunlight thing was a myth!" The hurried over to where Azrael was crouched, hands over her eyes. "Oh gosh, please don't tell me you're turning to ash. Oh man, oh man oh man oh--"

"Thea," Azrael groaned, swatting their hands away. "Stop. I'm fine. I just don't have my glasses on."

"Did I blind you?!" Thea asked, trying to get Azrael to look at them.

"No, you just fried my retinae, that's all," Azrael said dryly. She fluttered her eyes opened and then blinked rapidly. "Your color scheme does that every day anyway."

"Rude," Thea said, looking carefully in the Doc's eyes. They looked ok, but they honestly had no clue how to check to make sure vampire eyes were ok. They'd never seen someone's pupils so tiny. Thea found her glasses in a little travel case on the coffee table and handed them to her. "Would coffee make it better?"

Azrael humphed, relaxing her scowl as she slid the glasses on.

"Well good morning," Thea said.

"Is it."

Thea rolled their eyes good-naturedly. Dr. Drake not being a morning person was not news to them. They turned to Lev and Wade with a grin. "Well good morning to you two. Sleep well, Wade? How was the coffin?"

Azrael rolled her eyes. She would have to explain Thea's bad jokes in a second, but she needed coffee first.

"Ew, who works on Saturdays?" Thea asked with a scowl.

"Me," Azrael said dryly. "You scheduled me an appointment."

"Oh, crap, I forgot. I can come in."

"No. Someone's child has a fever, right? I can handle it."

Thea narrowed their eyes, remembering the previous night. "I'm coming in," they decided.

They had that stubborn look on their face, and Azrael figured she wouldn't win. "Do what you wish."

It hit Azrael that she had guests over and two of them were humans and humans had breakfast.

"Oh!" she said, scrambling to her feet. "What do you usually eat for breakfast? I think I have, uh, fruit?"

 

[AlphaBlueWolf]

Zorion woke to the sound of his alarm clock beeping. He drowsily shut it off after Alistair had groaned and complained about the sound. He put his arm on his forehead and opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling. He felt tired and for a few seconds contemplated on not going into work. Then he remembered about Alistair's fever and the appointment. He rubbed his eyes and finally sat up. "Alistair, remind me, what's you favorite thing to eat for breakfast?" He said playfully. He already knew, but he wanted to give his son some excitement.

Alistair sat up, slowly, and croaked out the word, "Flapjacks?"

"That's right, and guess what your getting today."

"Flapjacks? Daddy are you gonna make me flapjacks?" His voice still sounded shrill but you could tell he was excited. His fox tail wagged wildly at the thought of getting his favorite thing for breakfast.

Zorion nodded, "Lay back down. I'll get you when its ready." He pulled off the covers and got out of bed. He went into the tiny kitchen and started preparing to make the pancakes. He always loved that Alistair referred to pancakes as flapjacks. He found it adorable and even started to refer to them as flapjacks himself when Alistair was around.

He hummed as he started making the food. "Daddy!" Alistair called, "I wanna see you flip them." Luckily he hadn't turned on the stove yet. Only the batter had been made which made it easier for him to go in and grab Alistair. He picked up Alistair and as he turned Alistair said, "Wait!" He turned back to see that he didn't have the fox plush with him. He shifted Alistair to hold him with one arm and bent to pick up the plush. He stood and gave it to Alistair.

He felt Alistair's head. Still hot. He picked up the cloth which Alistair had likely taken off and went back into the kitchen. He put Alistair and the cloth down onto a counter in the kitchen before taking Alistair's seat from their small table and picking it up to put next to the stove. He helped him up to the chair and then said, "Be careful." in a stern voice. Alistair nodded before looking intently to the pan that had been set on the stove.

Zorion went to wet the cloth and rung it out before placing it onto Alistair's forehead, "Hold this on, ok?" Alistair nodded and did what he was told. Zorion then turned on the stove and poured a little bit of the batter onto the pan. When it was ready to be flipped, he took a spatula and put it under. He swiftly flipped it onto its other side. Alistair seemed to be enjoying the show like he always did.

He made three other pancakes and put them onto two different plates. One for him and the other for Alistair. He cut up his son's pancakes and drizzled a bunch of syrup on them. He then took Alistair off the chair and put it back to the small table. He put the food onto the table and then once again helped Alistair onto the chair.

He helped him get the first pancake bit onto his fork and fed it to him. Alistair insisted on being able to do it himself. He let him feed himself while keeping a close eye on him. Zorion then dug into his on pancakes, enjoying every bite of them just like his son.

 

[Mikotsuhime]

Lev winced and Wade startled as Azrael decided to show off her inner nosferatu by hiding as soon as the curtains were open.

Lev opened his mouth to say something, but Wade just scowled as he glowered at Azrael.

"Let me guess," he grumbled, throwing his hands up into the air. "Another freakin' secret vampire. Everyone's a goddamned secret vampire around here."

He was muttering to himself because he didn't really want Thea hearing him, but also he had to complain because this was ridiculous.

Percival had used to react that way to sunlight when Wade would pull the curtains on him napping in the nurse's office during class. So, logically, she had to be a secret vampire ad not, just, say, an evening person.

"It was fine, thanks," he said dryly, in the tone of voice of somebody who decided he would rather just go back to bed. It was too early for this.

Lev pinched him.

"You're being a dick," he pointed out, and Wade actually snarled at him like a dog.

"I am not being a dick, this is too much excitement in the morning, and I still have to deal with the shitstorm Charles Fairweather caused for my mom," he grumbled. The reminder of vampires had thrown that back into stark focus.

He took in a deep breath, counting to five before letting it out.

"Sorry," he mumbled, because he wasn't angry at Azrael and she hadn't actually done anything wrong. "I'm not-- I mean, you don't have to, like, say anything or anything, and I didn't mean to blow up. Thanks for bringing me over last night. I really wasn't in a great place, and I appreciated it a lot."

He didn't sound angry anymore, just tired as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Lev wasn't sure whether to be annoyed at him, frustrated, or worried about him.

"Are you going home before work?" he asked, and Wade frowned.

"I don't have time," he muttered, glancing at his watch. Lev grimaced.

"Do you at least have your meds with you?" He asked, and Wade quickly avoided his gaze.

"Look, I'll take them when I get home, ok? Sorry. I know I'm being a mood killer and everything. You guys have breakfast, ok?"

 

[Reynarda]

Unfortunately for Wade, Thea had extremely sharp hearing for a human. They bristled, opening their mouth to fuss at Wade for being a jerk, but Azrael rested her hand on their arm. The gestured startled them so much, they glanced back at their boss. Thea was a very touchy sort of person, but they had learned very early on that Dr. Drake did not like being touched. At first they had thought it was that she was being professional, but they quickly guessed it was something else. As she slowly warmed up to them, they had tried friendly shoulder bumps and the like. Dr. Drake slowly accepted the gestures, but she had never initiated them.

But now they knew her secret, Thea realized that it was almost like a weight had been lifted from Azrael's shoulders.

Azrael didn't look the slightest bit insulted. If anything, she looked like Wade had just challenged her to something she was confident he was about to lose.

"Well, Mr. Harper, since you are so familiar with 'freakin' secret vampires', then you know our rules of hospitality. Sit down. I'm feeding you breakfast whether you like it or not."

Thea sighed. They figured a gentler touch might work better, but something about Wade's stubbornness seemed to activate Dr. Drake's stubbornness. "Wait, what rules of hospitality?"

Azrael was in the process of pulling fruit and eggs from her fridge. "We have very specific rules of hospitality. When I invited you into my home, I essentially promised protection and care. I am fulfilling that promise."

"In that case, I want ice cream for breakfast."

Azrael eyed Thea over the top of her glasses. "Abusing that hospitality is a good way to get thrown out on your ear. Anyway, you already ate all my ice cream."

"Fine. May I please have scrambled eggs, oh great freakin' secret vampire?"

"Of course. What does everyone else want?" Azrael glanced over at Wade. "What medication?" she asked. In her experience, medication that needed to be taken daily absolutely should not be put off. "I can call the pharmacy across the street from the office and get you a single dose. I have a special deal with them. They'll give it to you at cost."

She casually scrambled Thea's eggs, her eyes on her task. "What did Charles Fairweather do to your mother?"

Thea glanced at her. Her voice was conversational, but Dr. Drake did not have a conversational tone. They had only heard that tone of voice once, when Dr. Drake had gotten one of the insurance bigwigs on the phone. She had threatened them with a lawsuit, quoting their own contract at them and explaining exactly what they would be charged with and exactly what the sentence would be. The company had covered the patient she had been calling about, and Thea had not had trouble with a prior-authorization since.

Whatever Azrael was thinking, Charles Fairweather would not like it.

 

[Mikotsuhime]

Wade had to admit, he was very surprised when Azrael did not get upset at his rudeness, or call him an asshole. He was so surprised that he stopped the process of looking for his shoes to look up at her in shock.

"Um," he said, because when he was being grumpy and standoffish, people generally avoided him. It was very rare that being grumpy and standoffish didn't actually work.

Lev patted him on the back, and for a second he looked so offended that he almost left anyways. But he was trying to be prickly, he wasn't actually trying to be a dick. He didn't want to ruin his relationship with Azrael, and she didn't know him as well as Lev did. So he sat down in the chair she had vacated, his face pinched.

"I don't really-- I don't usually eat breakfast anyways," he pointed out, just to be contrary. Lev didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't quite the gotcha he thought it was.

"Eggs are fine with me," Lev said as he settled himself back in his blanket nest. "Wade?"

Wade scowled at him, because they were ganging up on him and it wasn't fair.

"Coffee," he said, and Lev narrowed his eyes.

"That's not food."

"Fine, fine. An english muffin then, if you're gonna be so damned pushy," he grumbled, even though he would gladly eat eggs. But if they were going to push him, he'd be as obstinate and annoying as possible.

When Azrael asked about his medication, though, he stiffened.

It wasn't... It wasn't really a secret. Lev knew about it. Lev's parents knew about it, and Wade's mom knew about it. Clara knew about it. So there was really no reason to hide it. But he still felt a hint of shame as he became very interested in inspecting the threads of the armchair.

"Zoloft," he said. "And Cipralex. 75mg and 10mg."

Lev was a bit surprised he admitted it so readily. It had taken quite a bit of needling before he actually agreed to try medication a year or so ago. He was kind of proud that Wade felt comfortable enough with Azrael and Thea to say it out loud.

Maybe being a doctor helped.

Wade did not really want to answer Azrael's next question. Answering would require explaining things he wasn't really comfortable sharing.

"You don't have to be specific," Lev pointed out. Wade's mouth twisted, but he suspected Azrael might tie him to the chair until he admitted it.

Maybe it would be better to get it out in the open anyways. Just rip the bandaid off, so everything about how rotten his family was was out in the open. It would probably scare Azrael and Thea away. That was probably for the better. Maybe if he was as blunt as possible, it would startle her.

That was a bad train of thought. He needed to get that under control.

"He leaked my mom's address to a tabloid magazine," he said bitterly. He realized it probably didn't make sense without the context. He didn't want to give the context. It was far too heavy for a Saturday morning. "It-- She just wants to live, you know? It's been a really long time since everything happened. She doesn't want to deal with reporters, or give statements, or talk about how she's living twelve years later."

She had told him shortly after the lawsuit that she never, ever wanted to be in the public eye again. That the entire time she had had to pretend that his father was a good person and a good political candidate because she had signed a prenup and needed to provide for her son had been the most degrading time in her life. The fact that Charles Fairweather had taken that from her as some kind of punishment because Wade swore at the guys in marketing a little too often was unforgivable.

"I'm trying to help her find a new apartment," he said finally, his entire body slumping into the chair. "She has to get a new job and a new place to live because of this."

She had been trying to save money for her retirement. They had lost all of their wealth in the lawsuit, when his mother had finally decided she wasn't going to let his father rule her anymore. It had been a hard transition at first, but nowadays Wade's job was good enough that he could send her money home regularly, and she picked up shifts at the supermarket and babysat to make ends meet.

 

[Reynarda]

Azrael smirked slightly at the surprised look Wade shot her. He didn't know she knew why he was being diskish about her being a vampire. And if she hadn't felt so comfortable with Lev and Thea knowing, she might have drop-kicked him out of her home. But she had also been asked to make sure Thea didn't take Percival personally. He could bluster all he wanted, she wasn't fooled.

She did look up and scowl at him when he put in his request, though. Were it anyone else, she might have been apologetic about not having anything to turn into an English muffin, but Wade was just being a punk. She waved the spatula at him. "Your options are eggs and fruit, Wade Harper. You test me and I'll take the time to go to the store to get you an English muffin while you sit here and wait. Or I can make you a smoothie."

Azrael kept her eyes on the eggs she was preparing for Lev, giving Wade space to produce the names of the medications. She could guess at the sorts, but she wasn't sure what dosage and the specific medications. She thought about giving him her "the brain is just another organ" lecture but figured that would be better used at a different time.

Instead Azrael just flipped her phone open as she put Lev's eggs on a plate and handed them to him. Glancing at Wade, she asked, "Do you have a driver's license? I'll need your date of birth and address to call those in."

"The Apothecary is a great pharmacy," Thea said. "I'm always forgetting my meds. Doc is always calling a few doses in for me."

Azrael nodded. The pharmacist came from a long line of alchemists, and she put it to use working with medications. Azrael had saved her mother's life when she'd had a heart attack, and they'd had a good working relationship ever since.

"Don't abuse it, though," Azrael said. "I don't call in medications for kicks and giggles. If you do, I'm going to make you a patient and have Thea set up a physical."

"Might even need a prostate exam," Thea said, giving Wade a wicked grin.

Azrael sighed. "Stop threatening people with prostate exams. They're not that bad."

"You've never had one," Thea pointed out.

When Wade explained, Azrael immediately thought of all the things she could do to make Charles Fairweather pay for going after Wade's mom. It would be easier if it weren't just her, if her family were here. One of her uncles had become obsessed with computers and she was fairly certain he could hack into their system and leak tax information. Also there was Percival to think of. She didn't want him to get caught in the crossfire.

"Does your mom live around here?" Thea asked, reminding Azrael that doctors helped the victim, not attacked the perpetrator. "We totally need a receptionist."

Azrael was fairly sure Wade had mentioned his mom living elsewhere. She wasn't sure where, and she didn't really have contacts. Maybe she could email her aunt and see if she had contacts. Her mother's youngest sister was closer to Azrael's own age and supposedly kept their sporadic conversations private, but she had a feeling her mother looked the other way in the hopes Azrael would reach out if she needed them.

"Our PM system is online," Azrael mused, another idea forming in her mind. She doubted Wade's mother would want to be in the same building as the Fairweathers even if she did live around here.

"It was made in the 80s," Thea groaned.

"It's not too bad once you get the hang of it," Azrael said, though she personally hated it. "I technically have leeway in my contract for two assistants and one receptionist of my choosing. It wouldn't be difficult to set up a forwarding line for her. We could provide the technology of course."

"Maybe you should warn him the last receptionist quit in tears," Thea said. "Before you get too ahead of yourself."

Azrael sighed. She still wasn't really sure what had happened there. "I just asked him not to not play spider solitaire while talking to patients and he started crying. But he was always getting their information wrong. He marked a sixty-five year-old man with throat cancer as being seven months old."

"Wait, seriously?" Thea had assumed Azrael had been really blunt about something. That had been before their time at the office. "Did you have a scary face on?"

Come to think of it, the man had always flattened himself against the wall when she passed him. "Maybe," she conceded.

Thea took a bite of their eggs and waved their fork. "Well, it's an option, anyway."

"Even if she only wanted to do it temporarily while she found something else." Azrael shrugged and handed Wade a cup of coffee. "No pressure and no hard feelings if not. We could just use the help, is all."

 

[Mikotsuhime]

Wade did not pout, because he was a grown man and grown men did not pout. But he did sulk a little bit.

"Fruit, then," he said, because he wasn't really up for eggs. He didn't like to eat heavy things in the morning, and eggs tended to be on the heavy side.

Lev was honestly pretty impressed with Azrael's Wade-handling skills, and found himself feeling a little proud in spite of himself.

"Yeah, it's in my wallet," Wade said, fishing it out of his pocket and flipping it open. He had about thirty different rewards cards, gas cards and stamp cards that he shuffled through to get to his driver's licence. He handed it over as Lev took a bite out of his eggs.

When Azrael told him not to make a habit of it, he found himself huffing. He wasn't THAT much of a disaster.

"Yeah, yeah. If you're doing a prostate exam you better have a hot urologist," he said offhandedly, and Lev choked. Wade looked up to see if there was a glass of water, and quickly grabbed one of the cups from their tea last night. He filled it in the kitchen, and handed it to Lev so the poor fox didn't die or something.

"Don't do that," Lev grunted, wiping his mouth. "You almost killed me."

"Sorry," Wade said with a shrug. "We've got a doctor here anyways, so she could give you cpr or something."

If he was in a better mood, he would have made a joke about mouth to mouth with a waggle of his eyebrows. Azrael and Lev were lucky.

He was very surprised, though, when Azrael and Thea offered to give his mom a job just like that. They hadn't even met her. They didn't know who she was, or who his dad was. And, well, considering Azrael was a vampire, she might think twice if she knew his mother had married one of the most violently racist men in the country.

"She doesn't live here," he said, because his mother HATED New York. She said the city smelled like ass. "She lives near Seattle. She's all about small towns and suburbs over big cities."

He wondered if she would be willing to accept a job, or if she'd consider it charity. He was touched that they were even offering, and he found his mouth opening and closing a few times before he nodded.

"I.... Yeah. I could. I mean. I could bring it up to her. I mean. Thank you? Thank you. I don't-- I didn't really expect that. I mean, I didn't bring it up to, like, guilt you into doing something."

 

[Reynarda]

Smirking like the cat that ate the canary, Azrael placed grapes, banana chunks, strawberries, and kiwi in a bowl and handed it off to Wade.

Once she had his license, she called in the medications. That completed, Azrael curled herself onto the couch near Lev with a cup of coffee.

Thea waved a fork full of eggs. "You realize the Doc would be doing the exam, yeah? She's only one out of two of those things."

"They are not a big deal," Azrael said, rolling her eyes. "And that would be the Heimlich since he's choking."

"Which is not as fun as CPR," Thea said, because they were thinking mouth to mouth.

Azrael shrugged at Wade's surprise. She figured his mother wouldn't like the idea of charity, and she could respect that. "Mm, she might not want it. Seattle is three hours off. We start taking calls at 8:30."

"Anyway, don't thank us. Doc is only offering because she's tired of me complaining," Thea added.

"She'd be doing me a favor," Azrael agreed even though Thea never actually complained. "And don't thank us. Your mom might not be thanking us after working with me for a whole day."

"Terrible," Thea agreed with a wink. "The absolute worst boss ever."

Azrael smiled and downed the rest of her coffee. "Well, I need to get changed so I don't look like something the cat dragged in. Just put the dishes in the sink. I'll wash up later."

"Who all is going in?" Thea asked, immediately starting to wash the dishes because their mamma didn't raise no bum. "We can take the subway together."

 

[AlphaBlueWolf]

Zorion had gotten up to pour some water for Alistair after he had broken into another coughing fit. He gave the glass to Alistair and stood there while he drank. "Better?" He asked

Alistair nodded. He hung onto his fox plush while Zorion sat back in his seat. He watched him take another bite of his pancake. Zorion noted the time and quickly finished his own pancake so he could get him and Alistair ready. He quickly went into their bedroom and opened up their closet. He took out his normal work attire as well as clothes for Alistair. He plopped them on the couch and went into the bathroom to fix his hair.

"Daddy. Your going into work today?" Alistair called. His voice shook like he was about to cry.

Zorion came out of the bathroom with a comb in his hand. "Yes I am. But your coming with me. You'll get to see all about my work and even meet some nice people who are going to help you feel all better again." He hoped Dr. Drake wouldn't be too dry towards Alistair and more upbeat since they were dealing with a child. He had heard Thea was the more upbeat one and desperately hoped that they would be in today. He figured that they would know the best how to deal with a sick child and make them feel comfortable. He hated how the doctor office he regularly took Alistair to were always very dismissive of him. The human doctors looked at Alistair like some kind of creature that shouldn't exist. The inhumans just looked at him with pity. They knew how he would only have so long to live, given his current condition, and could only give him half-hearted smiles. Like it pained them more to see him, knowing how his fate would end, than it was for him to actually go through all this pain. It got him so pissed. If things went well, maybe he would just always take Alistair to his work clinic when he was ill. Then again, it might be a pain for his team.

"Really? I get to see your work?" His voice was full of excitement despite how much pain he seemed to be in.

Zorion nodded, "But it really isn't all that exciting. You might get bored." He also felt like Alistair's dyslexia could get in the way of understanding a lot about his job given it was a lot of reading and writing. But, he didn't say anything about it. He stepped back into the bathroom to fix his hair. He never liked wearing hair gel and never did. No one really wore gel back in his home town and he always hated it. It always felt unnatural to him.

"I won't get bored." Alistair insisted, "If its where you work it can't be boring."

Zorion's heart melted. His son was the sweetest boy he had ever known. He finished combing his hair and took out the brush he always used for Alistair's hair which was too puffy to just use a comb. "Well maybe you should bring..." He trailed off as he walked back over to Alistair and saw his face was a mess. His mouth was covered in sugary syrup. He gave a soft chuckle. "You silly little goose." He set the brush down and got a paper towel. He lightly drizzled some water on it and then wiped off the syrup from Alistair's mouth.

"There all better. Anyways I think you should bring something to keep you occupied. Something that isn't too noisy though. I work with a lot of other people and I promised my boss you wouldn't be any trouble." He had taken up the brush again and began to brush out all the knots in Alistair's puffy orange hair.

"Hmmm. Then I'll bring Peter Pan." He knew that he was referring to the book he had gotten Alistair. He had loved the Peter Pan movie so much that he decided to get him the book for his birthday. He almost loved that book as much as his fox plush, even though he couldn't read it himself. Zorion always read the book to him before bedtime.

"Are you sure? I won't be able to read it to you. I'll have to work." He didn't want to mention his dyslexia. He never liked to bring him down. He kept brushing and had to look to make sure he wasn't hitting the two little buds that were supposed to be Alistair's horns. He assumed that the horns weren't growing so much because of the young boy's heritage. But, no professional doctor ever knew when or if the horns would ever grow bigger.

"It's alright. I can read it myself." Zorion wasn't so convinced. One of the reasons they had to hold Alistair back in 4th grade was because of his dyslexia. He thought that it would be too hard for him and he'd get frustrated like he always did when he had trouble reading.

"Well, alright. Do you wanna bring anything else?"

Alistair shook his head. "Nope. Just the book and Pan." Pan was Alistair's fox plush. He had finished brushing Alistair's hair and got his clothes. When Alistair saw them he groaned and protested. "Daddy! Why can't I just wear these." He was referring to his pajamas.

"Because your going into my work and need to look nice. Besides I'm not wearing my Pj's either. Think of it like your going into school." Alistair groaned again at the thought of school and crossed his arms. "Sorry, mister, but that's how it is. No buts." He helped him get into his clothes, which Alistair wasn't making easy for him, and he was ready. Zorion then went to put his own clothes on. He put on his belt and tie and they were finally ready to go. He grabbed the book off of the nightstand in their room and handed it to Alistair who gave a tiny cough.

Alistair didn't seem happy, which was likely both because of his fever and the fact that he couldn't be comfortable in his pajamas. Zorion picked him up and made sure he had both the book and his fox plush before opening the door to his apartment and then locking up to head to work. He walked out and off to work.

 

[Snowcloud Dreamer]

Akari nodded and she also noticed this and sighed. "I guess time flys when your having fun." She nods and takes the cards back and puts them away. "And yea I do have to work tomorrow I sighed up for the weekends anyways, hopefully I'll see ya latter. have a good night." she says and waves to sky before she goes to finish her food before leaving as well

---

Saturday morning Akari shows up for work early next morning, since she's gotten there a bit before her shift starts she heads to the cafe to see if she can get a snack, and to fill up her neopets themed water bottle, and pulls out a mix packet for Pocari Sweat and mixes it up, then also gets herself a muffin. today she is dressed in a more plain black jumper and with a white short sleeved shirt under it and a plain pair of flats, she sits down at a table in the cafe to much on her food and wake up a bit more. She figured the office wouldn't be as crowded today and that's part of why she asked for today, while she is trying to get to be more sociable still having time where it's less crowed helps her introverted side feel less pressured. She looks around the cafe as she munches on her snack.

 

[Mikotsuhime]

Wade looked down at the bowl of fruit like it had personally offended him, but he started to eat it anyways.

"I'll pass then," he said with a mouthful of kiwi. "We're friends and all, but I don't think we're good enough friends for you to stick your fingers in my ass."

Lev groaned, because of course he would say something like that.

"Is that something you usually do with friends?" he asked dryly, and Wade shrugged.

"Depends how drunk I am," he said casually, as though this was a normal conversation to have with coworkers. Lev was a little glad Rowan wasn't here, because he had a feeling the poor kid would have caught on fire by now.

Wade swallowed the last of his breakfast as Lev finished up his eggs. He stared down at the empty bowl, wondering if his mom would be interested. She always woke up at like five am like a crazy person anyways, and she would enjoy ending the day earlier as well.

He wasn't entirely sure what the tight feeling in his chest was, but he decided he definitely didn't hate it.

Standing up, he stretched and took everyone's plates to the sink.

"I'll ask her about it," he said, and he wasn't quite smiling, but he sure felt a lot lighter.

Lev looked to Thea and shook his head.

"If I go in on the weekends, my boss gets mad," he said pointedly, and Wade responded with a rude gesture.

"Part of my job is ensuring a healthy work-life balance," he recited as though he were reading from a book. Lev rolled his eyes, but he didn't push it.

"I'll bring you lunch if you want. Just be prepared for onions and collard greens. My dad decided to try balcony farming again," he said fondly, in the same tone of voice his mother used when she talked about her husband's many adventures in hobby.

Wade thought it over, then shrugged.

"I won't say no to your dad's cooking, but only if you're in the area. You guys just going in for the morning?" He glanced at Azrael and Thea as he got his shoes and coat on.

He did not particularly enjoy the subway on the best of days, and he wrinkled his nose a bit, but nodded. He couldn't afford another cab, and it was too far to walk. Subway it was.

 

[Reynarda]

"We are friends," Azrael agreed, her tone bone-dry, "but I don't particularly want to stick my fingers up your anus, either."

Thea choked on their own spit. They really needed to have a conversation with Wade about not being crass with Dr. Drake because she would try to rival him--Thea didn't even think it was a conscious effort, it just meant she made less of an effort to be tactful. Honestly, the two of them were going to give Thea a headache.

Snorting at the rude gesture, Thea shook their head as they washed Azrael's coffee mug. "My boss gets mad when I show up to work regardless of the day."

"That's because you're chronically late," Azrael called from the bathroom, her mouth full of bobby pins. Azrael didn't actually mind nearly as much as she pretended to. Despite being a New Yorker, Thea had an abiding belief that the trains ran like they were supposed to. She stuck her head out of the bathroom and arched an eyebrow at Wade. "Doesn't that work/life balance apply to you, Mr. Harper?"

"I'm going in to make sure Dr. Drake doesn't scare the children," Thea said, drying their hands on the towel hanging from the oven.

Adjusting her collar, Azrael made a face at them through the hallway mirror. Azrael was not actually bad with kids, she just thought she was. Thea personally thought that anyone who thought Dr. Drake was scary should sit in on her examining a kid. It was what had initially made them realize their intimidating boss was not as aloof as she seemed.

"Oh my gosh! She has a reflection!" Thea said with a grin.

Azrael tapped the mirror with a knuckle. "It's not silver-backed."

"Wait, seriously?"

Azrael's face was completely neutral as she said, "Yes. I don't show up in silver-backed mirrors."

Thea stared at her, mouth open. "Really? Why?"

"Vampire souls don't like silver."

Thea was about to ask why vampire souls didn't like silver when they noticed the tiny, barely visible upward tick of Dr. Drake's mouth. Thea's eyes narrowed. "You're screwing with me."

"One hundred percent," Azrael said, the smirk becoming obvious as it spread. "Mirrors catch reflected light. Anything that doesn't show up in a mirror is not reflecting light, which means your eyes wouldn't be able to see it, either."

"And on that note, we're off to the subway," Thea said.

Azrael frowned. She usually walked to work, but she supposed it would be a bit far to walk with several humans in tow. She just hoped there weren't too many people about and about at this time. With a huff, she looped her messenger bag across her chest and tucked her travel mug in the pocket. "Well let's go then. With Thea along, it might take us an extra thirty minutes to get there."

"Rude," Thea said, lifting the messenger bag's flap and sticking their clutch inside. "So are we all agreeing to eat lunch, then? Doc can bring her blood smoothie."

"No, I won't," Azrael said as she locked her door behind them. "It's rude to drink blood in front of humans."

"You acting like I walked in on you doing something sketchy every time I bug you during lunch is making a lot more sense now," Thea mused. "How about I bring you coffee, then?"

Azrael chuckled. "Why, are you planning to be late?"

"Don't tempt me," Thea said. "Sometimes I get distracted."

 

[Mikotsuhime]

Wade made a face, gagging in disgust.

"Don't say anus, that's the worst, unsexiest word in the world. Call it an asshole like a civilized person," he complained. Lev rolled his eyes and punched him in the shoulder.

"You're being an ass. If Azrael was meaner, she could get you for sexual harassment," Lev warned, and Wade huffed.

"I'm just joking," he clarified, because sometimes he did take it a bit too far, and it was always good to be sure. "And there's different rules for different people. I get paid more, so I should work harder."

His salary was not much higher than the others on his team, and he was pretty sure Margaret actually made more than him, since she had been at the company since before the internet had even been invented. But it was the principal of the thing.

"Yeah, a kid, huh?" Lev mused, a little curious. "I guess it would suck to have to go in when your kid is sick."

He understood the woes of the working parent, because his parents had both worked growing up, but he imagined that didn't make it much easier.

The subway, at least, was not far away, and once they were out the door it didn't take long to get there.

"I don't think anyone minds," Wade said as they walked, because while he did have social awareness, he often chose not to use it. "But that's weird. I guess I kind of get it, like, if you're being weird about it. Like sucking on tampons from the ladies room or something. But there's nothing wrong with a smoothie."

Lev's eyes went wide as saucers and he slapped him in the ribs.

"Dude! Can you not be an asshole for like five minutes?" he asked in horror, and Wade snorted.

"See? Lev says asshole. It's a good word," he said, and Lev sent Azrael a very apologetic look.

He got that Wade was being a brat because he was stressed, and that was what he did. But not everyone was used to it, and he just prayed she and Thea didn't take it to heart.

 

[Reynarda]

Azrael humphed. "That is the proper name for it. I fail to see how 'asshole' is sexier."

Thea shook their head and stage-whispered, "Don't ever use the word 'hoo-ha' either; it drives her crazy."

"It is an organ," Azrael said, exasperated. "Why can't we just call things by their names?"

"Proper names for organs frighten people," Thea said wisely.

Adjusting her bag, Azrael shook her head. She would never forget the patient who had refused to look at her face when he explained the performance issue he had been having. She really didn't understand why he had been so embarrassed. It happened. There was medication for it.

Azrael shot Wade a displeased look when he said he should work harder because he got paid more. She had a brilliant come back for that which involved CEOs--one in particular--but that was maybe something she should point out once they had gotten his mom in the clear.

She was about to tell Wade she minded because she felt a little weird drinking the blood of a species right in front of them, but then Wade seemed to think she broke into restrooms and rooted through the trashcans. While that would actually be more nutritious than regular blood, it was a little weird.

Thea stared at Azrael, worried she was about to get frustrated. She had been so nervous about telling them and Lev and here was Wade, who only found out because they had nearly blinded her, suggesting she made blood lollipops out of tampons.

But Azrael was just giving Wade a side eye. "You realize that's not just blood, yes? That's the lining of an internal organ. It gets built up to house a small human."

Thea thought of a question. An awful question. But they just had to know. "Do vampires menstruate?"

Azrael looked slightly embarrassed, and Thea clapped a hand over their mouth. "Sorry! Bad question!"

"No, I don't mind answering," Azrael said, pushing through the turnstile into the subway station. "You're just not going to like it."

"What, really?"

Azrael shifted her bag on her shoulder. "We cycle just like human females, it's just longer--closer to eighty-four days. And... we don't actually menstruate. We reabsorb it."

"What?!" Thea demanded, as if the information personally offended them.

Azrael spread her arms. "If you're an apex predator that relies on ambush hunting, bleeding is going to give you away."

"Yeah, well what if you're the thing the apex predator is after," Thea complained, scuffing their feet.

The train was coming, so Azrael gripped their upper arm and pulled them along faster. "You're already aromatic so it wouldn't change much. We still have pain if that makes you feel better."

"It doesn't," Thea huffed.

Azrael patted their arm in consolation before sliding her eyes towards Wade. "Any other off-putting comments you would like to attempt, Mr. Harper? If you like, I can get upset and call you an anus."

 

[Mikotsuhime]

Wade rolled his eyes.

"Ok, I agree about hoo-ha," he said, in the tone of voice of somebody who was about to follow up with something awful. "Just call it a pussy."

An elderly lady who was walking past them gave him a very disapproving look, and Lev was only a little impressed he didn't flip her off.

"Because proper names are always too formal and science-y. Look, if I'm in a club sucking a guy off in the bathroom, I'm not gonna be like 'oh sir please put your penis in my anus'. Why would I get into the habit of calling things the weird science name when you're the only one I'd ever use it with?"

Ok, maybe he was being a bit over the top. But Azrael wasn't getting mad at him or insulting him or regretting her offer to be friends with him, which was weird. Usually by this point he would have either embarrassed or upset the person he was talking to, and not getting there was new. He wasn't entirely sure how to deal with it.

Lev sighed, because if Wade was going to keep at this, then he'd leave it up to Azrael to put him in his place.

"I mean," he began, because he hadn't exactly expected the subject to turn to menstruation. Lev knew him well enough to know that while Wade could dish it out like anyone, he was not nearly as good at actually taking it.

He didn't say that aloud, because he was sure Wade would make another terrible comment. But Wade's cheeks were already turning a little red, and he awkwardly cleared his throat.

"It's basically blood," he pointed out. "Just, you know. With stringy--"

Lev elbowed him again, because there was a mother with two kids who was giving him a murderous look.

When Azrael called him out directly Wade's face flushed even worse, and he shoved his hands awkwardly into his pockets.

"You don't call someone an anus," he grumbled, but he didn't have any other comments for that one.

The fact that she was brushing off everything he was doing had thrown him off, and it was even worse that she knew what he was doing.

Lev considered the conversation, then decided that he could do better than to comment on the menstruation habits of different species. But he found it interesting that vampires seemed to have similar habits to some female therianthropes. He had considered they were closer to just being humans with some extras, but clearly he had his biology all wrong.

 

[Reynarda]

Thea glanced at Dr. Drake, eyebrows raised. Despite her apparent candor, Azrael's least favorite topic was reproduction as, according to her, people were idiots.

"Pussy is worse as it has it's roots in misogyny, which I know is not something you--the child of an amazing woman--wants to perpetuate," Azrael said, knowing she was hitting a little below the belt. But now his little attempts to get on her nerves were getting on her nerves. She ushered everyone into the subway car before rounding on Wade.

"Oh, so what romantic words would you use in that romantic setting you have imagined for yourself?" Azrael practically demanded. "Magic wand and cave of wonders?"

Thea thought about suggesting some romantic terms but ultimately flopped onto the seat nearest where the Doc was standing. They shared a "yikes" glance with Lev. They had wanted more drama, but this was not what they had had in mind.

"And a bathroom? Really?" Azrael shook her head. "Let's take an activity in which you risk STDs and exchange massive amounts of bacteria and make it worse. People have been vomiting and clearing their intestines in that room, and you decide to wave some highly susceptible organs around. How about a Klebsiella infection? Sound like fun? Or a Streptococcal infection."

"No--" Thea began because they had heard this speech before.

"Do you know what happens when you get a penile Streptococcal infection?" Azrael asked, ignoring Thea as she looked at Wade over the top of her glasses. "Swelling. A lot of swelling. Pain, of course, but that is nothing compared to the puss."

"Doc!" Thea squawked. "Please no! You've made your point! I can't take the pee-pee puss speech again."

Azrael supposed she had done enough. At least until Wade corrected her, saying it was basically blood.

She straightened, looking around with a confused frown. Thea shrank down in the subway seat. They'd seen this confused bird act before.

"I'm sorry, did--did you just correct me? Me, a doctor, with twelve years of schooling in the field of organs? How many years of schooling in the field of organs do you have, Mr. Harper? Please, regale me with your organ knowledge."

"Doc," Thea said softly, tugging on her coat. Azrael sounded mildly irritated to most, but Thea could hear the real frustration there. They knew Wade hadn't meant to, but he had struck a nerve. Once, Azrael had very offhandedly mentioned she had fought for every good grade she had achieved when Thea had made a comment about her being naturally gifted. It had never come up again, but Thea had noticed some things made a lot more sense now.

Azrael glanced down at them, and they gave her a little smile. Clicking her teeth together, Azrael leaned back against the pole. She looked suddenly tired. "Well, congratulations, Wade Harper," she said, her tone humorless, "you are being an anus."

 

[Mikotsuhime]

(trigger warning for this whole darned post this is depressing and terrible. Talk of self harm and self destructive habits.)

At first, Wade almost felt vindicated. He had pissed her off, and she was telling him off.

It was almost important, in a way, that he had won. He had showed her he was a terrible guy and that this was what she was getting into by being friends with him.

When she started detailing the horrible stds and infections he risked by having ill-advised drunk sex in a bar bathroom, he wasn't even phased.

She didn't get that the dinginess and miserableness of it all was the point. You didn't go to a bar bathroom for romance. You did it because you were drunk and hated yourself and kind of hoped that something terrible would happen as a result.

Really, if she hadn't been so intent on being understanding, he wouldn't have brought it up. It wasn't even something he did often. Or rather, he tried not to do it often.

It was just when he was feeling like a failure and needed somebody to treat him like garbage and really mess him up. His therapist had given him other tools, and had strongly encouraged that he stop that habit. It was the most destructive one he had by far, and that was saying something. The last time he had ended up in the bathroom of Clara's bar with a broken noise and some far more unpleasant injuries down below, and she had been terrified as she called him an ambulance.

He hadn't done anything like that since then. But he had done it, because he wasn't the good person that Azrael had tried to talk him up as, and--

He stayed silent as she went on her tirade about puss. Lev's face was turning green, and he definitely agreed with Thea on that one.

"Maybe we should all just calm down," he said, because he really did not want Wade to ruin this the way he was intent on ruining every friendship he had.

Lev hated it, because sometimes even he had to fight to stay Wade's friend. If he didn't know the kind of person he was deep down, and the fact that he was trying to change his bad habits, even though he wasn't there yet, sometimes he wondered if he would have stayed as long as he did.

Azrael and Thea didn't know him that well yet, and Lev really, truly hoped Wade didn't screw it up in the beginning because he was intent on being alone his entire life.

"I wasn't correcting you," Wade said suddenly, and Lev was a little surprised. He had expected him to double down on the annoying shithead act, but he sounded surprisingly sincere. "You're right. You know more about that stuff than me."

The point of being a dick wasn't to make her feel bad about herself. It was to make her feel bad about him.

"Maybe we should just. Yeah. Calm down. I shouldn't-- I am being an asshole. Sorry."